Can't give you a great all-encompassing answer. Sorry. What I would say is, since you're going BEFORE her birthday, try not to make it a big deal about it being a birthday trip. If your daughter doesn't go up to people and say "It's my BIRTHDAY" then really, who's going to know?
If you DO want to do something birthdayish, I'd say when you go to a restaurant, take your waiter aside and say "Her birthday is next week, and we're here in lieu of a birthday party. Any way we can do a little birthday treat for her?" I'd bet something could be arranged.
Ponder this itinerary:
Set up your vacation so that her birthday is on the last night you're staying at Disney World. If they're not checking her ID, just go to a park during the day and do NOT make a big deal about it being her birthday. BUT...that night, go over to Fort Wilderness. If you have the $$$, AND if tix are available, go to Hoop De Doo Musical Revue. If not, eat at the buffet, then go to the campfire singalong. Something like that is a little more intimate and family friendly, and I bet they'd do a Happy Birthday singalong. Plus, after the campfire (weather permitting) you'll be able to see the electric water pageant in the lagoon, and they have an outdoor Disney movie, too. I bet a kid would have a blast doing that on her borthday, and if I'm wrong, remember, I'm on a LOT of medication.