Taking kids with large age differences

[justamomof3]

We are going on our first trip to Disney World in a couple of weeks. I have a ton of questions - but my biggest worry is having an almost 12 year old boy, 5 year old girl and 2 year old girl and keeping them all happy. So many of the rides the oldest wants (scary or fast) are not for the younger ones. I hate to split up for a family trip, but it seems like the best option. He also reacts like dracula to sunlight if visiting a princess place or character meal is mentioned. I want him to enjoy it, it's his first trip here too and it's mainly for him, but the preteen demands are getting annoying.

We've also been trying to decide if going in the morning, going back for a nap and going back later is a good idea or just too much trouble. It didn't look like it would work well with Animal Kingdom, but the others, maybe? The two year still really needs a nap, and doesn't nap well in a stroller.


Thank you in advance for your thoughts.

 

[wdwmomof3]

Have you thought about letting him taking a friend? I have three children ages 7,10 & 15. We have taken a friend the past two times and it was a lot of fun. I know that there are some who don't like the idea of mixing friends with a family vacation but it was good for us.

On the other hand, there is always parent swap so that you wouldn't need to split up. He will probably enjoy most all of the rides so you would only need to do this on the few rides that the younger ones can't ride.

Going back to the room to rest is an excellent idea. We normally leave the parks around 2 or 3, depending if they want to watch the parade, and go get some rest & get ready for the night.

 

[swimmom]

Welcome!!! :wave:

Unfortunately with your age differences, you will have to do some splitting up, but there's nothing wrong with your 12 year old riding with the younger girls on some attractions. I know that preteens have to be cool, but there are plenty of them taking family vacations to WDW doing some things not on the top of their lists. Maybe you should sit down as a family and make "to do lists" so that everyone can express what they want from each park and all agree on some attractions.

Also you can do the baby swap on rides that the girls can't or don't want to do that you, your husband & your son wants to do.

 

[mouselvrmom]

We have a big age range, our oldest is 13 and our youngest is 4. We also have two more in between. We do end up splitting up a bit when we do the big rides. It can be a lot of fun for the parent that stays with the little one to do a little one on one bonding. Sometimes I will take the little one on a smaller ride. Or other times we will just find a nice spot to wait and notice those little things that make wdw so special.

 

[disney21]

WELCOME!:wave:

I personally dont think you will need to split up, unless it's truly necessary. In my family whoever doesnt want to ride a larger attraction usually just waits or shops/ snacks/ etc. with my smaller cousins. One of the best things about Disney is that a large majority of the rides/ attractions can be enjoyed by kids and adults of all ages. *once your son is there he'll see other kids his age taking pictures with characters or riding attractions like "its a small world" and his reactions might change... Hope you and your fam have a great first trip.. :wave:

 

[lisak09]

My girls are twelve and five. Last year we did most of the rides together, whenever it was something too scary for the five year old (& me!), we would just go get a drink or ice cream and wait for them to come back. When it came to things that the twelve year old thought she was too old for, we just explained that you got to do what you wanted, now its her turn. Most of the time it wasnt a problem though as she enjoyed them anyway, she just didnt want to admit that!

 

[svickersart]

Here's a few suggestions that might help. My Gf also has a 12 YO son, we have been to WDW once and DL many times with our AP's. There is no younger child but he still doesnt want to do some things, and he can be quite difficult about it if he wants. WDW we took grandma and she hadnt been in years so she was like the 4 YO on that trip, so give this a try.

If hes like all the other 12 YO's he wants to be considered a "big kid" and not a little kid. Take him aside and have a mom and man to man talk with him about your trip. Tell him how mature he is and that he isnt a little kid not like the little sisters are. Tell him you expect him to live up to that while on vacation. Explain to him that this is a family vacation and it is for everyone, not just him and that you and dad want to spend as much time together as a family because he is growing up so fast. (stroke his ego a bit) Explain to him that he is going to be asked to do some things at WDW that are not his favorite, some things that his younger sis's will probably enjoy more and you are really going to appreciate his cooperation. Make sure also he knows your also going to do the things he will find fun, he just needs to understand that he might have to show how mature he is by waiting and not doing those things right then and there and he might need to do a character dining or ride a couple of kiddie rides in between riding the big rides. I have found that while he wont admit it my Gf's son will ride and enjoy alot of different things. There are only a couple of things he will really refuse to do and we will often ask him what he wants to do, once he answers we will tell him "do this with us then we will go do that with you" a trade off sort of thing. Another option we have used is to find him a bench to sit on and tell him to stay there while we ride, dont move and we will come back for him after the ride. Often the thought of sitting there alone for half an hour or more is a motivator to get him to ride. If he gives you a hard time tell him he can stay in the room alone while all of you go enjoy the parks, no TV, no video games, just sit there, this can also be a motivator. Spanking can work also, and some kids do need it, but I have found a good talk works best. But get him ready for the trip by talking to him in advance, agreeing to cooperate then remind him when you arrive again how he is no longer a "little kid".
make sure also to praise him for how grown up he is acting, you might even suprise him with something he wants or wants to do for being cooperative.

You will need to split up and I really reccomend it anyway. Each of you take some time with each kid for some one on one time, especially the 12YO, take him to do some of the big rides, just dad and son and mom and son, let him choose what rides and maybe a fun snack. Your youngest may not remember but your 4 YO will so its important to have some one on one time with her also, let her pick what to do also. The afternoon naps are a great time for this, one of you can take the little one/ones to the room for a nap while the other spends a few hours with the older one then switch off. Let him know ahead of time your going to do this so when your all at the parks early he knows there will be "his time" later in the day. You really might be amazed by him when its just the two of you hittin the parks together. Also, while you may be planning things out like what parks to do on what day and where to eat, let him choose a place to eat for at least one meal. You might be suprised, my GF's son will always choose Goofy's kitchen which is a character dining. Make sure you explain to him that character dining is for everyone, not just little kids, he doesnt have to get his picture taken if he doesnt want to but you and dad will really appreciate it since he is so grown up now. And ask him who his favorite character is and tell him you really want him to meet the character and get a pic of him with them. Hes old enough to get more involved in the planning so do it.

Most of all, take your time and have fun. Dont give anyone the power to ruin your day or your trip, thats way to much power to give to anyone.

Steve

 

[stitchsMom]

We have done the friend thing on our trip to DL - and it was fun for my then pre-teen as the boys would go on the rides together that I didn't want to go on, so that did work well. Boys will suprise you too - on that same trip the boys suprised me with a princess dinner (they were assisted by a great CM!) and they amused me by having their pics taken with the princesses This year we have a group of 8 going to WDW, and that includes my 2 yr old DN and my 14yr old DS. We are going to use child swap for the rides the little one can't go on, and we planned some 1/2 days where the big kids of the group split up from the little kids/ non-adventurous bunch. I have even scheduled a part of a day for just me and my DS at DisneyQuest, so that he can have an experience without anything "holding him back" from his hearts desires.

I agree too with those that posted about having the "talk" with your DS. I have been prepping my DS since we booked our trip, as we are being joined by my parents and my sisters family for their first time. I find opportunities in our day to day conversations to convey how important it is that we consider everyone in our group when on our trip so that we ALL can enjoy it. I guess I am half hoping that I am passing on a subliminal sense of how to be respectfully considerate of others - I hope, while submerged in our society with the "it's all about thy self" attitude, that I can teach my son that is not how he should live his life (fingers crossed!!)

Regarding AK - we do this park in 2 half-days, as it gets unbearably hot during the day (somehow the heat seems worse at this park than any of them). We go the morning of EMH - so we can get in our safari ride - then head back to the resort around 11am. Then we visit the park again on the evening that there are night EMH to take in the rest of the park. So, really going back to the resort mid-day from this park is actually very reasonable. In fact that is how my son and I always tour - we break our plan up according to the EMH's and do each park in 2-half days. That way we get to see quite a bit and can escape the crowds and the heat mid-day.

 

[catne]

We had a similar age difference a few years ago, and it worked out really well...there are a few times you'll have to split up to get the most fun out of the day, but you will also be able to do a lot of things together (like most of the rides like Pirates, Haunted Mansion, Jungle Cruise, Spaceship Earth, Living with the Land, Mexico & Norway in Epcot, Movie Ride in the Studios, Etc. There are a lot of attractions with no age/height restrictions that all ages enjoy.)

First, yes to the question about going back to hotel for rest/swim & re-charge. It is sooo worth it, especially for the younger kids (and to keep the parents' frazzled level low:ROFLOL:if you start your day early--and that is also highly recommended. If you start late (like 10 or 11), you will spend the day in long lines. (be there at park opening, and have a plan! It helps immensely to maximise you & your kids' enjoyment. For example, when you go to Magic Kingdom right when the park opens, Dad & son should head for Space Mountain & Buzz Lightyear in Tomorrow Land immediately, while you & the girls head to Fantasyland to do Dumbo, Peter Pan & SnowWhite--if you all get those rides done in the first hour, you'll have done some of the most popular rides for those ages before the crazy-long lines form. Keep it up through the morning, & you'll have had lots of fun, and be ready for hotel break at lunch time. Then come back in the very late afternoon or early evening for more.

Second, the age difference can work to your advantage & his, some times, and can be used as a great bargaining chip to encourage more generous behavior on his part--use the little one's ticket & your ticket to get extra F
FastPasses to be used by the 12 year old & the adult riding with him...this can be used as a "bribe" to get him to be gracious when doing the princess thing with the sisters (the payoff for him is getting to do the thrill rides twice in a row, using their fast passes...but he has to be nice about some of their choices.) While he & the parent of choice are riding the headliner attractions, you & the girls can shop, or dad & the girls can get a special snack while waiting...or even more fun & cheaper, find the playground in that park. My kids loved the Disney version of playgrounds when they were little, way too much fun and not much standing in line for the little ones.

 

[GenerationX]

Here are my thoughts on your situation:
1. Plan ahead on where/when you'll be splitting up. It's pretty easy to find attractions in close proximity that appeal to your different age groups. Download maps of all the parks for this. Example: While the younger kids are playing in The Boneyard at AK, older son can ride Dinosaur with one parent.
2. Take the mid-day break. This is advisable for people of all ages.
3. Plan an EMH night for the 12 year old, while the younger kids are asleep.
4. Get a copy of the Unofficial Guide to WDW by Bob Sehlinger and Len Testa. Each attraction is rated by various age groups, and there's a section on "scariness factors". This will be very helpful for you. There are many attractions that everyone will enjoy, such as Festival of the Lion King, Kilimanjaro Safaris, Mickey's Philharmagic, and Soarin', to name a few.
5. Drag the oldest with you to the Character Meals for the sake of the younger kids, but don't force him to pose. Give him his own camera and have him take pictures of his sisters (or even you) with the characters. That may soften him up to the point that you can get some shots of him with the characters. I have three boys (8, 10, 12) so I know how their minds work!

Have fun! :wave: