Here is the verbal tour for DLP's take on Splash Mountain:
The mountain exterior is a cross between Disneyland and Tokyo Disneyland's respective mountains. The queue is pointed to by way of several signs pointing out several attractions in the general vicinity. The actual entrance to the ride is a much more modest version of the barn seen at Disneyland. The sign showing off the ride's name is shown in the crystal-blue-water color font like usual. Brer Rabbit himself is shown actually inside the hayloft, rather than just below it, like so:
Splash Mountain Sign on Flickr - Photo Sharing!.
The queue itself winds through a critter version of the barn laden with portraits of the main characters in the ride (Brer Rabbit, Brer Fox, Brer Bear, Brer Frog, even Brer Gator) as well as various fishing poles and appropriately-themed musical instruments here and there. Dead ahead, at the end of the barn, which just points straight ahead, you ascend a flight of stairs to an upper floor transforms into a double-level tunnel chock full of entrances to critters' homes, complete with doors, mailboxes and lighted windows, with shadows of the critters in some of them. It is laden with small waterfalls (turned off in the fall and winter) and lights. Strewn about the queue are signs warning that you may get wet (shown in both English and French). You pass by a shadow of Brer Frog, speaking (in French) about Brer Rabbit's exploits (he is in his own home), supposedly speaking to some young critters. The narration echoes through the tunnel as you make your way through.
Eventually, you pass by a sign reading Mudslide Gorge, which is actually a large, dingy, dimly-lit cave with giant roots growing and twisting about the tunnel and above your head. Here, you find the double-sided logs, in which you go through your ride. It seats two across each row with five rows for a total of ten passengers. Since chilly weather is the norm in much of Europe, especially in wintertime, the safety considerations from Japan are used in France as well; the load/unload area, therefore, is once again indoors. Here, you see two last signs. One warns you about an impending five-story waterfall ahead and the other warns that this is your last chance to exit.
There are some differences between this version of the logs here and the logs of other rides, though, besides the capacity. The main one is that, rather than be just two large logs lashed together, it is several different logs lashed together like some kind of a crude raft, complete with a tiller on the log boats' sterns (it's all for looks). I've seen this in that Disney Mountains book and I think it should work. The other thing is that Brer Rabbit is not the only character sculpted into the bows of the rafts. Different boats also have in the same way different characters on the following: Brer Fox, Brer Bear and Brer Frog. Also, these logs have lap bars that keep you tightly inside the boat. Finally, there are also waterproof compartment pouches in the fronts of your seats for you to stow your belongings, should you have been foolish enough to bring any with you. This is your last chance to stow them, and you better stow them good.
The log boat then departs the station and heads deeper into a pitch-black cavern. What little light there was in the loading area is now gone. You hear the standard safety spiel, spoken first in French and then in English (in the same Goofy-type voice as always). Then you see, on your left, a little light where Brer Frog is. He is seated outside the door to a small shack in a rocking chair and smoking a corncob pipe as he alternates between saying some parting words to the guests in the log boat and proceeding to spin a Brer Rabbit yarn to a young rabbit and a young turtle. He says (in French), "Mark my words, that young Brer Rabbit scamp is gonna put his foot in that fox's mouth one of these days!"
Passing by Brer Frog, you make your way up a lift hill, which takes you outside. Here, you make your around the Briar Patch, found at the base of the main part of the mountain, Chickapin Hill, which is topped by a rather gnarled-looking old tree stump. This hill features a prominent waterfall that flows from a rather mysterious hole in the hill and lands in the briar-loaded lagoon down below. Equally bizarre is the occasional log raft resembling yours and full of people like you appearing on the fall and falling into the patch below by way of the waterfall. At this point, the song "How Do You Do" starts playing, as background music. It's the country-western style used in Florida and Japan. Also just like in Japan, the logs go in the opposite direction. You then mount a second lift hill.
Inside, you mount the lift hill, which is housed inside not a regular old mill like other rides, but rather a sawmill. As you go up, you see several logs, along with various logging equipment scattered about, such as saws and axes, no doubt the result of a major logging expedition. As you ascend further up, the mill somehow evolves into another cavern. You then level off from this climb and turn left through the cavern. "How Do You Do" sounds out louder than ever now as you make your way through, passing by more critter dwellings, including one belonging to a Brer Rabbit and another to a Brer Fox. Various owls pop out of their burrows as they hoot in time with the song's music.
Up ahead, there is a light at the end of the tunnel, an obvious exit. You reemerge into the outside light, much higher up than before and you make another turn to the left, passing by the mysterious waterfall that flows from atop Chickapin Hill. You then enter yet another cave and pass by one last dwelling, belonging to a Brer Bear. This character can be heard snoring away as he apparently is napping. The cave suddenly gets darker up ahead. You suddenly go fall over a waterfall in the darkness, which lands you in a lush, colorful swamp down below.
Here, the music of "How Do You Do" changes to a more lush, playful, orchestral style right out of "Song of the South" (and out of the ride at Disneyland). Up ahead, you go by Brer Rabbit, standing outside the boarded-up door to his home in the Briar Patch, knapsack over his shoulder, ready to run away from home and leave for parts unknown. Nearby are Brer Turtle and Mr. Bluebird, both of whom the rabbit sings his tales of woes to in his own version of "How Do You Do" (which is sung in French throughout). On the opposite side of the river, unbeknownst to the rabbit, Brer Fox and Brer Bear watch the predicament with glee from behind a tree stump, the fox standing atop the bear's shoulders and holding a rope in one hand and a hatchet in the other. They discuss (in French) plans for capturing the rabbit for their own gain. Meanwhile, unbeknownst to the two rogues, Brer Gator lies in wait, eyeing the fox hungrily. It seems he has a taste for fox, like how the crocodile from "Peter Pan" has a taste for Captain Hook.
You then go through a watermelon patch populated by various singing bullfrogs and past a sign reading "The Old Waterin' Hole", which has a strict no-fishing policy. But that doesn't stop several critters from fishing here, as they all sing "How Do You Do". You see several geese trying to fish while accompanied by more frogs. Yet all the geese can hook are old clothes and shoes, while the fish seem to smile as if at the expense of the fishers. You also see here Brer Frog as he fishes lazily from an odd vantage point: the back of an alligator, also fishing. A new character is shown here: a bear that tries to catch a fish by holding out his paws and looking down into the water.
You then go by the two bad Brer animals again. In this case, Brer Bear has stupidly sprung the crude rabbit trap. Brer Bear hangs up above our heads from a rope going up and down while tipping his hat to us. Brer Fox angrily yells at him to get out of the trap. However, the fox is standing a bit too close to the edge of the muddy riverbank. In the river, unbeknownst to the fox, Brer Gator lurks in wait for the fox to hopefully fall in so he can catch him in his big mouth. Across the river, Brer Rabbit is seen laughing at the two rogues' misfortune.
You then go below a trio of baby possums hanging by their tails from a tree branch above you, followed by four other animals playing different instruments: a dog playing a guitar (in a rowboat), a raccoon playing a harmonica, a porcupine playing a drum, and a bear playing an accordion. Following that, you go by a roadrunner perched on a rock. You then go hear Brer Rabbit as he taunts Brers Fox and Bear from a distance (and in French) that they will never be able to catch him now; he is heading for what he calls a Laughing Place. You then go below a railroad trestle, across which Brer Rabbit is traveling via a handy handcar, which he pilots across the bridge.
Passing below the bridge (and going down a very gentle spillway), you go by a tall pole with a variety of signs tacked on it and pointing in various directions toward such locations as "Briar Patch", "Chickapin Hill", "Thunder Mesa", "Ravenswood Manor" and "The Laughin' Place". The direction that this sign is pointing is the direction you just happen to be going. You then go by a Critter Elixir wagon, which sells patented medicines for critters, pulled by a most stubborn donkey and with a smiling bear at the reigns. The wagon is heading in the general direction of the Laughing Place, to which humorous signs point the way: "This-a-way to the Laughin' Place", "Bee-ware!" and "Grins Only". During this time, you also go by some hitchhiking critters, including an alligator with a guitar nearby, another hitchhiking porcupine, yet another hitchhiking goose and one last hitchhiking turtle.
Turning a bend in the river, you go by Brer Rabbit in a clump of bushes as he rolls around laughing his head off. Passing by him, you see what he is laughing at. Dead ahead, you see Brer Fox trying to push Brer Bear into a hole in the side of a stout-looking tree, with Brer Bear's enormous rear sticking out of it. A sign is tacked on the tree reading "Brer Rabbit's Laughin' Place" and a beehive hanging from one of its branches. The sound of buzzing bees can be heard as the bear says (in French), "There's nothin' in here 'cept bees!" Meanwhile, in the water beside the fox, Brer Gator is seen again, eyeing the fox hungrily.
Passing below the bear's enormous rear and the sign (the bear's back legs were perched on a branch across the river), you enter the tree and proceed through darkness. Suddenly, you spill over another waterfall, accompanied by the screams of the fox and bear. The actual scream during this time is an all-too-
goofy (pun very much intended) holler. You land at the bottom and wind up in a subterranean tunnel filled with roots, beehives full of buzzing bees swarming around them and shining diamonds embedded in the tunnel. The music has now changed from "How Do You Do" to "Everybody's Got a Laughing Place". You go through the tunnel and then pass by (on your left) Brer Bear as he rolls about on the ground with his nose jammed in a beehive, yelling in much pain, while, nearby, Brer Rabbit rolls about on the ground, laughing at the bear's misfortune with the hilarity of it all. Behind the rabbit, however, Brer Fox has raised another beehive above the rabbit's head, cackling sadistically.
You then head further into the Laughing Place, which appears to have been partially converted from an old, abandoned jewel mine, now almost totally reclaimed by trees and waterfalls and other nature, judging from the many tree roots twisting through the tunnels and various streams and geysers here and there, mixing with the mine. The song "Everybody's Got a Laughing Place" is now heard singing (this time in English and in the orchestral style).
You first see Brer Frog eating honey out of a smashed-open beehive as he joins in the singing. You then go by an abandoned mine cart full of jewels sitting on a piece of broken mine track. Various rodents pop out of this cart. Green, blue and purple geysers are seen everywhere, erupting and full of water. Some of the geysers hold up various turtles as they recline on them, while other geysers act like fountains as they burble and leap this way and that. You then see a turkey playing a guitar and two geese balancing on two items, one on a red mushroom with white polka dots on it, the other on a shiny green diamond. A spider is playing his spider web like a harp and a raccoon plays a banjo. Several small rodents pop up everywhere. A fox holding an oar rides up and down on a geyser. Bullfrogs are singing and spitting water into the river (turned off in the winter). Finally, you see a hound dog sitting in a spinning rowboat.
You then go by a sign pointing the way out of the Laughing Place. However, this route has been cut off by a rockslide and there is a second sign that reads "Detour" on it, which you take instead. This detour, however, says that it leads to Brer Fox's lair in Chickapin Hill. The cheery music fades out as, at the next bend in the river, you go by Brer Fox, who has captured Brer Rabbit in a sticky beehive full of honey. The fox looks at the rabbit from a distance, amid various nasty-looking thorns. The rabbit pleads to be let go, but the fox only laughs at the rabbit's misfortune.
Now the music changes to "Burrow's Lament". You go by a mother rabbit and her children as they prepare to have their supper, involving a giant carrot and a giant pea. The mother sings to her children of the dangers of the Laughing Place and how they should never go near it, for fear of Brer Fox. You then go by a mother turtle singing to her children of the same thing. Lightning flashes and thunder crashes now as you go by a variety of signs, which say things like, "Brer Fox's Lair", "Watch out!", "Time to be turnin' around" and "Don't say I didn't warn you". All the while, you also see several pairs of evil-looking red eyes peering at you from the darkness. You then pass below a gnarled tree branch, with two vultures dressed like undertakers perched on it. They taunt you (in French) of your laughing place as well as torment you of your misfortune (and Brer Rabbit's, too).
Passing below the branch, you start chugging up a hill toward the top, where daylight is shining through. Near the bottom of the hill, you see Brer Bear on your left. His nose is bright red (from the beestings earlier when the beehive covered his nose). He says (in French) that it was a laughing place, but he wasn't laughing, and that he should've knocked Brer Rabbit's head clean off. All the while, the dramatic music sounds out louder than ever. You hear Brer Fox saying (in French) that he will roast Brer Rabbit. As you go up the hill further, you see the fox's actual cave inside Chickapin Hill. Inside, Brer Rabbit is tied to a barbecue spit, ready to be cooked alive. Brer Fox's shadow is cast on the wall. Brer Rabbit replies to Brer Fox's threat that he can go right ahead and roast him, but then adds not to fling him in the briar patch.
Passing by the cave, you finally level off from the lift and emerge out into daylight. You are treated to a spectacular view of Disneyland Paris from up there (dominated by Phantom Manor and Space Mountain off in the distance). But there's nothing in front of your log boat. It has come to the edge of the mountain. The boat then points an outrageous five stories down the waterfall into the briar patch down below. Down you go!
You land at the bottom of the waterfall, splashing good, and go through the briar patch and slosh around through part of the Rivers of the Far West. The turn in the river then points right back into the mountain. You cruise along through the mountain's exterior for a few seconds as a country-western rendition of "Zip-a-Dee-Doo-Dah" plays in the background. It is identical to Disneyland's version here, but a lot more covered and very few spots outdoors. You then fully reenter the mountain through a cave at its base, passing by a sign saying that you're headed for Doo Dah Landing.
Inside, you come across various critters. It is pretty much the same scene as in all other versions of the ride. These animals are all singing of Brer Rabbit's triumph over Brer Fox and Brer Bear to the tune of "Zip-a-Dee-Doo-Dah" (sung in French). The music is heard in the orchestral style as in Disneyland. This scene is dominated by the Zip-a-Dee Lady riverboat populated by various critters dancing on it. You then go by two different scenes on both sides of the river simultaneously. On the left side of the boat is Brer Rabbit singing his own rendition of "Zip-a-Dee-Doo-Dah" as he relaxes just outside his briar patch home, where he hopes to remain for a long time. Mr. Bluebird and Brer Turtle are also there with him. On the right side of the boat is Brer Fox and Brer Bear, the fox standing on the bear's exposed rear end as he tries to avoid Brer Gator, who has got a hold of the fox by his big tail and what little of his toothy jaws are not occupied by fox tail is in a big grin. The poor fox yells in pain as he tries vainly to escape.
Further down, you see Brer Frog again seated outside his door in his rocking chair and smoking his pipe. He is finishing up his tale of the young rabbit and the young turtle. You then go by a possum, named Professor Peter Possum, hanging by his tail and showing off pictures from the final drop which Peter criticizes using LCI technology. With this, you return to Mudslide Gorge inside the mountain and the load area indoors and you get out of your log boat, meander through a cavern and arrive at the Briar Patch shop for more fun at Disneyland Paris. And there you have it, Disneyland Paris' own version of a classic ride, Splash Mountain.
Now, in the winter, most of the water effects will be turned off and the splash from the big waterfall greatly reduced. There will also be heaters/dryers near the end of the ride, albeit camouflaged into the show theme. But if worse comes to worse, we can always have the ride shut down for the winter months for a "refurbishment".
So, what did you think?
