I get back from an early screening of Disney's Cars last week, and friends I was troubled. TROUBLED. Not by the photo-real Fox Sports-ready racetrack scenes, the shiny, nicely articulated auto-characters, or the wondrous voice work of, say, Paul Newman.
But by the boring, boring BORING tale they're tucked in. Barely a laugh. Aside from Newman, the voices don't register. Sentimental worked in Toy Story, but not slow and sentimental.
And then I browse Time magazine, and the headline for a piece by critic and animation buff Richard Corliss says "The first great movie of the summer."
I chortle. I do that. We're all going to have our own opinions. But I wonder about the status of Corliss' mortal soul. Exactly what deal with the Disney and Pixar DOES one make to get the chance to post the first review of a movie that has a lot riding on it?
Time does this all the time. They're given an audience. Early. They then pronounce something a masterpiece, weeks ahead of anybody else, and tend to drive the tone of the criticism of that movie. It worked with The Incredibles, a movie I found wanting in the kid-friendly and big-laughs departments. Suddenly, everbody's seeing what Time saw in it.
It blew up in a different studio's collective faces with Munich, which found itself the victim of a news-mag pronouncement backlash. "Not so fast," we all said. And after middling reviews (which didn't hurt, but didn't help), the movie tanked.
Didn't happen with Da Vinci. Sony, by making everybody see it at pretty much the same time, had to be shocked when EVERYBODY pretty much came to the same conclusion about their movie.
But when you can promise somebody early, early access and all but guarentee friendly treatment in return, why wouldn't a studio show its stuff to a news mag?
As for Cars, well, maybe this summer hasn't produced a great movie yet. Water is a summer movie. And United 93 sort of qualifies as summer.
And Corliss doesn't write the headlines. But he did say "an instant classic." 'Tisn't. Not even remotely. It isn't even as good as Over the Hedge. Here's another early view. And another. The ever-lightweight Travers at Rolling Stone didn't go even close to all-out for this one. Not a good sign.
But will the reviews reflect a scattering of pans or lukewarm endorsements? Or will reviewers, like lemmings, fall in line behind Time?
Time, ahem, will tell. It opens June 9. Look for my full review then.
