Hard time w/ canceling trip

[Hot Lava]

We had to cancel our trip b/c my dad fell critically ill and then passed away. Apart from the hard time I am having with that, it is worse right now b/c this was the time we were all supposed to be at WDW.

I came here b/c I no one in my life really is understanding about why the cancellation of this trip is extra hard on me. The attitude (especially from my husband) is, "Well, it was just a trip." Well, no it wasn't. Clearly even if this trip had been canceled b/c of weather or work or such, I would be more upset than him. But this trip was so very important to me and my father. I sort of understand why no one is affected they way I am; but on the other hand it is hard that no one else seems to realize why this was not "just a trip to me".

I have avoided coming here since it was clear that the trip would be canceled b/c not only was my dad too sick, but that he was not going to make it. I only came briefly to ask real mad hatter some bagpipe questions I had (for the funeral). Otherwise, thinking about WDW was too painful. It is bad enough to have to watch Disney Jr pretty much everyday.

But my son talks often about going to Disney and how grandpa is now "too sick to go with us" (we told him that grandpa went to heaven, but he doesn't really understand). And today I got an extra kick in the head when a reminder from WDW about a reservation was in my email. Do not know how it happened. Our TA canceled everything (including restaurant res) and I had previously checked my MDE account as well. The infamously glitchy MDE at work again, I guess. It didn't help that the CM I got snidely said to me, "Well, canceling your trip reservations doesn't cancel your restaurant reservations."

So I needed a place to come and "vent" my sorrow over my lost trip, where I knew there were people of like mind about WDW and would understand that even under less terrible circumstances that this wasn't "just a trip to WDW". And just people who would appreciate the importance of this particular trip.

 

[atsolomon]

I'm so sorry for your loss. Take your time to mourn.

I'm inferring from your post that your dad went with you to WDW in the past. When you're ready & you go back, I hope you will be comforted there by the memory of the times you went with him there.

--Adam

 

[Minthorne]

That sucks I'm sorry for your loss. Honestly - you should plan your next trip now - you need it.

 

[Soarin' Over Pgh]

I can't even read through your post. I'm so sorry.

I totally understand why you're so upset (and depressed?) over your 'lost' trip. You have absolutely every right to be.

I hope you're taking care of yourself during this... if you need someone to talk to, I'm here. I lost my grandmother ...it'll be two years in December... and it hasn't been easy dealing.

 

[Nemo14]

I'm sorry to hear of your loss - I remember when you were first planning this trip, and how important it was to you then.


As has been mentioned, you need to grieve and to take care of yourself. WDW will be there when you're ready to go, and while it might be a different trip than what you had planned, it will still be fun. Just give yourself and your family time.

 

[NYwdwfan]

I am so sorry for your loss. I cannot even imagine how difficult this must all be for you - there are so many layers to the emotions that you are dealing with. Like Nemo said - WDW will be there. And he will be there too - in your hearts. *hug*

 

[sxeensweet]

I am sooooo sorry for your loss!!!!! I totally understand the whole thing about missing your trip as well b/c even though it was for that reason that I hope no one ever has to do including myself one day, it still would make me feel even more sad/depressed on top of the feeling to losing my dad. Hoping you have some happiness come your way soon and also another trip for you soon as well!!

 

[CtDisneyGuy33]

I'm also very sorry for your loss. Its tough to cancel the trip I'm sure but when you plan your next trip to WDW, I hope you realize your Dad will be there as well in spirit. I hear that "The Love of Disney" is something you CAN take with you.

I know my Dad is with me always - including my trips to WDW. And these days, he's probably the one laughing as I'm the one with the sore feet

 

[epcotisbest]

We had to cancel our trip b/c my dad fell critically ill and then passed away. Apart from the hard time I am having with that, it is worse right now b/c this was the time we were all supposed to be at WDW.

I came here b/c I no one in my life really is understanding about why the cancellation of this trip is extra hard on me. The attitude (especially from my husband) is, "Well, it was just a trip." Well, no it wasn't. Clearly even if this trip had been canceled b/c of weather or work or such, I would be more upset than him. But this trip was so very important to me and my father. I sort of understand why no one is affected they way I am; but on the other hand it is hard that no one else seems to realize why this was not "just a trip to me".

I have avoided coming here since it was clear that the trip would be canceled b/c not only was my dad too sick, but that he was not going to make it. I only came briefly to ask real mad hatter some bagpipe questions I had (for the funeral). Otherwise, thinking about WDW was too painful. It is bad enough to have to watch Disney Jr pretty much everyday.

But my son talks often about going to Disney and how grandpa is now "too sick to go with us" (we told him that grandpa went to heaven, but he doesn't really understand). And today I got an extra kick in the head when a reminder from WDW about a reservation was in my email. Do not know how it happened. Our TA canceled everything (including restaurant res) and I had previously checked my MDE account as well. The infamously glitchy MDE at work again, I guess. It didn't help that the CM I got snidely said to me, "Well, canceling your trip reservations doesn't cancel your restaurant reservations."

So I needed a place to come and "vent" my sorrow over my lost trip, where I knew there were people of like mind about WDW and would understand that even under less terrible circumstances that this wasn't "just a trip to WDW". And just people who would appreciate the importance of this particular trip.

You are not alone. So sorry for your loss. I never did anything with my dad, even a game of catch. We were a pretty dysfunctional family I guess.
I can only imagine how special WDW trips were for you and him. I know it won't ease the pain of your loss, but when you do go back, he will be there with you in your memory.

 

[wdisney9000]

May God bless you and guide you in this time of sorrow. Take some time on your next trip to do something special for your father. Perhaps something you enjoyed doing together or start a new tradition or even just speak to him. He will be there with you.

 

[Longers]

Sorry for your loss and so glad you came to your extended Disney family for support. It is never just a trip to WDW so we all know how you feel. Take your time to mourn and then get planning and booking your next trip that is what your dad would have wanted and he will be there with you.

 

[LucyK]

I'm sorry for your loss and for your cancelled trip. I know how Disney trips can be important and how it hurts when we have to cancel them. Take your time mourning and when you're ready, plan a new trip and include something that was important to both you and your father, this way his memory will always be with you and you can have a special place where you can celebrate his life.

 

[Sparkle81]

I'm so sorry for your loss. It's completely understandable why you are so upset about the trip cancellation. Not only is it a very tough time coping with the loss of your Dad, the trip was symbolic for you too. It's such a shame that your family don't seem to be able to understand that very well.
Your WDW Magic family does though, and I'm sure that if you need to vent more, or you're seeking some support & virtual comforting hugs, we will all be there for you.

I lost my father at the age of 20, a month before I got married. That was almost exactly 11 years ago and although I still miss him terribly, I promise that you will be able to worth through the grief and adjust.

 

[ed_66503]

I'm very sorry for your loss. I lost my Mother two years ago and it still hits me every day.
Take time to mourn and celebrate your Father. Then take your WDW trip when you are ready. You will feel better that way
We are all here for you!

 

[Hot Lava]

Thanks, everyone. I appreciate it. I cried all through writing the post, but it is also very cathartic. I spend a great deal of time trying to keep an even keel, mostly so as not to upset my son too much, but also b/c so much responsibility has fallen on me now (my mom is not good). And just comforting that their are others that relate to the Disney part (in addition to the loss in general).

It does hit me at weird times. Like watching a football game and thinking my dad will be happy by that win. And then I realize that is not the case. My dad was a huge baseball fan. So I found myself obsessively listening to games on the radio (which I used to hate to do). It was both heartbreaking and comforting at the same time.

I'm inferring from your post that your dad went with you to WDW in the past.

Actually no. He wanted to go a few years ago with my mom - who had zero interest. My son was only a few months old, so I said wait until he was older and we would all go. I had actually planned on waiting until he was even older, but my dad's health issues made us decide to move that up. At the time we made the plans, his health was such that it was going to be more difficult to go around the parks, but definitely doable. Although convincing him he was not in condition to ride roller coasters may have been an issue. But other factors took hold suddenly this summer, and so no trip. So he was really looking forward to WDW for the first time, and very, very much looking forward to doing it with my son. That is the worst for me. My son was the center of his universe.

Like the baseball, being here is both heartbreaking and comforting. So I stayed away for a few months. Just being here at all is me inching toward the latter.

 

[Hot Lava]

I lost my father at the age of 20, a month before I got married. That was almost exactly 11 years ago and although I still miss him terribly, I promise that you will be able to worth through the grief and adjust.

I am so very sorry. That is very hard. I try hard to focus on the positive and all the good I still have. I know I am not the first to lose a parent, nor under the worst circumstances. Not always easy to see the forest for the trees, but I try hard to concentrate on my son.

 

[jkl2000]

Very sorry to hear that. I understand how having to miss out on a trip you were really looking forward to just compounds what's already a difficult time. As others have said, WDW will be there for you when you're ready and have the time. I'm sure that trip will be a bittersweet one, but bittersweet is ok, and part of life.

 

[Poofiesdream]

So sorry! My father died on Easter Sunday a few years back. We had plans to be at Disney with both my parents for Easter. Just days before we left he had a stroke and died. When we got threw with the funeral my husband said you and your Mother pack your bags you are going to Disney. With very mixed feeling my Mom and I went. There was a lot of talking and crying there remembering past trips when we were all there last. We just felt he was there with us looking over our shoulder. I couldn't go in his favorite show, the country bear's at MK that was just too much, but we did do some other rides. It is 7 yrs later now and I still can't go in the country bears but I have to say the trip there was good and Mom and I became closer.

 

[CheshireCat12]

So sorry! My father died on Easter Sunday a few years back. We had plans to be at Disney with both my parents for Easter. Just days before we left he had a stroke and died. When we got threw with the funeral my husband said you and your Mother pack your bags you are going to Disney. With very mixed feeling my Mom and I went. There was a lot of talking and crying there remembering past trips when we were all there last. We just felt he was there with us looking over our shoulder. I couldn't go in his favorite show, the country bear's at MK that was just too much, but we did do some other rides. It is 7 yrs later now and I still can't go in the country bears but I have to say the trip there was good and Mom and I became closer.

This choked me up...how sad but beautiful to remember the good times like that. Sorry for your loss and of course that of the OP too.

 

[LizC]

I am so sorry for your loss. It is unfortunate that your loved ones do not understand how much not going on this trip is affecting you. Of course, they are probably dealing with their own sadness.

My grandfather passed away a few months ago, and while I realize that is in no way the same, I do sympathize with your loss. He lived with us, and took many trips to WDW with me. From my first at 3 years old to the most recent, him being 101 and me having my own children. I am planning a trip right now and he is certainly in my thoughts. If you are financially able why not plan a trip a few months to a year from now? The planning may help you get over the cancellation while still giving you time to grieve for your father.