Dark PerGron’s Reviews
Alright, let’s get back into this. First off, I sincerely apologize for falling off the last two rounds; between the holidays, a health scare, and just this time of year being tough mentally, I didn’t get around to reviewing the past projects. I promise that I will circle back and do those two projects when I get the chance!
Anyway, here we have a pretty interesting project and one I was excited to see what you could do with it. Hotel projects are always a challenge as they’re more intricate and generally less creative in terms of the detail you need to include, so I figured it’d be a fun challenge to implement. Add onto that the requirement for specialty dining and you’ve got a difficult challenge!
With all that, let’s jump right into it!
Team Legend- Universal’s Endless Roadtrip Resort
So Team Legend had the challenge that they were not able to utilize any of the resort properties you’ve done projects for already. With that, you settled on Universal Hollywood, which is maybe the least interesting or unique option you could’ve gone with, but a fair enough pick and I do think this one worked out for you. The original pitch of “Diners, Drive-ins, and Dives: The hotel” was funny and my 14-15 year old self would’ve killed for a Guy Fieri themed hotel, but I am glad you guys moved away from that and more to a more general and less meme-y theme.
I’m not at all familiar with the layout of USH, but from your discussion, the two tower idea seemed to be the way to go. I know y’all wanted some sort of multi-acre All-Star resort type of experience but I also appreciate that you scaled back and made it a bit more realistic with the tower approach. As for the artwork, it’s absolutely phenomenal. I love original artwork and I really appreciate that you guys did so much from the map to the logo to the concept art.
I’m gonna start with the rooms and work backwards to the restaurants and dining as that’s what matters the most. In the room write-ups, there were a few minor typos and placemaking issues and while they aren’t the biggest issue, they do show a little bit of a disconnect from the writer to the rest of the project. In one paragraph the writer says “the hotel rooms are divided into two stylistic themes” but in the theme styles section, there aren’t two but four. There is also a joke saying “everyone came to Orlando to see the World’s Largest Ball of String right” but the resort is in Hollywood, not Orlando. Stuff like this really doesn’t matter that much, but I do feel it’s important that when you’re writing stuff like that to keep it consistent and accurate. As for the themed rooms, they’re all fine and good, though I would’ve liked to have seen some visual representation here.
The activities and amenities are solid enough here. I particularly enjoyed the Elevator Antics! “attraction” as it would make the elevators a bit more fun and add a bit more enjoyment out of the experience at the resort. As for the pool, mini golf, spa, etc. it’s all fine and good but I really don’t have a ton to say about them.
Now onto dining! We’ve got eight very exciting dining options going on here so I’m really excited to check it all out.
We kick the dining off with Toothsome’s Top Floor Pit Stop, which I know is a
@TheOriginalTiki passion project. Toothsome was one of the early pitches for the hotel as a whole and kept being brought up, and I know the storyline is one that Tiki is excited about. I’ve not been to the Chocolate Emporium as the last few times I was at USF it was packed full and I usually ended up at Bubba Gump. Still, the idea is novel and interesting and I think including the character in a new style of restaurant makes sense to link the two resorts. I will admit, I don’t think it needed the Toothsome’s branding, but I do appreciate the wacky dining options that come along with it. I’m not entirely sure what “deconstructed biscuits and gravy” would be, but some of the options seem really exciting and unique. I’d be very excited to try a grilled cheese cheeseburger and steak and lobster tacos especially.
Thematically, the 50s roadside diner style makes sense for your resort and is a tried-and-true restaurant theme as well. The emphasis on neon would make for a more unique visual aesthetic to your typical 50s diner, but again, I think I would’ve liked to see some concept art or visual aides here to really hammer it home.
As for The Red Barn, while I do think it would be interesting to bring back a now defunct roadside staple, I wonder about the legality of it all, who owns the trademark, etc. That said, a fast food restaurant with a salad bar at a hotel would be an interesting addition and makes thematic sense.
That being said, Burger Chef fills the exact same niche as The Red Barn and kind of feels redundant. It serves all the same food, including fish sandwiches and burgers and I think making your own style restaurant in the vein of these classics but a single restaurant with your own name and vibe would’ve been the better way to go here. You also mention “flame-broiled tacos” which I can only assume is a typo as it mentions they’re similar to Burger King’s Whopper, and while it has been a minute since I’ve had a Whopper, I don’t recall it being all that taco-like.
Now I know you’re throwing me a bone here personally, because growing up, there was no restaurant I loved more than Bugaboo Creek Steakhouse. Like even more than my undying love of Rainforest Cafe was my undying love for Bugaboo. It served as my birthday dinner every single year up until it closed down and to this day the sign remains near me as the restaurant building was never filled. Bugaboo is a classic and I do think would be a fun addition to revive, something I’ve personally wanted to do for a long long time, but in the same vein as the last two, I don’t know the legality of bringing defunct restaurants back and I think you could’ve done an original restaurant inspired by this rather than the real thing. I also wish there was a menu here. While I know the menu items by heart, be it the snowbird chicken platter, the bbq chicken nachos, the buntan onion, smashed potatoes, baby back ribs, grilled rainbow trout, etc. I know most people probably aren’t familiar, so a menu would’ve been nice to have.
I’m gonna just level the same complaint about Pup ‘n’ Taco as I did about the last few restaurants being, it should’ve been one thing, and it should’ve been an original take on the idea rather than reviving an extinct restaurant. I know this one is in a different section of the resort than the two burger places, but I think one general “fast food” restaurant with a location on both sides of the resort would’ve been the better move in my humble opinion.
So now we get to probably (not probably, actually) my least favorite restaurant here being Showbiz Pizza, which to me just feels lazy, lazier than the other fast food places you’ve included. There are so many ways you could’ve made a Chuck-E Cheese style restaurant without directly recreating the restaurant that lost to and also bought out Chuck E Cheese. I think I would’ve rather you have just gone with a Chuck E Cheese, or just done a FNAF restaurant and forced it in somehow over this.
Po’s Chop Suey Chinese Restaurant sort of rectifies the issue you’ve been having as it takes the idea of an American chinese restaurant (my personal favorite cuisine) and plays with Universal’s theming a bit and has a Kung Fu Panda tie-in. I think this is what you should’ve done with the other restaurants, take that concept and make it a unique version of that.
Don’t get me wrong, I ADORE a good kitschy tiki bar, but Krakatau Tiki Bar is easily the most disappointing part of this write-up as it was only given a single paragraph with no menu and no real theme writeup and no visuals.
Overall, I think you guys had a solid theme here for the hotel, and the hotel elements were pretty strong, but the prompt had a heavy focus on dining and I feel that most of your dining was lackluster. A lot of it wasn’t creative or original and most of it felt like an afterthought. I would’ve rather had stronger restaurants and a weaker hotel element. It’s unfortunate because it was a strong showing in the beginning and with the Toothsome’s restaurant, but it just needed that extra umph that it unfortunately didn’t have.
Team Lore- The Grand Line Lodge
Alright, so we go from a theme that I loved and was excited about to one that was daunting and dreadful, but all that being said, I was shocked by how much I enjoyed this resort!
I make no effort to hide it, I am not an anime fan. I’m sure there are great ones out there that I would probably love, One Piece included, but the barrier to entry is just way too high for me to put any amount of effort into getting into a show with six billion episodes, thirteen of which are actually important to the plot. That said, I did watch the Netflix series up to a point but fell out of it, not because it was bad, but because when it comes to television I have severe commitment issues and can never finish a show. My familiarity with One Piece is minimal, but all that said, I think it would make for a really interesting Universal hotel.
Making this a hotel for Epic Universe makes a lot of sense and including pirate ships as a transport method would be a ton of fun. Imagine being a war criminal working at Lockheed Martin and looking out the window to see a bunch of pirate ships cruising the nearby canal, that would be a very interesting sight. And for the visitors, I know I’d be excited to be on a sailing ship headed to the park.
The look of your hotel seems really interesting, with jolly rogers and figureheads alike adorning the structure. This stuff would be very visually impressive and would be a ton of fun to look at, it reminds me of the trailers to The Force Awakens where we saw Maz’s castle with all the flags adorning it and how exciting that was to look at. The lobby and rooms are also really neat and I think the write-ups service them well as the visual markups do. The rooms feel very specifically One Piece and would be really exciting for fans of the show to visit.
Now let’s jump into the meat and potatoes of the project: the dining.
Alright let’s jump into Baratie, the main restaurant of your project and definitely one that is not afraid to shy away from the details. The architecture of the restaurant seems like a more tongue-and-cheek version of Paddlefish at Disney Springs which, whether intentional or not, feels very Universal. Poking fun at Disney in any way that they can that is.
The restaurant being a character dining restaurant also makes a ton of sense, the characters of One Piece are vast and popular and including them makes sense as meet-and-greet characters. That said, I do think you went a little bit overboard (pun intended) with the amount of characters you have here. I know you mentioned that you did that many for a reason and that the characters are popular and important, but even still I just wonder if that many are really that necessary. Character dining is already stressful enough as the characters always seem to show up at the most inopportune times, when I’m in the middle of chewing, but having that many characters roaming around, you’d be struggling to find good times to grab a bite.
I also think a few of the characters are maybe not super appropriate to have roaming around a family restaurant? You’d definitely have to change some outfits here and there and I’d love to be a fly on the wall for the heartthrobs round of characters just to hear the creepy middle aged mens’ comments to some of the characters. They’re creepy enough with the princesses at Disney, I couldn’t imagine how it would be with some of these characters. Really, I think the roster should’ve just been Luffy, Nami, Zoro, and maybe a few other Straw Hat pirates that people know. When you think of character dining, like Crystal Palace you get four characters, Garden Grill you get four, ‘Ohana you get four, etc. So like 4-6 characters could’ve been a solid amount. Then offer the villains as a HHN dining event and call it good. Maybe my fellow judges will disagree, but I think that would’ve been the way to go, especially for realism. Plus, this many characters and just the pay for the performers would bankrupt the hotel in a week lol.
As for the dining itself, the stuff I understood sounds pretty solid. Focusing on a Japanese style of dining is definitely the right way to go with a restaurant like this and other than a few weirder picks like hot dogs and burgers on the main menu, it seems like you stuck with that theme. My big issue here is I don’t really know what some of your dishes are meant to be, it’s giving me the same vibes as Galaxy’s Edge when it first opened going with in-universe names but not really explaining what exactly a Kaduu rib is and what it is you’re actually eating. While onigiri, croquette, clams, etc. are all self-explanatory, I’ve gotta wonder what “hummingbird roast” and “monster sandora lizard roast” actually are before I order them.
On the opposite side of the slightly overdone restaurant, we’ve got the clean and concise Devil Fruit Cafe. You definitely explained the lore well enough while also clarifying to guests they won’t actually gain any powers from drinking this. A smoothie bar makes sense and is a great addition, especially for a pool day. I also appreciated the graphics here.
Makino’s Tavern is an interesting idea with a “bar for families” concept, something when you first mentioned it I was pretty sure was illegal, but the longer you wrote, the clearer it was that this was a show bar and not actually a bar bar, so that makes more sense. Including a dinner show alongside drinks and small plates and appetizers is a cool enough addition, especially for people out there having a resort day instead of visiting the parks. Including extra entertainment is always fun and I appreciate the addition here.
Both teams had a tiki bar and both teams, unfortunately, kind of fumbled it. While I appreciated the inclusion of a drink menu at Party’s Tiki Bar, I do wish there was a bit more detail written up for it instead of the two sentences we got. Though a visual representation was a nice touch. Plus, the drinks do seem very good as a fruity sweet boat drinks type guy. I wanna live my life like Jimmy Buffett and this definitely has the menu to help.
Finishing up with The Merry Mess Hall, I think a counter service in a big pirate ship is just a neat idea. I loved the amount of detail that went into here, and while there isn’t a menu, you included enough food in the write-up that I got the gist of it. While the food may not be all that special, the theming and design here is awesome and I’d definitely pop in.
The pool, shopping, and wanted posters also help to really flesh out this project and this hotel and while I don’t have a ton to say about them just being that they are what they are, I’m glad to have them included here.
In the end, for the most part I thought the writing here was really solid and the idea, despite not being my first pick, ended up succeeding really well. When I put up this prompt, I never expected One Piece to end up in the final project, but I’m honestly glad it did. You guys did a really good job here.
In the end, both teams had their ups and downs, but I liked a lot of both projects, so this will be a difficult decision. Great job everyone!
