What's fair is fair!!!

Mr Toad

Mr Toad

Well-Known Member
So the DW wants to plan a girls trip to Seattle next summer. I am all for her doing it. We were planning on taking 3 of the 5 kids with us. So hey, her doing a girls trip will save us some $$$. So now I'm trying to talk her into letting me take a solo trip to WDW next September. Fair right? If I don't do WDW then I'm going to see Notre Dame play at their home stadium (I've always wanted to see ND play at their home).
 
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rsoxguy

rsoxguy

Well-Known Member
I'm not certain Mr. Toad. You see, I'm more of a "be with the ones you love" kind of guy. I'm fine with being alone in this world, but I always figure that God went through the trouble of putting us together for a reason, and my truest joy in life is usually always found in seeing my wife and daughter enjoying themselves. Call me crazy , but I think that being together never gets old.
 
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Chernaboggles

Chernaboggles

Well-Known Member
I can't tell if this is a serious post or a light-hearted, joking post, but I'll give you a serious answer:

"Fair" doesn't really work in relationships. On the surface, sure, if she goes on a girls trip, it's only fair that you get to go on a boys trip, or a solo trip. However, in practice it's much more complicated. If Mr. CBs went off to WDW on his own, I'd feel sad and left out, even if it was "fair" because I'd gone somewhere else with a friend. I think I'd end up feeling as if I had to pay for my trip by agreeing to be excluded from his trip, and that would feel pretty terrible.

Your mileage may vary, but you're probably better off coming up with a plan that she's all for in the same way that you're all for her girls trip, rather than something you have to talk her into. Make it something she's genuinely happy to see you go off and do without her, not something she endures as payment for having done something fun without you. In other words, aim for emotional fairness, not simple quid pro quo.
 
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Aquira

Aquira

Active Member
Honestly, I think that's fair. If she's having a trip why shouldn't you have one? Likewise, if she gets to go on one trip and exclude you why should it be unfair to exclude her? Of course I'd feel a bit left out if my partner went to disney, but at the same time I'd understand I made my choice with the girls trip.
 
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BrianV

BrianV

Well-Known Member
Would you have fun in wdw by yourself? Sure, if you were single that would be fine. But you have a wife and kids. I would miss them incredibly in disney. Heck, my wifeand I have been to universal a few times without the kids. A relaxing and great time, but we miss the kiddos incredibly,
 
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I

incorrigible

Member
I think there's a few other aspects of this situation to consider. Do you have any desire to go to Seattle (i.e. are you being excluded so she can go with her friends)? If you do, can you get the time off from work to go then? If the answer to either of these is no, then I think it weakens your case for a solo trip a little bit. On the other hand, if you want to see Seattle, could go, and are simply not going so she can go with her friends, I think it significantly strengthens your case.
 
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JIMINYCR

JIMINYCR

Well-Known Member
Mr. Toad.. I think its fair ... BUUUT....My DW just asked / told me she was planning to go on a trip with 3 of her GF in a couple of months. I said yeah... go ahead, enjoy. You do that then I'll go to WDW afterwards. She said, ummm NO. She wants to go AND also go to WDW with me. I LOST. SHE WON. Yeah... thats being married.:inlove: Us guys hardly ever win .:arghh: Even when fair is fair.
 
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stevehousse

stevehousse

Well-Known Member
image.jpg

Sorry for the crappy screenshot but this thread made me think of this classic 80s movie! One of my favs!
 
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Mr Toad

Mr Toad

Well-Known Member
Original Poster
BrianV said:
Would you have fun in wdw by yourself? Sure, if you were single that would be fine. But you have a wife and kids. I would miss them incredibly in disney. Heck, my wifeand I have been to universal a few times without the kids. A relaxing and great time, but we miss the kiddos incredibly,
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In a word, yes. I have traveled alone several times. Actually, traveling by yourself is very calming. Doing Disney solo would be a new for me. Remember, I am also seriously considering the Notre Dame home game for next year (something I have always wanted to do).
 
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Mr Toad

Mr Toad

Well-Known Member
Original Poster
JIMINYCR said:
Mr. Toad.. I think its fair ... BUUUT....My DW just asked / told me she was planning to go on a trip with 3 of her GF in a couple of months. I said yeah... go ahead, enjoy. You do that then I'll go to WDW afterwards. She said, ummm NO. She wants to go AND also go to WDW with me. I LOST. SHE WON. Yeah... thats being married.:inlove: Us guys hardly ever win .:arghh: Even when fair is fair.
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Your right, we never really win in the end.
 
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Mr Toad

Mr Toad

Well-Known Member
Original Poster
incorrigible said:
I think there's a few other aspects of this situation to consider. Do you have any desire to go to Seattle (i.e. are you being excluded so she can go with her friends)? If you do, can you get the time off from work to go then? If the answer to either of these is no, then I think it weakens your case for a solo trip a little bit. On the other hand, if you want to see Seattle, could go, and are simply not going so she can go with her friends, I think it significantly strengthens your case.
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Every 2-3 years the girls take a trip. They chose Seattle because I use to live there and told them how great it is, especially in the summertime. So that's where they are headed. I know they will have fun. They have been friends for 20+ years and have done girls trips several times. It's just what they do and I support them in this.
 
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Mr Toad

Mr Toad

Well-Known Member
Original Poster
rsoxguy said:
I'm not certain Mr. Toad. You see, I'm more of a "be with the ones you love" kind of guy. I'm fine with being alone in this world, but I always figure that God went through the trouble of putting us together for a reason, and my truest joy in life is usually always found in seeing my wife and daughter enjoying themselves. Call me crazy , but I think that being together never gets old.
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You are absolutely correct-be with the ones you love. We love each other and our kids. Sometimes we travel together, sometimes we don't. And just because we don't, doesn't mean we love each other any less.
 
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Mr Toad

Mr Toad

Well-Known Member
Original Poster
Chernaboggles said:
I can't tell if this is a serious post or a light-hearted, joking post, but I'll give you a serious answer:

"Fair" doesn't really work in relationships. On the surface, sure, if she goes on a girls trip, it's only fair that you get to go on a boys trip, or a solo trip. However, in practice it's much more complicated. If Mr. CBs went off to WDW on his own, I'd feel sad and left out, even if it was "fair" because I'd gone somewhere else with a friend. I think I'd end up feeling as if I had to pay for my trip by agreeing to be excluded from his trip, and that would feel pretty terrible.

Your mileage may vary, but you're probably better off coming up with a plan that she's all for in the same way that you're all for her girls trip, rather than something you have to talk her into. Make it something she's genuinely happy to see you go off and do without her, not something she endures as payment for having done something fun without you. In other words, aim for emotional fairness, not simple quid pro quo.
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Correct, all relationships vary. We are supportive of each other's girls/guys/solo trips. Perhaps the thread title was worded poorly. But there is never any ill will when she takes her girls trips or I take a solo or guys trip. We've done it before...just never thought about doing Disney solo.
 
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Mr Toad

Mr Toad

Well-Known Member
Original Poster
WWWD said:
Save Disney for the family trips. A guys trip to a ND football game, now you're talking!
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We normally would. We just have no plans on going back with the whole crew for about 3 years. Since the girls trip came up, planning for my trip came up as well.
I would love it if I could coordinate a ND home game with a Cubs home game in Chicago. But schedules won't be out for a while.
 
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