Yeah, my dad wouldn't take time off work for the Daddy Daughter Tea, so I either had to ask a friend to take me, or skip it. My dad didn't even take time off for my high school graduation. He showed up, watched the beginning and then left to go to work. No idea if he even saw me get my diploma. He DID switch shifts so he could come to my wedding. I only remember him stopping by on one birthday to drop off my present. My baby book lists people who were there at my first 2 birthdays, and my mom noted that my dad was not present because he decided to go buy or sell some cattle that day. They divorced when I was 6, and mostly I remember waiting for him to show up on the weekend for visits. IF he came, he was usually several hours late...he'd say he'd be there around 9 and wouldn't get there until 2. He'd bring us back having not fed us or anything because he was running errands and didn't want to stop for food and then we were running late and had to get home. I remember mom being FURIOUS when he brought us home starving at 10 p.m. once because even though we had asked several times to go eat, he just wanted to get this one more errand run and then after that he wasn't hungry and didn't want to stop and we were already supposed to be back at 9 so we were late. So we get home an hour late and mom had to fix dinner for us at 10 p.m. And visits mostly consisted of dad running errands and leaving us in the car. I was about 12 or 13, my brother 14, and dad had a friend who was in a halfway house after her release from prison. (He had semi sort of dated her for a while before, and never believed she did what she was convicted of) She needed change for the soda machine, and it was a sort of house arrest type place..they couldn't leave the premises. So dad went and got change from a gas station to bring to her, but he didn't want us going in, so he said he'd just be a few minutes and to stay in the truck, lock the doors and keep the windows up. It was 95 degrees that day and he was gone for over 2 hours. My brother was getting too warm and rolled the window down and I was so scared we were going to get in trouble when dad came out. My dad had quite a temper. I don't remember what happened, so it must not have been too bad, but who knows what would have happened if my brother hadn't broken the rules. When I was 3, my mom went to go do grocery shopping...the town was 40 miles from the ranch, so she was gone for hours. She asked dad if he was going to stay home or go do the chores because I was sick so she couldn't take me with her. He said he'd wait to go feed the cattle and such. She came home to a seemingly empty house. When he came home later with my brother and not me, she panicked...he had decided he couldn't wait, he had to do the chores, but I didn't want to go, so he left me, a 3 year old with the stomach flu, home alone. They had neighbors out looking for me on the buttes and everything. Mom found me a couple of hours later, curled up in bed completely under the covers, asleep. She never left us alone with dad again until they divorced and the judge ordered us to visit on weekends. But that's what I mean by inconvenience...it was...well, I am supposed to have the kids today, so I guess I'll go pick them up and they can stay in the truck while I run errands. Or, well gee, I really do need to go do chores, so I'll just leave her here because she doesn't want to go. He didn't WANT to spend time with us, but that's what the judge said, so he'd do it, but life would sure be easier if we weren't around. He really just did not relate at all to children. He thought a child was a spoiled brat because he asked his parents if he could go look at the dessert display in a restaurant. Children were supposed to be still and sit there while the adults were talking, and not interrupt with rude requests to get up. As an adult, as long as I avoided the topic of politics, I could get along with him very well, and I even grew to appreciate him and what his life had been like and WHY he was like that. His parents were deeply unhappy and he was an oops and they had planned to divorce when he came along and they stayed together for him. It made for a very poor example and a lot of resentment. So I GET it now, but as a child, I understood that really, he considered us an unwanted duty and he did bare minimum to comply with the court. As an adult, he grew to love me and we had a really good relationship once I moved over here. But as far as being an involved father, he wasn't winning any awards. I would have been very envious of your girls, always having you there for the important things and doing things with them.
This reminds of me back when hubs and I were dating. We went on a hike up in the NH mountains, and brought his dog, who was a 6 year old, husky mix. About halfway down the mountain, she stopped and laid down. So we rested a while, gave her more water (she drank more water than both of us during that hike, LOL . . .). Finally, all rested up we started back down--but she wouldn't budge! Hubs ended up carrying her most of the way down (we had to stop multiple times, as she weighed about 45 pounds).
Now I'm waiting for the allergy pill to kick in and the boys to leave!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Guess who's going to take a nap, seeing I got a whole 3 hours sleep.
