Heartbreak Hotel..

[real mad hatter]

Good Morning Everyone...Hmm..This is a serious, if not poignant question I have to ask today...The other day whilst in the travel agent collecting our tickets,we met an old friend who was in booking a vacation to Florida for July 2014...They, as a family of 5, have been going to Orlando since 2002. But in late 2011.Their 34 year old daughter passed away, due to a tumour..I attended the funeral ( I hate them ) But they played the song " Life is a highway " from Cars at the end..There wasn't a dry eye in the church..She was Disney daft..Ok..Now you get the picture, here's my question..They always stayed at The Polynesian but they have opted to stay on I- Drive as they told us they couldn't bear staying there again,as it would bring back so many memories..What would you do in this situation if you lost a member of your family.?.Would you return to the resort you always stayed at, or would that be too painful.? .Personally speaking for myself, I'am not sure if I would even want to stay on site again..Anyway, I'am curious on your views on this delicate subject..

 

[zurgandfriend]

I would stay at the Polynesian and celebrate my loved ones life and passsion. My sister and I have a sort of similar situation. There are certain meals our dear mother prepared at holiday time. My sister cannot bring herself to prepare or eat any of these meals. I on the other hand prepare and share them with my family. I feel that by continuing the traditions we are remembering and celebrating my mothers life. I tell my sister that if you are remembered than you are not really gone, but she doesn't agree.

 

[Mr Ferret 75]

Blimey Mr H some dust got in my eye thinking of that.I would go back to anywhere me and DW have stayed as it has always been good times whilst we were there and that is how i would always remember her.Yes it would be upsetting but I would make it a point to go at least once in her memory (plus i would have to go to scatter her ashes )

 

[71dsp]

I would stay at the Polynesian and celebrate my loved ones life and passsion. My sister and I have a sort of similar situation. There are certain meals our dear mother prepared at holiday time. My sister cannot bring herself to prepare or eat any of these meals. I on the other hand prepare and share them with my family. I feel that by continuing the traditions we are remembering and celebrating my mothers life. I tell my sister that if you are remembered than you are not really gone, but she doesn't agree.

I agree. I try to continuously celebrate life, not mourn death. My beloved mother passed away in 2012, but my wife, son, and I still mention fond memories of Grandma. We still refer to the guest room as "Grandma's room" and so on. I try to have an open dialog with my son about missing Grandma, but also discussions around remembering and honoring her. I miss her terribly, don't get me wrong, but I do my best to remember the good times.

 

[Hakunamatata]

I would stay on site. It would be tough but that's all part of the grieving process.

 

[Weather_Lady]

I suppose much of it depends on your world view. We lost my mother last summer after a lifetime of intermittent family Disney World trips. We are devout Christians, as was she, and I am confident that she is in heaven and that I will be reunited with her oneday. Although I feel her absence deeply and miss her beyond words, there is a sweetness to that sorrow, and so I enjoy revisiting the places in Disney World where we made happy memories. I would imagine that for those who do not have such beliefs, mourning must be even more painful. Even if I'm wrong about that, still, we are all very different, and I don't think there's any such thing as the "wrong" way to grieve.

[Edited to add]: I admit that I would never have thought, before Mom died, that I would so want to revel in places that reminded me of her, but I find that I do and so does my family. My father stays in their big house because he loves being reminded of her presence there and having her things around to jog his memory about all the laughs they enjoyed in their decades of life together. Her fleece bathrobe -- the one she wore the day she told us she was going off of dialysis, 5 days before she died -- is still draped over the living room sofa, and I give it a hug and bury my face in it for a moment every time I visit, just for a faint whiff of her shampoo. We enjoy going through old photographs and family movies from time to time, and going to places we used to go as a family, because we don't want to forget how much we enjoyed Mom when she was here. Of course we're sad, but we know that she wouldn't have wanted us to stop living our lives or enjoying the same things we used to, just because she was gone. Clearly, however, that's not the case for everyone, and when it comes to coping with the death of a loved one, you simply have to take each day as it comes and "do what you've gotta do" to keep yourself sane and productive.

 

[real mad hatter]

Interesting views all round on this subject..I'am a great believer in that old saying " Time is a Healer "

 

[jw24]

Well considering that I haven't traveled with my family to WDW and stayed at an on-site hotel with them, the hotel of choice wouldn't concern me too much if I lost a family member. Frankly, I'd be more concerned about myself and whether I could even handle being there to begin with in all aspects. But I can see why some would avoid a favorite hotel because it brings back the memories and can make the problem worse. But at the same time, bringing back the old memories by staying at their preferred hotel can help and make them feel better in a way. It's definitely not the same but all the great memories you had will always be there and are irreplaceable.

 

[awoogala]

They may go back in time. Everyone has their own timeline for grief. It may be too close right now, but in a few more years, they may wish to revisit and reminisce. I can't answer for myself, since I have not lost anyone that close yet, to hazard a guess as to how I would feel.

 

[Dog Ate Mouse]

Everyone grieves differently and in some cases will take a bad thing and make a bigger mess out of it then it already is. Sometimes this is a persons way out to say I don't want to to this or do that because they never really liked it in the first place. For other's they are sincere and do not want the memories and moments to come back and hit them at all. For me I embrace and live life to it's fullest. I would return for at least one trip and look up and tell the one I loved this is for you and me and that I will one day see you again. After that I would move on and continue this journey that we call life. I am 50 and learned something this year that I never have thought of before. My DW and I have taking care of my mother in my house for 10 years and durring that time had a sitter to come him and take care of her durring the day when we were at work. My Mom is 96.5 years old and this past year due to her health and now need for 7x24 care that I could not provide had to be placed in a nursing home. My wife and I take turns and she vistis Mom today and I tomorrow. One Sunday we brought up lunch and I played guitar Bluegrass Gospel hyms for the Seniors. Before I played while eating I looked at my wife and we both looked at each other and then at all the seniors. We both right then and there realized that one day that will probably be us. So from that point and time realized how importantant it is to live life every day and be thankfull for every moment and every minute in time that we both can walk, laugh, go places, enjoy each other and go on vacations because one day we get old and die. Life is to remember the past and all the good things it had, it should also be a time to realize to not get caught up in the past and move on. Death stings no matter how well we are prepared. It's how we embrace life that allows us to move on and continue. I know I am going to dye one day and will not be afraid to face it, but I will be ready for another adventure in heaven. Move on remember the past honor the loved ones who have come and gone in your life and don't forget to be thankful for every day. As stated in Lonsome Dove. Life's been one hell of a dance, hasn't it Woodrow.

 

[Disvillain63]

We relive old memories every time we go and even while at home...about Disney. We returned to Disney in May 2008, about a year after my MIL passed away. We stayed on-site, as we had done with her, and remembered the great times...such as her telling Mad Hatter that she preferred coffee over tea. (She hadn't grown-up with Alice in Wonderland, so she had no idea who Mad Hatter was...she did after this trip.) We were having breakfast at 1900 PF and Mad Hatter saw her drinking tea and just sat down and started talking to her. She didn't know what to think at first, but she went along with it...10 precious minutes of conversation with Mad Hatter on the subject of tea/coffee...caught on video, photo, and memories forever. It actually helped the healing.

 

[NoWayJose]

Very touching thread. Fortunately I haven't lost my parents yet, so i can't begin to pretend I know the pain of losing a close loved one. I'm an only child. I've been to Disney with my Mom over 20+ times. I don't think I will be able to return to Disney at all after she passes. Too many memories. I'm an emotional person and I genuinely don't think I'll be able to handle it. I can understand both sides of the argument about celebrating our loved ones lives and such, but man, not looking forward to what will be the worst day of my life.

 

[ninjaprincesst]

My husband passed away when my daughter was two. I take her to Disney and stay at the Wl where her dad and I stayed. I point out places all over the property that have memories of him, it actually makes me feel better, and I feel like Im sharing part of him with her since she was too young to remember him

 

[real mad hatter]

Good Morning..I would like to take this moment to thank everyone here for telling their personnel experiences.I can understand everyone has a different way of dealing with it..I go with @NoWayJose ..I honestly don't think I could ever stay at our favourite resort...Come to think of it..I'am not sure I could handle even going back to Florida..I still have a wee cry at the end of " Plains,Trains,& Automobiles."...

 

[Obi]

good movie, hatter...

i can sort of understand how some of these people are going through. i recently got back from our trip to wdw with my mom. she has cancer, for the 4th time, and she pretty much doesn't have much time left. in fact, this may have been her last trip to wdw even though it is her wish to have the whole immediate family go on one trip together before she passes...

my mom is a huge wdw fan. she really loves being there and is the reason for my love of wdw as well. i know the thoughts have seriously crossed my mind about whether i'd be able to go back to the same resorts, or even wdw in general.....

however, i seem to always go back to the thoughts of that she loves wdw. she loves everything about it. she is always happy there. never sad. i'm always happy there and never sad and i know that is what she would want for me. she wouldn't want me to not enjoy it anymore. she would want me to continue to enjoy it. that would be, in my mind, the best way to honor my mom and i plan on doing that when the time comes....

my fiance' and i already have plans to spend our honeymoon at wdw. i'm hoping my mom is still alive to be there for our wedding. however, either way, i will still go and enjoy it because my mom instilled that love of wdw in me...

 

[PolynesianPrincess]

My Mom instilled my sister and my love for Disney at a very young age. Every trip I have made to WDW, my Mom has been there. Next month's trip marks the first time I'll be traveling to WDW without my mother. It's just my sister, my cousin and myself going. It will be very strange but I know she is just a text or a phone call away if I want to share some of the magic with her. I can't even fathom going to WDW after she passes. I know that first trip will be really hard.

 

[luv]

I cannot even begin to imagine what I'd do if my child died.

I don't think there is any wrong choice. Whatever they do, it is the right thing to do.

 

[IWantMyMagicBand]

I don't think I could go back to WDW if anything happened to my dad. My mum and dad are divorced and I go with dad now, but I honestly can't remember any memories of being in WDW with mum other than having to stop every half hour while she had a smoke.
Dad was born the year Peter pan came out, he has the castle tattooed on his arm with Mickey in the doorway and Peter Pan, Hook, Tink flying over. His favourite song is Second Star to the right and the meaning is lovely. We do talk about what if often as I am his only next of kin. He wants me to smuggle a little of him into IASW and a little under the Las Vegas sign (we go to vegas too). The rest he wants put into a firework.
Makes me teary just thinking about it, we talk about Disney everyday, couldn't imagine not.

 

[ajrwdwgirl]

I can understand not staying at the Poly, but perhaps they should have thought about another Disney resort. I'm sure going to the parks is going to remind them of their loved one anyway. I personally find it comforting to talk about, or do things that I did with my mom. She was the biggest influene on my life and it seems wrong or a little dishonorable to me to ignore my memories of her or not talk about her.

 

[bethymouse]

Stay on site, and just take in all of the beautiful memories. I know it's difficult. God Bless You and your family.