One Sentence Competition: Monopoly Edition

[D Hulk]

HAROLD HAUNTS HIKERS

The latest overlay to Disneyland’s Matterhorn Bobsleds adds a gaggle of inexperienced mountain climbers to the summit, all of them complete with backstory, all of them scattered around the peak engaged in a wide variety of Marc Davis-esque shenanigans.

Take for instance Professors Mankiewicz and Sloan seen outside scaling the southern slope while a mountain goat torments their tushes with his horns, or Lord Monroe climbing with his gear strewn on the rock face below, or Kingsley Reginald III who’s constructed a basketball court within the snowbound caverns.

Or consider the scene which greets riders at the top of the lift hill (while they’re still traveling slow enough to take it in), where Baron von Flautulitz inspects an abominable footprint, fully unaware that Harold the Yeti looms right behind him, his icy breath steaming with fury.

COMMUNITY CHEST: Disney softens the blow of these additions by literally softening the blow, adding additional bobsled padding and reprofiling the coaster track, to altogether make Matterhorn Bobsleds far less damaging on guests’ coccyxes.​

 

[Tony the Tigger]

I wonder if it’s feasible to try to tell a complete story in this kind of attraction, as I don’t think any one rider would be able to see the whole thing in one go. Perhaps taking a more impressionistic approach would better suit both this property and attraction? There’s a lot of creativity in this ride system usage!

With apologies - Joe Jonas met & greeted 800 people at my store on Friday, and the whole week leading up to it was prep, so I never got to do my drawing.

Realizing it is fully after the fact, to answer your question, yes! That was what the design and description suggested: the full story. It’s a simple story and the ride is meant to skew younger, but it’s just a matter of engineering to make the cylinders the right size and move at the right speed (likely not all the same speed) to have everyone experience the same story. Much like individual Doom Buggies will turn to show you the same story in HM.

If you are looking down from the sky, imagine a large, circular outer edge, where you’ll see the larger story points (interior.) You’ll have a center pole/cylinder much like a carousel, hiding the mechanism and so forth, which will be covered with mostly less time sensitive “background” - Unnamed woodland creatures and (twice, since he’s encountered twice) the hunter. Where you see each of those is more random and less important.

On a track in-between the two cylinders are 4 mini carousels, so when your carousel spins to face the outer cylinder, you’ll see the next story point. Your entire cluster of 4 mini carousels continues to revolve around the center simultaneously. Obviously multiple clusters of 4 minis. Totally works, I almost guarantee it lol.

P.S. if, and that’s a big if, you wanted to make it more modern, sporadic screens could be involved. For example, instead of just seeing the hunter molded into the center cylinder, you could have a screen (surrounded by branches) where you actually see and hear him walking away.

 

[Miru]

Big Thunder (and 'Lightning') McMountain

You never thought that the "little bit of new magic" coming to BTM next year would help preview the new Cars addition to Frontierland, did you—well, think again! The iconic turn over the River will soon become "Lightning Pass," where Thunder and Lightning collide...almost! A new effect has Lightning McQueen nearly collide with your runaway mine train, only for you to quickly swerve out of the way; this creates perfect synergy with everyone's favorite upcoming Magic Kingdom project!

View attachment 860454
[and yes, he is that big]

Community Chest:

Disney begins selling Lightning McQueen saltshakers to easily heap salt into the wounds of all those who mourn the Rivers of America.

I feel like the second one doesn’t fit what he asked for and is more of rubbing salt into the wound. But heck, we could have a second challenge for each one. Call it “Chance”.

 

[Earlie the Pearlie]

I feel like the second one doesn’t fit what he asked for and is more of rubbing salt into the wound. But heck, we could have a second challenge for each one. Call it “Chance”.

I’ll accept it! The bonus point is more of a wild card chance to show what you think might please the fanbase, realistically or cartoonishly. It shouldn’t have a major impact on the scores; it’s more of a completion point, and I’d say this completes it!

 

[Disgruntled Walt]

I feel like the second one doesn’t fit what he asked for and is more of rubbing salt into the wound. But heck, we could have a second challenge for each one. Call it “Chance”.

I intended it as a joke. It's literally rubbing salt in the wound!

 

[Lord Fozzinator]

dON’t DRuNk ANd DrIVe... wait

(Almost had a stroke writing that) Added to Test Track 3.0 is a new scene at the end that shows the dangers of being intoxicated while driving, this will serve to be education and teach people the dangers of drunk driving (since people wanna be stupid, outta wack you in the head for the level of disrespect to the roads).

When guests make a turn and a practical effect of a drunk man (Chad) driving a mustang with a drunk girl (Jessica) in the passenger seat would be speeded along side guests, while momentarily slowing down, they try to challenge guests to a race, that is cut short when police sirens appear behind the cars and the drunk duo speeds off.

Guests make their final turn and see the wreck of the mustang as Chad and Jessica run into the forest as police chase them for evading the police, a taser is heard (hit him right in the booty cheeks) as guests quickly drive away as Chad tries to drunkenly argue with police about his medical bills for a broken coccyx.

Community Chest:

Test Track will now sell seat softeners to soften the blow of a broken coccyx, they are very soft and they will make sure to soften the blow of a broken coccyx, they are made out of a very soft material and are very soft on your bank account (I’m going to stop now).​

 

[Tegan pilots a chicken]

Upside-down Journey Into Imagination

Disney execs have heard the cries of the fandom and are finally responding by giving Journey Into Imagination with Figment the long awaited update it deserves…

…. by spending $12.5M to turn the ride upside down.

Thats right; every set piece throughout the ride is relocated to the ceiling, with the exception of Figments Fun House, which is now positioned comfortably along the ride track!

What could possibly be better?!

Community Chest:

Don’t adjust your sets! Disney celebrates “The Summer of Imagination” by broadcasting a series of commercials,… upside-down!
Magic!!​

 

[Miru]

I intended it as a joke. It's literally rubbing salt in the wound!

Do you have a serious answer for community chest, too?

 

[Earlie the Pearlie]

Do you have a serious answer for community chest, too?

I’m going to accept what they wrote. At best, an excellent bonus can elevate your whole project, but at its heart the bonus is just, well, a bonus. I won’t fault anyone for having some fun with it!

 

[Mr. Sullivan]

INTRODUCING THE SMALL WORLD STREAKER

Everyone remembers where they were in 2023 when news broke that a man was streaking through the iconic and beloved Disneyland classic 'it's a small world'.

Seeing the virality of the moment, Disney has decided that it should not just be a memory, but rather an exciting new addition to an already beloved attraction!

Coming next spring at Dinseyland, guests will pass by the iconic reflecting pool scene to find a life size Mary Blair doll of the Small World streaker sitting in the water, bobbing back and forth and singing along to the iconic anthem as the boat passes by him.

COMMUNITY CHEST: To soften the blow of this new change to the beloved ride, Disney will be selling a limited edition popcorn bucket of The Small World Streaker wearing Figment boxers (because Figment fixes everything).​

 

[Half/CartoonHalf/Human]

The Poker Pirates​

(They would be in the red circle in the picture, as I’m too lazy to actually draw them.)

Pirates Of The Caribbean at Disneyland has a lot of pirate characters we all know & love, so why not add another, or 3 more in this case? As guests sail through the burning town, before entering the jail, a new gag above the Pig Pirate can now be seen, with it being 3 unnamed pirates standing around a barrel while playing a trading game with their gold (Not poker, I know, the name supposed to be ironic), as they sing along to the beloved A Pirates Life For Me!
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Community Chest​

A brand new T-Shirt is made with the new pirates, with a tagline that reads “Challenge me to a game, me hearties!”​

 

[ThemeParkPriest]

Disneyland Railroad Stick-up

Josh D’Amaro, head of Walt Disney Imagineering: whined, “The Disneyland Railroad needs some action as it long and boring.” Now as guests leave Frontierland Station, they are told that “robberies were quite common in the frontier; in fact, if you look to your right, you will see a stick-up.” Cue stick standing up with the word “UP” and an arrow pointing north.

Community Chest: all members of Club 33 will get a coupon for a free Churro stick to help sell the addition.

 

[Earlie the Pearlie]

This round has been absolutely hysterical so far - thank you to everyone who’s joined in on this less traditional prompt! So far, I think it’s been a success. Every submission has been a delight; I’ll have a hard time judging them!

This is just a friendly reminder that all submissions are due tomorrow night at 12:00 PM PST. Let me know if this last prompt’s runtime felt too short - I want to find a good balance that works for everyone going forward!

Also, in case you haven’t seen it, current point distribution is in the thread’s first post! This includes submissions, Community Chest points, and extra points for the winners of both the first and warmup points!​

 

[OvertheHorizon]

EPIC DECEPTION

As guests enter the greenhouse area of the Listen to the Land boat ride at Epcot, nestled in the sand where Disney often does seasonal displays (like a snowman at the holidays) is a model of a certain new park that just opened. A voice over the boat’s speaker announces, “Here it is friends, what you all have wanted to see – Epic Universe.” The voice goes on to say, “Now that you’ve seen it, you can continue to enjoy your stay here at Walt Disney World.”

Community Chest: As guests look at each other bewildered, the boat rounds the bend and Goofy’s voice can be heard saying, “Just kidding folks.”

 

[PerGron]

Tomorrowland Spaceport Gate

Replacing the hairstylist of the future aboard the Tomorrowland Transit Authority PeopleMover is a new vignette based around the classic PeopleMover line “Paging Mr. Morrow, Mr. Tom Morrow, please contact Mr. Johnson in the control tower about your trip to the moon”.

The room will now display a futuristic take on an airport gate complete with uncomfortable seats, charging ports, and repeated loudspeaker pings calling for different things including telling travelers not to leave “bags, luggage, goo sacks, jetpacks, robot assistants, or other personal items.” unattended and to report suspicious activity, reporting the boarding of “Mars Flight 1-9-7-1,” and of course paging Mr. Morrow about his trip to the moon.

Passing through the room guests see advertisements on a changing screen for “A Night with Sonny Eclipse at Cosmic Ray’s Starlight Lounge,” an advertisement for a tourism agency hosting exciting trips to Mesa Verde, and a sign for cream cheese stuffed pretzels only at the Lunching Pad while a final voice over the speaker advertising the Tomorrowland Airways; taking guests “to infinity and beyond.”

Community Chest
In order to drum up excitement for the new scene, Disney announced the construction of new PeopleMover attractions at most of their resorts around the world including Tomorrowland at Shanghai Disneyland, Discoveryland at Disneyland Paris, Tomorrowland at Hong Kong Disneyland, and finally Tomorrowland at Tokyo Disneyland; all the places that need one!​

 

[Lizzy May Bee]

FIXING Star Tours
Star Tours (technically The Adventures Continue but who calls it that?) claims to be the definitive Star Wars ride yet excludes the funniest, most iconic, beloved scene from any piece of Star Wars related media. That’s right, a new segment will be added to represent the peak of George Lucas’s creative vision, get excited for a full recreation of…

Spoiler: my big new addition

JEDI ROCKS BAYBEEE!!!

Spoiler: Community Chest

Joh Yowza Popcorn Bucket, that’s it that’s all I got.

 

[Architectural Guinea Pig]

Babies on Sticks: The Sequel!

The Incredicoaster currently has a special infamous gag so hideous it gags passing theme park fans - the feared and admired Jack-Jack(s)-on-Sticks, and in order to satisfy and appease enraged park-goers, Disney has created yet another gag to give explanation to why they opted to have theming-on-a-stick, but this time in the ride directly under, Toy Story Midway Mania!!! Sprinkled throughout the queue of the attraction, new figures of the various Incredicoaster characters from the franchise hang desperately in the rafters in an attempt to balance a large number of sticks- that's right, they're trying to catch Jack Jack playing on the roof! Additionally, new animations of the Incredicoaster characters will now be added to the attraction's gameplay: hit a bullseye on Jack Jack and earn a whopping 10,000 points- and the stick he's on will swiftly disappear to have the infamous super baby be caught by one of the Incredibles characters.
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Community Chest: In order to make sure EVERYONE is on board with the changes, Disney also released an entirely new snack to the menu of Jack Jack's Cookie Nums Nums, the food stand- and it has, you guessed it- Cookies on Sticks, or kebabs with miniature cookies themed to various Incredibles characters: Frozone's white cookie has blue icing, Violet's is purple with chocolate chips, etc. Yum!

Edit: Apologies Earlie, I thought I already submitted but turns out my post was still a draft!​

 

[Earlie the Pearlie]

Hey everyone-
Ran into some Real Life stuff this morning when I was planning on posting reviews. I’ve got them all ready to go, but I won’t be able to sit down with my computer and format everything until this afternoon. Sorry for the delay, and thank you all for your patience!

 

[WaltWiz1901]

A Muddy Retreat​

The forthcoming World of Motion-inspired overhaul of Test Track sees the return of sorts of at least one gag from the long-lost attraction. Instead of nearly colliding with a semi-truck, guests now find themselves having to swerve away from a contemporary automobile...only to share a mudbath with an out-of-control biker and a pair of happy hogs!

Community Chest​

Best I can come up with on short notice is a shirt design of the gag being replaced

 

[Earlie the Pearlie]

St. Charles Place Reviews

What a fantastically funny round this was! I tried to be a bit more concise with these reviews - plus, I generally have a bit less to say due to the nature of this prompt. Let’s get right into it!
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@Miru

This is a funny way to incorporate some characters from across the Cars universe, although I’m not sure how it would impact the pacing of the ride. It’s still a very off-the-wall way to start an off-the-wall round, and I applaud that!

Community Chest: I’m all for more Muppets representation, and I’d certainly buy that popcorn bucket!
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@Disney Warrior

I enjoyed this assault on TBA’s lack of narrative structure, though I’m not sure how it would read to riders. The art made me smile!

Community Chest: I can just imagine the social media frenzy! But wouldn’t increasing the amount of available Lightning Lanes decrease the value of all Lightning Lanes, thus rendering this prize invalid? If that was your intention, I’m all for it!
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@Brer Panther

This would be a very solid and easily read addition to the Jungle Cruise. I love the variety of the animals you’ve included (is this perhaps an @PerGron alt?!?), and the sloth bear snoozing on the shotgun is a wonderful Davisian tableau. The bit with the monkey is just the cherry on top of a clever and well-executed gag!

Community Chest: This is a fantastic way to reuse these animatronics, instead of removing them entirely!
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Big Thunder (and ‘Lightning’) McMountain

@Disgruntled Walt

KA-CHOW! I’m bitter about the Rivers, so this helps me feed that unrelenting anger! I can’t help but feel utterly repulsed by this pitch, unfortunately, because this is something that I actually see WDW trying. Blergh. That doesn’t change the delightfully devilish nature of this submission, though!

Community Chest: These salt shakers are already controversial, and they don’t even exist, so I can’t imagine the fury they would foster!
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Harold Haunts Hikers

@D Hulk

This is probably the most comprehensive pitch from this round. Each gag is wonderfully realized, and would provide a great plus to a ride that has been slowly but steadily deteriorating for almost 70 years. The character names are fantastically goofy (I love Baron von Flautulitz in particular), and the little references you’ve strewn about elevate the whole pitch!

Community Chest: Coupled with your other additions, this would elevate the Matterhorn to a world-class attraction once again!​