Bus etiquette

[Tigger1988]

I've used the buses holding sleeping children many times (my own when they were younger, and nieces, nephews, cousins, etc over the years). Each time I made the decision to walk onto those crowded buses, knowing I could be standing for 30 minutes with a child in my arms, I took full responsibility for that decision. I have never had the nerve to feel entitled to someone else's seat when they've been waiting in line longer than I have, regardless of how able-bodied they are and how uncomfortable I am. In fact, anytime I've gone on a bus with a sleeping child in my arms I have purposely avoided looking at the people in the seats, because I don't want them to feel obligated to give up their seat for me. They were there first, they can have their seat! Sometimes people have insisted on giving up their seat for me (if I have a sleeping kid) because they are chivalrous and kind-hearted. I always show plenty of gratitude because they were not under any obligation at all to do that for me. I am capable of waiting for the next bus, I am capable of exiting the park during a time when the buses are half empty, and I am also capable of calling a cab. If I make the decision to enter a crowded bus during the busiest time of the night with a sleeping kid, then that's on me!

I find it annoying when other people who make the decision to enter a crowded bus feel that the people who were lucky enough to get seats should have to pay the price for their poor choice and stand up on their behalf. That "entitlement" attitude drives me insane.

One demographic I would gladly hand my seat over to is a young, tired kid. They didn't make the choice to stay in the parks all day long, and they didn't make the choice to walk onto a packed bus. That was the result of their parents' poor planning, and I'm not going to hold them accountable for that. They can have my seat.

All of this. Also it's a bit disturbing that people keep saying "karma" is going to somehow hurt the people who choose to stay in their seat. If I am one day unable to stand on a bus I will take responsibility for myself and rent a car or take a cab. It's really that simple.

 

[flynnibus]

Also it's a bit disturbing that people keep saying "karma" is going to somehow hurt the people who choose to stay in their seat. If I am one day unable to stand on a bus I will take responsibility for myself and rent a car or take a cab. It's really that simple.

You miss the point entirely - it's not about sitting in a seat or not. It's about being people being ambivalent about people and needs around you. When you put blinders on and ignore those around you - don't be upset when people don't go out their way to help you.

Self-centered people expect the world to bend to them, but think it a burden if they were to go out of their way to help someone else.

It's not about 'Who needs the seat the most' - it's about being selfless and offering assistance to people you don't really owe anything too.

Its this 'what have you done for me' attitude before even considering offering assistance is part of the erosion of society that we have with the self-centered generations coming up now.

 

[EpcoTim]

You miss the point entirely - it's not about sitting in a seat or not. It's about being people being ambivalent about people and needs around you. When you put blinders on and ignore those around you - don't be upset when people don't go out their way to help you.

Self-centered people expect the world to bend to them, but think it a burden if they were to go out of their way to help someone else.

It's not about 'Who needs the seat the most' - it's about being selfless and offering assistance to people you don't really owe anything too.

Its this 'what have you done for me' attitude before even considering offering assistance is part of the erosion of society that we have with the self-centered generations coming up now.

I know what you're saying here and I agree to a point, but there is a line drawn somewhere. The problem lies not with the people who are sitting, I believe, but, like Laura said, those who just expect it. Elderly woman on the bus after a long day at the parks, sure, take my seat, I don't know you, but that fact that you're here and enduring, I can respect that. Quiet single mom, holding her kid and standing patiently, same thing.

Now toss in the family with three brat kids who are all making a scene about having to stand, mother included-who decides to start laying into those sitting because her 6 year old has nowhere to sit and how this is supposed to be a special vacation for him, well, lady, I hope we make a few quick stops on this trip.

So, am I a bad guy for not giving the seat to the woman who is openly telling people how awful they are for not giving their seats to her and her kids? Am I selfish for taking joy in the fact that this loudmouth has to stand up while her disgusting kids run around smacking and touching people on the bus who want nothing to do with them? Maybe I am. Maybe I'm also terrible for taking joy in not giving this woman something she feels she deserves, even though she has no right to expect that. Wal-Mart behaviour aside, had this same woman politely asked if her or her kid could sit down, sure, then take my seat. If you feel strongly enough to ask for it and can do so in a civilized manner than I have no problem helping out. The problem is with those who expect a seat. It's like rewarding them for being trash, just giving them something they think is theirs, when in fact its really not. I like to help out, but help in the sense that its an unwelcomed surprise, not that I owe it to you.

 

[flynnibus]

I know what you're saying here and I agree to a point, but there is a line drawn somewhere. The problem lies not with the people who are sitting, I believe, but, like Laura said, those who just expect it

That is a different discussion entirely really. The attitude in question in the quoted context was not about those that are undeserving, but about those that are selfish and blind to the common good.

I agree, those that come on with 'the world owes me' are really just the same selfish people just on the other side of the chair (standing instead of sitting).

In a world where we are each good neighbors, I will give to you when in need, and you will give to me in need. If you aren't in need, you aren't asking or demanding because you know yourself you are not in need, and there may be others that are.

The self-centered manifest themselves in all types of manners.. me first, driving dangerous to save 5 seconds, taking advantage of leeway, not assisting, etc.

 

[EpcoTim]

But thats the thing, you cant always tell when a person is in need. Yes, it is obvious sometimes and to those folks there should be zero hesitation to help them out. But you don't always know. But, there are civilized means of letting others know that assistance would be appreciated. I strongly believe in the common good, but like you pointed out with your both sides of the fence comment, most others don't see it. They have their seat, they paid to be at Disney, its theirs, end of story. The woman standing and trying to belittle the whole bus for not giving her a seat, same boat. She thinks it hers and so does the guy in the seat. They deserve each other. They can and will argue in line at wal mart for the 49 dollar Exios Tablet that they will also throw away in a few weeks.

The sad part is when you mix in people who do care with those who don't. You give your seat to a woman you think is in need and then she turns around to the guy seated behind her and tells him he's a jerk for not letting her kid sit there. Now in your moment of trying to do good, you just ruined this poor guys bus trip. And he may or may not be a caring individual, he may or may not have a disability that doesn't allow him to stand. You don't know. And so it goes in this situation. A random act of kindness to one may turn anothers day into a nightmare. It's sad, but we live in a Wal-Mart world. Give me this and give me that, and now that you've given that to me I want more. Your honorable actions are most likely not seen as honorable to those you bestow them upon. They are merely seen as something you owe them. Like I said, there is a line somewhere, the question -and a personal one at that- is where exactly that line stands.

 

[Paul G.]

So is there anyone you ever give your seat up for? Or is it first come, first serve regardless of the situation. We've had mixed reactions while carrying our sleeping kids where some people will be kind and offer their seats and then some others will just keep their seats and make you hold your child and stand up the entire trip back to the resort. We'll never complain, but it is nice when some people recognize the situation and are helpful.

We always make our kids double up on one seat and my wife and I always give up our seats to parents with young children or the elderly.

 

[C&D]

The bus spiel even suggests offering seats to people in need; just do it. How you determine, in need, is your business and your conscious.

 

[WI DISNEY FAN]

I will offer my seat to others on the bus. I consider it just being polite. I find most people are extremly grateful and appreciative. I have never been asked for my seat but would probably give it if asked.

 

[71dsp]

You give your seat to a woman you think is in need and then she turns around to the guy seated behind her and tells him he's a jerk for not letting her kid sit there. Now in your moment of trying to do good, you just ruined this poor guys bus trip.

I think your logic is a little flawed. Seems to me the real problem in the situation above is the woman in question, not the person who gave up their seat. How can you say that the person that gave up their seat "ruined" the trip for the other guy? That makes zero sense to me.