Jungle Cruise Jokes

[Foltzy]

Hey guys,

This year visiting I had the worst skipper for jokes ever on JC. He really only told the classics and had almost no enthusiasm. I'll give him credit though for doing his performance day in and day out.
I was bummed I didn't get any originals. So I wanna hear some goof original jokes.

What are the best jokes you've heard on JC. And I'm not looking for classics like traders Sams deal with heads.

 

[TB4244]

You need to listen to 'Skipper Dan' by Weird Al. That says it all.

 

[Redsky89]

I had a skipper one time who had zero enthusiasm but you could tell it was part of the act. Had me laughin the whole time.

 

[Foltzy]

You need to listen to 'Skipper Dan' by Weird Al. That says it all.

The song is... Different. In a good way.

It's funny how it's true how working at a theme park (even if it is disney) is kinda sad.

 

[bethymouse]

The last "skipper" we had was a girl, and she tried to make everyone laugh, but was very unsuccessful! So... she just continued with the same old tired jokes of old with no enthusiasm.

 

[crazgurl]

not sure if a "classic" or not but the one that killed me on my last trip was when we saw the downed plane, the skipper said there was only one logical explanation: hippos.... anti-aircraft hippos

 

[Sweet Melissa]

For the last few years, I don't think the skippers have gone off-script much. They seem to have really toned down the original jokes.

 

[ajrwdwgirl]

I can't think of any originals right now, but I do love the joke about the sandstone and how most people just take it for granite. We had a really bad skipper once, it was me hubby and an older couple. So the skipper wasn't doing any of the jokes, instead he was giving us factual information about animals, like we were on the safaris at AK. So I started saying the jokes to my husband, the other couple heard and started laughing. So then the skipper started telling some of the jokes, but it was poor delivery.

 

[AndyS2992]

Back in 2008 we got on pretty late in the evening and the boat was all adults and so the jokes got pretty crude very quickly and it was hilarious. Not sure if this is actually a thing Disney allows the skippers to do since it wasn't exactly family friendly but was great none the less.

 

[ShoalFox]

When I went in July, the skipper delivered it in a deadpan, but everybody including myself still laughed nonetheless. Then again, I hadn't ridden JC since 2009.

 

[Blackburn23]

2008 my wife and I did a late night ride, had a young, over tired Brazilian guide and he set the bar so high I doubt I ever enjoy the ride like that again. He went non stop with vintage, new, and random jokes, sound effects, and a lot of movement. Just incredible. That's why I always so go at night when the skippers are juiced to wrap up and give it one last push!

 

[WondersOfLife]

Hey guys,

This year visiting I had the worst skipper for jokes ever on JC. He really only told the classics and had almost no enthusiasm. I'll give him credit though for doing his performance day in and day out.
I was bummed I didn't get any originals. So I wanna hear some goof original jokes.

What are the best jokes you've heard on JC. And I'm not looking for classics like traders Sams deal with heads.

My all time favorite has always been when we pass the tribal guys attacking the boats with spears.. "Oh no everyone look out!! Look-- Oh, oh c'mon guys! That was pathetic! Yea, yea you go hide back in your bushes. There's another boat coming in a few seconds. Get your act together."

 

[Tom]

I've become quite critical of skippers in recent years. But I also listen to a lot of stand-up comedy and there are only a few certain styles of humor and delivery that make me laugh. Very dry and deadpan is my favorite. For JC, I also enjoy a natural delivery that doesn't have the intonation and inflection of one-liners. We've had a couple skippers in recent history who made me laugh out loud, using old and classic jokes. It's all about delivery.

 

[lazyboy97o]

Disney pretty much does not allow original jokes. Unfortunately the Jungle Cruise also suffers from being treated like any other position, meaning anyone can be placed there.

 

[Tom Morrow]

Yeah if you get lots of custom jokes, they are kinda sorta bending the rules.

 

[BoarderPhreak]

I too am rather critical of the skippers. Gawd knows I've been on JC so many times that I could do the schpiel myself (it's one of my favorite rides). I can appreciate though, that comedy isn't everyone's forté. Regardless of delivery though, I know the joke and they make me chuckle anyway.

I do think some fresh material being mixed in would keep it interesting though. Sort of a "never know what you'll get" experience.

Don't worry, they'll get it... In the end.

 

[G00fyDad]

I cannot think of a specific joke our skipper told, but in all the years we have been going it has only ever been just above boring listening to the skippers until this past trip. She was fantastic. New jokes mixed with some of the old, but hilarious all the same. For the first time in seemingly forever we were actually laughing loudly at her routine.

 

[RMichael21]

At DL in July, we had an amazing skipper. He told countless jokes and a good portion of them were original. The thing that got me was that there was a kid on board celebrating his birthday and he was sung a happy birthday song by the skipper. (I had never seen one of these before so the song was new).

"This is your birthday song, it isn't very long." Needless to say, he was super embarrassed and was the first person off the boat and sprinted away ahead of his parents...