Disappointed and haven't even booked yet...

[stitchsMom]

So, after working with an unhelpful planner and then speaking with the "director" for Disney's Fairytale Weddings, I am absolutely floored in this division of Disney's unwillingness to help create the experience we would like for our wedding in Disney.

In short I have 5 people over the Escape guidelines - ok literally 1 adult over and 4 children (and I am talking 2-8yrs old). But, I am stuck as they say, in the middle, because though I am willing to fork over $8000 the exact cost for the wedding at Disney I would like (more than the Escape package), I don't know if we will have the $$ for a Wishes (min. $12,000). According to the Weddings Director I either have to tell some of our family members that they cannot come to our wedding or come up with $12,000. They are insistent that the only way they can "ensure I get the wedding that I want" is to spend $12,000.... Except, the $12,000 wedding is not what I want... I don't want extravagance... I don't want a big sit down dinner...

The director gave me every "pretty" excuse under the sun, but in other words what she was saying is the Escape Wedding is for those that don't want to spend what Disney thinks they should and will be get very little from Disney, and if you want anything more from them you are just going to have to pay for it. Given the financial times, I am surprised that they are so unwilling to bend the guidelines.

We arrived back home in June from our Disney vacation to notice of a 30% paycut... Because it is our dream to have our wedding at Disney we have been dilligent in reorganizing our budget and spending habits so that we could still have that dream... Even if we did come up with the $$ - I don't know that I trust the Weddings people to handle my wedding... Have I turned into a bridezilla, or do I have a fair reason to be upset?

 

[harveyt0206]

I certainly don't think it makes you "bridezilla" to expect a little accommodation from your wedding service provider, no matter who it is. I find it unusual that they only have "option A" or "B", take your pick. I too would think there would be some way they could give you the $8,000 package if that is the package that you are most interested in, but allow you to pay a rate difference for the extra family members.

While I am no expert on the Disney wedding packages, I would recommend that you kill them with kindness and try speaking with someone else. Lay your concerns out just as you have for us and explain that you are so use to Disney making dreams come true that you are surprised to learn that they can't find a way to assist you in these tough economic times.

Best of luck on getting the wedding of your dreams.

~Tracy

 

[corey154]

You are not being a bridezilla. It's your special day....and really they won't let you pay seperate for 5 people, you have to add a while package? Can you sneak them in?

Congrats by the way and I hope it all works out. Please keep us posted. It's good info for others on here when planning events. Thanks!

 

[I_heart_Tigger]

Have you gotten all your RSVP's yet? Maybe there's someone who simply won't be able to make the wedding especially if they have to travel from away. Also, for the kids, maybe just don't mention them again...what are they gonna do when a couple extra kids show up? kick them out? Sure maybe they won't have a seat at an assigned table but since when are all the kids going to stay seated anyway.

I would tell them you have the proper number now and if the extra adult shows up, act surprised and tell the co-ordinators to add one chair.

 

[DisneyJoe]

Given the financial times, I am surprised that they are so unwilling to bend the guidelines.

Disney is not hurting - for every bride that books a Disney Fairytale Wedding, they probably have dozens that would like to but don't quite have the money - and wish Disney would cut them a break.

It's simple supply and demand economics - the demand is high for these events, so they can charge what they want and they don't need to bend.

I hope you can figure out a way to make things work out.

 

[EvilQueen-T]

if you ABSOLUTELY have to get your number down maybe you could consider anyone with a child age 2-3 and under could have group daycare instead of attending the actual wedding. they're to young to remember, usually end up crying or fussing and bored and it would give their parents a little adult time and all would be happy. if it's just the 2-8 year olds you mentioned above maybe you could consider one of the disney themed kids only activities at your resort for them to do instead of attending... just make sure to take photos with them to keep all family members happy and to have your memories of their seeing you on your wedding day...when all was said and done they'd likely think you're fabulous for NOT making them go to a grown up event. just a thought. :shrug: .... congratulations otherwise and you are absolutely NOT a bridezilla.

 

[stitchsMom]

Thanks everyone - I kept thinking, that this is just nuts! My fiance is convinced all will work out and still wants to have the wedding there... We just didn't want the formal sit down dinner, that is just not "us". But, we are being forced into it by Disney's policy... ugh... will keep all posted. Again, thanks for listening and your kind words!

 

[unkadug]

I agree with I_heart_Tigger. Tell them you have the proper amount of people. I can't imagine them barring people from going to a wedding if there are a couple of extra people. After all they are people on Disney property. Potential money spenders.

 

[lighteningqueen]

What in the world are you paying for?? Meaning what does $8000.00 buy you? If it isn't a sit down dinner then why can't some kids be there. Is this just for cake and the actual nuptials and chairs?? If so this is outrageous and to not let 5 more people in???? If there are finger foods, then really how much can those people or kids eat to make a difference. Good Luck, by the way when is the wedding??

 

[Courtney1188]

What in the world are you paying for?? Meaning what does $8000.00 buy you? If it isn't a sit down dinner then why can't some kids be there. Is this just for cake and the actual nuptials and chairs?? If so this is outrageous and to not let 5 more people in???? If there are finger foods, then really how much can those people or kids eat to make a difference. Good Luck, by the way when is the wedding??

It really doesn't make a difference...Disney could easily let a few extra guests in. But just because they can doesn't mean they will. The rules for the weddings are spelled out and they don't make exceptions. If you have more than a certain number of people, you ust pay more because it falls under a different category (escape, wishes, etc). As someone else said, they have lots of brides who want to get married with Disney - if someone cancels theirs due to lack of money or wanting more people to attend, Disney will have another bride ready to take their spot in a heartbeat.

 

[jen2009]

Speaking from a recent Disney brides point of view....I got married in March at the Wedding Pavillion and had an Escape wedding. We did not know until we got down there if we were going to have 20 or 22 people. The extra 2 people were a 16 month old and a 2 year old. My planner let it slide because they were kids. She did say that some planners really enforce the 20 limit guideline for Escape weddings. I can see were the limit is crucial. I know some on here have spoke about why not just let the extra 5 in, but you have to look at it from their point of view. It comes down to location of the wedding and were you have your cake cutting. The have to allot so many supplies per person. There were 17 weddings on the day I got married plus all Disney's usual catering events. Thats alot to cover and they have cut back on people due to economy issues.

Our photographer took longer than usual because we had so many people. Escape weddings are done completely different than Wishes. If you have to, maybe mention a month or so before the wedding that you are not sure if you are going to have 20 or 22ish people. If you mention this after you have paid, it may work in your favor.

I STRESS that it ALL DEPENDS ON THE PLANNER YOU GET.

If you have any questions just let me know.

Congratulations on your upcoming wedding!!!!!

 

[wild01ride]

stitchsMom,
I completely understand how you can be frustrated.
When I first contacted WDW Fairy Tale Weddings, I seemed to have been met with a "no-can-do" attitude which was very inconsistent with my expectations.
Fortunately, for our situation, our overall "celebration" with family and friends is what is most important to us.
Now, I know that for many brides, the ceremony itself is the most important and critical part of the wedding, but let me share our plans and suggest that maybe you can plan something similar that will work for your personal wishes as well as your budget.

Overview
First, we selected 18 that we felt absolutely "needed" to be there. Then, in our invitations, we explained the circumstances to all of our guests and sent invitations based on what portion of our celebration was available for those guests.
In other words, we knew that we could only have 18 at the ceremony, but we wanted to celebrate with as many people as could make it.

Ceremony
*We are doing an Escape Wedding with the maximum 20 guests (this includes Bride & Groom, as I'm sure you may know).
*We are not doing a champagne toast (no additional champagne, etc. to purchase) - they will give us the included bottle to take with us and do with as we please.
*We are also not doing a cake-cutting at the ceremony. (more later)

Dinner
*We will not be having a traditional reception. Instead, we are going to a Disney restaurant: Cape May - not fancy, but close to the ceremony location, easy (buffet), and in my opinion, good food for a buffet
*We made this available to anyone who was invited to our "celebration".

Illuminations Dessert Reception
*This is kind of the crowning jewel of our "celebration". We made this open to anyone who wanted to come and it will include Desserts, Drinks, and of course, a viewing of Illuminations. (Even better, it turns out that there are Extra Magic Hours after Illuminations!).

So, while our plan doesn't satisfy the wishes of every bride out there, we chose to focus our ceremony on those select few who are closest to us and then to make the overall celebration available to anyone who was wanted to attend.

Like I said, this specifically may not work for you, but if your "overage" on the ceremony is comprised of 4 children and 1 adult, try to find a way to narrow down the ceremony guests by one, have them watch the kids during the ceremony, and then include everyone in your reception or whatever you choose to do afterwards.

I'm sure that you can figure out something that will work!
Best of luck! ...and PLEASE let us know what happens!

 

[stitchsMom]

Thanks for being so helpful everyone! I realize that the demand is high for Disney Weddings. And my fiancé is certain the money will not be an issue (so wish I had his confidence), but rather the problem is that we would be stuck with a wedding we don't want - e.g. a sit down dinner. I mean even our reception back home, though semi-formal, is sans the sit-down-dinner-part. And I can see how the extra persons (regardless of age) can pose logistical needs - but- we offered to pay for all the extra people. We have gone over and over the guest list, and there is no way to cut it. The Guest list is: myself, my fi, and my son; my parents, fi’s 2 sets of parents, and 1 set of grandparents; then our brothers and sisters who are standing up and their children whom are also part of the wedding; and 2 aunts. The total comes to 30, again 5 over the maximum of 25 we were told. I mean how do you choose which brothers and sisters and their children are welcome? Do we tell one set of my Fi's parents they can't see him get married? Literally they are the “must be there group”. We have left out lot’s of aunts, uncles, their kids, family friends, our friends, etc. We come from large families, and in my Fi’s case - his is doubled in size by divorce and re-marriage. I guess I could try and be sneaky… but I just don’t feel comfortable with it. In response to lightening queen - there are only 2 packages the Escape and the Wishes. The $6000 and under Escape package is a bare-bones ceremony followed up by a quick champagne toast and cake cutting thingy. Where my confusion, and later upset, came in is that I asked of the planner I was working with, if I could add an hors’dourve reception, - to which the answer was “yes”. What he didn’t tell me was “yes, if you book a Wishes package, a minimum expenditure of $12,000 (including a $125 per head food expenditure)”. What it boils down to is that I must spend $12,000 to have a sit down dinner we don‘t want. My fi’s opinion is we’ll spend the $12g’s but we don’t want the dinner… So, here is our thoughts…
My future MIL says we should get a hold of our DVC rep. After speaking with a friend of hers who was a WDW exec up until a couple years ago, the power of work developed relationships within the company can apparently be very strong and sometimes work magic. The MIL holds the theory as well that the Weddings people are concerned about the bottom line for one day e.g. they would rather pack in the weddings that are going to spend for the Wishes package, whereas our DVC rep is concerned about the years to come. She feels that to him we are a doorway to referrals that he could potentially turn into sales. Sooo, her opinion is that we should explain to him what we want and see if he can help. A long shot in my opinon, but with some luck (or rather “magic”) perhaps we could get the wedding we want.
We picked an “off day”, Tuesday, May 25th for the wedding. What we really want is to be able to have an evening ceremony at Boardwalk’s Sea Breeze Point (a venue that can hold 3 times the number we will have present). Following the ceremony we want to have hors’dourves and private seating at the UK upper terrace for Illuminations. We could care less about a champagne toast, nor the cake, and we definitely do not want to have a dinner. After reading your post, wild01ride, we are wondering if we could do something similar. Can we just pay to have the extra 5 people at the ceremony? Can we then book the UK Terrace for the private seating for everyone, separate from the wedding package?

Thoughts?

 

[Pepper It]

I hope they would give in to your request. I that's not too much to ask considering what you're willing to spend so you can enjoy a wedding at Disney. I'll keep my fingers crossed for you

 

[wdwCC]

While I loved my wedding, I always thought that maybe we missed something not getting married at WDW. But hearing this I am not sure I would want someone from Disney telling me how many guests I could have. I hope it all works out.

 

[wild01ride]

Where my confusion, and later upset, came in is that I asked of the planner I was working with, if I could add an hors’dourve reception, - to which the answer was “yes”. What he didn’t tell me was “yes, if you book a Wishes package, a minimum expenditure of $12,000 (including a $125 per head food expenditure)”. What it boils down to is that I must spend $12,000 to have a sit down dinner we don‘t want. My fi’s opinion is we’ll spend the $12g’s but we don’t want the dinner… So, here is our thoughts…

What we really want is to be able to have an evening ceremony at Boardwalk’s Sea Breeze Point (a venue that can hold 3 times the number we will have present). Following the ceremony we want to have hors’dourves and private seating at the UK upper terrace for Illuminations. We could care less about a champagne toast, nor the cake, and we definitely do not want to have a dinner. After reading your post, wild01ride, we are wondering if we could do something similar. Can we just pay to have the extra 5 people at the ceremony? Can we then book the UK Terrace for the private seating for everyone, separate from the wedding package?

Thoughts?

The fact of the matter is that it is possible to do what you're asking.
As I mentioned, I was met with a lot of adversity when I started planning our Escape Wedding. I told them that I wanted to do the Escape Wedding and the Dessert Reception.
They said that they could not do that as part of the Escape Wedding, as you mentioned, so, I took matters into my own hands and contacted Epcot Events. I gave them all the details and started to arrange a Dessert Reception. They said that they needed to cc: the Wedding Department on it because of the fact that we were scheduling it for the same day as our wedding. Eventually, a new Wedding Coordinator contacted us (not the original one that we made contact with) and said that she would be taking care of us from now on and that she would oversee the coordination of our wedding ceremony and the Dessert Reception.
In the end, we were given all of the food and beverage options that were available through Epcot Events (PM me your email and I can email you the brochures if you want).

Disney Fairy Tale Weddings is definitely hesitant to go outside of what's "included" with the Escape wedding, but it is possible.

I think that no matter what, when it comes down to it, you're going to be stuck with the ceremony part of the wedding being limited to 20.
That is the one part that is completely in the hands of Disney Weddings.

If you need any more assistance, advice, or info from our experience, let me know (but you better ask soon or else you'll have to wait a week and a half - we're leaving for the wedding on Sat.!!!)

Good luck and happy planning! There is some way for your dreams to come true!