A trip with just one child

[tiggerlvr]

Originally I had a trip planned on April to go to wdw for 5 nights with my girlfriend. Something came up and now she can’t go. My husband suggested me taking my oldest daughter (15) instead and turn it into a birthday trip for her. We would definitely have a BLAST. However my Mom guilt is creeping in, as I have 2 other girls, 5 and 10 that wouldn’t be going this trip. Has anyone ever done this? We do have a family trip planned for February 2020 where all of us would be going.

 

[MomofPrincessGrace]

Originally I had a trip planned on April to go to wdw for 5 nights with my girlfriend. Something came up and now she can’t go. My husband suggested me taking my oldest daughter (15) instead and turn it into a birthday trip for her. We would definitely have a BLAST. However my Mom guilt is creeping in, as I have 2 other girls, 5 and 10 that wouldn’t be going this trip. Has anyone ever done this? We do have a family trip planned for February 2020 where all of us would be going.

Do you have to tell the other girls where you are going? You could always just keep it as a secret between you and the 15 year old and tell the others that you are just going to Florida (no need to be specific).

 

[tiggerlvr]

Oh I could tell them We are going and that they will have their turn to go alone with mom when they are older and they would be just fine. It’s just me feeling guilty lol

 

[Tuvalu]

Your other girls will be perfectly fine when you are gone, and they will have their own “Mom vacation” to look forward to when they are older.

We women waste too much time fretting with “Mom guilt.” We need to remember WE are the adults and the ones who get to make the decisions. Your kids will still love you even when they don’t like a particular situation (for example, not getting to do what they want.)

Go with your 15 year old and have the time of your life. Leave the guilt behind. Mother-daughter trips are the best!

 

[LaughingGravy]

Oh I could tell them We are going and that they will have their turn to go alone with mom when they are older and they would be just fine. It’s just me feeling guilty lol

If you are going to say to them that they will have their turn to go alone with mom, that's kind of a big thing you need to commit to.
If you keep it a secret between you and the 15 year old, be really sure it won't come out in the future. Long term thinking here on both fronts.
If it's as far out as April, I would cancel it to firmly avoid any trouble and mentally use that money saved/ not spent on the April to enjoy and spend a little more on your 2020 trip.

 

[Model3 McQueen]

I'd say go with your oldest and have a good time. Just be ready for the fallout if the other girls get word of this How much do you trust your husband and 15 year old that they wont say anything by accident?

Also, at 5 and 10, if they do find out they may give you a hard time but they'll probably forget it fairly quickly. You're raising 3 girls - you deserve this LOL.

 

[phillip9698]

Do you have to tell the other girls where you are going? You could always just keep it as a secret between you and the 15 year old and tell the others that you are just going to Florida (no need to be specific).

That would never work. The two younger kids would find out and quickly.

 

[BASS]

So I took my daughter once as a daddy-daughter trip and left the wife and other child at home and it was very enjoyable. It'll be a bonding experience. Do it.

 

[jloucks]

Originally I had a trip planned on April to go to wdw for 5 nights with my girlfriend. Something came up and now she can’t go. My husband suggested me taking my oldest daughter (15) instead and turn it into a birthday trip for her. We would definitely have a BLAST. However my Mom guilt is creeping in, as I have 2 other girls, 5 and 10 that wouldn’t be going this trip. Has anyone ever done this? We do have a family trip planned for February 2020 where all of us would be going.

Nevermind the favoritism issues you will have for the rest of your life if you only take one kid to WDW and leave the rest behind. What kind of family dynamic do you have where you take wildly fantastic expensive vacations without any member of your family? Don't answer that, I don't think there is any way I could make it apply to me.

I am quite certain if I told my spouse that I was going to WDW, alone (or with a friend) it would go.... poorly.

I suppose most of that is just due to money and time scarcity. Lots of money and time and it would be fine.

Hey look, I figured it out on my own!

 

[JusticeDisney]

Gotta bring em all!

 

[tiggerlvr]

Thank you to those of you that gave me your honest opinions respectfully. I truly came here to get an idea if other people actually do this and if my guilt is founded. Obviously I will make my own decision in the end but appreciate the input from those of you who were able do so without being...well I’ll just l leave it at that or I’ll be just as bad as them. I’m happy to hear others have done this and it turned out wonderful. No need for more replies! Thanks!

And on a side note, my husband would be happy if he never had to step foot into Disney world again...lol. Been there, done it, feels like he never needs to go again. We’re just lucky enough to have a husband and father that would do anything for us, including encouraging our love for Disney world no matter how much he doesn’t care for it.

 

[Zipadeelady]

My middle daughter and I took a mother daughter trip this summer. My son didn't care and my oldest daughter was a little upset at first but came to terms with it. I did feel guilty at first but at the time it worked out that way. But whatever you do don't keep it from your other daughters, they'll find out.

Look at it this way, you can go with your oldest daughter now then you'll have your family trip, then in a year or two it will be your middle daughter turn for a mother daughter trip. Finally another year or so after that take just your youngest. You will get a whole lot of Disney for you AND a mother daughter trip with each of your daughters! That there is called a win win situation!

 

[Yellow Shoes]

oops--late to the game.

When you have 3 children, what each of them wants (and you do, too) is one on one time.
IF you can reasonably expect to take the others--if you can keep that promise--then definitely go. (and maybe one of them will opt for something else--a concert or trip somewhere else)
15 year old girls are tricky. It would probably do both of you a lot of good to get to know each other better in a neutral and awesome environment.

You probably know by now that kids tend to have Really Important Conversations when you least expect it--maybe in line for FoP?

 

[Darstarr]

First of all GO! And DO NOT lie to your other children! I have three boys and take them all individually when ever I can. Last December I pulled my youngest out of school for a couple of days (shhh) and we went to Universal because he is a big Harry Potter fan. Over Easter break I took him to WDW (my oldest was at college and my middle had lax). My middle son did a lacrosse camp in Vero Beach last year then I took him to WDW for a couple of days. When my oldest was college hunting in Florida we stayed in Disney in between school visits. These were great times with one on one mother son bonding. If your husband is on board then do it.

 

[eliza61nyc]

I'm also in the camp of Go.

I have 3 boys and they learned a long time ago that "fair" does not mean every one gets to do the same thing at the same time. I have taken my sons on separate trips many many times not specifically to disney but a lot of other places.

and I do not agree that it causes "favoritism" but my mother who had 4 use to always say when asked, her favorite kid was " whichever one isn't driving me crazy at the time"

Actually I think it helps because I never had to hear "well Joshua got to go" or "jamie got to do xyz", so why can't I.

I also agree that if you are going to tell your other daughters that they will have their chance to go alone with you, you commit to it.

As for family dynamics, lol Pfhh, that's nonsense. never caused a problem in my family or with any of my siblings. In fact my brothers rejoiced when the "womenfolk' left the house.

Go for it!

 

[Gitson Shiggles]

I say in jest that you ought to weigh out the cost of this trip with the cost of therapy your other children will need.

That aside, I would take advantage of the unique opportunity, as long as there’s something comparable you could do with your other children individually at about that age. Consider this the start of a tradition and a rite of passage for them.

 

[thomas998]

I've done it with different kids over the years, sometimes because one was just too young to go, other times because one had other school activities that they didn't want to miss. I think you are making this into a bigger deal than it is. Unless your oldest daughter just starts trying to rub it in the face of the other two it shouldn't be that big of a deal... Though I wouldn't say it was for her birthday, as doing that only sets up each of your other daughter to expect the same thing on their next birthday or on their 15th birthday, which might not be something you want them to expect.... Simply saying you had planned to go with whoever the girlfriend was and after she backed out you didn't want to waste the ticket and reservations you already had meant you needed to take someone else... You can then just say the ticket was for an adult so it wouldn't work for the 5 year old and the 15 year old was picked because she was the oldest.

 

[I'mwatchinguWizowski]

Make it a birthday thing for them to look forward to when they turn 15 and it can become a tradition for some great bonding time!

 

[JIMINYCR]

We never had to do this because DW was an only child. But coming from a family with multiple children of varying ages, we learned that sometimes choices were made in certain circumstances and children had to wait their turns. I dont see any harm going with your child by explaining to the others that their turn will come. Just make sure you dont forget to give them their turns because they will never forget.

 

[StarWarsGirl]

Okay, just my perspective here from being the oldest daughter...please just take your daughter to WDW. That's partially me saying that because I would have loved to do a trip with my mom sans my father and brother (actually, still would...). But here's the thing: all kids need quality 1:1 time with their parents, especially moms and daughters. That can be a rough relationship, but having fun together is what builds the strong bonds.

Plus, she's fifteen? How many trips do you really have left with her? She'll be an adult before long and then maybe less willing and able to do it later.

The other girls will likely have the same opportunity when they're older. It doesn't mean you love them any less. It's just something special you're doing for the one that they'll get to do when they're older. Plus, they'll get Dad to themselves for a few days. Should be pretty exciting for them.