Here is a fun post of mine from March of 2002, What if DCA became Hip and Edgy... a true "adult" park...
First off, get THAT out of your mind... this is supposed to be a "hip and edgy" park, think "Spring Break"... if the folks at Disney skipped the "family" and went for the 18 and over only crowd. I will keep this PG-13 rated, and would really appreciate others to keep it the same... and this is "WHAT IF SARCASM..." and by no means the actual ideas of Disney, or anyone else except my warped sense of humor... (enough of a disclaimer, then place your Over the Shoulder restraints on and come on in....)
So, after buying a ticket at the main entry, with the BIG signs, FAMILY/KIDS, go check out DISNEYLAND, College kids and older, check out our NEW Disney's College Adventure...." (Very little change needed on the signage and Plaza)... As your Ticket /Pass is checked, your ID is also checked, and you are issued a wristband, with the official color of the day, 18 thru 21 (Better not even be thinking of buying a drink band), and the 21 and over band (Please spend all your excess cash at our bars)...
The entry plaza is now sponsered by Hawaiian Tropic, with free Suntan Lotion handed out by beautiful females and males in "beach attire" giving away free samples.... plus a couple of stands selling Jello shooters.....
The Sun Plaza has been converted to a "beach" including sand around the whole area, "Sun Lamps" for tanning whenever the park is open, lots of lounge chairs, etc.... plenty of "servers" ready to take your drink order (When they issued your wristband, a credit card was automatically linked to it, so order away...) Also, the dress policy at the new "DCA" is whatever you can get away with at the beach... aka dental floss
To your Left, Hollywood, with the revised Muppet Movie, with all the things you wanted the Muppets to REALLY say.... Plus the Who Wants to Be a Millionaire Show that is now sponsered by Jose Quervo Gold Tequila, and after every correct answer after 32,000, a "traditional" shot must be consumed, NOBODY will get to New York this way
The Goofy's Beach Bash area now becomes a Major Dance Floor....sponsered by Jagermeister...
Superstar Limo stays up and running, the best way to go thru it is after a couple of Jagermeisters..... NO change is needed after the Jager
BLAST is soooooo... appropriate now, College kids, College bands, though they have to add bathrooms to the Hyperion Theater, plus all the Beer vendors selling the wares during the show...
The Animation building stays, it was good as part of the old DCA, and still is good with the new DCA, even though the script is updated for the Lilo and Skitch stuff.... (Someone who has seen this multiple times can help out here...
It's Tough to be a Bug movie never runs, instead couples enjoy the "peaceful area and darkness, though when the seats "sting" people every few minutes, a few people gets their face slapped...
The ex-Golden Vine area is now a Hooters, and is the most popular place in the park, excellent chicken wings, etc... (and all the guys hang around here for some reason...)
The Mission Tortilla Factory and Boudin Bread place are sought out now, with folks wanting to have something to "soak up" their stomach contents, the places become SOOOO popular that an EXTRA fee is now charged to get the previous free goodies...
Karl Strauss buys the rest of the Wharf, and instead of a Beer Truck, it is now a Beer FACTORY, with plenty of beer brewing and selling going on....
Avalon Cove is now the biggest Bar (no more restuarant) in DCA, with the "Hollywood" doormen making sure you "meet" the standard to get into the club....
California Screamin' still runs, but with the special airline "bags" available now...
You can now get REAL Tattoos at Paradise Pier, along with Schlitz Malt Liquor, Mickey's (no relation) Malt Liquor, etc..
Maliboomer does offer the ladies a chance at a free photo, if for some reason their shirt fails to do what it is supposed to do.... then they are allowed to keep the photo taken at the top of the ride (when the ride seat stops, but nothing else, including your own seat, does....)
They CLOSE Mc'D's and replace it with In and Out... (My real dream for DCA)
As for Golden Dreams...They should have built the Circle of Friends in the First place, and who wants to see Whoopie without her shirt?????
As for the Jungle Gym area.... well, College kids have figured out fun in the past......
As for the Rafts, I still see late night commercials selling the videos of girls riding them.... it is amazing how the guys with hoses ONLY hit the women
As for Soarin', they placed monitors with the Jerry Springer Show as entertainiment while standing in the Queue, this ride is now TWICE as popular....
As for the parades, they have switched to a Marti Gras format, with parade floats and LOTS of Beads....
The company is overwhelmed by the additional sales of Jello Shooters, Jagermeister, BEER and more BEER, though sells of female clothing are not as strong before the conversion....
The NEW Disney College Adventure is a HIT!!!!
