From Jim Hill Media:
With just five weeks to go 'til its release, the good buzz continues to build on Walt Disney Home Entertainment's "The Three Musketeers."
Of course, given that this Donovan Cook film is Disney's first full length animated project to feature Mickey, Donald & Goofy in starring roles, expectations are understandably high. But the good news is (According to Disney Television insiders that I've spoken with) that "The Three Musketeers" actually deliver the goods. Though it's only 68 minutes long, "The Three Musketeers" is long on laugh.
That said, could this WDHE project have been even funnier? According to "A Viewer from the Golden State" 's comments over at Amazon.com:
"There was so much potential that was lost due to the whims of the unit manager (not the director) on this project. What could have been a much funny final product had most of the best gags eliminated."
"What sort of gags?," you ask. Well, don't be fooled by those "Deleted Scenes" that Walt Disney Home Entertainment allowed to be included among "The Three Musketeers" additional features. While it's true that:
The Original Storybook Opening
The Troubadour Introduces Pete
Pete on Bridge
Another Rescue
WERE once originally featured in this direct-to-video feature, these AREN'T the sorts of gags that we're talking about. These were jokes that were make-milk-come-out-your-nose-at-lunch funny. Stuff that you'd never ever expect to see Mickey, Donald & Goofy do.
"Like what?," you query. Well, take -- for example -- the scene that used to be in "The Three Musketeers." Where the villainous Pete has locked Mickey away in the palace dungeon. And -- though Pete already has the world's most famous mouse wrapped up in chains -- just to finish the job, he also floods Mickey's cell. And -- as the water rises -- Mickey turns his head to his side and notices some graffiti. Which reads:
You must be as tall as this line in order to survive this torture.
But the water continues to rise. And -- despite his best efforts -- Mickey eventually slips below the surface and blacks out. The screen goes dark for a moment, then is filled with a bright, out-of-focus light. As the picture comes back into focus, we see that Mickey is sitting on a cloud in what appears to be heaven. And who's seated on a cloud right next to him? Walt Disney.
Of course, Mickey is thrilled to see Walt again. Which is why -- as he talks a mile a minute -- the Mickster tries to bring the old Mousetro up to speed about everything that's gone on with the Walt Disney Company over the past 38 years. And there was one particular line of dialogue that was sure to upset DCA fans. It went something like this:
MICKEY: Well, Roy finished Disney World. But I bet you knew that already. Then we built theme parks in Tokyo & Paris. Plus three more in Florida. Then Michael got this crazy idea to build one that celebrated California. Right in Disneyland's parking lot. But that didn't work ...
This line (understandably) always cracked people up whenever the early story reel of "The Three Musketeers" was screened inside the Frank Wells building. But -- just as understandably -- that "But that didn't work ..." line was clipped long before this work print was ever screened for Michael Eisner.
Speaking of Disney's CEO ... Did you know that Uncle Mikey was originally supposed to appear in "The Three Musketeers"? Strange but true, folks. Disney's embattled CEO was once actually supposed to play a big part in the film's final gag.
Of course, in order to understand the setup for this particular joke, you have to remember that -- in spite of the fact that this Alexandre Dumas novel is called "The Three Musketeers" -- the story actually features FOUR musketeers: Athos, Aramis, D'Artagan and Porthos.
Well, in the early, early, early version of this film, Mickey was actually going to be carrying a copy of Dumas' book with him throughout the film. Which the Mouse would consult at particularly hairy parts in the plot in order to figure out how he'd get out of various tight spots. But -- at the very end of the movie -- Mickey would suddenly realize that (according to Alexandre) there were supposed to be four musketeers in this movie. So -- after briefly consulting with Donald & Goofy -- the Mouse turns directly to the camera and asks the audience: "Where's the fourth musketeer?"
We now cut to a live action shot of the Disney Board Room. A chair at the head of the table (with its back to us) suddenly spins around. In it is Michael Eisner in full musketeer regalia. Disney's CEO leaps to his feet and says "It is I. The fourth musketeer!"
We cut back to animation. Mickey, Donald and Goofy look directly into the camera with mouths agape.
We now cut to a split screen. With the live action Eisner on one side, ineptly waving his sword about. While on the other side, Mickey, Donald and Goofy quietly slip out of their costumes and try to exit off-screen, unnoticed.
As you might expect, once this particular version of the "Three Musketeers" story reel was shown to Disney's CEO, Michael laughed. But -- as soon as the lights came up in the screening room -- Eisner turned to the filmmakers and said: "Very funny. Of course, there's no way that I'm actually ever going to do that joke. But it was still very funny."
That was pretty much the same reaction that Wayne Allwine (AKA The official voice of Mickey Mouse) had when Donovan Cook reportedly asked him to record the following piece of dialogue for the film:
"Wrecked 'em? We darn near killed him."
A line which all you double entendre fans will no doubt recognize as the punch line of a pretty famous dirty joke. Well, given that Wayne has been recording dialogue for Mickey for over 27 years now, he's very familiar now with what the Mouse would and would NOT say. And -- while Allwine did agree with Cook that it would be pretty funny if Mickey (in a totally innocent, unrelated-in-any-way-to-that-famous-dirty-joke kind of way) said this particular punch line. Particularly for the adults who were out there watching this DVD with their kids. But -- that said -- Wayne still refused to record that piece of dialogue.
Why for? Well, even though Allwine knew that this particular joke would sail right over the heads of all the kids in the audience, Wayne still believed that it was wrong for Mickey to say the punch line of a dirty joke. Even if it was entirely out of context.
So Wayne dug in his heels. And -- in spite of how much Donovan pleaded -- he wouldn't read the "wrecked 'em" joke. Which is why this particular gag never made it in the movie.
Anyway ... Based on what folks who are familiar with this Disney Toon production have told me -- this is just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to gags that got cut out of "The Three Musketeers." Say ... I don't suppose that some of the storymen who are out there, the people who actually worked on this direct-to-video release, would like to come forward to talk about some of the other jokes & story ideas that got cut out of this picture.
Hey, it's a thought. Speaking of which ... Your thoughts?
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