Husband not so into it

[jengrey]

This will probably sound like a Dear Abby column.Not sure where to post this, but it has something to do with planning...

My husband and I are leaving for WDW in a little over a month. I surprised him with the trip back in March. He's never even been to Florida and he says he's excited, but when it comes to planning, I feel like he doesn't give a hoot. Other than looking at a few menus for restaurants that I made our ADR's for, he hasn't looked at anything else. I offered to show him some YouTube videos of rides and tell him about them before I made FP+ reservations (he has blood pressure issues and gets motion sick easily) but he just said to surprise him. So I tried to make choices that we would both enjoy. I'm starting to worry that he's not as excited anymore. I know everyone's not a Disney nut, but
I'm just a little miffed that he doesn't want to partake in any of the planning and isn't even curious about the attractions/shows/etc.

Does anyone else have a member in their family who just doesn't seem that into it before the trip?

 

[Much-Pixie-Dust]

Here's my personal experience:

I am a "super-planner" for every trip (and life experience), not just Disney. I love to plan. It is like a hobby for me. My DH is not into planning for vacations. He has to constantly plan and manage meticulously for his job. So planning a vacation feels like work to him, thus taking some of the fun and joy out of the vacation for him. I get it. We always have a great time, and I know he appreciates the time and energy I put into planning. So, take his word that he is excited and just go with it. Chatting with others on forums like these helps me with wanting to share the planning with others.
Have a great trip!

 

[LdyApxr]

Here's my personal experience:

I am a "super-planner" for every trip (and life experience), not just Disney. I love to plan. It is like a hobby for me. My DH is not into planning for vacations. He has to constantly plan and manage meticulously for his job. So planning a vacation feels like work to him, thus taking some of the fun and joy out of the vacation for him. I get it. We always have a great time, and I know he appreciates the time and energy I put into planning. So, take his word that he is excited and just go with it. Chatting with others on forums like these helps me with wanting to share the planning with others.
Have a great trip!

Yep, that's my husband too. He spent 28yrs in the AF and now works at the refinery and when it comes to planning, he just does not care. Just does not. He knows I will start planning for our next trip when we are still on the current trip and he humors me when I start talking Disney 24/7 but for him, he has to plan out everything he does and all the steps to do it and he just does not want to when it comes to vacations. Kind of irritating but I probably burn out him and the boys with all my research. He's happy to let me plan because he knows I research everything and will still have a great trip.

 

[Much-Pixie-Dust]

Yep, that's my husband too. He spent 28yrs in the AF and now works at the refinery and when it comes to planning, he just does not care. Just does not. He knows I will start planning for our next trip when we are still on the current trip and he humors me when I start talking Disney 24/7 but for him, he has to plan out everything he does and all the steps to do it and he just does not want to when it comes to vacations. Kind of irritating but I probably burn out him and the boys with all my research. He's happy to let me plan because he knows I research everything and will still have a great trip.

It's like we live in the same house @LdyApxr! We are kindred spirits and so are our spouses!

 

[LdyApxr]

It's like we live in the same house @LdyApxr! We are kindred spirits and so are our spouses!

LOL! I know right? Great minds and all that!

We tease him because every year if we mention Disney, he does this "Can't we go anywhere else? Does it always have to be Disney?(mind you, we have never been to WDW so we are going in May)" and then we get there, have a couple drinks by the pool, ride some rides and we inevitably hear "This was a really good idea!" At least he never says "I'm glad I thought of doing this" because he knows that would just not fly. LOL I'd be all about invoking TX law in CA, He needed killin'. LOL

 

[Much-Pixie-Dust]

LOL! I know right? Great minds and all that!

We tease him because every year if we mention Disney, he does this "Can't we go anywhere else? Does it always have to be Disney?(mind you, we have never been to WDW so we are going in May)" and then we get there, have a couple drinks by the pool, ride some rides and we inevitably hear "This was a really good idea!" At least he never says "I'm glad I thought of doing this" because he knows that would just not fly. LOL I'd be all about invoking TX law in CA, He needed killin'. LOL

You will love WDW and so will he! We will be there in May too, the last week. We have never been to DL, but really want to go there too. I tell DH we should do it on a couple of day layover when he takes me to Aulani.

 

[allgiggles]

Here's my personal experience:

I am a "super-planner" for every trip (and life experience), not just Disney. I love to plan. It is like a hobby for me. My DH is not into planning for vacations. He has to constantly plan and manage meticulously for his job. So planning a vacation feels like work to him, thus taking some of the fun and joy out of the vacation for him. I get it. We always have a great time, and I know he appreciates the time and energy I put into planning. So, take his word that he is excited and just go with it. Chatting with others on forums like these helps me with wanting to share the planning with others.
Have a great trip!

This is exactly why my husband leaves the planning to me. He spends so much time at his job planning and overseeing things that the last thing he wants to do is meticulously plan a vacation. He truly appreciates and understands the work I put into our vacations and thanks me numerous times for it. We're a team and vacation planning is my responsibility.

 

[cjlyon]

I took my husband for his first time 2 years ago and he wondered why I did so much pre-planning. He said that's not a vacation if you have to be someplace all the time. He didn't realize how much there is to do and how much planning you have to do to cram everything you really want to do into one week. Needless to say we are going again soon and he has been very involved this time around.

 

[StephK]

My boyfriend is exactly the same, doesn't get excited until we are actually there & doesn't really have anything to do with the planning or booking. Its just how he is though I know he'll still have a great time! I wouldn't let it worry you too much , this way you can pick all the restaurants & rides you enjoy

 

[ginadee]

When it comes to Disney having someone who doesn't want to be involved in planning is the perfect travel partner to me

 

[PrincessNelly_NJ]

My fiance gives me his list of places to eat & where he would like to stay but otherwise he doesn't care to help plan it. He doesn't even like to talk about it until we are on the plane! lol. He loves it though, he tried to get me to buy into DVC!

 

[Disneyhead'71]

Just a thought but why would someone with high BP and one that gets motion sickness be excited to go to a theme park with rides?

A lot of locals go to the parks and don't ride anything. Just hangin', and eating, and more snacking, maybe a drink or 5. Chillin' with the villians, and 5 foot rodents. And just all around marveling at what people wear on their feet in an amusement park. It's good fun.

 

[sheriffwoody]

My husband helped pick the ADRs, but he doesn't care about the fast passes. Some people just aren't that into planning. Doesn't mean he won't have fun!

 

[officialtom]

I find first-timers generally struggle to get as deep into planning as we crazy-obsessed-WDWers do because they just don't get it yet. But after the first trip, most are hooked!

 

[KLeigh]

Sounds like this is pretty common all around.

Planning my 2012 and 2013 with my (now ex) boyfriend was pretty much the same way. I'm a big vacation planner in general, and while he liked Disney he didn't love it like I do. I got opinions on things he wanted to do, or specific restaurants he wanted to visit and made sure to include them in our itinerary. But the rest was up to me. (I also had lots of help from everyone here!)

His explanation about being hands-off during planning is that he wanted me to have the best trip possible, and he would enjoy it no matter what.

What he said to our friends after we got home from our 2012 trip made my whole single-planner experience worth it:
"I'd been to Disney a few times before, but I never really experienced it until I went with her. Nobody does Disney like she does. I can't wait to go back next year."

 

[MotherofaPrincessLover]

My husband isn't into Disney planning. He actually likes to pretend that he doesn't really like Disney. I do most of the planning and may occasionally have him look over a menu just to try to get some input from him. It's probably better that I do the planning because I love it!

 

[allgiggles]

My husband isn't into Disney planning. He actually likes to pretend that he doesn't really like Disney. I do most of the planning and may occasionally have him look over a menu just to try to get some input from him. It's probably better that I do the planning because I love it!

My husband likes to pretend he doesn't like Disney, too! He tells everyone that he only goes there every few years because it makes *me* happy. Yet on the last night of our trip this past June, he already said, "Depending on how much my bonus is at work this year, we should think about maybe coming back next year." He mentioned going back next year a few more times over the last month or so. This past Saturday, he told me I should plan a trip for next June. I'm sure he'll tell everyone that it was my idea to go again next year.

 

[smk]

My husband goes only because I love it so much....heard that one before! Now his only requests, actually demands, are that we always stay on property, work in a rest day or two and try for 7 FULL nights. Other than that we are good. He could care less were we eat, loves the MNSSHP and loves fall in the MK. So I am on my own planning!

 

[DisneyDaver]

This will probably sound like a Dear Abby column.Not sure where to post this, but it has something to do with planning...

My husband and I are leaving for WDW in a little over a month. I surprised him with the trip back in March. He's never even been to Florida and he says he's excited, but when it comes to planning, I feel like he doesn't give a hoot. Other than looking at a few menus for restaurants that I made our ADR's for, he hasn't looked at anything else. I offered to show him some YouTube videos of rides and tell him about them before I made FP+ reservations (he has blood pressure issues and gets motion sick easily) but he just said to surprise him. So I tried to make choices that we would both enjoy. I'm starting to worry that he's not as excited anymore. I know everyone's not a Disney nut, but
I'm just a little miffed that he doesn't want to partake in any of the planning and isn't even curious about the attractions/shows/etc.

Does anyone else have a member in their family who just doesn't seem that into it before the trip?

My wife (who is otherwise wonderful) is same way as your husband. She has no involvement in planning our WDW trips and leaves everything to me. She will look at a few menus but that is the extent of it. That said, she always has a great time when we are at WDW so there is plenty of hope that your husband will love your trip even if he isn't actively involved in planning it.

 

[Weather_Lady]

Does anyone else have a member in their family who just doesn't seem that into it before the trip?

Is your husband the kind of person who says, "surprise me" and then genuinely enjoys (or is at least content) with your choices? If so, try to see his lack of interest in planning as a gift. Perhaps he doesn't know a lot of about what WDW offers and would rather enjoy the surprise, or perhaps he just doesn't enjoy the planning aspect of travel. My DH is that way -- he sees planning as "stress" and hates making decisions, and except for suggesting a favorite ADR or two, wants nothing to do with Disney planning. If I do the planning for us, he is happy to show up, go with the flow, keep a positive attitude, enjoy himself, and not complain about any of the choices I've made.

In contrast, I have a brother-in-law who is actively involved and interested in co-planning vacations with my sister -- so much so that they find vacation planning to be a continual tug-of-war between them, which makes Disney-related choices a frustrating misery.

Given the two extremes, I'll take the "not so interested in planning" guy any day!

 

[cedardad]

I'm the Disney planner in our family. My wife and girls love the surprises I plan for every trip. It kills them that I won't give a hint until it happens. When we were chosen as the family to open the Magic Kingdom in December 2013 my then 8 year old daughter looked at me and said "Dad, did you plan this too?" I'm good sweetheart, but not that good.
My wife plans the flights, packs for all of us and makes sure we have plenty of $$ but once we get to the resort I take over.