*~*~* MJ's Chatter Boxes *~*~*

[maggiegrace1]

Whoa... Let me get this straight... you let your kids SEE their boyfriend's over the holidays???

Man... why couldn't I get you for a mother-in-law...

Last year was the first time I've EVER spent the holidays with Marc, during the 8 years we've been together. Not even the years we were engaged.

Thats CRAZY!!!

We have always done Christmas Eve with Drew's Family and Christmas Day with mine.....

Drew's Family always wanted us there on Christmas Day too but Oh well..I said NO...Thats my family time...we do everything Christmas Day and there big thing is Christmas Eve...

There has to be some kind of compromise...


oh..Hello Everyone...

 

[Uponastar]

Let me repeat that. I've been with Marc for 8+ years now... Last year, the first year we were married, was the first time I've EVER seen him over the holidays because his family never included me because I wasn't "family" yet. Last year was fine, because I now was one of them.

That's. . .disturbing.

 

[Nemo14]

Let me repeat that. I've been with Marc for 8+ years now... Last year, the first year we were married, was the first time I've EVER seen him over the holidays because his family never included me because I wasn't "family" yet. Last year was fine, because I now was one of them.

Congratulations on the promotion....

 

[Uponastar]

Thats CRAZY!!!

We have always done Christmas Eve with Drew's Family and Christmas Day with mine.....

Drew's Family always wanted us there on Christmas Day too but Oh well..I said NO...Thats my family time...we do everything Christmas Day and there big thing is Christmas Eve...

There has to be soe kind of compromise...


oh..Hello Everyone...

Good morning Dana!
And yes, you're right. It's all about compromise. If everyone bends a little everybody wins!

 

[Uponastar]

Congratulations on the promotion....

I'd take a voluntary demotion and start spending Christmas at home starting your own traditions and making your own memories!

 

[Nemo14]

Good morning Dana!
And yes, you're right. It's all about compromise. If everyone bends a little everybody wins!

2 years ago we went to Florida for Christmas (that was when we did the hurricane repair project), and his family was quite upset with us. Apparently the fact that I had not spent Christmas with my mother for 15 years or so was irrelavent...

 

[DisneyBunny]

Totally understand your situation Bunny. When my mom used to live up here, we used to fight every year about Christmas. When DD was little, we actually had to visit like 6 or 7 different places on Christmas day - made for one cranky baby! We later adapted it to seeing my family the day after Christmas. I claim Christmas Eve for the 4 of us, but anything other than that is pretty much out of my control....

Yeah.. I put my foot down last year. I had been putting up with being away from Marc on Christmas for FAR too long, so I insisted on having our first Married Christmas morning be just the two of us at home. His mom wanted us there at 7 AM so we could all open presents together and have breakfast. They were ed that I threw a monkey wrench in their plans.

Thats CRAZY!!!

We have always done Christmas Eve with Drew's Family and Christmas Day with mine.....

Drew's Family always wanted us there on Christmas Day too but Oh well..I said NO...Thats my family time...we do everything Christmas Day and there big thing is Christmas Eve...

There has to be some kind of compromise...


oh..Hello Everyone...

Morning!

Compromise isn't in her vocabulary.

That's. . .disturbing.

Indeed.

Congratulations on the promotion....

Sigh... It comes at a price.

 

[maggiegrace1]

I'd take a voluntary demotion and start spending Christmas at home starting your own traditions and making your own memories!

That is a great idea...Now that I have Maggie..I want to do things for her..and if no one likes it..oh well....
Its all about her now to me....I want to start making memories and traditions of our own for her..:xmas:

 

[Disnut]

It used to be that the parents wanted us to be at their houses for everything. It got to be Christmas is my home (the 7 of us) Then on New Years weekend it is at my parents home for the family (my sisters and all of us 19 in all) Now the boys 4 of them have jobs and they are trying to get off of work so they can be there. We all love it where my parents live.

 

[DisneyBunny]

2 years ago we went to Florida for Christmas (that was when we did the hurricane repair project), and his family was quite upset with us. Apparently the fact that I had not spent Christmas with my mother for 15 years or so was irrelavent...

I hear ya. I haven't seen my grandparents on Christmas for the past few years, but heaven forbid we don't see BOTH sets of his grandparents on Christmas eve/day.

 

[Uponastar]

2 years ago we went to Florida for Christmas (that was when we did the hurricane repair project), and his family was quite upset with us. Apparently the fact that I had not spent Christmas with my mother for 15 years or so was irrelavent...

I raised my kids to live their own lives. As much as I miss them when their not with me, I would never demand their presence. I want them to want to spend time with me.

 

[Nemo14]

Yeah.. I put my foot down last year. I had been putting up with being away from Marc on Christmas for FAR too long, so I insisted on having our first Married Christmas morning be just the two of us at home. His mom wanted us there at 7 AM so we could all open presents together and have breakfast. They were ed that I threw a monkey wrench in their plans.

After my FIL died, we used to have to go to MIL's early in the morning so that she wasn't alone Christmas morning. Mind you, her daughter (flaky SIL) was a commander in the Navy and stationed in Washington DC, but couldn't possibly come that far for Christmas :fork: , so we had to get the kids up early to open their presents, then pack them in the car to get over to Nana's at 7 am!

 

[DisneyBunny]

I'd take a voluntary demotion and start spending Christmas at home starting your own traditions and making your own memories!

How much I'd like to do that.. but it just wouldn't work out.

That is a great idea...Now that I have Maggie..I want to do things for her..and if no one likes it..oh well....
Its all about her now to me....I want to start making memories and traditions of our own for her..:xmas:

That's another problem. Now there's a grandkid in the family, and one on the way.... so EVERYONE wants to see them... God willing, if we ever have kids, I'd like to give them some time at home.

 

[Nemo14]

I raised my kids to live their own lives. As much as I miss them when their not with me, I would never demand their presence. I want them to want to spend time with me.

You should write a book Dot!

 

[Uponastar]

That is a great idea...Now that I have Maggie..I want to do things for her..and if no one likes it..oh well....
Its all about her now to me....I want to start making memories and traditions of our own for her..:xmas:

Actually that's what we really did do.
Once the kids came along, Christmas became all about them.

 

[DisneyBunny]

I raised my kids to live their own lives. As much as I miss them when their not with me, I would never demand their presence. I want them to want to spend time with me.

Sigh... Again, why couldn't you be my mother-in-law??/

After my FIL died, we used to have to go to MIL's early in the morning so that she wasn't alone Christmas morning. Mind you, her daughter (flaky SIL) was a commander in the Navy and stationed in Washington DC, but couldn't possibly come that far for Christmas :fork: , so we had to get the kids up early to open their presents, then pack them in the car to get over to Nana's at 7 am!

That's another complicating factor. If we do something with his family, then my mom has to spend that time alone. She gets REALLY depressed around the holidays. His parents just don't understand that if we don't see her for Christmas, she doesn't HAVE a Christmas. She'd just be sitting at home all day with the cats.

 

[Uponastar]

How much I'd like to do that.. but it just wouldn't work out.


That's another problem. Now there's a grandkid in the family, and one on the way.... so EVERYONE wants to see them... God willing, if we ever have kids, I'd like to give them some time at home.

At some point it might become necessary to take a stand.
Those who don't like it will get over it.

 

[DisneyBunny]

At some point it might become necessary to take a stand.
Those who don't like it will get over it.

The problem is that Marc and I DO take a stand... and his brother and SIL do not... so we're labled the problem because we make waves. His SIL doesn't like conflict. Not that I enjoy it, but I'm not a doormat. MIL doesn't get that I'm different from her other DIL.

 

[Uponastar]

Sigh... Again, why couldn't you be my mother-in-law??/

Really, it's just about not being selfish.
My girls love me because I don't try to make them love me. You really can't do that. It doesn't work.

That's another complicating factor. If we do something with his family, then my mom has to spend that time alone. She gets REALLY depressed around the holidays. His parents just don't understand that if we don't see her for Christmas, she doesn't HAVE a Christmas. She'd just be sitting at home all day with the cats.

That's terrible!
They couldn't include your mother in their plans? Or at least understand that you want to be with her?

 

[Nemo14]

The problem is that Marc and I DO take a stand... and his brother and SIL do not... so we're labled the problem because we make waves. His SIL doesn't like conflict. Not that I enjoy it, but I'm not a doormat. MIL doesn't get that I'm different from her other DIL.

It's hard Bunny, but you really need to stand up to them and Marc needs to too!