Got disowned today

[daisyduckie]

I made the apparently grievous error of inviting my whole family over for Easter dinner, so my sister has disowned me. Unfriended me on facebook, and everything.

Back story--she and her older daughter have been not getting along for about 4 years now. I have tried my best to not take sides, and continue to love both of them. So I invited both of them to Easter dinner. Only to be told by my inviting them both means I have picked my niece's side, and not hers. And that my niece is choosing me over her mom if she shows up.

I also made the mistake of sending my adult nephew an e-mail invitation of his own. Without clearing it with my sister first. So now every thing I have done wrong for 15 years (no joke) is being brought up.

Sigh.

 

[Disneyhead'71]

Families.

SMH

 

[Dead2009]

Seems like your sister likes to be extremely petty. It's a holiday FFS.

 

[RandomPrincess]

Yeah I avoid my birth family like the plague these days. I can't deal with their drama at all. We are having a lovely Easter just my immediate family (kids and husband).

You did nothing wrong, try not to feel bad. You are not the crazy one.

 

[ajrwdwgirl]

It sounds like you are just trying to include everyone, nothing wrong with that. Without knowing the whole situation she probably would have been upset if you hadn't included everyone on your invite list. Just be happy with the people that came, and the others that didn't, well, that is their loss.

 

[Disneyhead'71]

In retrospect, it would have probably been best for your sister to find out about the family gathering via Facebook status updates....with pics.

 

[MOXOMUMD]

I made the apparently grievous error of inviting my whole family over for Easter dinner, so my sister has disowned me. Unfriended me on facebook, and everything.

Back story--she and her older daughter have been not getting along for about 4 years now. I have tried my best to not take sides, and continue to love both of them. So I invited both of them to Easter dinner. Only to be told by my inviting them both means I have picked my niece's side, and not hers. And that my niece is choosing me over her mom if she shows up.

I also made the mistake of sending my adult nephew an e-mail invitation of his own. Without clearing it with my sister first. So now every thing I have done wrong for 15 years (no joke) is being brought up.

Sigh.

Tomorrow's another day, they'll get over it. I don't get along with my mom and yet the sun still rises.

 

[littleroo]

Just keep being you. Sorry you are dealing with this!

 

[unkadug]

I made the apparently grievous error of inviting my whole family over for Easter dinner, so my sister has disowned me. Unfriended me on facebook, and everything.

Back story--she and her older daughter have been not getting along for about 4 years now. I have tried my best to not take sides, and continue to love both of them. So I invited both of them to Easter dinner. Only to be told by my inviting them both means I have picked my niece's side, and not hers. And that my niece is choosing me over her mom if she shows up.

I also made the mistake of sending my adult nephew an e-mail invitation of his own. Without clearing it with my sister first. So now every thing I have done wrong for 15 years (no joke) is being brought up.

Sigh.

Count your blessings and cut your losses.

You sound like a good person and others may just be jealous of your good fortune.

 

[Sans Souci]

I made the apparently grievous error of inviting my whole family over for Easter dinner, so my sister has disowned me. Unfriended me on facebook, and everything.

Back story--she and her older daughter have been not getting along for about 4 years now. I have tried my best to not take sides, and continue to love both of them. So I invited both of them to Easter dinner. Only to be told by my inviting them both means I have picked my niece's side, and not hers. And that my niece is choosing me over her mom if she shows up.

I also made the mistake of sending my adult nephew an e-mail invitation of his own. Without clearing it with my sister first. So now every thing I have done wrong for 15 years (no joke) is being brought up.

Sigh.

I think I've seen you post about her before. Maybe a break isn't such a bad thing. She sounds like she needs to control everyone around her and you're making her angry by keeping in touch with your niece. You've done nothing wrong in trying to keep both relationships. I know it's hard, because you're sisters, but maybe this is a blessing in disguise. Maybe she'll think about how she alienates her family, maybe she won't. The only thing you can control in this situation is yourself.

 

[Disneyhead'71]

Just keep doing what you know to be the right thing to do. And let the cards fall where they may. At least you'll be able to sleep at night knowing you did the right thing.

 

[StarWarsGirl]

I'm going to share something a bit personal, but I hope it makes you see you made the right choice.

My mom was disowned by her mother essentially. Her mother cut off her college fund and made life unbearable at home. My mom got married to my dad at 19 (they are still married 30+ years later).

My mom's extended family is very close-knit. When my grandmother disowned my mother, my grandmother told her that no one in their family wanted anything to do with her ever again. She told their family my mom wanted nothing to do with them. No one reached out to my mom to find out if it was true, and my mom was young and naive and believed her mother. It was over 10 years before someone reached out to her, and longer than that before my mom started bringing my brother and I to family get togethers. I didn't know most of my mom's family for a long time.

Please, don't allow your sister to keep your niece away from her family. Don't worry about your sister. She's wrong. Your niece needs her family. Now more than ever. Please stop worrying about your sister's feelings and do what you know is right.