Am I over-reacting

[Jenna]

Right guys....long story lol! Last year me and my family (mum, dad and siblings) went to Florida-they always tell us that we can only go every other year cause its such a big trip and so expensive. Also one of my sibling was supposed to have an operation this summer. So I went ahead and booked a holiday with the girlies for 2 weeks-19th July-2nd August.

Now on Saturday past, outa the blue my mum announces we're going to the travel agent...I was like what for-to book Florida she replied. Well I nearly had a seizure, I though yay-2 holidays. The reason she decided was well cause its so brill and my sisters surgeon had not been in contact. So I went to the travel agent with them, only to hear her ask for prices for 2 adults 2 children. I was like WHAT? So surprised I actually had to fight back tears. She hadn't told me I wouldn;t be going. I'm 19 (well this week) so many of you probably think she's too old, but thats not it...my mum said I would be going next year.

Im so upset, its all they can talk about and I feel really left out. They leave for Fla on the 27th July and aren't back to the 17th August. So I will be coming home from hols to an empty house. Im dreading when they come back and Im gonna be completely left out of the picture.

I wouldnt have minded not going if I had of CHOSEN my girly holiday over Florida but I was never given the option. Then my mum took me to the shops today and bought me clothes and was like you're paying me back....so she can spend 1000 each on my other two sisters and I cant have 40quids worth of clothes, plus she has provided NOTHING for my own holiday which is fair enough as its mine but its just a bit upsetting. Am I over-reacting?

 

[haveyoumetmark]

Absolutely not. I would be upset too, but of course I don't live in Northern Ireland, I live in the Tampa Bay area, which is a 90 minute drive. So I would be super upset if I was that far and not able to go while others get to.

 

[Uponastar]

Sounds like Mom has decided that, at 19, you are ready to fend for yourself, at least as far as vacations and clothing are concerned. You've told us that you're upset, but you haven't said if you've talked to your Mom about it. Why don't you try that? Don't start out with a chip on your shoulder. Tell her you're upset and confused and maybe she can help make you feel better about things.

 

[Hakunamatata]

Yep, sounds to me as if your mom is trying to tell you that you are an adult and should not depend on them for everything. Be glad she is doing it now and not dragging you along like some in our country **coughparishiltoncough**.

 

[tigsmom]

I'm going to agree with the rest, you are 19 and no longer dependent on your parents. Do you have a job or are your parents still supporting you? Are you still in school?

My parents planned a vacation to WDW when I was 18 and I was not invited along as I was out of school and working. I asked if I could come along and I did (my first visit to WDW and my last family vacation with them).

My advice is to talk to your parents and let them know how you feel. They may have assumed that since you have planned a vacation with your girlfriends that you wouldn't want to go. Also they may be doing this for your sister as something special before her surgery. You can stew all you want, but if you don't speak up it will just fester and make life miserable.

 

[bsandersjr]

Yep. You are 19 now. Old enough to work and provide for yourself. Even though, I do think it was pretty cruel to bring you with her to the travel agent so she could throw it in your face though.

 

[CAPTAIN HOOK]

Too bl**dy right you should be upset - I know I would be. I think your mom did the real low down and dirty on you. She should have told you long before they decided to go to the travel agent and to give you the opportunity to cancel your own holiday.

 

[Pumbas Nakasak]

In my house youd be expected to pay for your flight and park tickets if your working age.

my eldest is at WDW now, we go in August, Im happy either way, as it is not just a case of using the bank of mum & dad to freeload.

IF you pay you can come.

 

[Jenna]

I honestly don;t think its the age thing as she had planned that I would come next year and she would pay, I just dont know what the awkwardness is. Im at University and have the money to pay for my flights but I can't because of the time they are going.

 

[Uponastar]

I honestly don;t think its the age thing as she had planned that I would come next year and she would pay, I just dont know what the awkwardness is. Im at University and have the money to pay for my flights but I can't because of the time they are going.

You need to talk to your mom, love.
It could be something as simple as the fact that you already had one trip planned and she didn't think you'd want to be included in another so soon.
But you won't know till you ask. Talk!

 

[bbrerrabbit]

I agree - you need to talk to your mom. Can your plans with your girlfriends be cancelled? You will just have to make a decision for which will be more fun.

Have fun wherever you go!

 

[lilclerk]

Maybe she's insulted that you would go without them and this is her way of showing it? :shrug: Seems like something my mom would do :lol:

 

[tigsmom]

I honestly don;t think its the age thing as she had planned that I would come next year and she would pay, I just dont know what the awkwardness is. Im at University and have the money to pay for my flights but I can't because of the time they are going.

There is a big clue. Could be that she didn't invite you because you will be in classes.

You also said your sister is having surgery so maybe this trip is for her to offset any problems she may have with pain & recovery. You need to sit down and calmly talk to your mom and let her know how you feel; could be she just thinks at your age you would rather hang out with your friends than your mom & family. :shrug:

 

[Jenna]

Ive tried talking, shes just like tough, I mean thats all she is saying. Uni isnt the reason either as Im off until the end of september! Its her who is the driving force behind going, simply because she wants to...I mean she didnt actually know my sis couldnt get her surgery this summer and went and booked the holiday cause SHE wanted to go! argh anyways Im away to bed thanks for the advice everyone!