How Do You Deal With Difficult Party Members?

BrittanyRose428

BrittanyRose428

Well-Known Member
Original Poster
I'm having a difficult time maneuvering through the parks with all of the different personalities in my family, and was wondering if anyone else has had a similar situation and has some tips for dealing with it.

For some background, I LOVE going to the parks with my fiance, and with my friends (I'm currently down here on the college program, so I come to the parks a lot and it's completely fine.) I haven't been with my family since I was much younger, so I don't remember too much about what it was like back then, but they're currently here visiting me, and it's just a lot of competing personalities that are making things difficult.

They keep asking me to plan everything for them, and they ask me what we should do and what I want to do, etc... but it doesn't matter to me! I want to do whatever they want, I'm here all the time. So no one makes any decisions about anything, and everyone is just completely disorganized. I don't really know if I'm explaining this well... I love my family, but I have no idea what to do with them here. They don't "get" Disney like we on this forum do. They complain about the rain in Florida, and about the heat, and waiting in line, and the walking, and I'm just stressed out trying to coordinate everything and make everyone happy. I feel like a tour guide who is trying to coordinate all kinds of unreasonable demands. They're only here for a couple of days, but they have so many things they want to do that it's impossible to do all they want, but no one can make a decision and give me an answer when I ask what their priorities are.

I don't know if I'm explaining this well enough, I'm sure every family has their own issues, I just feel so much pressure because they want me to make all these decisions for them, and yet they still just complain about things that should be expected when you're visiting Florida/WDW. I have an amazing time here with my friends and fiance, and cannot believe how difficult it is visiting the parks with my family. I'm at a loss trying to please everyone, and almost wish I had just gone home for this couple of days instead of having had them come here.

-end rant- Sorry for the novel of the post, I clearly needed to vent lol.
 
FettFan

FettFan

Well-Known Member
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Chernaboggles

Chernaboggles

Well-Known Member
If they want to be guided, guide away. Stop asking what they want to do and ask instead if they want to do THIS THING or THAT THING. Open-ended questions are bad, just give limited options and see if that helps. Sometimes groups of adults are every bit as bad as toddlers when it comes to being unable to make decisions and being cranky about whatever is decided.
 
BrerJon

BrerJon

Well-Known Member
Don't give them many options, come up with a list of 7 or 8 attractions in each park, a good order to do them in, and let them go from one to another with no worrying about hurrying, so if people want to stop to look in shops or take bathroom breaks, that's cool.

Once that's done, you can then ask if there's anything else they'd like to do, and add that to the list.
 
Walt Disney1955

Walt Disney1955

Well-Known Member
It would be fun to guide a first timer. I did that with my wife in 2009 at WDW but that was it. Maybe my mother in law will come with us sometime.
 
CAPTAIN HOOK

CAPTAIN HOOK

Well-Known Member
In a place where choices are overwhelming, its difficult to formulate a plan. I've previously been to WDW with my wife and two young daughters, everyone was involved in the planning stages before we left the UK, voicing their preferences and we just went from there.
We return in August next year. My young daughters are now both adults and we'll have a boyfriend coming along as well. Our solution to the "what to do" issue - we pick a park for the day. If you want to go do your own thing great, just meet up with us at xyz for lunch at the pre-selected time.
Easy ?? I'll let you know :)
 
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tor29c

tor29c

Well-Known Member
I feel for you Brittany! 6 of my family members went in April. In October they decided I would be the one to make all the ADRs and FP+ selections. They would be happy with whatever I planned, is what I was told. I kept everyone in the know through the entire process and told them to let me know if they wanted any changes. Well, we get to WDW and all of a sudden most of them were not happy with the choices I made. UGH!!! So, I explained to them how they can change FP+ and asked them to let me know if they were not going to be eating at the restaurants I had chosen so I could modify the reservation. A couple of us broke off on our own to stay away from the madness and we had a lovely time. Very few of us ate at the restaurants I had spent time making ADRs for. I could have let it make me crazy but instead I decided just to go with the flow. Definitely have no intention of vacationing with this bunch again though. Lesson learned!
 
zurgandfriend

zurgandfriend

Well-Known Member
I feel your pain. We had a "Grand Gathering" with my in-laws a few years ago, worst trip ever. They all stayed at different resorts and it took forever just to meet up. After a few days I said "We, DW, DS and myself are going to, say Epcot, tomorrow you can meet us there or go your own way. Luckily I only scheduled two meals together, both of which were disasters.
 
Nemo14

Nemo14

Well-Known Member
Been there - done that. I'm generally the planner of our groups, and after a while you learn that you'll never totally please everyone. So try to mix it up with some new stuff (good luck finding that ;)) and some of the classics that they'll remember from previous trips. Leave a lot of wiggle room too so if they want to try something else, it's no biggie. Relax anyway, they're there to see you enjoying yourself, more than just seeing the parks.
 
MattC

MattC

Well-Known Member
Agree with the above. My family has a hard time deciding what they want to do. They say, "you decide," so I do. Works well for us.
 
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Andy Whitfield

Andy Whitfield

Active Member
BrittanyEarnsHerEars said:
They keep asking me to plan everything for them, and they ask me what we should do and what I want to do, etc... but it doesn't matter to me! I want to do whatever they want, I'm here all the time. So no one makes any decisions about anything, and everyone is just completely disorganized.
Click to expand...

and there lies the problem. If you don't plan you end up without a plan and complete disorganisation.
 
JohnD

JohnD

Well-Known Member
I know how you feel. I was with the folks in Epcot during the Flower and Garden Festival. I figured we would browse the food kiosks for lunch. You know a leisurely stroll around WS. Instead, it was "where are we going to have lunch. How about this?", referring to outside patio at Mexico. No that doesn't work. Messes up the stomach. All of a sudden, I became a man on a mission to find lunch NOW. I got us to Norway next door and walked into the cafe. "How about this? They serve ham sandwiches and beer." Yes, that worked. So much for the leisurely stroll.

All this to say, make sure to plan ahead meal time whenever and whereever it will be, whether an ADR or "we're going to eat at X counter service at X:00 time."
 
JIMINYCR

JIMINYCR

Well-Known Member
They are deferring the planning to you because they look at you as being the one in the Disney system, the one in the know. Since its just for a couple of days, plan things out that are major attractions to do, leave some open time to do things they might mention at the last minute they want to do. Bite your tongue and keep your cool about anything negative they may say. Keep reminding yourself its only for a couple of days and you have the rest of your time at Disney to enjoy yourself.
You are young, yes families can be difficult but time passes and family members leave us too quickly, so enjoy the time you have with them and years from now you will wish you had them back with you to enjoy that brief time over again.
 
The Incredible Schmulk

The Incredible Schmulk

Well-Known Member
Chernaboggles said:
If they want to be guided, guide away. Stop asking what they want to do and ask instead if they want to do THIS THING or THAT THING. Open-ended questions are bad, just give limited options and see if that helps. Sometimes groups of adults are every bit as bad as toddlers when it comes to being unable to make decisions and being cranky about whatever is decided.
Click to expand...
I can say from personal experience that the "this or that" method does not work with a large group of individuals. You get a lot of "I don't knows" which results in a lot of standing around in the middle of walkways blocking the foot traffic.

My advice is a different kind of this or that: either you need to just take control and push the group from place to place without conversation, or you let everyone go off and do their own thing and schedule meet-ups during the day for meals or pictures or events, what have you. Any choice given to the whole group is too much choice. People will have thirty minute debates about which direction to walk. You want to avoid that nightmare as best you can.

Good luck. One such day in Disneyland a few years back nearly put my wife and me into padded rooms.
 
D

dadddio

Well-Known Member
Split your group. Trying to keep large disparate groups on the same plan is a recipe for a miserable vacation.

Plan some stuff that they'll like and plan things that you'll like. Where those two subsets interconnect, plan to do them at the same time. Other than that and scheduling meals together, let them go their way and you go yours.
 

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