I've had this idea in the back of my mind for a while now, and I thought I'd share it with you guys. We've all heard of the classic children's book Miss Nelson is Missing!, right? Well, a woman named Joan Cushing, best know for her political satire and her character "Miss Foggybottom", adapted it for the stage, complete with songs. I've seen bits and pieces of this show on YouTube and I decided to see what it would look like if it was adapted for film. Although my idea is to have it be animated, it wouldn't be a theatrical release; more like a television special. With that in mind, here we go.
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Miss Nelson is Missing!
Adapted from the books "Miss Nelson is Missing!" and "Miss Nelson is Back" written by Harry Allard and James Marshall, and the musical by Joan Cushing
Layout by DisneyManOne
It's another day at the Horace B. Smedley Elementary School. Morning assembly is being held, which ends with a well-sung group of nine children singing the school's "Alma Mater". Such singing is observed by the school's janitor, wise old Pop Hanson, who reminds us that looks can be deceiving. As the song ends, we follow Pop through the halls as he explains his connections with the students here. He comments on how he's always sad to see the students leave for middle school...that is, except for one: the class of Room 207. They have something of a bad reputation among the school, and their teacher, a beautiful, kind-hearted young lady named Miss Nelson, is completely at a loss on how to deal with them.
We find Miss Nelson in her classroom, preparing a math lesson. Suddenly, she is interrupted by the oncoming patter of running footsteps. Bursting through the door come her students: Adam, Allison, Cheryl, Mindy, Gregory, Karen, Sarah, and the twins, Gary and Larry. We soon realize that these are the same kids that sang the Alma Mater. To think they seemed so perfect! Almost immediately, misbehavior begins within the walls of Room 207. Spitballs and paper planes whiz through the air. Allison jumps rope. Sarah, incapable of sitting, handstands. Larry protects himself from spitballs by putting a wastepaper basket on his head. Miss Nelson, who never raises her voice above a shout, attempts to begin her math lesson, discussing square roots. The kids ignore her. When one child--Gregory--attempts to answer, a sharp glare from the other eight intimidates him into lowering his hand. Stepping out briefly to talk to Pop, Miss Nelson bemoans her situation ("The Worst Kids of All--Part 1").
Returning to class, Miss Nelson decides to talk about geography, but that too fails as the kids are deliberately giving wrong answers. Miss Nelson decides to move on to story time. They are reading Pinocchio. But even during story time, the kids are just horrid! But do you think the kids care? Nope! They know full well of their reputation, and they're proud of it! ("The Worst Kids of All--Part 2"). The bell rings, signaling lunch/recess. The kids exit in a blur. Pop steps in to clean up the mess left behind by the students. He offers Miss Nelson some advice...and some harsh truths. He tells her that she's just too nice, and that students like these need a firm hand. She admits her niceness is a problem, but worries she can't do anything about it. By her admission, this was a quiet day! Pop tells her "You can't get a new face", and offers hope that she'll be able to fix the problem soon. It's clear: Something will have to be done!
Tuesday arrives. The kids are still misbehaving. But then, who should step in but Principal Blandsworth with some news: Miss Nelson will not be coming in! A substitute will be in shortly. Blandsworth admits that he'd love to substitute himself, but alas, the responsibilities of being principal are too many. He does stay behind, though, to explain to the kids what he'd do if he were substitute: namely, showing off his hobbies: bird calls, ball-point pen collecting, shadow puppetry and looking after his goldfish, Lucille ("Carried Away"). The kids toss him out and revel in the fact that they're getting a substitute. Apparently, their track record with substitutes is just as bad as their track record with Miss Nelson! The kids decide to "just be terrible" today, to go the whole hog and be the absolute worst they can be, and the pandemonium kicks into levels unseen before!
We cut outside the classroom. A dark shadow approaches the door. Back inside, the lights suddenly snap off. The door slams open. The kids cower in the shadow of whoever is standing in the doorway. It speaks: "Not...so...fast." Turning on the light, the figure is revealed to be a woman who looks like a distant relative to the Wicked Witch of the West: ugly in the face, wearing all black, wielding a ruler like a soldier wields a sword. When nervously asked who she is, she responds: "I'm your new teacher: Miss Viola Swamp!" It is clear that this woman is nothing like Miss Nelson. She demands the students return to their seats and take out their math books. For once in their lives, the kids...respond, doing exactly as she says. Miss Swamp lays down the law: she means business and japes and jokery are not permitted in her house ("The Swamp Song--Part 1"). Discipline, discipline, discipline is her way of teaching. Even the smallest slip will spell big trouble. "School is not a romp", she sings. "Woe to those who misbehave!" The math lesson begins, and wouldn't you know it, the kids are actually responding accurately!
Pop brings us ahead in time. It is now Thursday, and Miss Swamp has been teaching the children of Room 207 for over two whole weeks! He points out that the students are behaving much better now...but they are certainly not having fun! Miss Swamp has even taken away their story time privilege! Pop points out that, much to his surprise, the kids are actually starting to miss Miss Nelson, and are wondering if she'll ever come back! The bell rings, but before the students can leave, Miss Swamp doles out complex homework assignment after complex homework assignment, all of which are "due tomorrow"! ("The Swamp Song--Part 2")
Friday comes. We find the students making last-minute adjustments on their homework, marveling at how hard it was. Some students even worked all night, but only worked on one subject! Miss Swamp enters to tell them that they will be taking a field trip, which brightens the kids' spirits. On the Monday before Miss Nelson left, she had reminded them that they would be taking a field trip to the zoo in two weeks. But Miss Swamp instantly squashes such ideas. "Only good children get to go to the zoo", she explains. Marching them out single-file, military-style, she announces their new location will be the Museum of Crime and Punishment! Once there, they meet up with their guide, a New York gangster-esque fellow by the name of Al Catraz. He shows them first the fedora of one Al Capone. The kids are in awe, but Miss Swamp points out what became of Capone: he turned to a life of crime. Catraz even reveals Capone's first paper airplane, causing Adam--whose trademark was paper airplanes--to cower in fear. The tour continues, showcasing relics from the childhoods of famous criminals like Babyface Nelson and Bonnie and Clyde, relics which bear a striking resemblance to the forms of misbehavior that the kids of Room 207 got into. Through "The Crime and Punishment Tango", Swamp and Catraz warn the children that if one remains bad throughout their childhood, they will only grow into bad adults. To emphasize this point, Swamp and Catraz dress the nine children in prison uniforms and handcuffs, take their mugshots and even fingerprint them. The kids fall to the floor in front of the two adults, begging and pleading for Miss Nelson to return.
The bus arrives back at Horace B. The nine children are pale, shell-shocked. As Miss Swamp leads them back to their classroom for the usual end-of-school homework assignment, Sarah lags behind and asks Pop if he knows what happened to Miss Nelson. He responds: "Sorry, kiddo. All I know is that...Miss Nelson is missing." The kids, having decided to take action, are shocked by such a revelation, and decide to head over to Miss Nelson's house to see if they could talk to her. Much to their surprise, the shades are drawn and the door is locked. Even worse, Miss Swamp is coming their way! Taking recluse at a park not too far away, the kids fear that Miss Nelson may have run afoul of something bad, and ideas start flying around as to what could have happened to her ("What If?"). Karen suggests going to the police station and filing a "Missing Persons" report. They opt to go down on Saturday, if only so they can spend their Friday night delving into their latest complex homework assignment.
However, at the police station, they come across Detective McSmogg, a Colombo wannabe who is not exactly, shall we say, "all-in" regarding the brains department. He can't even get Miss Nelson's name right! Nonetheless, the kids request his help and he forms an elaborate plan to search the world in order to find their missing teacher ("McSmogg Is Here!"). Doubting McSmogg's plan will succeed, the kids head down to Lulu's to drown their sorrows in ice cream. The kids have realized that one thing is absolutely crystal clear: they were the reason Miss Nelson had left. Their bad behavior had finally driven her away. As a last-ditch resort, the kids decide to write her an apology letter, telling her that they recognize they were bad, telling her of the horrid Viola Swamp, and telling her that they intend to make a permanent change in their behavior, and will gladly demonstrate it if she comes back ("Miss Nelson is Missing"). Despondent, they send the letter off to Miss Nelson's house, and go their separate ways.
It's another Monday. Another school week has begun. Pop tells us how glad he is to see these children acting so much better. Not only are they helping each other out, and going over notes, but they're helping Pop to clean around the classroom! Pop leaves, telling them their teacher will be in in just a few moments. Adam leads them in going over their unison world capital recitation, which is interrupted by the sound of footsteps. Instantly, they sit down and sit straight in their seats, expecting Miss Swamp to enter.
A sweet voice greets them. Yes, Miss Nelson has returned! The children joyously rush up to her and give her a group hug. When asked where she had been, she merely replies, "That's my little secret." She is surprised to hear that they missed her, and offers a story. She resumes the tale of Pinocchio, recounting the moment when Pinocchio is finally turned into a real boy. The children realize that, like Pinocchio, they have proved themselves brave, trustworthy and unselfish, not to mention obedient and respectful. Miss Nelson is pleased to see such a change in behavior and asks them what happened. Gregory replies "That's our little secret." Miss Nelson moves on to another subject, as we zoom out of the school. Later that night, we find Miss Nelson getting ready for bed. She sings to us about the secret she had been carrying ("I've Got a Little Secret"). As she sings, more and more clues become apparent--a black dress in her wardrobe, extensive makeup and a wig on her vanity, and familiar striped leggings under her nightgown. That's right, my friends: Miss Viola Swamp was merely Miss Nelson in a clever disguise!
Another day dawns on the Horace B. Smedley Elementary School. The kids are once again singing the "Alma Mater". Pop looks on in pride and tells us that the children were so overjoyed to have Miss Nelson back, that they decided to forgo their bad behavior entirely. Room 207 is now the best behaved class in the whole school! However, Pop is surprised to see Detective McSmogg searching the halls outside the auditorium. Pop steps out to tell him that there's nothing to worry about. "Miss Nelson has come back", he says. "The case is closed." "Or so you think", McSmogg responds. "I'm working on a new case. I'm now looking for...Miss Viola Swamp."
The Alma Mater sung, the kids take the opportunity to talk about how much they have learned in the past couple of weeks. They jubilantly sing of their change in behavior. No longer can they be called the "worst kids of all"! However, their song is heckled by the children of another classroom--Room 309, to be precise. Their teacher bemoans their bad behavior. Miss Nelson, who is sitting nearby, leans over and whispers to him, "We should talk." As the song continues, the kids' melody is counterpointed with Miss Nelson singing of her secret. Under this song, we see Blandsworth substituting for Room 207, just as he always wanted. The kids are paying attention. Some are even interested in Blandsworth's hobbies! As the song reaches an end, the dreaded Viola Swamp approaches the door of Room 309. But before she steps in, turns to us, and slyly says--in Miss Nelson's voice--"I'll never tell." The song ends on a triumphant note, as Miss Swamp steps into the classroom, her slamming the door timed perfectly to the final note ("Finale: The Worst Kids of All/I've Got a Little Secret (Reprise)").
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And there we have it! What do you think?
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Miss Nelson is Missing!
Adapted from the books "Miss Nelson is Missing!" and "Miss Nelson is Back" written by Harry Allard and James Marshall, and the musical by Joan Cushing
Layout by DisneyManOne
It's another day at the Horace B. Smedley Elementary School. Morning assembly is being held, which ends with a well-sung group of nine children singing the school's "Alma Mater". Such singing is observed by the school's janitor, wise old Pop Hanson, who reminds us that looks can be deceiving. As the song ends, we follow Pop through the halls as he explains his connections with the students here. He comments on how he's always sad to see the students leave for middle school...that is, except for one: the class of Room 207. They have something of a bad reputation among the school, and their teacher, a beautiful, kind-hearted young lady named Miss Nelson, is completely at a loss on how to deal with them.
We find Miss Nelson in her classroom, preparing a math lesson. Suddenly, she is interrupted by the oncoming patter of running footsteps. Bursting through the door come her students: Adam, Allison, Cheryl, Mindy, Gregory, Karen, Sarah, and the twins, Gary and Larry. We soon realize that these are the same kids that sang the Alma Mater. To think they seemed so perfect! Almost immediately, misbehavior begins within the walls of Room 207. Spitballs and paper planes whiz through the air. Allison jumps rope. Sarah, incapable of sitting, handstands. Larry protects himself from spitballs by putting a wastepaper basket on his head. Miss Nelson, who never raises her voice above a shout, attempts to begin her math lesson, discussing square roots. The kids ignore her. When one child--Gregory--attempts to answer, a sharp glare from the other eight intimidates him into lowering his hand. Stepping out briefly to talk to Pop, Miss Nelson bemoans her situation ("The Worst Kids of All--Part 1").
Returning to class, Miss Nelson decides to talk about geography, but that too fails as the kids are deliberately giving wrong answers. Miss Nelson decides to move on to story time. They are reading Pinocchio. But even during story time, the kids are just horrid! But do you think the kids care? Nope! They know full well of their reputation, and they're proud of it! ("The Worst Kids of All--Part 2"). The bell rings, signaling lunch/recess. The kids exit in a blur. Pop steps in to clean up the mess left behind by the students. He offers Miss Nelson some advice...and some harsh truths. He tells her that she's just too nice, and that students like these need a firm hand. She admits her niceness is a problem, but worries she can't do anything about it. By her admission, this was a quiet day! Pop tells her "You can't get a new face", and offers hope that she'll be able to fix the problem soon. It's clear: Something will have to be done!
Tuesday arrives. The kids are still misbehaving. But then, who should step in but Principal Blandsworth with some news: Miss Nelson will not be coming in! A substitute will be in shortly. Blandsworth admits that he'd love to substitute himself, but alas, the responsibilities of being principal are too many. He does stay behind, though, to explain to the kids what he'd do if he were substitute: namely, showing off his hobbies: bird calls, ball-point pen collecting, shadow puppetry and looking after his goldfish, Lucille ("Carried Away"). The kids toss him out and revel in the fact that they're getting a substitute. Apparently, their track record with substitutes is just as bad as their track record with Miss Nelson! The kids decide to "just be terrible" today, to go the whole hog and be the absolute worst they can be, and the pandemonium kicks into levels unseen before!
We cut outside the classroom. A dark shadow approaches the door. Back inside, the lights suddenly snap off. The door slams open. The kids cower in the shadow of whoever is standing in the doorway. It speaks: "Not...so...fast." Turning on the light, the figure is revealed to be a woman who looks like a distant relative to the Wicked Witch of the West: ugly in the face, wearing all black, wielding a ruler like a soldier wields a sword. When nervously asked who she is, she responds: "I'm your new teacher: Miss Viola Swamp!" It is clear that this woman is nothing like Miss Nelson. She demands the students return to their seats and take out their math books. For once in their lives, the kids...respond, doing exactly as she says. Miss Swamp lays down the law: she means business and japes and jokery are not permitted in her house ("The Swamp Song--Part 1"). Discipline, discipline, discipline is her way of teaching. Even the smallest slip will spell big trouble. "School is not a romp", she sings. "Woe to those who misbehave!" The math lesson begins, and wouldn't you know it, the kids are actually responding accurately!
Pop brings us ahead in time. It is now Thursday, and Miss Swamp has been teaching the children of Room 207 for over two whole weeks! He points out that the students are behaving much better now...but they are certainly not having fun! Miss Swamp has even taken away their story time privilege! Pop points out that, much to his surprise, the kids are actually starting to miss Miss Nelson, and are wondering if she'll ever come back! The bell rings, but before the students can leave, Miss Swamp doles out complex homework assignment after complex homework assignment, all of which are "due tomorrow"! ("The Swamp Song--Part 2")
Friday comes. We find the students making last-minute adjustments on their homework, marveling at how hard it was. Some students even worked all night, but only worked on one subject! Miss Swamp enters to tell them that they will be taking a field trip, which brightens the kids' spirits. On the Monday before Miss Nelson left, she had reminded them that they would be taking a field trip to the zoo in two weeks. But Miss Swamp instantly squashes such ideas. "Only good children get to go to the zoo", she explains. Marching them out single-file, military-style, she announces their new location will be the Museum of Crime and Punishment! Once there, they meet up with their guide, a New York gangster-esque fellow by the name of Al Catraz. He shows them first the fedora of one Al Capone. The kids are in awe, but Miss Swamp points out what became of Capone: he turned to a life of crime. Catraz even reveals Capone's first paper airplane, causing Adam--whose trademark was paper airplanes--to cower in fear. The tour continues, showcasing relics from the childhoods of famous criminals like Babyface Nelson and Bonnie and Clyde, relics which bear a striking resemblance to the forms of misbehavior that the kids of Room 207 got into. Through "The Crime and Punishment Tango", Swamp and Catraz warn the children that if one remains bad throughout their childhood, they will only grow into bad adults. To emphasize this point, Swamp and Catraz dress the nine children in prison uniforms and handcuffs, take their mugshots and even fingerprint them. The kids fall to the floor in front of the two adults, begging and pleading for Miss Nelson to return.
The bus arrives back at Horace B. The nine children are pale, shell-shocked. As Miss Swamp leads them back to their classroom for the usual end-of-school homework assignment, Sarah lags behind and asks Pop if he knows what happened to Miss Nelson. He responds: "Sorry, kiddo. All I know is that...Miss Nelson is missing." The kids, having decided to take action, are shocked by such a revelation, and decide to head over to Miss Nelson's house to see if they could talk to her. Much to their surprise, the shades are drawn and the door is locked. Even worse, Miss Swamp is coming their way! Taking recluse at a park not too far away, the kids fear that Miss Nelson may have run afoul of something bad, and ideas start flying around as to what could have happened to her ("What If?"). Karen suggests going to the police station and filing a "Missing Persons" report. They opt to go down on Saturday, if only so they can spend their Friday night delving into their latest complex homework assignment.
However, at the police station, they come across Detective McSmogg, a Colombo wannabe who is not exactly, shall we say, "all-in" regarding the brains department. He can't even get Miss Nelson's name right! Nonetheless, the kids request his help and he forms an elaborate plan to search the world in order to find their missing teacher ("McSmogg Is Here!"). Doubting McSmogg's plan will succeed, the kids head down to Lulu's to drown their sorrows in ice cream. The kids have realized that one thing is absolutely crystal clear: they were the reason Miss Nelson had left. Their bad behavior had finally driven her away. As a last-ditch resort, the kids decide to write her an apology letter, telling her that they recognize they were bad, telling her of the horrid Viola Swamp, and telling her that they intend to make a permanent change in their behavior, and will gladly demonstrate it if she comes back ("Miss Nelson is Missing"). Despondent, they send the letter off to Miss Nelson's house, and go their separate ways.
It's another Monday. Another school week has begun. Pop tells us how glad he is to see these children acting so much better. Not only are they helping each other out, and going over notes, but they're helping Pop to clean around the classroom! Pop leaves, telling them their teacher will be in in just a few moments. Adam leads them in going over their unison world capital recitation, which is interrupted by the sound of footsteps. Instantly, they sit down and sit straight in their seats, expecting Miss Swamp to enter.
A sweet voice greets them. Yes, Miss Nelson has returned! The children joyously rush up to her and give her a group hug. When asked where she had been, she merely replies, "That's my little secret." She is surprised to hear that they missed her, and offers a story. She resumes the tale of Pinocchio, recounting the moment when Pinocchio is finally turned into a real boy. The children realize that, like Pinocchio, they have proved themselves brave, trustworthy and unselfish, not to mention obedient and respectful. Miss Nelson is pleased to see such a change in behavior and asks them what happened. Gregory replies "That's our little secret." Miss Nelson moves on to another subject, as we zoom out of the school. Later that night, we find Miss Nelson getting ready for bed. She sings to us about the secret she had been carrying ("I've Got a Little Secret"). As she sings, more and more clues become apparent--a black dress in her wardrobe, extensive makeup and a wig on her vanity, and familiar striped leggings under her nightgown. That's right, my friends: Miss Viola Swamp was merely Miss Nelson in a clever disguise!
Another day dawns on the Horace B. Smedley Elementary School. The kids are once again singing the "Alma Mater". Pop looks on in pride and tells us that the children were so overjoyed to have Miss Nelson back, that they decided to forgo their bad behavior entirely. Room 207 is now the best behaved class in the whole school! However, Pop is surprised to see Detective McSmogg searching the halls outside the auditorium. Pop steps out to tell him that there's nothing to worry about. "Miss Nelson has come back", he says. "The case is closed." "Or so you think", McSmogg responds. "I'm working on a new case. I'm now looking for...Miss Viola Swamp."
The Alma Mater sung, the kids take the opportunity to talk about how much they have learned in the past couple of weeks. They jubilantly sing of their change in behavior. No longer can they be called the "worst kids of all"! However, their song is heckled by the children of another classroom--Room 309, to be precise. Their teacher bemoans their bad behavior. Miss Nelson, who is sitting nearby, leans over and whispers to him, "We should talk." As the song continues, the kids' melody is counterpointed with Miss Nelson singing of her secret. Under this song, we see Blandsworth substituting for Room 207, just as he always wanted. The kids are paying attention. Some are even interested in Blandsworth's hobbies! As the song reaches an end, the dreaded Viola Swamp approaches the door of Room 309. But before she steps in, turns to us, and slyly says--in Miss Nelson's voice--"I'll never tell." The song ends on a triumphant note, as Miss Swamp steps into the classroom, her slamming the door timed perfectly to the final note ("Finale: The Worst Kids of All/I've Got a Little Secret (Reprise)").
==============================================================================
And there we have it! What do you think?
