The Great Gonzo's Daredevil Academy (a new dark ride for Disney's Hollywood Studios)

Brer Panther

Well-Known Member
Original Poster
This is an idea that I've been working on for a while... a lot of ideas for Muppet dark rides have been tossed around over the years, so I wanted to try my own. Hope you like it!

Picture this.

You're walking through Disney's Hollywood Studios. All week, you've been hearing folks online talking about this new ride that's just opened up. Somebody dubbed it "a cross between Peter Pan and Mr. Toad" - very intreguing. Peaking your curiosity even more, at the entrance to the park you saw a flyer posted on a lamppost featuring the Great Gonzo of The Muppets. The flyer read:

"Is your life boring? Do you crave excitement? Are you in desperate need of a thrill?

Pay a visit to

THE GREAT GONZO'S DAREDEVIL ACADEMY
Now open in Muppet Courtyard!"

Finally, you arrive at the attraction that you've heard so much about. Where the restaurant PizzeRizzo once stood now can be found the backdoor entrance to the Muppets' movie studio. Above the doorway is a large sign reading "THE GREAT GONZO'S DAREDEVIL ACADEMY", topped by the image of the Great Gonzo himself, tied to a rocket.

We head inside and enter the attraction's queue, which takes us through the backstage sections of the studio. Seated at a desk near the door is security guard Bobo the Bear, his face in a book. "Have a good day, sir," he comments as we walk by.

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On the left wall, posters for "The Great Gonzo's Daredevil Academy" are sloppily duct-taped. One reads "I WANT YOU... To Join the Great Gonzo's Daredevil Academy", accompanied by a photo of Gonzo dressed as Uncle Sam. Another reads "Don't Be Chicken - Join the Great Gonzo's Daredevil Academy!", accompanied by a crude drawing of a chicken on a motorcycle. A third poster reads "Want Abs Like THIS? Join the Great Gonzo's Daredevil Academy!", accompanied by a black-and-white photo of a bodybuilder... with Gonzo's head pasted onto it. The bottom of the poster reads, in small text, "NOTE: The Great Gonzo does not guarantee that you will gain abs like this if you do indeed join The Great Gonzo's Daredevil Academy. Please don't sue me." Next to the third poster, also duct-taped to the wall, is a big arrow with the words "THIS-A-WAY" written on it. More posters are duct-taped to the right wall, advertising the many things that you'll learn at the Great Gonzo's Daredevil Academy: "ALLIGATOR-WRESTLING", "SHOOTING YOURSELF OUT OF A CANNON", "KNIFE-THROWING", "SKYDIVING", "RECITING THE SEVEN-TIMES TABLES WHILE STANDING ON A HAMMOCK AND BALANCING A PIANO", "YODELING WHILE RIDING A MOTORIZED POGO STICK", "RECITING POETRY WHILE DEFUSING A BOMB", and "SHOOTING YOURSELF OUT OF A CATAPULT". Eventually, we reach the doorway. Hanging above it is a banner reading "RECRUITMENT OFFICE (ALL WANNABE-DAREDEVILS, ENTER THROUGH HERE)" in bold letters. There's no turning back now.

We walk through the doorway and arrive in the "Recruitment Office", actually the attraction's pre-show room. At the front of the room is a large chalkboard. And standing in front of that clipboard is the Great Gonzo himself, represented by an advanced Audio-Animatronic. As we and other guests shuffle into the room, Gonzo tells us, "That's right, folks. Please step in and make sure there's enough room for everyone. Don't sit on the guiderails. I don't know why you're not supposed to do that, just don't do it, okay? Thanks." Once the room is at capacity, a drumroll sounds off and Gonzo announces, "Welcome to the Great Gonzo's Daredevil Academy! I think, therefore I am, the Great Gonzo, and you lucky people are going to learn the tricks of the trade... of being a daredevil. Lights, please!" The lights dim a little, and a slideshow is projected onto the chalkboard. First, we see a photo of Gonzo shooting himself out of a cannon. "Over the years, I've attempted many a daring stunt. A stunt that you'd have to be crazy to try. But that didn't stop me! I've shot myself out of a cannon..." The photo changes to one of Gonzo driving a go-kart blindfolded. "I've driven a go-kart blindfolded..." The photo changes to one of Gonzo skydiving. "I've skydived without a parachute into shark-infested waters..." The photo changes to one of Gonzo at a party, wearing a lampshade on his head and holding a can of soda in one hand as he dances in the punch bowl. "I've, uh, made an idiot out of myself at a party... don't know how that photo got in there..." The photo changes to one of Gonzo wrestling an alligator. "Well, anyway, I've done pretty much everything that qualifies as a stunt... and lived!" Gonzo boasts. "So I decided, 'Hey, why don't I start teaching OTHER people to do stunts like that?' Thus, I opened up this academy. I'll teach you all that I know about being a daredevil. Now, just a word of warning: these stunts can be incredibly scary. I mean, not 'Miss Piggy After Somebody Makes Her Mad' levels of scary, but scary. So if anybody's having second thoughts and wants to leave... I'm not judging you or anything. Now, for our first class, I thought that it would be smartest to start with a stunt easy for beginners... but where'd be the fun in THAT? So instead, we'll be learning the art of..." The slideshow cuts to a photo of Gonzo riding a large rocket. "ROCKET RIDING! Rocket riding is, essentially, when you climb on top of a rocket and ride it as it flies around. It's a lot of fun. However, I have more students in this class than I do rockets... in my defense, it's really hard getting your hands on rockets these days... so I had to improvise a little." The photo changes to a crude drawing of a rocket with two armchairs tied under it. "After a trip to Dave's Furniture Store, I took a bunch of cushy armchairs and tied them to the rockets. Now, FOUR people can ride ONE rocket! Clever, huh? Now, I know you're probably all tired of hearing me talk and just want to get to the actual rocket-riding. Well, don't worry, we'll do that in a second. But first, let's go over some safety rules. Yes, even daredevils have to be at least a LITTLE careful." The drawing changes to one showing the same rocket, with tiny stick figures sitting in the chairs. "First off, it's very important to remain seated with your hands, arms, feet, legs, basically ALL body parts inside the rocket-chair at all times. Parents, keep a close eye on your children. That's very important. No flash pictures. And, oh yeah, no food or drink of any kind. Trust me, eating while riding a rocket is a dangerous combination." A door swings open, and Gonzo says, "Now let's get in our rockets!"

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Walking through the door, we enter the attraction's load area, which seems to be held in the Muppets Studios' mailroom. On the wall is a mailbox for each and every Muppet, stocked with letters and, in the case of Lew Zealand's box, fish. Large crates are also scattered around the room, marked things like "TO: ROWLF THE DOG, MUPPETS STUDIO. FROM: P.N.O'S MUSICAL INSTRUMENT EMPORIUM" and "TO: THE SWEDISH CHEF, MUPPETS STUDIO. FROM: BILL AND DAVID'S COOKING SUPPLIES AND STRIPED SHIRTS". It is here that we climb aboard our rockets, which as previously stated have two large armchairs tied under them for us to sit in. Each rocket has a fuse sticking out of the back. As we climb aboard, Gonzo's voice can be heard: "All right, everyone, into your rockets! Remember, it's VERY important to stay seated keep your hands, arms, feet, legs, etcetera inside the rocket-chair at all times. And watch your children. That's very important too. Let's get a move on!" He repeats this in Spanish, and our rocket begins to slowly move forward.

Rounding a corner, we see Gonzo again, standing on top of a large box marked "MAD MONSTER MURRAY'S GIANT MATCHES: FOR THE MONSTER WHO LIKES TO SMOKE A LOT" and holding a large match. "I almost forgot!" he says. "You'll need the fuse of your rocket lit. Fortunately, I bought these giant matches online..." He lights the fuse on the back of the rocket, and our rocket suddenly springs to life. We immediately zip away from Gonzo and begin flying through the Muppets Studios at an alarming speed. Many Muppets duck to avoid our flying into them. Directly in front of us, near the end of the hallway, Sweetums and Doglion can be seen carrying a large sheet of glass. Of course, we wind up flying right through the glass, smashing it to pieces (actually, the sheet isn't really glass - it's a swinging door, but as we fly through it we hear the sound of glass breaking). "All right, you're doing good so far!" Gonzo says, running to catch up with us. "Let's see how you are at making turns on those!" This is the cue for the track to suddenly split in two.

TRACK A:

Our rocket turns to the left and makes a beeline for a door marked "WRITERS' ROOM". Smashing through it, we find ourselves in a small room where at least fifteen Muppet monkeys are seated at typewriters... as is a hat-rack, oddly enough. The primates are hard at work coming up with a script for the Muppets' next project. As we zip by, the monkeys all freak out. Some of them duck. One gets out a large umbrella for protection. A few start throwing crumpled-up pieces of paper at us.

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Fortunately, we're able to escape the wrath of the monkeys by smashing through the wall and winding up in... uh oh. We're in Miss Piggy's dressing room. The pig is at the moment wearing a bathrobe, a towel, and a mud-mask. Her back is to us as we approach. Then, suddenly, she turns around, and upon seeing us shrieks at the top of her lungs. "Who are you?! And what are you doing in MOI'S DRESSING ROOM?!" she demands. "I'll fix you! HI-YAAAAAAAAH!" Piggy gives us a karate chop, jostling the rocket a little and sending us flying through the roof of the building and into the air (via the same forced perspective effect used for the "falling" scene in Roger Rabbit's Car-Toon Spin).

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The force of the karate chop sends us so high up that we eventually reach outer space and crash land on the planet Koozebane. From out of the dirt-colored crust the planet's surface consists of emerge several confused-looking aliens of various shapes and sizes. Manuevering around them, we're suddenly confronted by an enormous alien similar in appearance to the Space Slug from The Empire Strikes Back, but much more Muppety in design. It bares its sharp teeth and attempts to gobble us up, but our rocket zips away and flies back down to earth.


TRACK B:

Turning to the right, our rocket crashes into the Studio Kitchen, which is (of course) run by the Swedish Chef. At the moment, chaos is ensuing in the kitchen, which is pretty normal when you've got the Swedish Chef running it - for one thing, the Chef is currently "fencing" with Pepe the King Prawn, the Chef holding a large wooden spoon and Pepe holding a cocktail sword. Why? Well, a large cookbook open to a page with a recipe for "Shrimp Scampi" provides an explanation, the Chef wants to cook Pepe but Pepe's not having any of it. In addition, several rats can be seen ducking in and out of the cupboards and stealing food. A strange-looking purple tentacle reaches out of a large pot is sitting on the stove and turns on a nearby blender. The refrigerator door swings open as we approach it, and we nearly crash inside, freaking out all the talking food that it contains! And on top of that, the oven is bursting with smoke - the Chef must've left something in there for too long! Fortunately, our rocket escapes the room via an open air duct.

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After dashing through the dimly-lit air vents, we wind up in the studio bathroom. It seems to have sprung a leak, and as a result the entire bathroom is flooded. Beauregard, the studio janitor, can be seen desperately trying trying to fix the leak, but to no avail. Curiously enough, Muppet fish peek out of the water and watch us as we go by. The door to one stall opens up, revealing a toilet that has several jets of water shooting out of it a la a fountain. You may get wet!

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Flying out the bathroom door, we head straight across the hallway and into the Electric Mayhem's recording studio. Inside, the band is jamming under a spectacular show of psychadelic lights. Lava lamps (that actually erupt like volcanoes), posters of famous rock bands, and even some neon lights decorate the room. Dr. Teeth's on the keyboard, Janice rocks out on guitar, Floyd plays the bass, Zoot blows a saxophone, Lips toots a trumpet and, of course, Animal is going to town on the drums. Animal is also seemingly the only member of the band who notices us as we fly by, shouting, "ROCKET! ROCKET! AH-HA-HA-HA-HA!"

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Regardless of which direction the rocket goes in, both tracks wind up in the same room, where they merge back into one track (for now, anyway): the Muppet Theater. This part of the studio is used for live showings, live shows, things like that. At the moment, Fozzie Bear is standing on the stage, doing a comedy routine. Next to the stage, Rowlf the Dog is seated at his piano, tickling the ivories and providing Fozzie with some musical accompaniment. "So the gnu says, 'Herd of buffalo? Sure I've heard of 'em!' Ahhhhh, wocka wocka!" the bear exclaims, just one of the many jokes that he might say as we fly by. "And speaking of buffalo, the other day I saw a water buffalo walking down the street. It had two tails, three horns and six feet. That's the first time that I've ever seen a water buffalo with spare parts! Ahhhhhhhh!" The audience is full of Muppets, most of which have bored expressions on their faces. A few have even fallen asleep. One member of the audience is, of course, a water buffalo with two tails, three horns and six feet. Upon hearing Fozzie's joke, it growls and steam comes out of its ears. Eventually, our rocket even flies over to the balcony where, of course, Statler and Waldorf are seated. As we approach, Statler turns to Waldorf and snarks, "You know, I've heard of tuna in a tin can, but TOURISTS in a tin can, that's ridiculous!" Immediately, the two start howling with laughter.

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Zipping through another doorway, we see Gonzo again, peeking out of a flowerpot (don't ask me how he fit in there). "You're all doing great so far!" he tells us. "Now, let's work on actually STEERING the rocket. It's pretty easy, actually, you just lean towards..." Before Gonzo can finish, our rocket suddenly turns away. "Or you can just let the rocket steer for you. That works, too!" Gonzo calls after us.

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Our rocket smashes through a door marked "MUPPET LABS" and wind up in the bizarre laboratory where Dr. Bunsen Honeydew and Beaker work. Noticing us coming their way, Bunsen smiles and says, "Oh, hello there! Welcome to Muppet Labs, where the future is being made toDAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!" Before he can finish his sentence, he's suddenly startled by our about to crash into him. Fortunately, he ducks out of the way just in time. Beaker isn't so lucky, and we wind up sending him flying across the room. All over the place, strange inventions hum and crackle with electricity. Test tubes glow with strangely-colored liquids. We wind up flying right into a large machine with "MUPPET LABSTM TELEPORTER" written on the side. As we enter the machine, it suddenly springs to life, and after a display of flashing lights, we find ourselves in one of two locations (the track splits into two again)...

TRACK A:

Somehow, we've wound up underwater. Confused-looking Muppet sea creatures stare at us as we "swim" by. A Muppet octopus reaches towards us with one of its eight tentacles. Eventually, we wind up floating right into the wide open mouth of a sleepy-looking Muppet whale. Fortunately, we're blown out of its blowhole (another use of the aforementioned forced perspective effect) and wind up back at Muppet Studios.

TRACK B:

A jungle of all places! Thick foilage is on all sides of us. A Muppet lion emerges from the bushes and roars in our faces... then proceeds to cough a few times and ask, "Do you have a throat lozenge or something?" Muppet birds squawk in the treetops above our heads. This scene actually parodies several moments from the Jungle Cruise. For example, we come across a Muppet elephant bathing pool... a literal one where the elephants lather themselves, scrub under their armpits, and then dry themselves off with towels... which they promptly cover themselves with upon noticing us (one even squirts water through its trunk at us!). Nearby, a Muppet rhinoceros has somehow uprooted an entire tree, which is now stuck to its horn. A Muppet crocodile opens its mouth, revealing a freaked-out Muppet bunny inside. A Muppet tiger sits at the bottom of a tree, growling and swiping at a nervous-looking Gonzo wearing a pith helmet. Upon noticing us, Gonzo says, "Do you have any idea how long it took me to find you guys? Don't worry, I've got the Teleporter. It'll get you back to the studio." He points over at the Teleporter, which now has several Muppet birds perched on top of it. In we go, and indeed, it immediately teleports us back to the Muppet Studio...

Specifically, it teleports us onto a soundstage where the Muppets are filming a movie - an adaptation of Frankenstein. Kermit, of course, sits in the director's chair, Wayne and Wanda are the leads, Uncle Deadly plays Dr. Frankenstein himself, Scooter holds the clapboard, Walter is the cameraman, and the monster is none other than an enormous, unamused-looking Sam the Eagle. "How did I let Kermit talk me into this?" he demands. Two rats run on a hamster wheel, powering up the electricity that "brings Sam to life" (actually, it just makes him light up and scream at the top of his lungs. This is accompanied by - amusingly enough - the smell of roast chicken). Nearby, Bean Bunny holds a cable in each hand, and as Sam lights up, Bean gets a shock himself, causing steam to shoot out of his ears. We wind up knocking over the set, a large painted piece of cardboard. As we zip by, a confused Kermit exclaims, "What the heck?!"

Then we enter another soundstage, where the Muppet Newsman is seen at his desk. "This is a Muppet news flash!" he says. "People are flying through the Muppet Studio on rockets and making a mess of things! How this happened, we don't know, but..." Before he can finish, we suddenly knock the Newsman over. "I'm okay!" he can be heard groaning as we fly out of the soundstage.

"Now, let's finish thing up with an obstacle course!" Gonzo announces, popping out of an overhead air vent. "Just dodge all the obstacles that I've laid out before you!" First up - Lew Zealand, who throws his trademark boomerang fish at our rocket. "Whah ha ha! I throw the fish away, and they come back to me!" he laughs cheerfully as the fish ricochet off the rocket, shaking it a little. Then another pipe bursts above our heads, getting us incredibly wet. Then we see Big Mean Carl right in front of us, and he looks hungry. "Mmmm! Fast food!" he bellows, opening his mouth eagerly. Fortunately, we manage to dodge him. Rizzo the Rat appears on our left, holding a camera, and takes our picture... for some reason. We're heading right towards a door marked "PROP ROOM. FULL OF FRAGILE THINGS, UNSAFE THINGS, THINGS YOU REALLY DO NOT WANT TO, SAY, FLY A ROCKET INTO. AND DON'T SAY THAT I DIDN'T WARN YOU." Through the door we crash, finding ourselves in the studio's enormous plot room.

Among the things lying around are a book, presumably Fozzie's, with "HOW TO BE FUNNY, BY J. JUHL" written on the cover, Kermit's banjo, a bunch of cardboard cutouts, Gonzo's motorcycle, the SwineTrek spaceship, and - as a reference to Muppet-Vision 3D, the VaccuuMuppet and the cannon used by the Swedish Chef. We promptly fly right into the Hispanolia from Muppet Treasure Island, sending splinters flying everywhere (the splinters are achieved via projection-mapping and quick blasts of air).

Leading the room, we see that several splinters have pinned Kermit to the wall. "Gonzo, could you be a pal and explain to me just what, exactly, is going on?!" the frog nervously asks Gonzo, who's hanging from the rafters of the ceiling. "No need to get bent out-of-shape, Kermit. I'm just teaching these guys how to ride rockets," Gonzo replies. "Look at them! They're having a blast!" This is the cue for Crazy Harry to suddenly appear on our right, holding TNT, and shout, "DID SOMEBODY SAY 'BLAST'?!" "NOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Kermit screams just before Harry pushes the plunger. KA-BOOM! What better way to end this attraction than with an enormous Mr. Toad-esque explosion?

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Fortunately, our rocket begins to slow down after that. As it returns to the same slow pace that it flew at the beginning of the ride, we see Gonzo, being chewed out by an aggravated Kermit. "Gonzo, did it ever occur to you that this was not a very good idea?! Letting tourists ride around the studio on out-of-control rockets?!" the frog demands. "Okay, so maybe this didn't go as well as I was hoping it would..." Gonzo admits sheepishly. "Didn't go as well as you thought it would?! One of your quote-unquote 'students' could've gotten seriously hurt! And I don't think there's one room in this building that you DIDN'T damage!" Kermit points out. "Don't worry, Kermit," Gonzo replies. "In my NEXT class, we'll go over knife-throwing. What could possibly go wrong with THAT?" Kermit's response to that is, "I can think of several different things..." Turning away from this scene, we arrive in the unload area, where we can finally get out of our rocket and leave the studio.

Making our way down the exit hallway, however, we come across Rizzo again. He's set up a small stand with a sign reading "ON-RIDE PHOTOS, JUST FIVE BUCKS". Which explains why he took our picture before, doesn't it? As we walk by, Rizzo offers to sell us our photo for just five dollars... in black-and-white. Color photos cost ten dollars extra. Or, you can get TWO on-ride photos for FIFTY dollars. Take your pick.

With its track that splits in two twice, no two rides on The Great Gonzo's Daredevil Academy are the same. This madcap, chaotic, fun-for-the-whole-family dark ride is sure to have guests coming back for another lesson in stunt-performing with Gonzo.
 

WaltWiz1901

Well-Known Member
While the Great Muppet Movie Ride would have been cool to see......NGL, I prefer this Muppets dark ride concept by a large margin!

I'm picturing what each scene would look like (particularly on an E-ticket scale), and it is that tempting enough for me to put this into a Muppet land in a resort I had been brainstorming
 

CowBella's BFF

New Member
Muppet land in a resort I had been brainstorming
oh how I'd love to spend a vacation there...
or my whole retirement!!

can Gonzo & Rizzo sleep in my room?
We can string up hammocks for them, suspended over my bed, so they can later jump down onto plush pillows and spend the night
in warmth, in comfort, and in my arms for all-night snuggles đź’•

Then, I can have breakfast with them and Kermie & Miss Piggy...
afterward me & Piggy can spend an entire "day of beauty" at the resort's spa, where Rizzo's companions (like 4 or 5 adorable rats) can massage my back at the same time...
Then, Piggy and I can meet up again with Kermie and the gang,
all of us relaxing at the beach, on various sized chaise lounges, while sipping refreshing fruity cocktails from coconut shells...

Weekend camping trips with precious little Robin and his Frog Scout buddies... Uncle Kermie (clad in his camp-leader's neckerchief) telling us stories around the campfire... I wanna share my sleeping bag with Robin in Uncle Kermie's tent, meanwhile Piggy will probably prefer glamping comfort in a luxury camper...

Oh please make a Muppetland Resort!
 

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