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InnKpr Saves Halloween


Well-Known Member
Original Poster
Ah, yes. 2020. That meddlesome mess of a year with what seems like an endless array of problems unfolding. As Covid taunts us daily with its never ending presence, and nervousness mounts as to how it will impact schools, sports, and other looming Autumn activities, one event is gradually approaching with a big question mark on it's shoulders: Trick or Treat.

Whether you're a candy giver or seeker, how can anyone say Trick or Treating is a safe activity this Halloween for anyone? Truth be told, it isn't. Even if you're launching candy with a slingshot at open vehicle windows as people drive by with open bags in hand... you're still putting children at risk of touching items recently touched by others. What parent honestly has time to sanitize mounds of treats in a safe manner as their salivating youngsters await patiently?

I think I may have figured out how to solve the great Trick or Treat conundrum of 2020.
Ladies and gentlemen, we need to elect a mythical Halloween character to deliver treats to children who are of age to still believe in the likes of other fictitious bringers of joy such as Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy, and Emilio Estevez.

Very similar to other examples, children set out their candy buckets / bags the night before Halloween - no milk & cookie offering required - parents, of course, deliver the goods, but make the children think it's whatever character who did the deed. Children awake to candy and merriment. Simple.

Now the big question: WHO should this fictitious character be? It must be someone globally agreed upon. You can't have children in one region being told that Jack Skellington is coming to deliver treats, while in another part of the state, it's The Great Pumpkin. If that were the case, children would soon figure out the whole thing is baloney. It also can't be a ripoff of another holiday's character ("Spooky Santa" "Demented Bunny") no, it's got to be exclusive to this holiday.

I was thinking maybe somebody well-known that we all can get behind, like Pennywise the Dancing Clown.

Children could set out their treat buckets on a shelf somewhere near the bathtub, since Pennywise travels through plumbing and enters dwellings through drains. Parents could even get real creative, and leave large, clown-sized footprints on the bathroom floor near where the candy is delivered, showing he arrived to do his work overnight.
Children awake Halloween morn, are greeted with buckets of candy, and the magic of this special day is not robbed from them due to the pandemic. It's foolproof. Let's consult our city leaders and make this happen.

Not trying to brag, but I may have just saved Halloween. Move over, Ernest.

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