Originally I was planning on using this post to necrobump an old thread on the topic of theoretical Toad updates (https://forums.wdwmagic.com/threads/mr-toad’s-wild-ride-updates-you’d-like-to-see.973175/), but as I drew near the completion of my stupidly long comment, I decided that it would probably be better if I were to create my own thread for it instead.
The idea of making changes to Toad is troubling because of how divisive it would be to alter such an ancient ride in any significant capacity, and how difficult it would be to do anything new in the first place given the extremely limited ride space. However, I've given this very thing countless hours of thought over the course of many years, and during that time I've come up with a number of changes that I feel would enhance the experience without hampering the ride's classic character in any way. Rather than propose modern show elements such as projection mapping, audio-animatronics, or advanced ride vehicle movement, I've opted solely to expand upon what already makes Toad a masterpiece—adding on to the ride's unrelenting chaos and improving its presentation only in ways that keep its flat, unhinged, technologically limited charm perfectly intact.
So, if for some inexplicable reason I had access to an exact copy of Mr. Toad's Wild Ride in its own dedicated pocket dimension, and I had full agency to make whatever changes I wanted to it, then I would do all of the following things:
- Restore the original pitch of The Merrily Song in the loading queue, because the sped-up version that's been in use for the past sixteen or so years is very weird and fairly obnoxious.
- Maybe replace the nameless narrator in Toad Hall with Cyril, if it turns out that his voice isn't too grating to hear for extended periods of time. The reason for this is to somewhat make up for the fact that Cyril doesn't get a real appearance in the ride.
- Add a different crash sound for every door/breakaway flat that doesn't already have one. Preferably, any new sounds should be either recorded with vintage audio equipment or have a filter applied to them such that they don't stick out from the rest of the ride's sound effects.
- Implement better use of the musical score throughout the ride by properly feeding music into every scene (save for a select few that are intentionally left without) and ensuring that the music always matches the mood of the scene it's in. The male/female duet version of The Merrily Song now exclusively plays in the queue area, the train chase music from the animated film plays without interruption from the library to the end of the countryside scene, and the frantic prison break music (now the full version from the film, featuring a hefty portion of the song that's absent in the current ride) plays from the harbor to the town square. Everything from the courtroom onward remains the same, with no music until the cheery instrumental version of The Merrily Song in the hell scene.
- Make the suit of armor in Toad Hall fall more suddenly, and add a sound effect to it.
- May be slightly controversial, but re-theme the weasel hallway into a pantry where guests knock aside a tea cart and a small table before reaching a frazzled old human maid at the end of the room, who loses her balance with a wobbling tea tray in hand. She would yell something like, "Heaven preserve me!" as guests approach her. In my opinion, this is a more chaotic and effective use of this space than the weasels swinging on chandeliers, which, while somewhat iconic, are entirely overhead and present no real obstacle for the motorcars. The weasels in my theoretical revamp make a number of appearances later on, and it never made a lot of sense for them to be in Toad Hall to begin with, so they're really not needed here.
- As Rich T. suggested in the original thread, add Ratty to the dining room, and retheme the chamber into a pool room if it adds more scenic variety to Toad Hall. Additionally, give both Moley and Ratty some brief exclamations of shock and dismay toward their very rude introduction to Toad's latest mania.
- Seal the open wall between the first cop and the town square scene. I genuinely have no idea why this was done in the first place, as the only thing it accomplishes is having guests on either side take in a glimpse of random scenery that's entirely unrelated to their current location in the ride and doesn't really make sense to be visible (and for riders on the town square side in particular, allowing for an occasional awkward glance into the dining room of Toad Hall that very much reveals it as a set in a dark ride). On the cop side, the new wall is painted with a mural of the familiar countryside scenery (with the exterior of Toad Hall extending into the distance), while on the town square side, the wall is painted with an additional building, maybe something like a butcher or leather shop.
- Remove the leaping cop from the turn after Ratty's house and replace him with the shepherd and his animals. This is done so that the shepherd's original location can be occupied by something that I think would work better in that spot, which I'll elaborate on soon. The giant mirror can be replaced by a mural of rolling meadows and a distant farmhouse, and the sheep in the horse cart are now positioned on the ground behind the shepherd rather than on a stone bridge.
- Add a cop in front of the mural of the parked police van (immediately before the bridge with police officers on it). This new cop jumps straight up in shock—his domed helmet flying off his head—and he reuses the "HALT!" and "STOP!" lines from the leaping cop in the current ride.
- In the top-left corner of the building, have the middle of the long straightaway re-themed into a small barn that guests crash through, sending a flock of chickens into a frenzy; a classic gag that calls back to the 1971 WDW version of the ride.
- Another Rich T. suggestion, this one being something we both came up with independently: Have the shepherd's former location occupied by the motorcycle cop from the original pre-1983 ride. This is a very simple but effective gag that creates an extra layer of tension going into the harbor scene, with guests feeling as though they're being chased down the wharf by the officer as his siren and engine are heard. The motorcycle cop is situated in front of a backdrop of a rural hamlet, with a painted assortment of cottages and shops crowding inward at the far end of the room, thus creating a more gradual transition from countryside to harbor. Furthermore, with the barn immediately preceding this, guests are no longer made to approach a character at the end of the straightaway for an awkwardly long time before actually interacting with them, as the motorcycle cop wouldn't be visible until the barn has been passed through.
- Yet another Rich T. suggestion: Replace the dangling crate at the harbor with one like its pre-1983 iteration, which, to my understanding, would startle riders by lowering slowly at first before dropping suddenly.
- Repaint the brick wall at the end of the warehouse (the one that disguises the doors leading to the maintenance area) into a set of wooden double doors, in front of which are a pair of weasels attempting to escape with stolen explosives. They can have a few very brief lines of dialogue in which they express their grievances toward their upcoming predicament before the whole place gets blown away.
- Probably a bit controversial, but replace the cartoony explosion visuals after the warehouse with an extension of the narrow, twisty alleyway that succeeds it. The explosion is still insinuated via the same flashing lights and sound effects, but the implication is now that it happens behind riders rather than in front of them. The reason for this change is to flesh out the alleyway scene, which I think could potentially be a more effective and intense use of that bit of the track than the explosion graphics.
- In the alleyway, add a series of dark windows on the buildings that light up in succession as guests swerve through the scene, implying that the explosion has just woken up the whole city. As this happens, the air is filled with a cacophony of wailing sirens, clanging bells, and distant police whistles and barking search dogs, creating a heightened atmosphere of pursuit very similar to the panicked, noise-drenched streets of London from the film immediately after Toad escapes prison.
Additionally, all of the scenery in the alleyway is painted to appear more in line with the dark, grimy streets in the movie.
- In the pub, add a table of squabbling, poker-playing weasels that guests knock to the side, and redesign Winky such that he's slightly smaller, has a more sudden and convincing ducking animation, and has an outraged look on his face. Additionally, give him a bit of dialogue chewing out riders for wreaking havoc on his establishment. The distant clamor of frantic whistles and bells and whatnot continues to be heard not only inside the pub but also in the subsequent town square.
- Remove the Toad dialogue that plays in the pub and town square scenes, as it's more distracting than immersive in my opinion.
- In the town square, in front of the new building that stands where the huge opening in the wall once was, add a police squad situated in a horse-drawn carriage (either entirely flat or half-3D depending on what space allows). One of the officers recognizes guests as culprits, pointing at them and shouting something to the effect of, "There he is! After him!" after which ensues a commotion of clamorous bells and whinnying, galloping horses.
- Repaint the prosecutor's face so that he stares at riders rather than the prison doors.
- Remodel the prison/railroad crossing scene to better reflect the idea that guests are sent toward the prison but escape by veering away into a train tunnel. In the current ride, this scene is a bit vague due to the weird dungeon-like setting, the lack of any real railroad crossing features, and the tunnel being somewhat poorly defined. It almost feels like the doors leading out of the courtroom take guests immediately to the inside of the prison, with a train inexplicably running straight through the prison corridors.
To make the intention of the scene more clear, the mural of the prison is repainted to portray an obvious exterior view of the imposing fortress-like building under moonlit skies, with a cobblestone road leading straight up to it. The stone arch is removed, and a ringing, flashing railroad crossbuck (the X-shaped sign with bells and lights) is added to the left side of the room, with a striped gate closing down to block off the way to the prison and force the motorcar to the right. The entrance to the train tunnel is remodeled as well, ditching the crude wooden beams of the current iteration in favor of a more recognizable stone arch appearance. The breakaway gate in front of the tunnel itself is also removed, simply because it doesn't make too much sense for it to be there.
All of this results in a less confusing scene that clearly insinuates that the area immediately following the courtroom is meant to be outside of the prison, and that there is indeed a railroad crossing in between the prison and the courthouse which leads off into a train tunnel. Additionally, the single cop to the left side of the room is replaced by a couple of escapee chain gang weasels, who, having accidentally caught themselves in the crossing as the gates close, glance back into the direction of the tunnel with looks of terror. Another benefit of this remodeled prison scene is that the inclusion of the railroad crossing and the startled weasels provides a reasonable degree of foreshadowing for what's about to come, which is something the current ride—in which the train tunnel comes with no warning whatsoever—lacks completely.
- Rework the train light mechanism such that the light actually moves forward (coming at riders from the back of the corridor and stopping near the middle), the light no longer exposes bits of the metal beams that hold it in place (if possible), and the two small red lights are moved considerably lower so that the visual effect of the train is more imposing and fills more of the tunnel.
- Remodel the devils in the hell scene to give them more expression. Some derisively point at guests, while others aim their pitchforks directly at them, and most have their mouths wide open to really emphasize their sinister laughter, revealing sharp teeth and and forked tongues. The current devils are likely the same ones that were added to the ride in 1961, so a few of them can be kept just for their historic value. Additionally, the devils' laughter is now more unhinged and continuous, and the hell dragon is given more convincing effects, with the orange blaze in its throat gradually growing larger before dying out suddenly, followed by a plume of smoke spilling from the dragon's mouth as it coughs.
- Finally, the most important change of them all: Repaint all of the characters so that they have five fingers instead of four lmao
I've gone through a few "imaginary" ridethroughs of this updated version of Toad by watching videos of the attraction while visualizing each one of my proposed gags and vignettes in time with where they would appear. The result is even more of a maddening onslaught of chaos and destruction than the current version of the ride, with not even a single semblance of a dull moment. If you ask me, implementing all of this would easily yield the best version of Mr. Toad's Wild Ride to date.
While all of this sounds incredible to me, what would you personally make of it? Opinions of all sorts are appreciated.
The idea of making changes to Toad is troubling because of how divisive it would be to alter such an ancient ride in any significant capacity, and how difficult it would be to do anything new in the first place given the extremely limited ride space. However, I've given this very thing countless hours of thought over the course of many years, and during that time I've come up with a number of changes that I feel would enhance the experience without hampering the ride's classic character in any way. Rather than propose modern show elements such as projection mapping, audio-animatronics, or advanced ride vehicle movement, I've opted solely to expand upon what already makes Toad a masterpiece—adding on to the ride's unrelenting chaos and improving its presentation only in ways that keep its flat, unhinged, technologically limited charm perfectly intact.
So, if for some inexplicable reason I had access to an exact copy of Mr. Toad's Wild Ride in its own dedicated pocket dimension, and I had full agency to make whatever changes I wanted to it, then I would do all of the following things:
- Restore the original pitch of The Merrily Song in the loading queue, because the sped-up version that's been in use for the past sixteen or so years is very weird and fairly obnoxious.
- Maybe replace the nameless narrator in Toad Hall with Cyril, if it turns out that his voice isn't too grating to hear for extended periods of time. The reason for this is to somewhat make up for the fact that Cyril doesn't get a real appearance in the ride.
- Add a different crash sound for every door/breakaway flat that doesn't already have one. Preferably, any new sounds should be either recorded with vintage audio equipment or have a filter applied to them such that they don't stick out from the rest of the ride's sound effects.
- Implement better use of the musical score throughout the ride by properly feeding music into every scene (save for a select few that are intentionally left without) and ensuring that the music always matches the mood of the scene it's in. The male/female duet version of The Merrily Song now exclusively plays in the queue area, the train chase music from the animated film plays without interruption from the library to the end of the countryside scene, and the frantic prison break music (now the full version from the film, featuring a hefty portion of the song that's absent in the current ride) plays from the harbor to the town square. Everything from the courtroom onward remains the same, with no music until the cheery instrumental version of The Merrily Song in the hell scene.
- Make the suit of armor in Toad Hall fall more suddenly, and add a sound effect to it.
- May be slightly controversial, but re-theme the weasel hallway into a pantry where guests knock aside a tea cart and a small table before reaching a frazzled old human maid at the end of the room, who loses her balance with a wobbling tea tray in hand. She would yell something like, "Heaven preserve me!" as guests approach her. In my opinion, this is a more chaotic and effective use of this space than the weasels swinging on chandeliers, which, while somewhat iconic, are entirely overhead and present no real obstacle for the motorcars. The weasels in my theoretical revamp make a number of appearances later on, and it never made a lot of sense for them to be in Toad Hall to begin with, so they're really not needed here.
- As Rich T. suggested in the original thread, add Ratty to the dining room, and retheme the chamber into a pool room if it adds more scenic variety to Toad Hall. Additionally, give both Moley and Ratty some brief exclamations of shock and dismay toward their very rude introduction to Toad's latest mania.
- Seal the open wall between the first cop and the town square scene. I genuinely have no idea why this was done in the first place, as the only thing it accomplishes is having guests on either side take in a glimpse of random scenery that's entirely unrelated to their current location in the ride and doesn't really make sense to be visible (and for riders on the town square side in particular, allowing for an occasional awkward glance into the dining room of Toad Hall that very much reveals it as a set in a dark ride). On the cop side, the new wall is painted with a mural of the familiar countryside scenery (with the exterior of Toad Hall extending into the distance), while on the town square side, the wall is painted with an additional building, maybe something like a butcher or leather shop.
- Remove the leaping cop from the turn after Ratty's house and replace him with the shepherd and his animals. This is done so that the shepherd's original location can be occupied by something that I think would work better in that spot, which I'll elaborate on soon. The giant mirror can be replaced by a mural of rolling meadows and a distant farmhouse, and the sheep in the horse cart are now positioned on the ground behind the shepherd rather than on a stone bridge.
- Add a cop in front of the mural of the parked police van (immediately before the bridge with police officers on it). This new cop jumps straight up in shock—his domed helmet flying off his head—and he reuses the "HALT!" and "STOP!" lines from the leaping cop in the current ride.
- In the top-left corner of the building, have the middle of the long straightaway re-themed into a small barn that guests crash through, sending a flock of chickens into a frenzy; a classic gag that calls back to the 1971 WDW version of the ride.
- Another Rich T. suggestion, this one being something we both came up with independently: Have the shepherd's former location occupied by the motorcycle cop from the original pre-1983 ride. This is a very simple but effective gag that creates an extra layer of tension going into the harbor scene, with guests feeling as though they're being chased down the wharf by the officer as his siren and engine are heard. The motorcycle cop is situated in front of a backdrop of a rural hamlet, with a painted assortment of cottages and shops crowding inward at the far end of the room, thus creating a more gradual transition from countryside to harbor. Furthermore, with the barn immediately preceding this, guests are no longer made to approach a character at the end of the straightaway for an awkwardly long time before actually interacting with them, as the motorcycle cop wouldn't be visible until the barn has been passed through.
- Yet another Rich T. suggestion: Replace the dangling crate at the harbor with one like its pre-1983 iteration, which, to my understanding, would startle riders by lowering slowly at first before dropping suddenly.
- Repaint the brick wall at the end of the warehouse (the one that disguises the doors leading to the maintenance area) into a set of wooden double doors, in front of which are a pair of weasels attempting to escape with stolen explosives. They can have a few very brief lines of dialogue in which they express their grievances toward their upcoming predicament before the whole place gets blown away.
- Probably a bit controversial, but replace the cartoony explosion visuals after the warehouse with an extension of the narrow, twisty alleyway that succeeds it. The explosion is still insinuated via the same flashing lights and sound effects, but the implication is now that it happens behind riders rather than in front of them. The reason for this change is to flesh out the alleyway scene, which I think could potentially be a more effective and intense use of that bit of the track than the explosion graphics.
- In the alleyway, add a series of dark windows on the buildings that light up in succession as guests swerve through the scene, implying that the explosion has just woken up the whole city. As this happens, the air is filled with a cacophony of wailing sirens, clanging bells, and distant police whistles and barking search dogs, creating a heightened atmosphere of pursuit very similar to the panicked, noise-drenched streets of London from the film immediately after Toad escapes prison.
Additionally, all of the scenery in the alleyway is painted to appear more in line with the dark, grimy streets in the movie.
- In the pub, add a table of squabbling, poker-playing weasels that guests knock to the side, and redesign Winky such that he's slightly smaller, has a more sudden and convincing ducking animation, and has an outraged look on his face. Additionally, give him a bit of dialogue chewing out riders for wreaking havoc on his establishment. The distant clamor of frantic whistles and bells and whatnot continues to be heard not only inside the pub but also in the subsequent town square.
- Remove the Toad dialogue that plays in the pub and town square scenes, as it's more distracting than immersive in my opinion.
- In the town square, in front of the new building that stands where the huge opening in the wall once was, add a police squad situated in a horse-drawn carriage (either entirely flat or half-3D depending on what space allows). One of the officers recognizes guests as culprits, pointing at them and shouting something to the effect of, "There he is! After him!" after which ensues a commotion of clamorous bells and whinnying, galloping horses.
- Repaint the prosecutor's face so that he stares at riders rather than the prison doors.
- Remodel the prison/railroad crossing scene to better reflect the idea that guests are sent toward the prison but escape by veering away into a train tunnel. In the current ride, this scene is a bit vague due to the weird dungeon-like setting, the lack of any real railroad crossing features, and the tunnel being somewhat poorly defined. It almost feels like the doors leading out of the courtroom take guests immediately to the inside of the prison, with a train inexplicably running straight through the prison corridors.
To make the intention of the scene more clear, the mural of the prison is repainted to portray an obvious exterior view of the imposing fortress-like building under moonlit skies, with a cobblestone road leading straight up to it. The stone arch is removed, and a ringing, flashing railroad crossbuck (the X-shaped sign with bells and lights) is added to the left side of the room, with a striped gate closing down to block off the way to the prison and force the motorcar to the right. The entrance to the train tunnel is remodeled as well, ditching the crude wooden beams of the current iteration in favor of a more recognizable stone arch appearance. The breakaway gate in front of the tunnel itself is also removed, simply because it doesn't make too much sense for it to be there.
All of this results in a less confusing scene that clearly insinuates that the area immediately following the courtroom is meant to be outside of the prison, and that there is indeed a railroad crossing in between the prison and the courthouse which leads off into a train tunnel. Additionally, the single cop to the left side of the room is replaced by a couple of escapee chain gang weasels, who, having accidentally caught themselves in the crossing as the gates close, glance back into the direction of the tunnel with looks of terror. Another benefit of this remodeled prison scene is that the inclusion of the railroad crossing and the startled weasels provides a reasonable degree of foreshadowing for what's about to come, which is something the current ride—in which the train tunnel comes with no warning whatsoever—lacks completely.
- Rework the train light mechanism such that the light actually moves forward (coming at riders from the back of the corridor and stopping near the middle), the light no longer exposes bits of the metal beams that hold it in place (if possible), and the two small red lights are moved considerably lower so that the visual effect of the train is more imposing and fills more of the tunnel.
- Remodel the devils in the hell scene to give them more expression. Some derisively point at guests, while others aim their pitchforks directly at them, and most have their mouths wide open to really emphasize their sinister laughter, revealing sharp teeth and and forked tongues. The current devils are likely the same ones that were added to the ride in 1961, so a few of them can be kept just for their historic value. Additionally, the devils' laughter is now more unhinged and continuous, and the hell dragon is given more convincing effects, with the orange blaze in its throat gradually growing larger before dying out suddenly, followed by a plume of smoke spilling from the dragon's mouth as it coughs.
- Finally, the most important change of them all: Repaint all of the characters so that they have five fingers instead of four lmao
I've gone through a few "imaginary" ridethroughs of this updated version of Toad by watching videos of the attraction while visualizing each one of my proposed gags and vignettes in time with where they would appear. The result is even more of a maddening onslaught of chaos and destruction than the current version of the ride, with not even a single semblance of a dull moment. If you ask me, implementing all of this would easily yield the best version of Mr. Toad's Wild Ride to date.
While all of this sounds incredible to me, what would you personally make of it? Opinions of all sorts are appreciated.
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