Would you be mad or hurt?

[daisyduckie]

I promise I will try to keep this as short as possible. But I do need some advice.

I vacation with my sister and her family a lot. Up until a few years ago at least once a year. It worked out well, as we go to WDW a lot and I made the 6th person. So a few months ago I mentioned to my sister that I thought it was time for a little vacation, she agreed.

Sis even asked me to look up some condos, as we could drive a few hours away from home and relax. We went back and forth a few times as to what places looked the best. And then, I was asked to work the first few days of my vacation.

So I told my sis. And I figured everything was fine, as her family could always drive to the condo, and I could join them later in the week. Here comes the part that has me upset--without telling me, she decided they were going to Tennessee for vacation. Which is a 12 hour drive from here.

Now, I can't join them. And what really bothers me is that sis didn't even tell me of the change of plans. I had to hear about it from our parents, who heard it from my nephew. I feel hurt that she changed plans without letting me know. Hurt that I have in essence been left behind from a vacation that I suggested. To be honest, I spent the first night crying about being left behind and unwanted.

Advice? How do I approach this with my sis? And how do I respond to the texts she is sending me of her fabulous vacation?

 

[Disneydreamer23]

Some thing like this happened me me in may my sister told me I couldn't have my daughters family party at her house after she agrees ( my sister has a huge house) then a week later had a huge party with at least 70 people for her friend I confronted her and she told me I was to sensitive and to get over it I would suggest handle this carefully and I am sorry this happened to you.

 

[MOXOMUMD]

I would go somewhere I could afford on vacation by myself. Make your own happiness.

 

[seahawk7]

I would go somewhere I could afford on vacation by myself. Make your own happiness.

Is your sister older than you?

 

[daisyduckie]

Is your sister older than you?

Yes she is 3 years older.

 

[seahawk7]

Yes she is 3 years older.

I asked that because I have an older sibling and he takes my feelings for granted like I'm not a real person. My friends have had similar experiences with their older brothers and sisters. I'm really sorry. My advice is to speak your truth when you feel she will be most receptive. Even if it falls on deaf ears, you opened the conversation.

 

[daisyduckie]

I asked that because I have an older sibling and he takes my feelings for granted like I'm not a real person. My friends have had similar experiences with their older brothers and sisters. I'm really sorry. My advice is to speak your truth when you feel she will be most receptive. Even if it falls on deaf ears, you opened the conversation.

The crazy thing is, this is the same sister who bust out crying because she wasn't invited to an hour long lunch I had with my niece, her daughter, while she was away at college. So I'm horrible because I met your daughter for lunch without you, but you can axe me from a vacation, and I'm supposed to be ok?

And this wasn't the first time she has done this. She did almost the exact same thing last year, but I tried to be the nicer person and not make a big deal out of it.

 

[seahawk7]

The crazy thing is, this is the same sister who bust out crying because she wasn't invited to an hour long lunch I had with my niece, her daughter, while she was away at college. So I'm horrible because I met your daughter for lunch without you, but you can axe me from a vacation, and I'm supposed to be ok?

And this wasn't the first time she has done this. She did almost the exact same thing last year, but I tried to be the nicer person and not make a big deal out of it.

Maybe she has a narcissistic personality. Look it up, it might ring true to you. It's sad because you want to spend time with her and her family but she is making it difficult. I think it's harder for you since you are dealing with a sister rather than a brother. I don't have any sisters but I've heard they can be wonderful lifelong friends or cause each other a lot of pain since they know each other so well. I'm sorry.

 

[HakunaMatata89]

tell her how you feel or it will never change.


worse comes to worse beat her up

 

[Sans Souci]

It sounds like it's time to detach with love.

 

[mousehockey37]

The crazy thing is, this is the same sister who bust out crying because she wasn't invited to an hour long lunch I had with my niece, her daughter, while she was away at college. So I'm horrible because I met your daughter for lunch without you, but you can axe me from a vacation, and I'm supposed to be ok?

And this wasn't the first time she has done this. She did almost the exact same thing last year, but I tried to be the nicer person and not make a big deal out of it.

Well, this kinda brings up the old saying "You can't have your cake and eat it too..."

If she's gonna cry and get bent out of shape over an hour lunch, but can easily turn around a few years in a row now and axe you from the vacation, there's some other issues there.

She's your sister and always will be, but I'd be steering clear of anymore vacations.

1. I'd be mad. Plain and simple. Mad at the texts of the vacation you're supposed to be on. I'd personally block the number for a little while, get the point across.

2. Something similar to this happen with my gf and her sister. When we went to go to WDW 2 years ago, her sister was driving and we were flying. Well, we needed to make flight reservations, so we said are X and Y the dates that we're going to be there. She said yes. Well, we went and booked our flights. Wouldn't ya know, 1 week goes by, we go to her house and they said yeah, we're going a week EARLIER now because we forgot the kid has to go back to school. We were fuming that we had flights booked and now the dates changed, AFTER she assured us that yes, those were permanent dates. Well, needless to say, it was a horrendous nightmare to try and change the flights...

Anywho, this year she comes up to my gf and says we want to go back to Disney. I said to my gf, I'm not going with her. Remember what she put us through last time, I'm not having it again. It's not an easy thing to deal with because I want to go to Disney, but I'm not going to get sucked into something and have her pull that crap on us again because of an oversight.

So, I guess from my example and what you've said is...

Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me.

She's your sister, love her for who she is to you, but that's it. I wouldn't plan anything with her in the future and when she asks why you're sending your own fab vacation photos to her and why she wasn't invited, just let her know that her and her drama wasn't part of the vacation planning or itinerary.