In the late 1980s, CEO Michael Eisner challenged WED to design for Disneyland an attraction based on Disney Animation’s then-biggest hit: The Little Mermaid. Imagineer Tony Baxter was again assigned to lead the design on the new attraction, a true successor to the Fantasyland dark rides of yesteryear.
But where to put it? The Enchanted Snow Palace had taken up the real estate next to “it’s a small world,” and Dumbo’s Circusland had occupied the remainder of Fantasyland for almost a decade until that point. That’s when it was suggested, “what if Fantasyland had an entire forest hidden in plain sight?” Fantasy Forest was thereafter “discovered.”
Found beyond the outermost walls of Sleeping Beauty Castle and the tents of Dumbo’s Circusland is an area of Disneyland that transports us into an enchanted world, a diverse forest the likes of which we’ve never before seen. This realm brought together several of Disney’s most beloved animated characters like never before, including those from The Little Mermaid and The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh.
According to legend, Fantasy Forest existed long before it opened to the Disneyland public. The characters and creatures of Walt Disney’s animated classics - Sleeping Beauty, Cinderella, Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs - retired to an enchanted forest hidden away from the hustle of Hollywood. Walt Disney himself knew of this forest, and chose the site of Disneyland based on its closeness to the fairy tale knights, dragons and princesses of his animated canon. In fact, Fantasyland was built right next door so that his beloved fantasy characters could come and visit with guests as they pleased.
In 1990, the residents of Fantasy Forest gathered and made an important decision - they would live in secret no longer. They decided to open the bridge to their secret oasis and announced that it would be open to Disneyland visitors in 1993. Since then, guests of all ages have been able to explore the magic and mystery of the Fantasy Forest - an ever-changing hamlet of tranquil beauty and Disney’s wondrous nostalgia.
The Forest is entered beneath the tracks of the Disneyland Railroad and through a passage of magnificent springwaters and soaring rock formations. Waterfalls mark our entrance into a kingdom near-surreal and isolated from the rest of the Park. Small World Plaza behind us, we find ourselves in the shadow of these beautiful, supernatural rock formations - thundering cascades, shimmering rainbows, and lush foliage accent these mysterious formations designed in the not-so-subtle image of Disney characters - Cinderella, Aladdin, Belle, Peter Pan, and the Magic Mirror among others - an incredible effect that would not be replicated again until the opening of Fantasy Springs at Tokyo DisneySea in 2024. A magnificent wilderness awaits on the other side. As night falls, the waters undulate in an ethereal, otherworldly light.
A river divides the forest from the road we have taken and travels through the vast woodlands throughout, allowing the road to take many quaint footbridges and lush poolsides. Our grand-entry takes us first across an arched footbridge, churned beneath by a thundering waterfall from a nearby rock formation in the shape of an ogre. The bridge is inhabited beneath by none other than the troll from The Three Billy Goats Gruff, making this footbridge effectively a “Troll Bridge.” This three-headed creature might have a grim sense of humor and a big appetite for Disneyland guests, but don't be alarmed, he's just as goofy and ugly as the same three-headed troll once found in Epcot's Maelstrom attraction. In fact, he is the same!
In the endless acreage of medieval ruins and trees on the other side of the Troll Bridge, we are immersed by the orchestral sounds of European wildlife and mysterious music. It follows our journey as we discover a wooded “wonderland” beyond our wildest dreams. At any moment, one might expect a chance encounter with a fearsome dragon, or a fleeting glance at a knight on his galloping steed. The crumbling arch of a tower frames a “postcard view” of granny’s house from Little Red Riding Hood in a charming glen and - is something snoring inside? The very pavement in which we walk upon tells a story - wolf tracks, wheel lines, horseshoes, and dragon claw prints hint at the stories happening out of sight.
First we visit the woodland estate of Cinderella, located right here in the forest, where Cinderella lives with her wicked Stepmother and Stepsisters. The Pumpkin Coach is right outside the entrance to Cinderella’s Chateau. A hands-on training session with the Fairy Godmother will help us prepare Cinderella for the Royal Ball, while also enlisting the assistance of brave young “coachmen” and “handmaidens” to retell the Cinderella story through simple props and comical costumes. Cinderella is transformed from rags to riches right before our very eyes, and one lucky child will get to experience a magical transformation of their very own. A second Bibbidi Bobbidi Boutique can be found here, though here it shares the attraction space and name. Old Mr. McGregor has hand-grown the fruits and vegetables sold at McGregor’s Produce Cart down the road, a nod to the 1901 children’s book The Tale of Peter Rabbit. The faux vegetable garden nearby is ransacked by adorable Audio-Animatronics rabbits, with Flopsy, Mopsy, Cottontail, and Peter poking their heads in and out of every which way in the garden.
The Gingerbread House of Hansel & Gretel (Tim Burton’s Hansel & Gretel) is home to a wicked witch with a candy cane nose - and what so happens to be Fantasyland’s largest candy shop. Aurora’s Cottage is close by, where Flora, Fauna and Merryweather are holding a surprise birthday in honor of Princess Aurora’s 16th birthday. This magical “Sweet Sixteen” invites party guests to make birthday cards and greetings for the young Briar Rose. Although she won’t be awake for much longer, Aurora does arrive at the party, mixing and mingling for all to enjoy. Of course, Maleficent is not invited. Goldilocks & Co., with a clever logo in the silhouette of Goldilocks and her Three Bears, is found inside the cottage of the bears. It seems as if the invasive Goldilocks has turned the vacant residence into a pawn shop of sorts where she sells the bears’ belongings. Naturally, the “belongings” for sale are Disney Princess merchandise and the like.
The above attractions and elements opened with the rest of Fantasy Forest in 1993, the attractions as simple meet ‘n’ greet locations with interactive elements in their queues. When Fantasy Faire opened in 2013 as another simple, equally well-themed meet ‘n’ greet location, the Chateau and Cottage received a fresh new spin, creating hands-on, interactive experiences, as opposed to “waiting in line for an hour, meeting the princess, and instantly leaving,” as one Imagineer put it.
The Fantasyland Theatre was another Opening Day attraction for Fantasy Forest. The first ever Broadway-style theater at Disneyland, the Fantasyland Theatre is hidden between towering trees and tucked between lush waterfalls. Both the exterior and interior of the theater were inspired by the forest - beautiful tapestries and murals celebrate the woodland creatures and forests of classic Disney Animation, from Beauty and the Beast to Bambi. However, due to budget at the time, the theater sat long vacant.
The first major production to appear at the Fantasy Forest Theatre was Animazement in 1998, which replaced a long-running musical revue of Disney songs, a decidedly boring and not-so-enchanting spectacle for such a spectacular venue. Animazement brought together the characters and stories of the Disney Renaissance. “It’s a daunting task bringing all these stories together. In fact, it’s ‘Animazement.’” Animazement came and went, and in came Disney’s Aladdin: A Musical Spectacular in early 2003. The much beloved show ran until 2016 - a run of almost 13 years! - when it - actually, it’s still running today. The long-running smash hit of Disneyland celebrated 20 years of performances in 2023.
Inspired by “Alice’s Curious Labyrinth” at the then-new Disneyland Paris, Fantasy Forest debuted with Unicorn’s Cove, a labyrinthine hedge, forest and cavern-themed maze that would later inspire concepts for Beastly Kingdom at Disney’s Animal Kingdom, an unrealized land themed to the myths and legends of the animal world. The mysterious trails, streams and caverns ahead provide exploration amidst the fantastical settings experienced, with luscious, technicolor waterfalls, glistening crystal grottoes, and an enchanted spring for rest and reflection, the home of an encounter with the Cove’s namesake unicorn and the fantastic geysers that surround it.
Fantasy Forest encompasses a key location in every classic fairy tale: the woods. Tall trees provide a lush hideaway for those wishing to evade the law or the spiteful eyes of a wicked witch or stepmother. Trickling streams and miniature waterfalls roll along the side of the road, while the occasional cottage or castle ruin protrudes from amongst the tree stumps and tops. Two such of these fairy tale settings are found in a hidden clearing backed by an impressive mountain range with an even taller waterfall.
When Fantasy Springs opened at Tokyo DisneySea in June of 2024, it opened with two attractions themed to the classic animated film Tangled, the first was a restaurant, The Snuggly Duckling, the second a gondola ride, Rapunzel’s Lantern Festival. Both were built simultaneously in Disneyland’s own Fantasy Forest, a conjoint attraction and restaurant exclusivity deal with the Tokyo Disney Resort and the OLC, the latter who owns the former.
The Snuggly Duckling not only has a large tree growing into it, but also appears from the outside looking in to be slanted and sloped at an unrealistic, impossible angle, just like it was in the film. The watering hole of famous thugs and ruffians, hook-handed or otherwise, has a menu full of “dreamy” fare, from Duckling Dream Turkey Legs and Cheeseburgers to Pastrami Dream Dips and a live pianist for the evening’s entertainment. Everyone’s got a dream here, from the weapons lodged in the walls and ceiling, to the fliers advertising “Hook Hand’s ‘I’ve Got a Dream’ World Tour.” “Sounding Sharper Than Ever! Performing in a Kingdom Near You!”
In a romantic voyage through the blossoming romance and “best day ever” of Rapunzel and Flynn Rider, Rapunzel’s Lantern Festival begins outdoors under the shadow of Rapunzel’s Tower, where its namesake resident sings “When Will My Life Begin” from her opened window, both she and the tower viewed and heard from near and far. Previously this area in the Enchanted Forest was a water playground themed to The Little Mermaid and King Triton.
The voyage in itself is simple. There is no conflict, there is no drama. The scenes are gorgeous, faithful to the film, faithful to the romantic setting and elements, free of villainy, full of romance. It is in essence the heart and soul of the Fantasy Forest theme.
Imagineers long desired an attraction themed to The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh for Disneyland. Pooh had been a popular character since the publication of Winnie the Pooh in 1926, and a venerable star of Disney Animation since Winnie the Pooh and the Honey Tree released in 1966. Still, he did not make his debut in a Disneyland attraction until the opening of Pooh's Hunny Hunt in 2003.
Pooh’s Hunny Hunt brings to life the delightful tales of the “bear with very little brain” and all of his friends from the Hundred Acre Wood. Pooh’s Thoughtful Spot, a meet ‘n’ greet location and themed playground had opened with Fantasy Forest in 1993, and had guaranteed for a full decade prior the appearance of Pooh and his Friends from the Hundred Acre Wood with its slides, tire swings and familiar locales of the Hundred Acre Wood. Pooh Corner, which was later and conveniently attached to the exit of Pooh’s Hunny Hunt, is a charming cottage overflowing with charming British decor, baked goods and merchandise from all corners of the Wood.
Pooh’s Hunny Hunt was the first “trackless dark ride" in the world, debuted first at Tokyo Disneyland on September 4, 2000. It soon became the most popular attraction overseas, with wait times no shorter than two hours at a time. Its success led WED to petition for its addition to a vacant corner of Fantasy Forest. Management agreed, and with a budget of $130 million, Pooh's Hunny Hunt opened inside a large, cottage-sized storybook in the summer of 2003 at Disneyland.
In vehicles fashioned to resemble honey pots, we soon learn our vehicle has no visible track - in fact, the pots move through the fully realized scenes and pages of the storybook at a constant speed, independently moving, starting, stopping, dancing, reversing direction, spinning, and holding a mind all their own. In one scene Tigger invites us to bounce - and we bounce along with him - and in another scene, Heffalumps and Woozles transform our (and Pooh’s) flight of fantasy into a colorful, whirling, twirling nightmare. The still groundbreaking adventure is accompanied by the musical score from the Winnie the Pooh featurettes, and was incorporated into the attraction under the supervision of Disney Legends Richard M. Sherman and Buddy Baker. Richard, along with his brother Robert B. Sherman, wrote the songs and Buddy conducted and arranged the score for the original featurettes.
The whole reason for Forest Forest being is Under the Sea: Journey of The Little Mermaid.
Imagineers at first toyed with the idea of an entire The Little Mermaid land in lieu of what would become Fantasy Forest. At Eisner’s insistence for a The Little Mermaid attraction, “Mermaid Lagoon” was envisioned as an “underwater kingdom” to the northern berm of Fantasyland, concealed in a black-lit dome with an exterior fashioned to resemble the kingdom of Atlantica, and the dome’s interior as a snapshot of the film’s famous “Under the Sea” sequence, featuring carnival flat-rides themed to marine animals, and a “C-Ticket” dark ride as the starring feature.
When ideas evolved and other characters filtered in, the ideas were allocated to creating an E-Ticket dark ride instead, with a whole forest and lagoon carved around it. Prince Eric’s Castle and its surrounding bluffs, lovingly adapted from the film and set sometime after its happily ever after, became the second major castle in Fantasyland, and captured the royal estate in a slight state of ruin after decades of weatherwear. A sub-tropical lagoon sits at the base of a salty waterfall, with remnants of a majestic sailing ship strewn along its jagged rocks and shores, and, too, a full shipwreck in the foreground with Ariel as the figurehead. We enter a sea cavern at low tide and meander the sandswept tunnels and ruins within the castle. The ceiling of one such rotunda is graced with mosaics depicting ferocious sea monsters and naval battles, including one with a giant octopus that resembles a certain sea witch.
A song-filled “shell-abration” in a floating seashell (similar to Peter Pan’s Flight), our underwater journey takes us fathoms below on a tour of scenes from the film, including Ariel’s grotto and a graveyard of lost ships. Immersive effects and fully-dimensional scenes of song and dance recreate each unforgettable scene from the film that kickstarted the Disney Renaissance. Sebastian conducts a spectacularly realized “Under the Sea” sequence, followed by the eel and soul-infested lair of Ursula before her startling transformation into a gargantuan, hulking kraken amidst a raging maelstrom. We emerge from the depths in time to celebrate Ariel’s happily ever after in a romantic fairytale finale of fireworks.
Gadgets & Gizmos Aplenty is held inside an “above-the-surface” recreation of Ariel’s famous grotto, right down to the statue of Prince Eric and treasures untold strewn along its rocky walls. Ariel’s Grotto itself is in the cave nearby, the all-too-appropriate meet ‘n’ greet location for the Little Mermaid herself.
Fantasy Forest has a vast “nature trail” that follows along the backside of the railroad tracks and through to the other side of Disneyland itself, the southwestern stretch of Frontierland known as Folktale Forest. Because there are no attractions on our journey to this secondary fantastical realm, the beautiful streams, hills and trees are sporadically dotted by static vignettes of classic fairy tale scenes and Silly Symphonies. Here Humpty Dumpty is sat on a wall, not quite yet having had his great fall. The Flowers and Trees sing and dance, and the Cookie Carnival is seen at a moment’s glance. Elmer Elephant and Tillie Tiger share a kiss, the Tortoise and the Hare have their race, and The Wise Little Hen enlists the help of a reluctant Donald Duck and Peter Pig in baking her famous bread. Peter and the Wolf even appears in a snowy cutaway. Several other vignettes are also here, but it would take too long to name them all!
The Fantasy Forest Trail was added in an effort to round-out the entirety of Disneyland. Folktale Forest had long been a dead end, and foot traffic often congested in Frontierland and Fantasyland as a result. By leaving this remarkably quaint walking corridor intact, guests can escape the hustle and bustle of the rest of the Park and just enjoy a moment’s peace, with ample opportunity for seating and snacking along the way. As we draw near the American Folktale Forest, the vignettes transition from European fairy tales and settings to American, including those of Johnny Appleseed and Paul Bunyan. The figure of Paul Bunyan and Babe stand at 25 and 15-feet, respectively, and Paul’s hat can be seen from the Rivers of America!
***Next time: Tomorrowland!
I'll do a full breakdown of Fantasyland soon, including anything that might not have been mentioned, but woof, that was a lot of work to get all those sub-lands done and out!
I love the detail that Flight of Passage and the Guardians ride opened on the same day even in the mirrored timeline, meaning Joe Rohde couldn’t escape having to be at both premieres in one day in either timeline
Maybe because some of Indy’s adventures are set in the jungle.
I promised I'd be back! Backside of water that is.
Just beyond a bridge at the end of Main Street lies a mysterious world of dense jungles, exotic bazaars, and daring adventures. A land of reality inside a world of fantasy, our adventure begins on the edge of the rundown Paradise Springs, a decrepit settlement in the midst of a Forgotten Kingdom’s gargantuan trees, crumbling ruins, and dense rainforests. The crackle of Big Band and symphonic murmur of distant wildlife intrigue our senses as we near the ramshackle boathouse that holds inside of it the lucrative HQ of the Jungle Navigation Co. Ltd. The two-story boathouse, long battered by monsoons, sinkholes and earthquakes, once offered a safe trade route between the world’s jungle waterways and passages to the fabled Temple of the Forbidden Eye. Nowadays, it offers little more than “world-famous” jungle cruise tours, a fun but kitschy glimpse at the exotic wildlife and natural beauty of the dense rainforests and rivers that lie within its hold.
The Jungle Cruise
“Those of you adventurers entering the world-famous Jungle Cruise, please notice there are two lines, one on the right, and the other on the left. If you’d like to keep your family together, please stay in the same line. However, if there is someone in your family you’d like to get rid of, just put them in the opposite line and you’ll never see them again.”
Albert AWOL, the “Voice of the Jungle” hosts an ongoing radio broadcast heard through the dusty halls and walls of the boathouse. News bulletins recap the up and coming events in the immediate jungle; one such report detailing a lost film crew led by a “Skipper Felix.” Preserved insect specimens, ancient artifacts, detailed maps, and black-and-white photographs line the walls; dark “peek-ins” at various rooms allow glimpse at a cozy office and the crew’s quarters of the Jungle Navigation Co. where hammocks, unsent and received letters, dusty binoculars, and lone pith helmets act in lieu of interior design and decor. In one such room, the supposed library of the missing Dr. Albert Falls, we see one of, if not the only intact skeleton known of a massive “Snipe,” the legendary “Beast of Paradise Falls.” Most peculiar of all, however, is the encased skull of, what at least the plaque at its base believes is, a fearsome, prehistoric amphibian-creature nicknamed “Gillman,” a not-so-subtle reference to a monstrously green icon over at Disney-Universal Studios.
“I got spurs that jingle, jangle, jingle
As I go ridin’ merrily along
And they sing, ‘Oh, ain’t you glad you’re single’
And that song ain’t so very far from wrong”
The battered engine of the African Queen VI, the doomed airship of Dr. Albert Falls, sits in the heart of the boathouse, supposedly powering the fans and other utilities found throughout Paradise Springs. If in fact you were to trace the path of the connecting wires, you’d journey all the way on one end to Walt Disney’s Enchanted Tiki Room, and on the other the entrance to Indiana Jones and the Lost Expedition!
The music of the Swing Era leads our transition to an old boat landing, where tramp steamers, a la The African Queen, arrive and disembark from and for a perilous voyage down the “Rivers of Adventure.”
Across the river from the dock is an immense jungle, endless as it stretches before the distant skyline of an ancient city in the mountains: the crumbling spires, waterfalls and turrets of the Temple of the Forbidden Eye. A thatched-roof shack sits on the opposite shore, wooden grave-markers and a shovel in the nearby underbrush hinting at the fate of former passengers. At nightfall, with flaring tiki torches and dim gas lanterns, the haunting tonalities of the mysterious jungle evokes a sense of romance and exoticism. Once on board a ramshackle riverboat of our own, we are introduced to our fearless guide with, what else, but a one-liner: “Welcome aboard, folks. As you enter the boat, please watch your step and lower your head, and if you miss your step and hit your head, please watch your language - there are children everywhere.” Once our fellow passengers have filled the boat, we hear a hearty “HIT IT, SKIP”, and venture into the heart of darkness with the low rumble of an uneasy, perhaps water-logged engine emanating loudly from the center of the boat.
“Turn around and wave goodbye to the beautiful people back at the dock.” Pause. “You will never see them again. Then again, you probably have never seen them before. Welcome aboard the world-famous Jungle Cruise. I'll be your skipper, guide, snake charmer, lion tamer, crocodile hunter, and dancing instructor for the next five exciting days and six romantic nights. For your safety, please keep your hands and arms, feet and legs inside the boat, and please, watch your kids - because I won’t, and the man-eating leeches underwater certainly will.”
Our boat has entered a mystical, surreal stretch of the rainforest. A flowered canopy shelters our boat from the elements, covered in vibrant blossoms and strange, mysterious vines, laden with fireflies at night. A gentle mist trickles from the arched canopy in a refreshing breeze, beautiful and mesmerizing amidst the warble of an enchanting, musical flute. Butterflies as large as seagulls and watchful toucans appear in the surrounding foliage, a subtle compliment to a pair of water buffalo that observe the action through the thicket, one half-submerged near the shore. “Around us now is a lush, tropical rainforest where it rains 365 days a year. In some years, it rains every day! Here we see here exotic birds and huge, colorful butterflies, genus name Plasticus Mechanicus.” The canopy parts, revealing the gentle, crystal cascades of Inspiration Falls, right beneath the shadow of the impressive Adventureland Treehouse and an overhung tree sloth. A family of comical bullfrogs, as big as bulldogs, sit opposite the falls, two croaking adults and three chirping juveniles. Our skipper slows for a moment, fishing for an “ooh” and an “awe.” “This is Inspiration Falls. We call it Inspiration Falls because it inspires us to go…” Our skipper pauses and clutches his waist as if to need a restroom break. “Deeper and deeper into the jungle.”
The rainforest bleeds into the white, sandy shores near a Crashed Biplane lodged between two trees. Its skeletal pilot, clad in vintage aviation gear, sits slumped backward at the controls. Crates and supplies have been scattered along the beach. “We’ve been waiting on a shipment of cargo back at the docks, and wouldn’t you know it? Here it is, hidden in plain sight. That poor fella looks dead. Tired. Dead tired.”
The foliage around the plane stirs. A number of weird, pitcher plant-like creatures emerge from near the crash. “Uh-oh, man-eating plants!” The beady-eyed plants hiss like cats. “Women and children, you are safe, these are man-eating plants, you have nothing to be afraid of!” On the opposite side of the river, a massive man-eater has bloomed in the clearing. With a sickening belch, the monster draws our attention with its wiggling roots toward the scattered collection of human and animal bones in the mud. “Those man-eating plants, such needy things, always looking for a hand-out.” We hear closeby the call of a hornbill, perched on a gnarled, waterborne tree in the coming waters. Three of the man-eaters have cornered the bird from either end into the water, offering no safety to the unfortunate bird with their vines and fangs. “Speaking of hand-outs, there’s a rare flightless hornbill, about to become a little more rare. Medium rare.”
A small collection of ancient ruins appear in the underbrush. Amongst the ruins is the statue of what appears to be a giant, humanoid tiger with one eye, though the statue is the size of an average man. “Over here is Phemus, Guardian of the River. It’s his dream to become a celebrity. Yep. He wants to become rich and Phemus.” A large python has twisted beautifully around a submerged stone arch in the shallows on the opposite shore near additional ruins, the source of many a passenger’s jumpscare. “Over there is Monty, our python. Careful, he might get a crush on you. First comes love, then comes asphyxiation.”
A satisfied grunt emanates from the nearing underbrush. Amidst a bamboo thicket, a Big Game Hunter, rifle and pith helmet poised and ready, finds his khaki shorts in the clamped jaws of a very real, very large crocodile, his polka-dot undies revealed. The hunter’s safari elephant is blissfully unaware, her rear turned to the audience, gleefully enjoying a sack of peanuts from near an extinguished campfire. A dropped fishing pole and an overturned chair tell the story of how this croc came to the surface. “Wouldn’t you know, it’s my old friend Juan! Hi, Juan! And that crocodile? Old Smiley, he’s a great golfer. Yep. He’s gonna get a hole in Juan.” There is an audible groan from our group. A small number of crocodiles bask lazily along the sandy shores nearby. “In that group somewhere is Ginger, Smiley’s girlfriend. Careful, Ginger snaps! Yessir, she is one tough cookie. See ‘ya later, alligator!”
Cans, boxes and supplies are scattered across the shoreline and trail into the water, a preface to an overturned safari jeep at a “gone-bananas” Safari Camp. A silverback gorilla has dressed himself in a polka-dot skirt and necktie. He tries on a pith helmet at a wall-hung mirror, his grunting mate having dunked their baby in flour, giving him “pants.” One lazy ape swings back and forth in a hammock, a hardcover edition of Tarzan laid out on his chest. A juvenile looks into the muzzle of a loaded rifle, whilst another takes potshots at our boat with a revolver. Geysers erupt from the potshots hitting floating crates of ammunition and TNT. A “visiting cousin,” a Capuchin monkey, churns an old phonograph that plays a crackling rendition of “Trashin’ the Camp” from Tarzan between static bursts, despite the 1930s setting.
“Folks, we’re entering banana territory, better keep your eyes peeled. The last time I passed through here, those gorillas were having a problem getting that jeep to start. Looks like they finally got it to turn over. If any of you are wearing yellow, please don’t make any noises like a banana - it drives them ape.”
Not but ten feet from the safari camp appears the half-submerged wreckage of the Kongo Kate, a fellow Jungle Cruise vessel, aptly overrun with curious chimpanzees. “You know, my friends say, ‘your job is so easy a monkey could do it.’ But could you imagine seeing a monkey drive a boat?” He sees the chimps, one in fact is “driving” the boat. “Oh. Well, those are chimps. Not monkeys. I would tell you the difference but, it’s a long tail.” Downriver, a lone gorilla has wandered to a rocky outcropping near some lost cargo from the boat, ready to feed a waiting crocodile with a knuckle sandwich. “Would you look at these two lovebirds? Aww, he’s treating her to a knuckle sandwich. Can you feel the love tonight?” The gorilla slams down on the crocodile’s snout, hoisting the croc’s tail and back legs heavenward. “Reminds me of my favorite Disney film: Pinocchio.”
This transitions into our first glimpse at the iconic Schweitzer Falls. “A botanist told me that the bamboo you see on either side of the river can grow to be six stories tall. I think it’s seven. But that’s another story. And at last, we have beautiful Schweitzer Falls, named for famed explorer Dr. Albert Falls. But don't worry, we'll go over that later.” The jungle thickens. On either side of this narrow stretch of the jungle stands an African bull elephant, each raising their trunk and calling out from a bamboo clearing. “Over on the left we have the second most feared animal in the jungle: the African bull elephant. And over on the right we have the first most feared animal in the jungle: his mother-in-law.”
The jungle clears for a fabulous waterfall and rock formation off the starboard bow, housing a family of baboons that appear to be distracted by the panorama before them. As designed by Walt Disney himself, but relocated with the arrival of Indiana Jones, the African Veldt diorama is right out of a Natural History Museum. It portrays the dramatic “survival of the fittest” motif found in Walt Disney’s True-Life Adventure films. The local lions are feasting on a zebra, and the other animals have come to watch. The male lifts his head from the feast with a roar. The cubs fidget with their mother’s tail, while two lionesses engage in a tug-o-war with a bone that has been picked clean. “Would you look at that? Those lions are protecting that sleeping zebra. This reminds me of the number one law of the jungle: don’t be a zebra.” Zebras, giraffes, wildebeest and yapping wild dogs are among the local wildlife that have come to observe the situation, a scene left nearly intact since 1963 upon relocation, sans the removal of the red-blooded zebra gore. Vultures wait their turn in the overhead trees, whilst below, a lion and his mate raise their heads from the underbrush to watch our boat, each with a fresh bone in their jaws.
Hyenas are heard laughing. We see a beach laden with rocks and sand, first concealed from our view by a large anthill. The hyenas, along with some more zebras and gazelle from the Veldt, are curious onlookers to a rare glimpse at the Lost Film Crew. The unfortunate entertainers have climbed a dead tree to evade the horn of an angered rhinoceros. As the rhino lunges forward with its raised horn, the crew rises briskly. A red-dressed and blonde film starlet missing a shoe is at the top, closely followed by the safari-ready director with his beloved camera and film reels in tow, then the leading man in his Humphrey Bogart-esque attire, the screenwriter and his tattered script, and lastly, Skipper Felix, right about to get the point of adventure. “Nothing to see here, folks. That’s definitely not Skipper Felix and the crew he took out into the jungle to film a movie. Nope. Not him. That’s right. If you don’t see it, you don’t do the paperwork.” The clapperboard in the sand gives a title to the unmade film: The Beast from Harper’s Gulf, a subtle nod to Imagineer Harper Goff, the original Jungle Cruise designer.
Once again, we sail into danger. A fog has rolled in over the surface of the Hippo Swamp. All we see at first are trees, water, and a bank of fog, fully engulfing the river. The fog dissipates. “We’re sailing right into a swamp filled with dangerous hippopotami.” Sure enough, unfriendly hippos surface from below, wiggling their ears and “blowing” bubbles. “Don’t worry, the locals tell me they’re only dangerous if they’re wiggling their ears and blowing bubbles, which they’re all doing.” The large “river boss” hippo charges the boat with his twisted tusks. “I’ll scare them off the way I scared away my ex-girlfriend: I LOVE YOU!” The hippos retract beneath the surface. “Works every time.”
The fog, however, returns. A large canyon looms overhead, a la the finale of Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom. In fact, music familiar to fans of Raiders of the Lost Ark in “The Map Room: Dawn” plays now in the background. There’s a fork in the river - one leads to additional, safe-ish jungle, the other to the crags and craters of the looming canyon. A sign on the canyon-side reads “DANGER! Falling Rocks!” But before we can decide which way to turn, a baby hippo rises in front of the “good route,” giving our Skipper no choice but to veer right into the canyon. “A fork in the road… And not the kind for eating. You see that, folks? It’s the first sign of danger. And Hope the Hippo here wants us endangered.”
Our boat has finally come upon the majestic foundations to the Temple of the Forbidden Eye. Ominous and foreboding with the aforementioned music and scenery, our stage is set amongst the toppled columns, cracked stairs, crumbling mortar, and carved face of an ancient goddess entombed in serpentine roots and vines. The high walls of the canyon on either side conceal the much higher queue for the massive attraction, a vacant suspension bridge connecting to either side, missing planks throughout. The river ahead trails into the dark abyss of a hidden temple, guarded by hissing king cobras ashore. “This is it, the legendary Temple of the Forbidden Eye. As we speak, world famous archaeologist Dr. Indiana Jones is inside searching for the world’s greatest treasure… But he’ll never find it, because I’m out here and he’s in there… Let’s take a closer look, shall we?” Crocodiles bob up and down on either side of the boat. “Those crocodiles provide the Temple with an effective security system. They are completely reliable and never ask for a dime.” With the utmost courage we can muster, we pull full-steam ahead into the darkness of the canyon-borne temple, blissfully unaware of the dangers that lie ahead… But not before taking notice of the ancient art of the tiger Phemus, Guardian of the River, bowing to the goddess Mara, illustrated across a large tablet.
It is dark. Giant roots encompass the walls and cavernous ceiling. “Talk about a root canal,” our Skipper remarks. Ancient hieroglyphs begin to appear amidst bricks and columns half-reclaimed by the dirt and earth. A growl around the corner reveals a green-eyed, striking Bengal tiger, standing amidst an opening in the ruins now reclaimed by the jungle foliage. But past the great beast is something even more spectacular. “Anyone know what’s striped and goes ‘round and ‘round? A tiger in a revolving door.”
It is here when the Jungle Cruise, Raging Spirits, Indiana Jones Adventure, and the Disneyland Railroad all converge into one massive spectacle. The music has crescendoed into mysterious vocals. Living skeletons of ancient graverobbers are seen working the haunted mines with pick-axes and shovels. Jeeps careen around and about the rugged terrain and clifftops. Runaway mine cars narrowly evade certain doom in the lava chasm below. The Disneyland Railroad chugs past on a rickety railroad trestle. “This is the fabled Temple of the Forbidden Eye, where legend tells of a deadly curse and gifts from the gods. But be warned, those who look into the eye of the goddess Mara will meet their fate at the Gates of Doom…” Our boat sails into the opened-eye socket of a stone Mara’s massive submerged face. Waterfalls pour from all sides of the submerged sculpture.
The lava of the volcanic chasm has begun to seep into the river. A sudden burst of steam causes our boat to veer into a dark cloud. “This can’t be good! I can’t see a thing in this steam! But things could be worse, right?” The steam dissipates to reveal an endless array of gold and jewels littering the shores of an altar shrouded in thin fog. The walls show stories of a fearsome and bipedal one-eyed tiger much larger than the humans seen trembling at his feet. An illustration of Mara smiles down at the terrified mortals beneath the horrific, one-eyed cat. A statue of this same one-eyed beast looks out on the chamber from a throne, scepter at hand, one and the same with the illustrated tiger. This is indeed Phemus, Guardian of the River, and it is now obvious that he’s lurking somewhere nearby for real. Statues of a grinning Mara stand on either side of the humanoid tiger, seeming to harbor a sinister secret between their lips.
“Well, this is harmless. If we’re lucky, nothing could go wrong. In fact, we might get richer just sitting here. I believe this is a statue of Phemus, Guardian of the River, Devourer of CatNip.” A deep voice echoes through the room. “Foolish mortals! You mock the River Guardian?” The statue’s eye glows red. A red light has also engulfed the chamber. Some of the gold and jewels subside to reveal human skeletons clutching onto the goblets and invaluable trinkets. “This can’t be good.” He turns to the statue. “Uh, Phemus! We’re just looking, I swear! And we definitely were not looking at your one eye.” “You have looked into my eye! These sacred waters shall be protected.” “I like it better when statues don’t talk. Let’s get out of here!” We see the silhouette of falling rocks and debris on the walls as the waters become engulfed in flame. “So much for these waters being protected!”
In the walls of a massive grotto, we round the bend and come eye-to-eye with the massive, come-to-life figure of Phemus, the same statue now living and breathing, fur and all. Though smaller than Kong at Disney-Universal Studios next door, Phemus was at the time one of the largest Audio-Animatronics figures designed by Walt Disney Imagineering, about 20-feet tall. Standing upright, clad in armor, he has one claw free to swipe at us, in the other is the second half of a jeep from the Indiana Jones Adventure void of passengers and driver, the other half on the ground below. He bellows loudly and continuously. “That’s what I call a forbidden eye.” Flames roar on the waters. On the opposite side of the cavern we see the bones of previously unlucky explorers like ourselves. Statues of Mara with glowing eyes and sinister smiles line the walls. We are again consumed by steam from the fires, vanishing and subsequently exiting the subterranean hellscape.
“Normally I’d make a joke here, but… I’m not sure what just happened. I thought this was a family attraction. It’s probably for the best that we keep this to ourselves. No one would believe us anyways.”
Back in the relative safety of the jungle, we sail beneath a railroad trestle and into the relative safety of the jungle. Trees tower high above. “Before we go further, raise your hand if you’re still alive.” We do. “One, two… Okay, good. I get paid for the amount of people I bring back, not the amount I take out.”
A number of ancient columns and statues line either side of the river. Giant spiders in huge webs fill the airspace between the columns. The statues resemble mysterious elephant-like beings. “This is the Sacred Bathing Pool of the Indian Elephants. Let’s take a closer look…”
Frolicking Indian elephants bathe amongst the glowing waterfalls and bubbling streams of an ancient, glimmering, purple-fluorescent pool. The entire herd has gathered here to bathe. One huge elephant reclines in a waterfall. A baby squirts water into the mouth of a waiting crocodile, while other adults and their young play in the quiet waters between the reeds and giant lily pads. The waterfalls and waters have a mystical, purple glow, day and night. “Feel free to take all the pictures you want, folks. They do have their trunks on. These sacred bathing rights are seldom seen by civilized men… As I look around this boat today, I see this still holds true.” As we leave the pristine elephants, we venture deeper into the interior, where - uh-oh - a large bull elephant has strayed from the herd, half-submerged ahead. The rogue bull shoots a stream of water in our path before ducking back under. “No, Squirt! Bad elephant!” Our boat slows for a moment, only to jolt past “Squirt” as he rises again. “Everybody get down, get down! Duck! Duck! Goose!” Fortunately, we are unscathed. “Heh-heh. Just a little dry humor.”
We hear the roar of a thundering waterfall. Could it be? Yes, it could! “Now, folks, the moment you've all been waiting for... The Eighth Wonder of the World; the one, the only BACKSIDE OF WATER!” Our boat passed behind Schweitzer Falls to much fanfare and delight.
As we reach the last stretch of the jungle, we come upon who else, but Trader Sam and his kitschy lost ‘n’ found-turned gift shack. Shaded by a ramshackle umbrella jammed in the mud, Sam opens his flowing trench coat to reveal a bundle of crude and evidently stolen jewelry inside. Sam is a marooned explorer with scraggly hair and a white beard, surrounded by the spoils of his profession - skulls, masks, gold and gems, fruits and totems. Sam is joined by a baby Indian elephant, Ellie. “Over here is Trader Sam,” Sam can be heard giggling and coughing in a rugged, pirate-like grumble. “Top salesman here in the jungle, honest, marooned Trader Sam has a special deal going on, something that half of you need and the other half don’t. It’s a perfume called ‘Sense of Humor.’”
We head back now toward the ramshackle boathouse of the Jungle Navigation Co., ready to return to Adventureland. “Congratulations! You just survived the world-famous Jungle Cruise! Folks, out of all the crews I’ve had today… You by far have been the most recent. We’ve been through so much together in such a short amount of time. It’s almost too hard to say goodbye, but… Get out.” We do.
The dark jungles of Adventureland turn into a summer evening in New Orleans, Louisiana. The world's tropics have become the historic French Quarter. The music of Dixieland fills the air. We have stepped back in time and entered New Orleans Square.
***
