I'm in need of a laugh. What are the best jokes you've heard while riding the Jungle Cruise?
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Jungle Cruise
- Thread starter DanielleOG
- Start date
Phonedave
Well-Known Member
"Look over there, it's King Louie"
Come on, you know somone has to say it.
One of my favorites is - we were queued up at the end waiting for the dock to clear, so the skipper was just making stuff up to pass the time. He says " Yeah, so I've been a skipper here for about 2 years. My parents are very proud ........... of my brother, he's a doctor"
It was not the joke so much, but his delivery. His timing, and how he seemed to be proud during the first half of the line, and his disappointed tone during the second was just perfect.
-dave
Come on, you know somone has to say it.
One of my favorites is - we were queued up at the end waiting for the dock to clear, so the skipper was just making stuff up to pass the time. He says " Yeah, so I've been a skipper here for about 2 years. My parents are very proud ........... of my brother, he's a doctor"
It was not the joke so much, but his delivery. His timing, and how he seemed to be proud during the first half of the line, and his disappointed tone during the second was just perfect.
-dave
kap91
Well-Known Member
See that beam overhead (nearing the temple). That’s Disney’s first attempt at the monorail
That’s sandstone but a lot of people take it for granite. (My favorite)
I’d like to take a moment to point out some of the native flora. (Stays silent and points in different directions).
We made it! That’s never ever happened before. As we come in to port you’ll notice there’s a dock on the left and one on the right. This is what we call a paradox. Please exit on your right. If you choose wrong you’ll notice a soggy sensation. Please get back in the boat and try again. I hope you enjoyed your trip today, if you did my name is Kira and this has been the world famous jungle cruise. If you didn’t my name is Matt and this has been the enchanted tiki room. Now please get out! I’m sorry where’s my Disney hospitality. Get out! And have a magical day. Please do watch your head and step as you exit. If you don’t watch your head and miss your step please do watch your language. It’s a family park. Bye bye. Come back soon. I’ll be here. Every 10 minutes. (Laments) For the rest of my life.
That’s sandstone but a lot of people take it for granite. (My favorite)
I’d like to take a moment to point out some of the native flora. (Stays silent and points in different directions).
We made it! That’s never ever happened before. As we come in to port you’ll notice there’s a dock on the left and one on the right. This is what we call a paradox. Please exit on your right. If you choose wrong you’ll notice a soggy sensation. Please get back in the boat and try again. I hope you enjoyed your trip today, if you did my name is Kira and this has been the world famous jungle cruise. If you didn’t my name is Matt and this has been the enchanted tiki room. Now please get out! I’m sorry where’s my Disney hospitality. Get out! And have a magical day. Please do watch your head and step as you exit. If you don’t watch your head and miss your step please do watch your language. It’s a family park. Bye bye. Come back soon. I’ll be here. Every 10 minutes. (Laments) For the rest of my life.
These are all fantastic!!!
StarWarsGirl
Well-Known Member
- In the Parks
- No
This one that I've heard several times at DL...
"Over there is the second most feared creature in Africa. The African male bull elephant. And then over there is the most feared...his mother-in-law. She will come over to your house and nag and nag and nag and nag..."
"Over there is the second most feared creature in Africa. The African male bull elephant. And then over there is the most feared...his mother-in-law. She will come over to your house and nag and nag and nag and nag..."
discomouse131
Active Member
I'm always amazed by those huge butterflies whose wingspan can grow from 1 foot to a whopping 12..... inches! 
MrConbon
Well-Known Member
I had one similar but instead it was, “I’m interested in a long term relationship”. The kids didn’t find it funny but I found it hilarious
I am sure that they used to tell jokes as you went through the "Shirley" temple.
OliveMcFly
Well-Known Member
I've always liked "I'd like to take this time to point out some of my favorite plants. That one. That one. That one."
EricTheRed
Member
They say there are no gators here, but that's a croc!
KBLovedDisney
Well-Known Member
My absolute favorite was when exiting the boat:
"I don't know how else to say this so...get out. Or to be more nice, PLEASE...get out."
That one left me in tears the first time I heard it. (Not sure why I found it so funny to be honest)
"I don't know how else to say this so...get out. Or to be more nice, PLEASE...get out."
That one left me in tears the first time I heard it. (Not sure why I found it so funny to be honest)
Goofyernmost
Well-Known Member
Don't remember the exact wording... but at unload the skipper saying... And be sure to take your child by the hand. Any children left behind become permanent additions to Small World.
Mark Dunne
Well-Known Member
whilst arriving at the waterfall and tribesmen, Quick use your children for Sheids, sorry I meant shield your children, LOL LOL, Amy was so funny we loved her as our guide.
Mark Dunne
Well-Known Member
not a joke , but classic comedy when going through the waterfall before you get there the skipper saying best way to use fast pass system, as going through the load water totally blocking out the sound of Amy’s voice, as you get through it at the end she say’s “and that’s the best way to use you fast passes,brilliant!!!
