http://news.mongabay.com/2005/0903-croc.html
----That's our guy
The Amazon River Adventure Backstory
Guests are offered a leisurely cruise down the Amazon River, seeing some ancient architecture, and a variety of rare flora and fauna that can only be found in the area. But, there's one problem: scientists have just found one of the last ancient giant crocodiles in the vicinity. But is that going to stop Cannibal Jack's River Cruise Company from stopping all tours.... and therefore losing MONEY? Of course not.
This attraction will be a combination of the original Jungle Cruise attraction, and Universal Studios' Jaws Attraction. The same witty humor from JC will be incorporated into the script, keeping intact the most classic jokes, as well as some new jokes.
The pilots of the boat will be the Skippers, wearing the traditional costumes used in WDW. They will interact with the guests throughout the attraction.
Scenes
-Queue/Load
-Giant Butterfly Scene (From Other JCs)
-Anaconda on a tree (similar to python scene)
-First Croc Encounter
-Family of Jaguars
-Chirping Macaws
-Second Croc Encounter--- inside a temple
-Waterfall Scene (the back side of water)
-Piranhas
-Toucans
-Final Croc Encounter
-Unload
Ride Through
Queue/Load
Guests enter the attraction through an old boathouse owned by Cannibal Jack's Amazon Company. Various posters adorn the walls of the boathouse. A radio broadcasts warnings of a giant crocodile in the area.... everyone should stay off the river. Guests board one of the uniquely-named boats, and meet their Skipper. The Skipper informs them about where they are going on the tour, and a radio broadcast comes on about the croc. The Skipper says that's just a hoax and the journey begins.
Giant Butterflies
The riders first come across a few giant butterflies sitting on trees. The Skipper says something like:
"Those butterflies have a 4 foot wingspan... that's 1.2 meters to you Europeans."
"These butterflies can be identified by their scientific name:
Plasticus mechanicus."
Anaconda
The boat passes by a giant anaconda suspended on a tree. The skipper says:
"That's a giant anaconda, folks. A giant anaconda can swallow a kid whole. Especially if they are wearing (points out what a child on the boat is wearing)"
First Crocodile Encounter
The first encounter with the giant crocodile. The skipper will be telling a joke about some plant when the croc comes out of the water, jaws wide open, looking as if it's going to attack the boat. The Skipper quickly turns the boat, avoiding the croc's bite. The Skipper will nervously say:
"Ok, somebody obviously must be playing a prank... hehe.. did you say how fake that thing looked?....hehe?"
Family of Jaguars
A group of Jaguars will be seen, sitting on the shores of the water, looking for food. The skipper will say something like:
"Over there's a group of jaguars... they can weigh up to 300 pounds and jump 30 feet when food is present.... just like my mother-in-law...."
Chirping Macaws
A bunch of macaws will be seen in a large tree, chirping away. The skipper will say:
"Here's a bunch of macaws, members of the parrot family. But believe me folks, there's nothing Polly about them."
Second Croc Encounter
The guests will next enter a temple, with many idols of gods inside. The walls are covered in tree roots. The skipper will first say something like:
"That statue right there's name is Shirley..... it's a Shirley temple."
"This is gonna be painful.... it's a root canal."
As the boat continues through the temple, growling noises are heard. The Skipper turns on a light on the boat and looks around. The croc once again appears and attempts to snap at the boat. Once again, the Skipper is able to manuever around the croc and the boat makes it safely out of the temple. The Skipper will say:
"OK, this croc is the real deal. I better call base and see if we can get backup. (Skipper gets on radio) Base, this is Skipper (Name), there's a giant croc out in these waters, can we get backup?"
The radio will respond that all the boats are in, they're on their own.
The Waterfall
The Skipper, after just seeing the croc, thinks that they're in the clear, so they can go back to the tour. The boat passes by a waterfall... Inspiration Falls. The Skipper will say:
"This waterfall is known as Inspiration Falls, because the longer you look at inspires you to... go..."
The boat passes by the waterfall, and the Skipper utters the famous line:
"There it is! The back side of water!"
Piranhas
The boat continues on to find some piranhas leaping out of the water. The skipper will say:
"Don't you worry, these piranhas won't attack us. They're minding their own fish-ness."
Toucan
The boat comes upon a toucan sitting on a long branch. The toucan will be making a noise that sounds like "Look Out."
The skipper will say:
"Yes folks, the toucan can only be found.... Wait, what is it saying?"
Final Croc Encounter
The guests enter a large space of water, with no funny AA's or jokes... this could only mean one thing. Skipper dialogue:
"Well, we're almost back to the dock...Where's the giant horned frog? He's usually? (Growling sound) Oh no. (The skipper pulls out a prop shotgun) I didn't think I'd have to use this. (The Skipper slowly looks around, waiting for the croc to appear. Suddenly, it does, and the Skipper shoots at the croc, and it retreats back into the water.) We did it! No more croc! We're safe! We're going home!"
The base operator comes on the radio asking if they still need backup, but the Skipper informs them that the croc is gone and they're heading back to the dock.
Unload
The Skipper pilots the boat back to the dock, making a few final jokes while the guests are waiting to unload. The guests exit the boat and head back out into Adventureland.