I need some advice

[shuflemstr]

I'm currently on disability from from current job due to an anxiety disorder caused by my store manager. Transferring locally to another store is not possible. My dream has always been to move to Florida. I can ask for a transfer to the Orlando area but it comes with a problem. I'm an only child. If I had a sibling here to watch over my mom, its a no brainer, i would move. But, she has congestive heart failure and has a pacemaker, so if i move I will worry about getting that pone call. She cannot move yet because she is not able to get on Medicare. I don't know what to do.

 

[rsoxguy]

Hello. As I type this post, I remain mindful of the fact that we are strangers. As a result, I type these words with a due sense of caution.

I will base my answer on two things: the information that you have provided, and general life-principles.

First, the information that you have provided. If you are subject to stress that is caused by the actions of others, then it is hard for me to accept any potential for you to live stress free due to the status of your mother's health. I believe that moving to a location that hinders close contact with her will be a detriment to your well being. Any "dream" to move to Orlando has the potential of becoming a nightmare because of stress, guilt, and anguish.

As to the life principle, I am of the opinion that honor and duty should often lead us to personal sacrifice. If your mother needs your presence and help in her life, then living close enough to see her regularly would be the honorable thing to do. If she could use your help and fellowship on a regular basis, then providing her with those things would be the right thing to do. Adjust your job situation, and move forward.

 

[Nemo14]

Moving away will not guarantee that your stress will disappear, especially if you know that your mother's situation will worry you.

 

[The Mom]

Florida isn't really any different than any other place - only warmer. Residents are not on vacation, and we have the same problems and stresses as everyone else.

 

[ExtinctJenn]

I completely understand having the opportunity to follow a dream and it being hard to resist but I have to echo what folks above said... I think you'd be trading one type of stress for another in this case. If your mother truly is ill and in need of your assistance (in any way) maybe it's a good idea to put your dream on hold. I know that sounds horrible and just typing it was hard for me because I know how putting dreams on hold feels. The key is, Florida isn't going anywhere... it'll be there for your to follow your dreams another day.

Another thing to keep in mind is, if you have an axiety disorder, a move (especially one to another state) can cause a lot of anxiety, even if it is a dream. There is so much involved in moving to another state and it can often be a huge stresser in itself. I'm speaking from experience here. I moved from NY to AL, AL to FL and FL to NC and each time was never easy.

I know you want advice and you were hoping someone would respond with something encouraging you to follow your dream but I think, based on what little we truly know about you and your situation given what you shared, now is just not the right time.

 

[captainkidd]

Yeah, sorry, but anxiety disorder doesn't go away based on your zip code. I have it, and if I miss a dose of my meds or am in a specific situation, it doesn't matter if it's at home or at the Magic Kingdom - I will have a panic attack.

 

[ratherbeinwdw]

I'm currently on disability from from current job due to an anxiety disorder caused by my store manager. Transferring locally to another store is not possible. My dream has always been to move to Florida. I can ask for a transfer to the Orlando area but it comes with a problem. I'm an only child. If I had a sibling here to watch over my mom, its a no brainer, i would move. But, she has congestive heart failure and has a pacemaker, so if i move I will worry about getting that pone call. She cannot move yet because she is not able to get on Medicare. I don't know what to do.

Does she need you physically? If she can physically live well without you, then your mental health and job situation, should be taken into consideration. With phones and skype and facetime, you can speak to your mom more than you probably do living close to her. Yes, she could get ill and need you, but you could quickly get to her if needed, and she may do well for years and years and you would have given up your dream. My sister is in the same situation at her job. People who've never had to work under that kind of stress from a boss or co-worker won't understand what you are saying. Her company also has a store she could manage in Orlando, but she worries about leaving her grown children and grandchildren. So, it works both ways. We haven't lived your life or know the entire situation, so we can't really give you good advice.
If, however, she physically needs you to take her to appointments and shopping and such, then I don't see how you could leave her right now.
Or, if you and your children are with her regularly, then I wouldn't be able to take them away from her or leave her alone.
My grown son moved to LA eight years ago. It was very hard at first, but with skype and email, I actually ended up talking to him more that when he lived here.
One other reason I say that moving may be a consideration is that you said that once she gets on Medicare she could move also.
There are too many unknowns for any of us to help you make this decision.

 

[wiigirl]

Florida isn't really any different than any other place - only warmer. Residents are not on vacation, and we have the same problems and stresses as everyone else.

This...I lived in Florida for years...moved away and back, all my problems pretty much stayed the same.