Oh that's so sad for the 7 year old who hasn't been taught that. Does he have some sort of cognitive disorder that would limit what he could do independently? My autistic son had some issues, not with bathroom use really, but you had to give him VERY specific instructions because he would do EXACTLY what you told him to. If you told him to rinse off his plate in the sink, that's what he did, without looking to see if there was something else in the sink that he needed to take out first. We ended up with lettuce with chocolate sprinkles because he didn't get that he should take out the collander of lettuce I had draining. And he's a very intelligent kid, but he needs to be told exactly what you want from him.
I live in a low income neighborhood here, and there are a LOT of foreign families in this neighborhood. A lot of them aren't used to the norms here with school conferences, etc. I used to walk with some kids because every time I saw them walking to school, without a parent, they were walking in the middle of the street instead of on the sidewalk. I would tell them that was dangerous and to stay on the sidewalk where they wouldn't get hit by a car. But I never ever saw a parent with them. The boy was a target for bullies, and he ended up getting in trouble all the time because these kids would pick at him until he blew up and retaliated. He wasn't a bad kid at all, but the bullies knew exactly when to act.
But kids learn what they live. I was in the parent organization when my kids were in school, and I can't even count the number of times this one woman said she didn't want her kid eating something that came from the home of a foreigner because you don't know where it's been. Every year at Christmas, each class had a pot luck dinner, and you were supposed to make something to share with the class, and preferably things that Muslims could eat (no pork). It was always cool to see what the international families brought. Baklava, dolma, Turkish pizza, etc. And for Easter, they wanted the kids to draw names and make breakfast for whomever they got. This woman complained about the possibility her kid would get breakfast from a foreign kid!! I caught her kid pointing and shouting "Turk! Turk!" at another boy (who wasn't Turkish) because he had darker skin and hair. And he and his friends also bullied A a lot in school.
The best friend's mom was always nasty to me, making snide remarks and being judgmental. They don't usually do bus transportation for activities....like, the school would send a note home saying "We're going to a theater performance on this date. Please have your child at this address at this time on said date." and you had to figure out how to get your kid there. It was always a problem for me, because I have 2 kids and one would need to be at school as usual and the other across town. But I didn't have a driver's license or car, and many parents had the same issue. So the exception was if you signed your kid up to stay for lunch that day, then they arranged for all the kids who stayed for lunch to go with teachers, so I would sign the kids up for lunch whenever there was an activity because I couldn't be in two places. This mom overheard me talking to the teacher about arranging transportation and then she loudly said to the other moms "I hate those moms who are so lazy that they can't even take their kids somewhere, and sign them up for lunch just so they can get someone else to take them." And she made comments like this all the time. Her kid was a little brat who bullied everyone else....where do you think he learned it?
I was helping with the end of the year track meet one year and got stuck leading a group with her. I was recovering from a sinus infection and bronchitis and I was still coughing and having breathing issues. One parent from each group was supposed to run with the kids on the warm up lap. She looks at me and says "You go. You need the exercise." Then she refused to "spend her day counting heads" and if one of the kids ran off, too bad. We had a girl who had JUST turned 4 in our group, and her dad was working one of the events and she kept trying to run off to her dad, and I kept having to run after her because this woman didn't even notice the little girl wasn't with us. She says "Well, if they don't want their kid to run off, they should be here helping! I'm tired of being the only parent who shows up to these things to help." I'm like....A, there are LOTS of other parents who help, B, HER dad is helping too, and she JUST started at school last week when she turned 4!! But this woman and her kid's best friend's mom were just AWFUL. The one kid threatened to kill A in first grade and when I went to the mom about it, she just laughed and says "Oh, he probably heard that on one of his video games. They are always saying 'I kill you'...it's just a joke." I feel bad for the teachers who have to deal with these "darlings" every day. It's got to be EXHAUSTING.
