Calling Someone Out: Public or Private?

[Darth Tater]

When you have a beef with someone over some issue; whether major or very small, do you:
a). Call them out over it in a public/mixed company setting, such as during a business meeting, at the dinner table, or in a room where other ears can hear the discussion.
OR
b). Talk to them in private. Call them into your office if it's work-related, wait until there are no others around to mention whatever it is that's troubling you.

This could be for any reason: Scolding a child who misbehaves, talking to a co-worker or subordinate in a company setting, or just a friend/colleague over some issue. What are your thoughts?

 

[Disneyhead'71]

Private. Doing it publicly is more about you that fixing the problem.

 

[flynnibus]

If your motivation is to actually address the problem - you do it one on one.

If your motivation is to humilate/highlight or pump yourself up.. you do it in front of a crowd.

And yes, the audience does see that about the person making the scene.

Doing it in public first is never is only necessary if you must shame the person into action or it must be done to ensure the information is in the public so that the individual is protected. Most of those times.. you're talking about things much bigger than something you might have a individual issue with.

Oh, and you better have your @#%@ in order if you ever try to bring someone to the carpet in public. If you don't it will backfire like crazy.

 

[PUSH]

I'd say private, but I really don't call people out. Every now and then I have my moments and I flip, but it's a rare occasion. I can take a lot of **** without it getting to me. Not to say I wouldn't love to tell some people know what I think about them.

 

[Nemo14]

Privately - the way I would want to be treated if the circumstances were reversed.

 

[englanddg]

Private is best. As others stated, doing it in public is more about you than the other person.

That is, of course, unless you've already tried private, and the swaying some group opinion is important. And, if you go that route, you better make sure you have a solid case, or you will very likely end up looking like a rube.

 

[mickeysbrother]

Privately unless the issue was in public and you need to address it right away. I'm not going to wait until i get home and tell my child remember 2 hours ago when... "LOOK-AROUND"

 

[BoarderPhreak]

If it's a small... "Adjustment" then publicly isn't bad; but keep calm and be proper about it (e.g. scolding a child). But if you need to lean into the person a bit more, privately is the way to go. In a business setting it must be done privately.

Unless you're all friends and someone's just talking sh*t, then give 'em hell.

Honestly, "it all depends." Put yourself in others shoes. Would you want someone to do this to you? How would others perceive it that perhaps don't know you, them - or the situation, etc.

 

[luv]

I don't really call people out. I once privately told a friend and co-worker how upset (ed and hurt) I was that she misunderstood my intensions on something, got mad and snapped at me about it, but the whole thing ended in hugs and apologies and an agreement that now we knew we were real friends because we'd had a fight and made up. We are still friends.

I did get y on the boards, though, which probably could have been better handled privately. Less learned there.

My sister, however, is a whole other ball of wax. We go to a restaurant, I order first and then apologize to the server for what they're about to encounter with her. "I'm really sorry about all of the time my sister is about to take." Then I look at her and say, "Time to order." But she will never just order. If she ever just orders a meal, I will fall down, dead from the shock.