Why it's great to be a guy (CAUTION: Rated PG, maybe 13)

Castle Cake Apologist

Well-Known Member
Original Poster
There are a million reasons actually,these are merely 100 random picks.




1.There is no #1 reason, and that's okay


2.Movie nudity is virtually always female


3.Child birth


4.A five day vacation requires only one suitcase


5.Monday Night Football


6.Belching is cool


7.Your bathroom lines are always 80% shorter


8.You can open all your own jars


9.Old friends don't give a crap if you've lost or gained weight


10.Dry cleaners and haircutters don't rob you blind


11.Screw up the laundry once, never allowed to do it again


12.Your is never a factor in a job interview


13.All your orgasms are real


14.Those chairs by the waiting room at lingerie shops are for you


15.Guys in hockey masks don't attack you


16.You don't have to lug a bag of useful stuff around everywhere you go


17.You can still get away with MAKING a Valentine's day card


18.You can go to the bathroom without a support group


19.Your last name stays put


20.You can understand Homer Simpson


21.You never get a stupid Love Quiz in GQ


22.You can kill your own food


23.The garage is all yours


24.You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness


25.Big Breasted Stripper days on Jerry Springer


26.We're treated like royalty when we're sick


27.You never have to clean the toilet


28.You can be showered and ready in 10 minutes


29.S*x means never worrying about your reputation


30.Wedding plans take care of themselves


31.If someone forgets to invite you to something he or she is still your friend


32.Your underwear is $10 for a three pack


33.The National College Cheerleading Championship.


34.None of your co-workers have the power to make you cry


35.You don't have to shave below the neck


36.Scratching your is just fine


37.If you're 34 and single nobody notices


38.You can write your name in snow


39.Beer is a food group


40.Everything on your face stays its original color


41.Chocolate is just another snack


42.You can be president (hehe, not too politically correct, so sue me :rolleyes: Hey, ladies... J/K.. this whole list is all in humor, so laugh a little)


43.Going to the gym to look at the aerobic girls is called 'working out'


44.Flowers fix everything


45.You never have to worry about other people's feelings


46.You get to think about s*x 90% of the day


47.You can wear a white shirt to a water park


48.Three pairs of shoes are enough


49.You can eat a banana in a hardware store


50.A 'mood swing' is a place, with a swing, where you get s*x.


51.Foreplay is optional


52.Falling asleep right after s*x


53.Nobody stops telling a dirty joke when you walk into the room


54.You can whip your shirt off on a hot day


55.Middle aged? big gut? No problem, it's expected.


56.Underwear lasts longer than most marriages


57.Car mechanics tell the truth


58.The belly button is a fantastic place to store corn chip crumbs


59.You can watch a game in silence with your buddy for hours without thinking: "He must be mad at me!"


60.The world is your urinal


61.Wake up, shower, eat, brush your teeth, leave... max 15 minutes.


62.You get to jump up and slap stuff


63.Hotwax never comes near your pubic area


64.One mood, all the time


65.Your virginity is never 'taken' away. You'd gladly give it to anyone that asks.


66.Father-in-laws are sweet older men. Mother-in-laws are nasty old crones.


67.You know at least twenty ways to open a beer bottle


68.You can sit with your knees apart no matter what you are wearing


69.Same work...more pay


70.Gray hair and wrinkles add character


71.You dont have to leave the room to make an emergency crotch adjustment


72.It's OK to marry a girl much younger than you if you have money


73.It's OK to cop a free feel when you cuddle.


74.With 400 million sperms per shot you could double the earth's population in 15 tries, at least in theory


75.You never have to wear high heels.


76.Sometimes women will fight over you, and you get to watch


77.The remote is yours and yours alone


78.People never glance at your chest when you're talking to them


79.People never complain about men drivers


80.Drinking till you pass out is occasionally OK


81.Bachelor parties whomp over bridal showers


82.You have a normal and healthy relationship with your mom


83.Breast augmentation on your wife is a gift to both of you


84.You needn't pretend you're "freshening up" to go to the bathroom


85.If you don't call your buddy when you say you will,he won't tell your friends you've changed


86.Someday you'll be a dirty old man, and you're looking forward to it.


87.You can rationalize any behavior with the handy phrase "F*** it!"


88.If an other guy shows up at the party in the same outfit you might become lifelong buddies


89.Dad always let you stay out late while your sister had to be in before midnight


90.The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected


91.You never have to miss a s*xual opportunity because you're not in the mood


92.You're expected to stink if you work out


93.If something mechanical didn't work, you can bash it with a hammer and throw it across the room


94.New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet


95.If someone bothers you, you just don't talk to them and problem solved.


96.Telephone company commercials don't make you cry


97.Not liking a person does not eliminate having great s*x with them


98.Girls play barbie. You had GI Joe


99.Baywatch


100.There is always a game on somewhere
 

Seano846

Member
You forgot,
#101. Farts are always funny, no matter what.

.........................and
#102 Its lame to copy an article from Maxim magazine and post it on a Disney Board
 

Castle Cake Apologist

Well-Known Member
Original Poster
Hey, Fievel.... sorry about last night, my words were,err... wrong. Of course your choice of wording wasn't the best either :rolleyes: so, I'll let you continue to seek and destroy James and I'll just get out of your way.
 

Fievel

RunDisney Addict
Hehe....no problem man..we both stepped over the line a bit.....You thought we were coming after you strong, when we were after James....don't worry about it....it happens.:D
 

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