-We interrupt this program for another New Orleans Square interlude-
The Haunted Mansion
Ride-Through
Park: Dream Disneyland
Land: New Orleans Square
Leaving the excitement of the streets of New Orleans Square, we come upon a more rural, wooded area. Wrought iron fences and well-manicured lawns provide a classy foreground to the grand, antebellum manor sitting upon the hill to our left.
With marbly white pillars, ornate balconies, and a small tower perched upon the highest point of the roof, this old southern plantation home has a stately presence. But there is something more here than a simple mansionā¦ something, perhaps, more eerie.
The abode seems to beckon us toward its garden gates with a spiritual pull. On the brick pillars of the gate sit fierce, gothic gargoyles, seemingly guarding the entrance to this mysterious manor. Below the statues are intricately carved plaques affixed to the brick, providing a name for our destination: the Haunted Mansion.
We enter through the gates and timidly walk along the garden path. On either side, we see the gravestones of many a previous inhabitant of the mansion, engraven with often humorous epitaphs. One such gravestone reads āHere lies dear old Dave - chased a bear into a cave.ā Graves for the long lost pets of the manor can also be seen, along with an old, horse-drawn hearseā¦ complete with a seemingly invisible horse. A large mausoleum is labeled for one āMaster Graceyā, and a particularly ominous tombstone reads āDear sweet Leota, beloved by all; in regions beyond, now, but having a ballā. Whatever could that meanā¦? And did the eyes on the face of that gravestone justā¦ blinkā¦?
After making our way through the graveyard and onto the porch of the manor, an uneasy feeling overshadows us. Perhaps venturing into this house of mysteries is a mistake? But before we can give that idea too much thought, we are ushered inside the mansion by a house servant with an ominous smile.
Entering a dimly lit foyer, we notice an ornate fireplace and, above, a portrait of a stately aristocrat, undoubtedly the owner of the mansion. An unseen organ plays a low funeral durge as we hear a disembodied voice speak to us from places unknown: āWhen hinges creek in doorless chambers, and strange and frightening sounds echo through the hallsā¦ whenever candlelights flicker, where the air is deathly stillā¦ that is the time when ghosts are present, practicing their terror with ghoulish delight.ā As the voice speaks, the portrait slowly decays until its subject is little more than a skeleton.
A hidden door opens to a tall, round room. We enter, and find seemingly normal portraits of different subjects hanging high on the walls between candle-holding gargoyles. āWelcome, foolish mortals, to the Haunted Mansion. I am your hostā¦ your āGhost Hostā. Our tour begins here in this gallery; here where you will see paintings of some of our guests as they appeared in their corruptible, mortal state. Kindly step all the way in please, and make room for everyone. Thereās no turning back now.ā
As our host narrates, we begin to notice something strange. The room seems to beā¦ stretching? āYour cadaverous pallor betrays an aura of foreboding, almost as if you sense a disquieting metamorphosis. Is this haunted room actually stretching, or is it your imagination, hmm?ā As the paintings stretch, they reveal the terrifying situations of their subjectsā¦ What seemed to be merely an image of a young woman with an umbrella turns into a frightening scene as she is perched upon a tightrope above a hungry crocodileā¦ What was once a picture of a single stately man is now a stack of men sitting on each others shoulders as they sink into quicksand one by oneā¦ An old lady with a rose turns out to be sitting upon a graveā¦ and a mustachioed gentleman seems to be all-too near a lit barrel of black powder.
āAnd consider this dismaying observation. This chamber has no windowsā¦ and no doors. Which offers you this chilling challenge: to find a way out!ā He lets out a mad cackle. āOf courseā¦ thereās always my wayā¦ā
With a crash of thunder and a chilling scream, the ceiling is illuminated, showing a long-deceased body hanging above. The light goes out, followed by the sound of broken glass. As the dim lights return, our ghost host reassures us: āOh, I didnāt mean to frighten you prematurely. The real chills come later. Now, as they say, look āaliveāā¦ and weāll continue our little tour. And letās all stay together, please.ā
Another hidden door opens up to a hallway, covered with cobwebs and lined with ornate wallpaper. To our right, we spot our way into the unknown. āAnd now, a carriage approaches to carry you into the boundless realm of the supernatural. Once on board, remain seated with your hands, arms, feet, and legs inside, and watch your children, please. Do not pull down on the safety bar, please - I will lower it for you - and heed this warning: the spirits will materialize only if you remain quietly seated at all times. Oh, yes - and no flash pictures, please. We spirits are frightfully sensitive to bright lights.ā
Our ādoom buggiesā move on from the hallway, passing by paintings which become more macabre with each flash of lightning, and into a classy library, filled to the brim with old, weathered books and marble busts whose eyes seem to follow us as we move along. āOur library is well stocked with priceless first editions - only ghost stories, of course - and marble busts of the greatest ghost writers the literary world has ever known. They have all retired here to the Haunted Mansion.ā
Our buggies move on into a room full of staircases heading to and from every which way, with ghostly footprints seen occasionally wandering up and down the stairs. āActually, there are 999 happy haunts hereā¦ but thereās room for 1,000. Any volunteers? If you insist on lagging behind, you may not need to volunteer! If you should decide to join us, final arrangements can be made at the end of the tour.ā
Leaving the room of endless staircases, we enter a corridor of doors, where unseen spirits knock on a seemingly never ending line of doors. Eerie photographs line the walls. āWe find it frightfully unlivable here in this ghostly retreat. Every room has wall-to-wall creeps, and hot and cold running chills. Shhhā¦ listenā¦ā
We pass a small greenhouse with a coffin displayed in the center, a raven perched upon it. A skeleton hand pushes up on the coffinās lid in seeming desperation, as we hear ālet me out, let me out of here!ā from within the casket. Just beyond, a clock with thirteen numbers ticks relentlessly, as a ghostly shadow of a hand washes over its face and an ominous chime sounds.
Moving on, we enter a circular room, where it appears a seance is occurring. In the center of the room is a table, upon which the disembodied head of a woman floats inside a crystal ballā¦ could this be the Leota spoken of on the gravestone outside? Floating instruments circle the room and play as she recites an incantationā¦
āSerpents and spiders, tail of a ratā¦ call in the spirits, wherever theyāre at! Rap of a table, itās time to respondā¦ Send us a message from somewhere beyond! Goblins and ghoulies from last Halloweenā¦ awaken the spirits with your tambourine! Creepies and crawlies, toads in a pondā¦ let there be music from regions beyond! Wizards and witches, wherever you dwellā¦ give us a hint by ringing a bell!ā
We exit the seance room and enter a balcony overlooking a ghostly, festive ballroom. An ironically lively yet macabre song resonates from the organ as a musical ghost plays a tune; ghastly figures feast at a long table; portraits of dueling ghosts come alive and fire at one another; and scores of spirits dance on the floor of the hall to the music of the organ. āThe happy haunts have received your sympathetic vibrations and are beginning to materializeā, says our Ghost Host. āTheyāre assembling for a swinging wakeā¦ and theyāll be expecting me. Iāll see you all a little later.ā
We move past the festivities and up into the creepy old attic. Cobwebs and spiders litter the cluttered room. Wedding portraits can be found all around, but they share the same brideā¦ with many headless grooms. A dark rendition of the Wedding March plays as we see the happy brideā¦ bearing a freshly used hatchet. She smiles and begins to speak.
āHere comes the bride. In sickness and inā¦ wealth. For better or for worse. You may now kiss the bride. Weāll live happily ever after. As long as we both shall live. Till death do us part.ā
Past the evil bride, we see a ghastly figure carrying a hatboxā¦ his head disappears, reappearing inside the box itself! Escaping out an attic window, we begin to fall into the outer courtyard. A raven caws, perched upon a dead tree. An upbeat tune fills the air as the spirits sing their ghostly tune. We pass many a gravestone with spirits lurching at us from beyondā¦ a merry band of ghosts play their instruments as a quartet of marble busts sings Grim Grinning Ghostsā¦ specters fly throughout the night sky. The ghosts let out their merry song:
āWhen the crypt doors creak and the tombstones quake, spooks come out for a swinging wake. Happy haunts materialize, and begin to vocalize. Grim Grinning Ghosts come out to socialize! Now, donāt close your eyes and donāt try to hide, or a silly spook may sit by your side. Shrouded in a daft disguise, they begin to terrorize. Grim Grinning Ghosts come out to socialize! As the moon climbs high oāer the dead oak tree, spooks arrive for a midnight spree. Creepy creeps with eerie eyes start to shriek and harmonize. Grim Grinning Ghosts come out to socialize! When you hear the knell of the requiem bell, weird glows gleam where spirits dwell. Restless bones etherialize - rise as spooks of every size. Grim Grinning Ghosts come out to socialize!ā
We exit the eerily merry graveyard to be greeted once more by the Ghost Host. āAh, there you are! Thereās a little matter I forgot to mention. Beware of hitchhiking ghosts!ā We see three ghosts, thumbs poised to hitch a ride. āThey have selected you to fill our quota, and theyāll haunt you until you return! We pass through a corridor of mirrors, showing us in our Doom Buggiesā¦ with the hitchhiking ghosts tagging along.
Past this haunted hall, we find a small ghost in a white shawl perched atop an archway. She speaks to us: āHurry backā¦ hurry back! Be sure to bring your death certificate, if you decide to join us. Make final arrangements now. Weāve been dying to have you!ā
Our Ghost Host leaves us with one last thought: āNow I will raise the safety bar, and a ghost will follow you home!ā As we return to the world of the living, we hear this haunting refrain: āIf you would like to join our jamboree, thereās a simple rule thatās compulsory. Mortals pay a token fee; rest in peace, the hauntingās free. So, hurry back. We would like your company.ā
And there you have ride-through number 3! Kept this one pretty simple, pretty classic. Now back to our regularly scheduled programming.
The Haunted Mansion
Ride-Through
Park: Dream Disneyland
Land: New Orleans Square
Leaving the excitement of the streets of New Orleans Square, we come upon a more rural, wooded area. Wrought iron fences and well-manicured lawns provide a classy foreground to the grand, antebellum manor sitting upon the hill to our left.
With marbly white pillars, ornate balconies, and a small tower perched upon the highest point of the roof, this old southern plantation home has a stately presence. But there is something more here than a simple mansionā¦ something, perhaps, more eerie.
The abode seems to beckon us toward its garden gates with a spiritual pull. On the brick pillars of the gate sit fierce, gothic gargoyles, seemingly guarding the entrance to this mysterious manor. Below the statues are intricately carved plaques affixed to the brick, providing a name for our destination: the Haunted Mansion.
We enter through the gates and timidly walk along the garden path. On either side, we see the gravestones of many a previous inhabitant of the mansion, engraven with often humorous epitaphs. One such gravestone reads āHere lies dear old Dave - chased a bear into a cave.ā Graves for the long lost pets of the manor can also be seen, along with an old, horse-drawn hearseā¦ complete with a seemingly invisible horse. A large mausoleum is labeled for one āMaster Graceyā, and a particularly ominous tombstone reads āDear sweet Leota, beloved by all; in regions beyond, now, but having a ballā. Whatever could that meanā¦? And did the eyes on the face of that gravestone justā¦ blinkā¦?
After making our way through the graveyard and onto the porch of the manor, an uneasy feeling overshadows us. Perhaps venturing into this house of mysteries is a mistake? But before we can give that idea too much thought, we are ushered inside the mansion by a house servant with an ominous smile.
Entering a dimly lit foyer, we notice an ornate fireplace and, above, a portrait of a stately aristocrat, undoubtedly the owner of the mansion. An unseen organ plays a low funeral durge as we hear a disembodied voice speak to us from places unknown: āWhen hinges creek in doorless chambers, and strange and frightening sounds echo through the hallsā¦ whenever candlelights flicker, where the air is deathly stillā¦ that is the time when ghosts are present, practicing their terror with ghoulish delight.ā As the voice speaks, the portrait slowly decays until its subject is little more than a skeleton.
A hidden door opens to a tall, round room. We enter, and find seemingly normal portraits of different subjects hanging high on the walls between candle-holding gargoyles. āWelcome, foolish mortals, to the Haunted Mansion. I am your hostā¦ your āGhost Hostā. Our tour begins here in this gallery; here where you will see paintings of some of our guests as they appeared in their corruptible, mortal state. Kindly step all the way in please, and make room for everyone. Thereās no turning back now.ā
As our host narrates, we begin to notice something strange. The room seems to beā¦ stretching? āYour cadaverous pallor betrays an aura of foreboding, almost as if you sense a disquieting metamorphosis. Is this haunted room actually stretching, or is it your imagination, hmm?ā As the paintings stretch, they reveal the terrifying situations of their subjectsā¦ What seemed to be merely an image of a young woman with an umbrella turns into a frightening scene as she is perched upon a tightrope above a hungry crocodileā¦ What was once a picture of a single stately man is now a stack of men sitting on each others shoulders as they sink into quicksand one by oneā¦ An old lady with a rose turns out to be sitting upon a graveā¦ and a mustachioed gentleman seems to be all-too near a lit barrel of black powder.
āAnd consider this dismaying observation. This chamber has no windowsā¦ and no doors. Which offers you this chilling challenge: to find a way out!ā He lets out a mad cackle. āOf courseā¦ thereās always my wayā¦ā
With a crash of thunder and a chilling scream, the ceiling is illuminated, showing a long-deceased body hanging above. The light goes out, followed by the sound of broken glass. As the dim lights return, our ghost host reassures us: āOh, I didnāt mean to frighten you prematurely. The real chills come later. Now, as they say, look āaliveāā¦ and weāll continue our little tour. And letās all stay together, please.ā
Another hidden door opens up to a hallway, covered with cobwebs and lined with ornate wallpaper. To our right, we spot our way into the unknown. āAnd now, a carriage approaches to carry you into the boundless realm of the supernatural. Once on board, remain seated with your hands, arms, feet, and legs inside, and watch your children, please. Do not pull down on the safety bar, please - I will lower it for you - and heed this warning: the spirits will materialize only if you remain quietly seated at all times. Oh, yes - and no flash pictures, please. We spirits are frightfully sensitive to bright lights.ā
Our ādoom buggiesā move on from the hallway, passing by paintings which become more macabre with each flash of lightning, and into a classy library, filled to the brim with old, weathered books and marble busts whose eyes seem to follow us as we move along. āOur library is well stocked with priceless first editions - only ghost stories, of course - and marble busts of the greatest ghost writers the literary world has ever known. They have all retired here to the Haunted Mansion.ā
Our buggies move on into a room full of staircases heading to and from every which way, with ghostly footprints seen occasionally wandering up and down the stairs. āActually, there are 999 happy haunts hereā¦ but thereās room for 1,000. Any volunteers? If you insist on lagging behind, you may not need to volunteer! If you should decide to join us, final arrangements can be made at the end of the tour.ā
Leaving the room of endless staircases, we enter a corridor of doors, where unseen spirits knock on a seemingly never ending line of doors. Eerie photographs line the walls. āWe find it frightfully unlivable here in this ghostly retreat. Every room has wall-to-wall creeps, and hot and cold running chills. Shhhā¦ listenā¦ā
We pass a small greenhouse with a coffin displayed in the center, a raven perched upon it. A skeleton hand pushes up on the coffinās lid in seeming desperation, as we hear ālet me out, let me out of here!ā from within the casket. Just beyond, a clock with thirteen numbers ticks relentlessly, as a ghostly shadow of a hand washes over its face and an ominous chime sounds.
Moving on, we enter a circular room, where it appears a seance is occurring. In the center of the room is a table, upon which the disembodied head of a woman floats inside a crystal ballā¦ could this be the Leota spoken of on the gravestone outside? Floating instruments circle the room and play as she recites an incantationā¦
āSerpents and spiders, tail of a ratā¦ call in the spirits, wherever theyāre at! Rap of a table, itās time to respondā¦ Send us a message from somewhere beyond! Goblins and ghoulies from last Halloweenā¦ awaken the spirits with your tambourine! Creepies and crawlies, toads in a pondā¦ let there be music from regions beyond! Wizards and witches, wherever you dwellā¦ give us a hint by ringing a bell!ā
We exit the seance room and enter a balcony overlooking a ghostly, festive ballroom. An ironically lively yet macabre song resonates from the organ as a musical ghost plays a tune; ghastly figures feast at a long table; portraits of dueling ghosts come alive and fire at one another; and scores of spirits dance on the floor of the hall to the music of the organ. āThe happy haunts have received your sympathetic vibrations and are beginning to materializeā, says our Ghost Host. āTheyāre assembling for a swinging wakeā¦ and theyāll be expecting me. Iāll see you all a little later.ā
We move past the festivities and up into the creepy old attic. Cobwebs and spiders litter the cluttered room. Wedding portraits can be found all around, but they share the same brideā¦ with many headless grooms. A dark rendition of the Wedding March plays as we see the happy brideā¦ bearing a freshly used hatchet. She smiles and begins to speak.
āHere comes the bride. In sickness and inā¦ wealth. For better or for worse. You may now kiss the bride. Weāll live happily ever after. As long as we both shall live. Till death do us part.ā
Past the evil bride, we see a ghastly figure carrying a hatboxā¦ his head disappears, reappearing inside the box itself! Escaping out an attic window, we begin to fall into the outer courtyard. A raven caws, perched upon a dead tree. An upbeat tune fills the air as the spirits sing their ghostly tune. We pass many a gravestone with spirits lurching at us from beyondā¦ a merry band of ghosts play their instruments as a quartet of marble busts sings Grim Grinning Ghostsā¦ specters fly throughout the night sky. The ghosts let out their merry song:
āWhen the crypt doors creak and the tombstones quake, spooks come out for a swinging wake. Happy haunts materialize, and begin to vocalize. Grim Grinning Ghosts come out to socialize! Now, donāt close your eyes and donāt try to hide, or a silly spook may sit by your side. Shrouded in a daft disguise, they begin to terrorize. Grim Grinning Ghosts come out to socialize! As the moon climbs high oāer the dead oak tree, spooks arrive for a midnight spree. Creepy creeps with eerie eyes start to shriek and harmonize. Grim Grinning Ghosts come out to socialize! When you hear the knell of the requiem bell, weird glows gleam where spirits dwell. Restless bones etherialize - rise as spooks of every size. Grim Grinning Ghosts come out to socialize!ā
We exit the eerily merry graveyard to be greeted once more by the Ghost Host. āAh, there you are! Thereās a little matter I forgot to mention. Beware of hitchhiking ghosts!ā We see three ghosts, thumbs poised to hitch a ride. āThey have selected you to fill our quota, and theyāll haunt you until you return! We pass through a corridor of mirrors, showing us in our Doom Buggiesā¦ with the hitchhiking ghosts tagging along.
Past this haunted hall, we find a small ghost in a white shawl perched atop an archway. She speaks to us: āHurry backā¦ hurry back! Be sure to bring your death certificate, if you decide to join us. Make final arrangements now. Weāve been dying to have you!ā
Our Ghost Host leaves us with one last thought: āNow I will raise the safety bar, and a ghost will follow you home!ā As we return to the world of the living, we hear this haunting refrain: āIf you would like to join our jamboree, thereās a simple rule thatās compulsory. Mortals pay a token fee; rest in peace, the hauntingās free. So, hurry back. We would like your company.ā
And there you have ride-through number 3! Kept this one pretty simple, pretty classic. Now back to our regularly scheduled programming.
