The hardware to do this kind of stuff is...expensive. (to say the least).
My personal choice is software hooked up to a netbook (which I always have on me as well) to do all my controls on my camera when I'm shooting on a more "non-recreational" situation.
Here are a few that should work for you if you want to go that route:
Most expensive option is the one directly from nikon...
The great things about these software packages (well..not sure about the one from nikon as i never use it), is it adds functionality that was "left out" of a camera (such as auto bracketing for the D3000/D3100), as its really basically macroing everything for you.
*EDIT* just found a free one that works for some and not for others..worth a shot tho..