Honeymoon mayhem... : ( (little long)

[redkenwolf]

Hello all, sorry I haven't posted anything in a long time. I've been really busy planning a wedding and we recently bought our first house- we are signing all the papers today!!! Well, I thought the one thing I wouldn't have to stress that much about is my honeymoon, here is my story.......

This starts with our engagement in DL in 2000. My fiance proposed to me in front of the castle. We got back home and his sister was kinda annoyed I think. She kept saying "oh I'm so happy you got my dream engagement, or Oh how funny, I thought I'd be the one to get engaged first- I shouldn't have told my brother about the dream enagement" Etc. Well my Fiance told me he had never even heard about her dream engagment...

Well in 2001 for her graduation my fiance's father sent her to WDW as a present. Her boyfriend went with her and proposed in WDW in front of the castle so hooray! she got her wish.....so she is getting married in 1 1/2 years.

HERE IS WHERE MY PROBLEM IS........My future husbands parents decided to pay for our trip to WDW for our honeymoon as a wedding present. My fiance and I decided to leave the day after our honeymoon, get the discovery package, and go for 7 days. We want a day of relaxation and a spa treatment and to do all the parks.

Well my future sister in law has been giving me "tips" on her trip to WDW (her first I might add). She has gone to her day (and my fi) and told him that she thinks it would be better if we change stuff. And telling her brother everything we should do because "I" would like it better as his wife.....BUT I WON'T. My fi keeps telling me what is going on because he loves me, but his dad is listening to her because he thinks she has our best interest at heart..... already our honeymoon has been moved from the Sunday after to Monday...."Because we needed that time to rest". She wants to make reservations at all the restaurants everynight...but I like to ride the rides and catch something quick to eat (maybe just one night of a nice dinner). She also wants to change our package to the Grand plan...(More stuff) and get us a moderate instead of the deluxe hotel (Because we apparently won't be spending much time there).

OK! Sorry I've needed to vent! I've already confronted her (nicely) and said I think it isn't her place to plan the honeymoon and that her tastes aren't ours. She calmly said OK, and then went to her brother whining about how she has our best interest at heart, how I was rude and said I didn't want her help. Now my fiance is telling me just to listen to her ideas because she has been there (even though I've been there 3 more times than her and to three more parks!!!!).

I'm just so frustrated! I finally blew up and said "I don't understand why you are doing all this....I never asked" and she said "Because I just love Disney so much! You'll understand someday" And I'm thinking are you crazy!!! I'm an avid B&TB collector, I've been to DL every year since I was 4 and been to WDW 4 times!!! I feel like I'm competing, trying to see who likes Disney better.......I don't know do I have a right to be totally annoyed!! My Bridesmaids just told me to ignore her because she is doing it with a loving heart and I shouldn't say something but I feel like my honeymoon dream is fading away..........advice please!

Thank you Disney lovers, I'm sure you'll understand!!

 

[JoeZerboy]

I can understand your conundrum...and I don't envy you.

My take on this would be to let her ramble on all she wants [as she seems jealous from what you have shared here] and tell your fiance and future father-in-law that since she is not going on this trip, to please not let her opinions hold sway.

Design the trip as you would want too as you know what you like to do and what you would like to enjoy from the resorts. I'm not sure what "Dear Abby", "Ann Landers" or "Miss Manners" would say about this, but my opinion would be that your future sister-in-law keep her opinions to herself and shut up about it.

And when it comes time for her honeymoon, then she can do all that she wants to do...more than likely doing all the high money stuff [only a guess since she suggested you downgrade to a moderate...sounds typical of someone who wants to put on airs for themselves].

Again...all this is only my opinion...being a single guy, what do I know. LOL


Joe

 

[Married@WDW]

I have to admit I sometimes feel this way about my in-laws, especially my husband's cousins. They live in Celebration, work for Disney, go there on the weekends for fun, etc. We adore Disney -- engaged there, married there, DVC members, etc. It used to be our dream to live there, but we've since realized that we love it because it's an escape from our everyday life and maybe we don't want to move there. But we don't flaunt our love of Disney -- we don't offer people advice unless asked and while I've planned my share of Disney trips, I wouldn't dream of telling people what to do. I just give 'em all the options and what we preferred. We want to share the magic, not force our magic down other people's throats.

Anyway, my advice is to make sure you plan the honeymoon that you and your fiance will most enjoy. And if your fsil doesn't think you'll be spending much time in your room on your honeymoon, she might want to rethink who she's marrying!

 

[Seano846]

It is YOUR Honeymoon do what YOU want to do, And I would DEFINATELY not downgrade from a deluxe to a moderate (especially on your honeymoon). Your future sister in law sounds like a pain in the @ss

 

[figmentmom]

Sounds like you've already tried telling her politely that you and her brother would just as soon plan your honeymoon YOURSELVES, and she's not getting the message. (This does not sound like a Disney competition, it sounds like a competition for your fiance's time and attention.) I'd speak to your future father-in-law one more time, thanking him for his generosity in paying for the honeymoon. Then, I would as tactfully as possible tell him that since honeymoons are such private and personal occasions, much as you appreciate all of "Suzy's" input, you really need to plan this one for yourselves.

If that doesn't do it, you may need to be more blunt with the fiance. By the way, he is ready to stand up to his sister when she tries to decide OTHER things for the two of you???:lookaroun

 

[leeocean]

Ok - first of all - CONGRATS on your engagment. Second - take a few deep breaths...alright, now...it's your honeymoon. This is a time for you two to be relaxed and enjoy yourself - so I would make a list places that the both of you would like to stay. Both of you should decide together. My two cents - If $$ is an issue, I would suggest staying at the Wilderness Lodge - the hot tub at night is the most romantic on the property. If it isn't, the Polynesian is FABULOUS, and you can cozy up on the beach with frozen margaritas and watch the fireworks go over Cinderella's Castle. As for eats, decide on the places you REALLY don't want to miss and then make Priority Seating arrangements -play the rest by ear. Try not to committ to a schedule, you guys should just enjoy yourself, fly by the seat of your pants, and ignore everybody else - after all, you're in LOVE!

 

[Disneynutcase]

Well-well-well! Nice to know I'm not the only one who has a little drama queen for a sister. Except mine did all she could to attempt to alter my wife and my wedding and reception. The only person who ever gave her much audience was my mother (who spoiled this little princess rotten as it is), but that did enough damage to throw a bit of a hink into our happy day.

Your future sis-in-law is a mental case. Like it or not, what you're experiencing is a sampling of your future with this girl. All she's doing is getting her jollies playing games with your fiancee as well as your future Father-in-Law--has to be the one who's always right, then sulks and plays Miss Innocent w/ so-called good intentions when people tell her to get lost.

The best advice I can give on your honeymoon issue is to graciously accept whatever accomodations and package deal your in-laws give to you. Then screw whatever this sisterly pain-in-the- thinks and insists you should do AND also not pay much attention to whatever kind of like-minded ally she makes out of Pops.

The beauty of WDW is that everything is pretty darned flexible. You can make a bunch of PS reservations--at least two per meal, if not more. They don't really care, in fact they understand that some people are indecisive. Hell, I did this on our last family vacation because we weren't quite sure what park we'd be doing on what day (but we wanted to make sure we had a PS or two) and not one reservation CM ever said a word. Why? Because it's all cancellable.

So secure your hotel, secure your ticket situation via the in-laws. If Pops is offering to pay for meals or offering to provide the deluxe package that pays for meals cruise-ship style, then gladly accept his kindness. And let little sis "advise" until she's blue in the face. The key is to not pay much heed to much of what she says.

Then when you come back home from your honeymoon raving about how nice and perfect everything you and your hubby did--mainly because YOU DID WHAT YOU WANTED--and you have photos and videos to support your fun, AND sis-in-law sees how much of what you did ended up being your ideas and not hers, maybe she'll get the message.

After all, actions speak louder than words.

Then again, she could be thick.

I truly wish you the best of luck and a happy marriage. Having a competitive and power-mongering individual in the family will definately test your patience.

Just know that the thing you need to do whenever the little b#*!h tries to play her games is for you to keep your dignity as much as possible and repeat to yourself, "I'm in control here, not her." Then go and do whatever the hell you want to do YOUR way. And if she needs a harsh talking to from time do time, go ahead and do it.

Even though you're marrying her brother, it doesn't mean you and sis have to get along famously.

Hope this helps. Just know that someone else out there has been thru this same load of crap over every little f'n thing for years.

Guess we were lucky because we paid for our own mini honeymoon to Napa Valley (got married in SF) and didn't really tell people much detail about what or where we'll be going. Then again, my little sis was a few years below drinking age, so giving "advice" would have raised a few eyebrows.

 

[CmdrTostada]

I agree with everyone else. Is she older than yuor fiance? Because if she is she might have a controlling issue and doesnt want another woman in her brothers life ( Im probably wrong, since im not a psychiatrist) But Just goto your future-father-in-law, and tell him that you would like to plan the honeymoon.

 

[cymbaldiva]

Glad to know I'm not the only one with a pain in th a$$ sister-in-law! :lol: Seriously though, just do what you want to do - it is YOUR honeymoon, not hers! Good luck, have fun, and get used to ignoring her - I've been married 8 1/2 years and mine's still a pain!

 

[CmdrTostada]

Question. My sisters marrying her boyfriend. He has a sister so would she be considered my sister-in-law?

 

[Justin]

yup lol, i think so... haha im the wrong person to answer cause I'm dumb...

Hey Man congrats on the Engagement! have fun now, just slow it down and enjoy yourselfs, ull be spending the rest of your lives together and live happy!

Congrats and happy for u man.

 

[aim]

Ok, wow! I have dreams about marrying my bf. and we already know where we wanna go for our honeymoon. i couldn't imagine having to go through what you are! lol, i would've blown up on her a long time ago. and she wouldn't be happy. it's not her decision on where & what you guys do. i mean, how would she like it if you started to do that to her?!?! :dazzle:

 

[CmdrTostada]

you talking to me? Im not engaged its my sister or are you talking to redkenwolf? like i think.

 

[aim]

I was talking to redkenwolf

 

[Justin]

haha, TurboGames... i got myself confused man. sorry about that. Dont mind me. Just ignore that.

I dont dream about getting married when i grow up cause i m too dumb for anyone to marry, and im too depressed all the time and never happy... I hate myself, Plus i have had bad luck with girls, I haven't ever gone out with anyone and im 14 and asked out some lol. Im just a big idiot. I dont care though... Were talking about the Honey Moon not how dumb I am. :lol:

 

[CmdrTostada]

Im pretty much exactly like you. But im not really depressed, im really shy. I know I might not seem like it but I am. It might not even be shyness it might be anxiety.

 

[Justin]

hahahahaha im so dumb!!! Sorry WDWBabe i thought he was talking to me for a minute, i dont know who i was trying to answer im confused!! :veryconfu

Lets just move on im gettng myself messed up or something...

 

[CmdrTostada]

i was actually talking to you justin. She just posted before i did.

 

[Justin]

Thanx. Im really shy, especially in person, i dont have alot of friends, or anything cause i dont talk, I went to a school in 6th grade and it screwed me up and now im having problems, Im just really depressed now cause i feel so alone and hurt and its bugging me, Ill get over it life goes on....

 

[Justin]

Sorry man, Were all posting all these things at the same time and its getting me confused lol.