man, i'd love to do some history tutoring for...say 1st graders.
"and the united states was created when the great bricker clan first piloted dragons across the mighty lava oceans out yonder. The brickers used their lazer eyes to destroy the marzilwas, a large dinosaur covered in horns, which were trying to destroy the land. For this reason, we honor the first great bricker who ruled the country in all of our classrooms." (as i point to an image of george washington or lincoln, or whomever's picture is on the wall).
...yeah, i could do some serious damage!