HagansMommie...I think the children aspect at the upscale restauarants is only something you can judge. My sister in law would not hesitate to take her three year old to any upscale restaurant, but he is an only child, very quiet, very mild-tempered, and so far has never presented a problem at places like that. I think it completely depends on your children. I noticed you mentioned the same thing in two posts so just wanted to pipe in and say that nothing at WDW is child-free, and I don't think any of them (except for Victoria & Alberts) go out of their way to discourage children. It IS true that most of the upscale restaurants will not offer a childrens menu, although you can be very creative ala carte. I just admire your willingness to take the other adults into account into your planning, and as someone without children, I appreciate that kind of thoughtfulness -- but ultimately it is your vacation and pick the places that you and your husband want to go to. You can always find things for your kids.
Some other options to consider of places that are a bit more upscale but will gladly welcome your kids: Fulton's Crab House and Wolfgang Puck's in DD; Jiko at AKL