A Review of Disneyland
As a child I did not appreciate Disneyland enough because I preferred films that were less child oriented that were not as present at Disneyland as films such as Snow White or Toy Story and I did not appreciate quality storytelling. I think my attitude during this time of childhood was that I wanted to push beyond what I was limited to and push into adulthood as fast as possible. Recently, I have begun a reversal of this mindset to watch more films like Snow White and Cars because they are tied to my childhood and classic European folklore. I will be reviewing each land one by one in the order of the broad themes of Yesterday, Tomorrow, and Fantasy, like what the plaques atop the Main Street tunnels reference, “Here you leave Today and enter the world of Yesterday, Tomorrow, and Fantasy.”
Main Street
Main Street U.S.A is my favorite area of the park. I have such great nostalgia for it, even though I did not appreciate the rest of the park as I should have. I appreciated Main Street because of its historical feel, the Penny Arcade movie machines, and the Cinema where I watched Steamboat Willie for the first time. No matter what may come to Disneyland in the future, I will always spend the waning hours of the day on Main Street, eating an ice cream cone, and watching Steamboat Willie again in the Cinema.
Frontierland
Frontierland was built to capitalize off of the pop-culture craze over westerns such as Davy Crocket and the Lone Ranger. For most, this area is only worth going to for riding Big Thunder Mountain and the occasional meet and greet. However, this area is more than that. It is a celebration of the Spirit of Exploration and makes one feel as if they are walking into a John Wayne movie. I find Big Thunder Mountain to be the most detailed of the 3 major roller coasters at Disneyland because of the effort put into the detail of the American Southwest inspired surroundings, the ride’s many details, and its tributes to the attraction that it replaced and was inspired by.
New Orleans Square
Walt was a big fan of the Big Easy. He visited it many times with his family and even brought a mechanical bird home that helped inspire Walt Disney’s Enchanted Tiki Room. The area is home to some of the best eateries in the entire park, such as the French Market Restaurant and the Mint Julep Bar, which serves mint juleps (virgin ones) and beignets. New Orleans Square is home to two classic E-Tickets: Pirates of The Caribbean and The Haunted Mansion. One may argue that Pirates is slow and boring, but that is because they are not giving enough attention to the subtleties that most people overlook while riding Pirates. The Haunted Mansion, like Pirates, is a storytelling masterpiece with a 3-act story, culminating in a grand finale. It improves on Pirates by having a faster paced attraction. The Haunted Mansion also manages to have two emotional tones at the same time: creepy and funny which is quite ingenious. Overall, this area is worth spending time in.
Adventureland
While this area is focused on the natural environment of the world’s tropical regions, it is loosely placed in the 1930s, with its Big Band standards, 1930s era machinery, and the cast members’ decade inspired attire. I think the Jungle Cruise is enjoyable and humorous as it is slow, peaceful, and has the boats’ skippers cracking dad jokes. Indiana Jones is a good ride as it does bring you into the world of an Indiana Jones movie with the Raiders’ March theme song blasting you on the speakers and its well detailed set pieces. But some elements of the ride are revolting such as the cheap looking section where skeletons in the “booby trap” section of the ride look like they are painted onto the walls. This choice seems like something the penny-pinching Eisner would do in 2001. Elements such as these heavily detract from the ride’s immersion and enjoyability.
Tomorrowland
Before you read this section, I advise you to get a box of tissues, for never was a story of more woe than the murder of Tomorrowland ‘67, and its Peoplemover. Tomorrowland is a mish-mash of white Space Age mid-century architecture, golden-brown elements left over from the botched 1998 redo and objects such as the Star Wars and Space Ranger art murals that make you ask, “Why are they here?” While Tomorrowland is a mess, it’s still home to some of the best rides in the entire Resort. I personally liked Star Tours for its randomized experiences. Space Mountain is also one of my favorites, thanks to the fact that the ride makes one feel that they are going faster than they actually are.
Star Wars: Galaxy’s Edge
When I visited Star Wars: Galaxy’s Edge for the first time in July 2019, I was blown away by the level of detail, immersion, and how authentically Star Wars this land felt. This land is primarily meant for the next generation of Star Wars fans who grew up with the Sequel Trilogy and the general public, to whom the Sequels are still relevant (and every time I go, the land is fully packed). This land is without a doubt the most spectacular land of our time and is full of fine detail from the inclusion of a full scale Millennium Falcon, the blaster marks on the Falcon side of Oga’s Cantina that forms an upside down hidden Mickey, to the carbon scoring on the underside of the X-Wing’s wings just outside of the village, and the golden lichen (Batuu’s main export) growing on all the petrified trees.
The Falcon
I would consider Smuggler’s Run to be a higher end D-Ticket because it is building off the great attractions that came before it, such as Star Tours. The ride is quite interactive allowing participants to control their adventure to some degree, though some positions are more interactive than others, like the pilot position compared to the engineer position. The ride video probably has the best video quality I have ever seen in a simulator because of its crisp graphics and smooth frame rate of around 60+ frames per second. Overall, I have found it to be quite fun despite the overly high expectations on this attraction.
The Forest and The Main Attraction
The forest that is just a short walk from the village, is virtually empty as it only has one small shop, scattered soda stands, and only one attraction. However, the forest does serve an important purpose: to house the jaw-dropping, technologically advanced, and extremely expensive Star Wars: Rise of the Resistance. I think that this attraction is up there with Pirates of the Caribbean because the storytelling is phenomenal as it sets up a great story with multiple acts (like Pirates), develops it at a desirable pace, and has a clear resolution. I enjoyed this ride thoroughly and I cannot wait to get on this modern marvel again.
Mickey’s Toontown
Unfortunately, until the land reopens in early 2023 (and when I have visited) I will not review this land.
Critter Country
This land is the home of one of the greatest (and most controversial attractions) in Disneyland, Splash Mountain. When I rode Splash the first time, I thought it was an original attraction. I liked it because of its very sunny tone, the giant animatronic cast, its catchy tunes, and the dramatic 50 foot drop that surprisingly did not leave me drenched after riding it the first time. But I think it is time for the ride to move on as no one knows who B’rer Rabbit is and characters that appeal to certain demographics (like Princess Tiana) are far more marketable and sell more merchandise than an obscure has-been like B’rer Rabbit.
Fantasyland
Fantasyland was Walt Disney’s favorite land probably because all his characters lived there. In my opinion the Matterhorn Bobsleds is a thrilling roller coaster, as it is well themed. I also like how the attraction jolts you around. The largest and most prominent attraction in Fantasyland is “it’s a small world”. I appreciate the attraction because of its international feel, its whimsical Mary Blair art style, and its famous (or infamous) theme song “it’s a small world”. Sleeping Beauty Castle’s latest color scheme is tastefully done with its bright pinks, dark blues, and small details such as stars on the blue tiled roof.
Food
The food at Disneyland can either be great or terrible. On the great side we have the Turkey Legs, Dole Whip, Churros, Corn Dogs, French Market Restaurant, The Tropical Hideaway, Mint Julep Bar, Ronto’s Roasters, and the Carnation Cafe for its all-American line-up. On the bad side, we have a dramatic decrease in quality at Docking Bay 7. This eatery used to have good food, but after the last time I went, the food was terrible. The ribs were all mushy, the bread fell off the fried chicken, and the salad was something we could have bought at a store. Another case of bad food at Disneyland was Pizza Planet at Tomorrowland for its greasy pizza and its pasta that has a rubbery texture. So, the next time you plan a Disneyland trip, make a list of the best places, and treats at Disneyland so you don’t end up with an abysmal meal.
Overall, I give Disneyland a 98% because while it is not entirely perfect, Walt Disney’s Disneyland is about as close as you can get to being perfect because of its timeless and fantasized environments, all-star attraction line up, and the close attention to detail that makes Disneyland a cut above its competitors in the theme park industry. This park for me is a summer tradition (every year since 2016) and it has become a great way to spend a day out during the summer. While many now think that Disneyland is horrible right now due to certain management choices, Disneyland is still great, we can always get new management, and more attractions are still coming to Disneyland making the price of admission well worth it.