Trip Report Nope, too busy. Nuh-uh, too long. Nah, not a chance.

So, a quick introduction since this is my first trip report.

I'm Brett. For those of you who don't know, Disney recruits CM's from abroad to work in various spots in the parks to lend them some authenticity. They call it the Cultural Representative Program (CRP). It's similar to the College Program, except you don't have to be in college - just culturally "authentic" by (very slightly racist) Disney standards.

In 2010, I stumbled on the CRP while researching ghost effects for a play (ghost effects = Haunted Mansion = link to the program). I was planning a US roadtrip anyway, so it seemed like a pretty neat solution. To be honest though, I was in two minds about applying, as I was 26 at the time and (finally) thinking about setting down roots somewhere.

Which is where WDWMagic comes in. Endless research (I love me some research) led me here, and I quickly discovered the trip report section. A big shout out and heartfelt thank you to @HollyBelle, whose trip reports are what finally tipped me over the edge and made me submit the application. My sole experience of "theme parks" up to that point had been the rundown seaside carnival in Durban, where the biggest thrill was the possibility of getting knifed. I was worried about things being kitsch or childish, and these trip reports reassured me that it would be awesome.

I ended up starting at DAK Lodge in August 2011, and working for the Mouse till Oct 2012. It was the best year (and a bit) of my life to date - I had drunk the Disney Koolaid.

After Mickey had shown up to give us our nametags at Traditions. Those figures are toys I won for being all knowledgeable and stuff. To be fair, pretty much everybody had at least one.
​

Now, the Disney visa (the Q1, basically invented by Disney back when Epcot Center was about to open) allowed 30 days after the work period to be at large in the States, so I planned a big roadtrip instead of taking little holidays here and there. However, because I extended my contract, I lost out on those 30 days - I had to leave the country the day after my official end date.

One trip I DID manage to do was a jaunt down to Miami to watch WrestleMania 28.

I actually sat in the white chairs on the middle right over there.

It. Was. Glorious. So when 2013 rolled around, I decided to make up for my lack of travelling and head back to watch WrestleMania 29 in New York, and see some East Coast sights. Which of course, included Disney. And since three's a charm, WrestleMania 30 in New Orleans beckoned. I originally planned a 6 week megatrip, but life got in the way and I had to slim it down to 2 weeks. And of course, I had to squeeze in some Disney time.

I'm lucky enough to have never paid for entry into the parks, and this trip would carry on that tradition, as my CM buddies would be getting me in. This affects my tripping style - I'm far more relaxed about things than I suspect most people are. Also, because they're doing me a huge favour, everything is on their time, so I'm rarely in the parks before 10am. They also don't necessarily want to spend all their time in the parks, and I'd rather hang out with them, so there's some off-property shenanigans in here as well.

All this wasn't a problem in 2013, but WrestleMania dates this year put my Disney trip smack bang in the middle of Spring Break. No problem, I thought.

But I was wrong.

 

[LeCellier.Lover]

Can't wait to read more!
So cool you were able to do the program! I've been dreaming about doing the college program since I was in 8th grade (now I'm a sophomore in college) haha, but being a collegiate athlete is kinda getting in the way a little bit..

 

[abnorman]

DAY 1 - Friday 28 March

After a quick and painless flight from DC, I arrived at that cheapest of on-site options - All Star Sports. With the CM discount, it's about as cheap as other comparable off-site hotels. Check-in was fairly quiet, which furthered my "Spring Break won't be so bad" mentality.


Ah, lonely red balloon. Your sacrifice will not be forgotten.

My best Disney buddy still works at DAK Lodge, so once we'd checked in, she drove us back there so she could finish up her work day. I always make it a point to visit the lodge, get all nostalgic, and chat to the new cultural representatives (you should too! It can get intensely boring out there on the savannah).

But the main attraction, as always, is zebra domes.


Mmm, little balls of things that don't taste like zebra at all (I know - I've had zebra).



Quick snap of the Jambo House lobby. If you spy a savannah guide wandering around with a prop in hand, get a-chatting, and you might score a personal tour down one of the trails to find some animals.



The new (permanent) fireplace for Rec on Arusha Rock. The Savannah Guides and Rec had a very rocky relationship - management was trying to merge our teams when I was there and it caused a lot of ill will and misunderstanding.

While I was on Arusha, my friend called me to let me know she had just about had enough of work, so we got in the car, shot off to pick up her husband, then headed to Epcot.


Spaceship Earth's queue was fine, but we were on our way to Soarin'



Unfortunately, when we arrived at a FP+ kiosk, it was too late to get a Soarin' FP, so I figured I'd pop in at some other point (oh, the naivete). It was definitely a disadvantage not being able to book FP+ ahead of time due to getting in on a CM's main gate pass. The system needs some work to enable a pleasant "on-the-day" experience. Though arriving at 4ish was probably not the smartest choice.

Since Soarin' is my only "must-do" at Epcot, we decided to hit the World Showcase for some Flower & Garden snacks. Mmm, snacks.

I started with a Dole Whip & Coconut Rum, which was OK (my personal favourite Dole Whip is an orange/pineapple swirl. You can keep your float).

Next up was the baked potato and cheddar cheese biscuit with smoked salmon tartare from Buttercup Cottage It was great, though I'd probably have preferred the sausage roll.




Hook wasn't too happy about the Spring Break crowds either.

A quick stop in Morocco...


I love lamp.


And a swing by Hanami in Japan to pick up a (fantastic) Orange Mango Slushie...



And our patience for crowds was drawing to an end. Back in the CM days, you either just avoided the parks in busy season, or dipped a toe in and decided it wasn't worth it. Anything with a wait over 20 minutes automatically got skipped. Very snobby.

On our way out, we popped into Japan's shop to see if I could find anything awesome for my newborn nephew. Tons of excellent stuff, but not the right vibe.



We also stopped in America to grab a bacon cupcake, but I was too full so I skipped it. Much regret. Wow.









I figured I'd simply come back at some point to get on Soarin' - little did I know that this was it for Epcot on this trip. Goodbye, I guess?

We met up with some friends at Sea Dog Brewing Company at Crossroads (a popular haunt for program CM's, as all the accommodation is just across the I4) and then hit Player One, a video game bar - you could play games at the bar while you waited for your drink, or hit any of the arcade machines or consoles set up around the place. I was far too exhausted to enjoy it fully though.


But I DID enjoy my alcoholic root beer. Mmm, alcohol.


TV's above the bar so you could play games and drink - easily two of the best things to do.



Eventually, we called it a night and I got to return to AS Sports, with a promise that I'd be sleeping in the next day. Y'see, in 2 days in DC, I'd walked about 25 miles (I LOVE walking) in new, slightly wrong-fit shoes, and my feet were killing me. They wouldn't recover for the entire trip, but I took every opportunity to give them some rest.


I slam dunked right into dreamland.

Up next... more disastrously crowded exploits at DAK.

 

[abnorman]

DAY 2 - Saturday 29 March

After a less-than-satisfying sleep in, we headed to Animal Kingdom. I hadn't been there on the previous year's trip, so this time it was a must. Even before I left the hotel though, the storm clouds were a-brewin'.


Because of the crowds, weather and my general level of exhaustion, I wasn't even trying to take interesting photos at this point. I was basically running down a checklist - not a great way to get things done.


Ah, the Tree of Life, through a seething mass of humanity.



We headed straight for Everest, as that and FotLK are the main attractions for me and FotLK was obviously down (on a non-stormy day, DAK is the greatest park to just walk around in). We knew we were fighting a losing battle - the smell of rain was thick in the air.

We got an Everest FP+ on the way, but it was for hours away, so we decided to just hit the single rider line.


As we got to this point, the first drops of rain started falling.

I guess it's been a while since I've been on Everest, because once it was over (Disco Yeti in full force, of course), I was wrecked. The threat of rain, the massive crowds - this was not a pleasant trip. I like to take my time in DAK, enjoy the space. Today, there was no space, only bodies.

We decided to call it. On our way out - rain still just holding off - we hurried onto Dinosaur, not willing to admit defeat.








Dinosaur didn't exactly help with my ongoing nausea, and to top it off when we exited, the rain was out in full force - the kind of rain where you have to raise your voice like you're in a dramatic action scene. We bolted out of the park, getting soaked while stuck behind the mass of people trying to do the same. My friends hit the tram to their car, I got the bus back to Sports to change into some dry clothes.

Though I didn't really think about it at the time, my attraction count for 2 days stood at an abysmal 2! I know I'm relaxed about that kind of thing, but even for me, that's pretty poor.

But none of this mattered right now, because right now it was time for the Hoop Dee Doo! The rain let up as we arrived at Fort Wilderness and met up with our group of 8.


I would probably kill people for this cornbread. It's so good.


One of the few times I missed having a camera that can zoom. I did my whole trip with a Fuji X100s, which has a fixed focal length. It's an awesome little camera, but was obviously lacking in zoomage (that's a word, promise).




Glorious.




This was all that was left by the time I remembered to stop stuffing my face and take pictures. Sorry.


I was picked on early for being from South Africa, with the actor saying "Oh, we're definitely going to have to use you later". Knowing what was coming, I was relieved when that actor went to another table to pick somebody for the final scenes, and somebody else in our party got chosen to prove her can-can abilities.

The Hoop Dee Doo was great, as always. Just fun dinner theatre, and the kind of comfort food that I love.

Because it was an early show, after it finished, we strolled past the stables, which basically turned into a whole bunch of CM's touching the horses despite the numerous no-touching signs. Tsktsktsk.



The night was still young, so we decided to head to Downtown Disney, which was a madhouse. We headed to Splitsville, but with a 2 hour wait we decided we'd just go do some shopping instead.



Not only did I grab a Pooh bear and Sully plush for my nephew (as well as a Mickey onesie, complete with tail!), but we saw short-shorts dancer guy!


It was like seeing a celebrity.


We kept bumping into him on our way over to the Marketplace.


Some high quality stuff here... "Melting face nightmare doll - for kids whose parents don't really love them"


After a successful shopping trip (oh, how I love thee, CM discount), we retreated to an Irish pub not called Raglan Road, and not located in the throng of DTD.



Up next... The least successful trip to DHS possibly ever.

 

[Sheena]

Awesome! Can't wait to hear the rest!

 

[abnorman]

DAY 3 - SUNDAY 30 MARCH

I had 3 goals today: get onto Soarin', hit the Tower of Terror (my favourite ride), and sample the crazy Peanut butter, banana and candied bacon pie from the Boardwalk Bakery.

We made our way to the Boardwalk at about 10am to park the car, and headed off to Epcot.



We were immediately disappointed: Soarin' fastpasses were GONE. The excruciating power of spring break was making itself known again. A quick discussion, and we decided that I would simply come back tomorrow before Magic Kingdom - since my friends would be at work, they were giving me a comp ticket, so I could arrive super early to get everything done.

With that decided, we popped through the International Gateway to France for a light breakfast...



... and then walked over to Hollywood Studios. This is literally the only picture I've got:



We got in, fought our way through the crowds to the FP+ kiosk, waited in a stupidly long line, then found out the ToT return time was around 5pm. Yikes. Thanks, but no thanks. Add it to the (increasingly impossible) list of things for me to do tomorrow. We considered doing something else at DHS, but the crowds were icky, and we decided against it.

We made our way back to the Boardwalk, feeling strangely chipper about our two major fails. Maybe it was because we were about to have this bad boy:



It was soooo good. It kinda made up for our lack of park success. While we ate, we finalised our plans for that afternoon: we were off to the World of Beer. My friends are regulars, and they were only a few beers away from joining the 100 Club. We stopped at a comic book store on the way to pick up a card game to play while getting plastered.


It's because I didn't do the Tower of Terror, isn't it?




I can't remember the name of the game, but the idea was to make sure your gloomy family had a miserable life, and then died with as many negative points as possible. Good fun.


Google informs me that this game is called Corn Hole as I try to suppress a giggle.




That was pretty much all we did today. I know, right? Thoroughly cheerful (except for our poor designated driver), we made our way back onsite, and I relaxed at Sports with a pizza from the new & improved food court.

Trip attraction count: still 2! In 3 days!

Up next: Will I actually manage to get anything done at the Magic Kingdom?

 

[Disney Shib]

Loving this report.

 

[FlaggNL]

Great report! Can't wait for the rest