Giving teens their freedom.

[pauljriley]

My family and I are looking at visiting WDW next year. We are a large family (two adults, two teen's 14 and 16 respectively, and two kids 5 and 6 respectively), and we're visiting from the UK.

With two teens, there is obviously the issue of how to handle things if they get bored, we don't want their boredom to affect the enjoyment of everybody else, therefore one of our thoughts is to allow them their freedom to come and go as they please. This gives us an issue, if we stay on site, we can limit the area that they can roam to just Disney World, and not have to worry about them going to places we'd prefer they didn't go, or worse, that they get completely lost.

If however, we look at off site resorts we can reduce the cost of the accommodation, but we would need to know that they can come and go using local transportation, without too many worries.

So I open the conversation with a request for some advice that anybody might have.

 

[Disney Stine]

My older brother and I would go to the parks on our own starting at the age of 12 and 14. We had visited Disney World numerous times before that, never got lost, and never had an issue come up. This was also before kids had cell phones and we usually just left a note to our parents on the table in the hotel room to let them know we left (they let us go on our own because they wanted to sleep in while we wanted more park time).
I think in today's world it will be even easier for them to navigate their way around! If they have cell phones, make sure they have the MDE app so they can quickly pull up a map if they get lost.
Our parents always left some cash (again, before the charging to a magic band) so we could get some breakfast or a drink if the heat got intolerable. They embedded into our heads that if ANYTHING happened (got lost, got hurt, felt scared) to go to a cast member and not an adult visitor. Also, that I specifically, had to listen to my older brother when going out since he was being held responsible for me. With these guidelines in place, I never felt nervous or scared about going out without parents.
I think giving your teenagers this independence is a HUGE deal. It can provide confidence in their own instincts, help with navigation skills, time management skills if they have to meet you at a certain time, and allow for a way to no longer rely on mommy and daddy (especially with the 16 year old potentially going off to college in only two years).

 

[zurgandfriend]

We always stay on property and I have let my DS "off the hook" since he was 13 years old. We set ground rules such as no leaving the park we are in and no charging to the room, however there are times when mom & dad want to visit the country bears or hall of the presidents and son wants space mountain for the 6th time. We trusted him and he never let us down.

 

[BigRedDad]

At 14 and 16, I would let them come and go as long as they stay together. Staying offsite does not make this a cost effective matter. Staying onsite using Disney transportation is best. Personally, I think Disney is still one of the safest places to vacation. There is security every where. As long as you set the rules and they follow them, I would let them go where they pleased. Cell phones and check in times to be sure everything is OK.

 

[Seanual757]

As a person who lives locally in Central Florida and I know the Kissimmee/Walt Disney World area pretty darn good. I would recommend on-site accommodations if you want to let them go as they please.
I am not saying that the Kissimmee/Davenport/Orlando 192 area is unsafe but I will be honest there is not much to do if you do not have a vehicle to drive to places to do things, if you have to take a taxi or bus you will end up paying more than it would have cost to stay onsite. Now like any city you will always have the not so friendly parts/people but in general the area from 192 from 535 to Hwy 27 is safe and a good area, and up from 535/192 to International drive. But to give you a piece of mind knowing your children are safe and they will always be within the confines of the resort area on property they will always be with in a short distance of a WDW cast member if needed.
Plus the transportation on WDW property is very strait forward, vs. using Lynx bus service off 192 you could accidently hop on a bus that will take you off 192 up Hwy 27 to Clermont or the other way 192 into Kissimmee towards St. Cloud and if you do not have a vehicle to go get them if something like this happens it can put a damper on your vacation.

 

[Mr Toad]

I would say on property. It's just easier. We let our 16 DD go on her own last year. Our 10 DS was so jealous! She actually want her little brother to go with her!

 

[popcenturylover]

Wow, talk about the helicopter parent generation around here, eh? My sister and I (12 and 15 at the time) did E-ride night and all sorts of park hopping on our own when we stayed at POFQ many years ago.

Helicopter parents? Unless you have teens I would have to say that you have no input on whether we are helicopter parents or not. It is a different time than when you or I grew up. You have to check in with your kids & know what's going on with them. Granted you won't know everything but, it's good to have a handle on things by having them check in with you & have a reasonable curfew.

 

[Tom]

Wow, talk about the helicopter parent generation around here, eh? My sister and I (12 and 15 at the time) did E-ride night and all sorts of park hopping on our own when we stayed at POFQ many years ago.

Same here. Until a certain point, our parents enjoyed the same things my brother and I did. It only changed when my parents enjoyed lounging at the resort and pool instead of going to the parks.

So, around 14 or so, I assume, we were given tickets and free reign to explore WDW. I'm not sure if we had cell phones, so we just knew to head back before they went to bed so my mom wasn't up worrying. But we always got 2 rooms at POR, so we didn't wake anyone up.

Of course, my brother and I were raised as good, responsible, behaving kids.

 

[CaptainAmerica]

Helicopter parents? Unless you have teens I would have to say that you have no input on whether we are helicopter parents or not. It is a different time than when you or I grew up. You have to check in with your kids & know what's going on with them. Granted you won't know everything but, it's good to have a handle on things by having them check in with you & have a reasonable curfew.

Making a 17 year old check in and report back at Walt Disney World out of fear? I'm sorry that's the very definition of helicopter parenting. People move out and start college at 17/18. I did overnight camping trips with my friends, days in New York and Boston, etc. all the time at that age. My sister (18) just got back from a full 7 nights at WDW with three 17 and 18 year old friends. All by themselves and they weren't even kidnapped once! And you can't argue "it's a different time" because it sounds like I'm only three years older than your oldest.

 

[rucifee]

Making a 17 year old check in and report back at Walt Disney World out of fear? I'm sorry that's the very definition of helicopter parenting. People move out and start college at 17/18. I did overnight camping trips with my friends, days in New York and Boston, etc. all the time at that age. My sister (18) just got back from a full 7 nights at WDW with three 17 and 18 year old friends. All by themselves and they weren't even kidnapped once! And you can't argue "it's a different time" because it sounds like I'm only three years older than your oldest.

Uhh, 18 is not 15 or 16, Sparky. I don't think you know what helicopter parenting is, you're just trying to apply a label. Your 18 year old sister is legally old enough to take responsibility for the 17 year old which makes the scenario you mention fine. In years of maturity there is a night and day difference in a few teen-age years.

 

[JasonDeyoung]

My family and I are looking at visiting WDW next year. We are a large family (two adults, two teen's 14 and 16 respectively, and two kids 5 and 6 respectively), and we're visiting from the UK.

With two teens, there is obviously the issue of how to handle things if they get bored, we don't want their boredom to affect the enjoyment of everybody else, therefore one of our thoughts is to allow them their freedom to come and go as they please. This gives us an issue, if we stay on site, we can limit the area that they can roam to just Disney World, and not have to worry about them going to places we'd prefer they didn't go, or worse, that they get completely lost.

If however, we look at off site resorts we can reduce the cost of the accommodation, but we would need to know that they can come and go using local transportation, without too many worries.

So I open the conversation with a request for some advice that anybody might have.

We always stayed onsite and my parents let me and or my sister go off on our own. We did the obvious family stuff and time then say evening time we would go off for a bit and my parents did their thing. Worked out great. I wouldn't do that off site, there are some pretty sketchy areas just off site.

 

[CaptainAmerica]

Uhh, 18 is not 15 or 16, Sparky. I don't think you know what helicopter parenting is, you're just trying to apply a label. Your 18 year old sister is legally old enough to take responsibility for the 17 year old which makes the scenario you mention fine. In years of maturity there is a night and day difference in a few teen-age years.

I'm not going to make parenting decisions based on a government-defined age of when you're "legally" an adult. There are 15 year olds who are more mature than many 30 year olds I know. Like I said in a prior post, I was 15 when I started doing evening EMH with my then-12 sister. My parents didn't raise me out of fear and neither will I raise my daughter that way.

ETA: My point about the 17-18 arbitrary line was in response to another poster who described the restrictions she applied on her 17 year old. That kid is going to be COMPLETELY ON HIS OWN one year later and he's not even allowed to roam freely at WDW?

 

[Nemo14]

Making a 17 year old check in and report back at Walt Disney World out of fear? I'm sorry that's the very definition of helicopter parenting. People move out and start college at 17/18. I did overnight camping trips with my friends, days in New York and Boston, etc. all the time at that age. My sister (18) just got back from a full 7 nights at WDW with three 17 and 18 year old friends. All by themselves and they weren't even kidnapped once! And you can't argue "it's a different time" because it sounds like I'm only three years older than your oldest.

With social media being what it is, and the developmental stage of a teen-age brain, it's far too easy for kids to plan meet-ups with strangers they deem trustworthy, or make other equally dumb and dangerous decisions. Responsible parents of teens have every reason to request that their kids check in periodically - it's not being a helicopter parent, it's being a wise parent. You'll understand that when your child reaches that age. Trust me.

 

[Master Yoda]

Making a 17 year old check in and report back at Walt Disney World out of fear? I'm sorry that's the very definition of helicopter parenting. People move out and start college at 17/18. I did overnight camping trips with my friends, days in New York and Boston, etc. all the time at that age. My sister (18) just got back from a full 7 nights at WDW with three 17 and 18 year old friends. All by themselves and they weren't even kidnapped once! And you can't argue "it's a different time" because it sounds like I'm only three years older than your oldest.

The argument that it is a different time is quite valid. It is actually the safest time in human history and it continues to improve.

 

[CaptainAmerica]

With social media being what it is, and the developmental stage of a teen-age brain, it's far too easy for kids to plan meet-ups with strangers they deem trustworthy, or make other equally dumb and dangerous decisions. Responsible parents of teens have every reason to request that their kids check in periodically - it's not being a helicopter parent, it's being a wise parent. You'll understand that when your child reaches that age. Trust me.

And what do you do when your kid goes to college having never experienced any semblance of freedom? He or she will be completely ill-equipped for the "real world."

 

[Nemo14]

And what do you do when your kid goes to college having never experienced any semblance of freedom? He or she will be completely ill-equipped for the "real world."

Having sent both my kids to college, I can assure you that they were quite equipped for the "real" world and both are doing quite well for themselves.. Again I say, wait til you're a parent of a teen, especially a 14- 17 year old. That wholesome cute little bundle of joy who just adores you and your spouse becomes an entirely different creature who knows more than you - just ask them.

 

[CaptainAmerica]

Having sent both my kids to college, I can assure you that they were quite equipped for the "real" world and both are doing quite well for themselves.. Again I say, wait til you're a parent of a teen, especially a 14- 17 year old. That wholesome cute little bundle of joy who just adores you and your spouse becomes an entirely different creature who knows more than you - just ask them.

I never denied that she'll grow up to be a smartass teenager. My point is that whether she's a smartass has nothing to do with her ability to successfully navigate the treacherous journey from Hollywood Studios to Animal Kingdom Lodge.

 

[popcenturylover]

Making a 17 year old check in and report back at Walt Disney World out of fear? I'm sorry that's the very definition of helicopter parenting. People move out and start college at 17/18. I did overnight camping trips with my friends, days in New York and Boston, etc. all the time at that age. My sister (18) just got back from a full 7 nights at WDW with three 17 and 18 year old friends. All by themselves and they weren't even kidnapped once! And you can't argue "it's a different time" because it sounds like I'm only three years older than your oldest.

I made them check in not out of fear but, to make sure everything was okay. Things can happen. Not just being kidnapped but, they could get into a situation that maybe they can't handle or get hurt. Like other posters have said wait until you have a teenage girl roaming the World by themselves! ESPECIALLY if she's Daddy's little girl!!! Anywho, our kids are doing fine & one even lives in South Carolina. (no thanks to my so called "Helicopter Parenting")

 

[CaptainAmerica]

I made them check in not out of fear but, to make sure everything was okay. Things can happen. Not just being kidnapped but, they could get into a situation that maybe they can't handle or get hurt. Like other posters have said wait until you have a teenage girl roaming the World by themselves! ESPECIALLY if she's Daddy's little girl!!! Anywho, our kids are doing fine & one even lives in South Carolina. (no thanks to my so called "Helicopter Parenting")

Why do I have to wait until it's my daughter? Why is my own experience as a teenager myself an invalid basis on which to form an opinion? I don't even think I had a cell phone yet when I first started roaming the parks on my own. But I knew "if something's up, talk to a person with a name tag." Easy as that.

 

[popcenturylover]

Why do I have to wait until it's my daughter? Why is my own experience as a teenager myself an invalid basis on which to form an opinion? I don't even think I had a cell phone yet when I first started roaming the parks on my own. But I knew "if something's up, talk to a person with a name tag." Easy as that.

Looks like I touched a nerve?

 

[CaptainAmerica]

Looks like I touched a nerve?