Is your child scared of rides? Read this.

[Brioli]

I posted this as a reply in another thread (probably the wrong one since it dealt more with fear of shows then children being afraid of rides), but I wanted to give it, it's own thread.

I feel this may help some of you enjoy your vacations with your children much more, and also help your children enjoy their vacation much more as well.


Not to mention teaching your children a valuable lesson being that they 'can accomplish anything they set their minds to'. Most of the leaders in this world come from families who taught them this valuable lesson at a very young age. This will also help them trust in mom and dad so much (which is priceless once those teen years hit), and give them ultimate security within the family.


I've found with my children over the years, that when children are scared of certain things (rides, haunted houses, darkness, sleeping alone, etc..) they really don't want to be scared and it makes them feel bad about themselves inside. You know, like they can't do anything or can't do what others can do.

Some people may feel this is a bit harsh, but I always made my children go on rides while soothing them the whole way with reassurance, security, and love. Once they got through the ride, they were so proud of themselves that they are usually determined to go ride again just to show their bravery and how they weren't scared anymore. It gives them a feeling of success, strength, and pride which is very good for children and their future. :sohappy:

My children are now 10 and 6 and loved to ride everything! They are not afraid of anything and their self esteem is through the roof! My 6-year-old gets so upset when she is too small to ride (I'm talking more at like Six Flags and other theme parks). They always have a great time, and my husband and I have a great time riding everything with them.


and...if you have one of those children who literally has a screaming/crying meltdown, it will be very difficult for you, but you must make them. Once they get through it, and realize, "Hey mom or dad was right, I'm just fine and that wasn't so bad". Their trust in you and what you say will grow, and they won't be scared anymore. If you play into the meltdown, and say, "Ok honey, you don't have to go" you are reassuring your children they have a reason to be afraid and that is just not true.

It will be very difficult the first few times, but it should only take a couple of times and the meltdowns will stop. See your child will then "believe" you when you say, "There is nothing to be afraid of. These things can't and won't hurt you, etc...".


The same things goes with trying new foods for the picky eater. I always made my children try at least on bite, and if they didn't like it that's fine they didn't have to eat it.... but I've found they usually did like it and were glad I made them taste it. Now they don't even second guess new foods, and try everything. They know it's important to at least try it, and I never have to say a thing.

and one more thing..... It's important for us to teach our children about rational fears vs. irrational fears.

Rides, darkness, sleeping alone, and haunted houses are all irrational fears that inhibit our children from learning the difference in what they should and should not be afraid of.

Strangers, child molesters, cars, the street, etc... are rational fears that we need to coach our children on how to handle so that they don't get hurt or killed.

We need to help them learn what they really should and should not be afraid of.

Always teach this with encouragement, reassurance, and love and never with aggression or punishment.

Help your children conquer their fears early in life, and not only will they have a better time riding rides and on vacation, but they will be more well rounded and successful adults when they grow up.


This is an important thing for children and will impact their lives, positively, in ways you could never imagine.

(I am talking about children whose mental maturity level has reached the capability to understand complete sentences. It won't do any good for a child that can't understand your reassuring words. I found this was the case with my two children when they reached the age of around 2 1/2. Each child is different, but I wouldn't recommend starting before age 2. Also, I am not a licensed professional in any psychological field. I am self educated in this area because it fascinates me. However, I did find out from a family a friend (who is the lead adolescent psychologist at the Medical College of Georgia) that this is the proper, good, and right way to deal with children and their irrational fear of things.)

Hope this may help some of you. Lord knows all of you have helped me so much with planning my vacation. This forum is great!

Thank you.

 

[thrupaytonseyes]

I know you are only trying to be helpful and I debated responding but felt like I should.

I don't really agree with this and actually feel a little offended by it. I know you said each child is different and all but still. My son is 5 and doesn't like roller coasters and "scary" rides. It doesn't mean his self esteem is low. He is actually a very well rounded and loving kid. His self esteem is great. And just because right now he doesn't want to go on coasters doesn't mean he never will.

There is no way I would go into a haunted house at his age but a few years later was a different story.

Now with your way of thinking, what if you bring the child on kicking and screaming and crying and you telling them all of the great things about the ride and they go on the ride and come off of it even more scared then they were before? This happens a lot! Now the child has lost complete trust in you.

I do not like most roller coasters. I just do not like the feeling when I am on it. It doesn't mean I have irrational fear of them or that I am not well adjusted. My son doesn't like the feeling either.

I asked my 5 year old to try BTMR and Splash with me on 2 separate trips this past year. There is no way I would have brought him on if he was screaming and crying. He said he would try them. I reassured him, held his hand, etc. he came off of each ride saying he did not like them at all and never wanted to go on them again. Now I know that isn't true. He will want to try them again as he gets older. If I were to bring him on the ride crying he would not only dislike the ride but also dislike me for the time being.

I know his personality and know that he would not enjoy HM. So I don't go on that ride. No big deal. When he is a little older, we will go on it.

We have a wonderful time on our vacation without hitting every ride. My vacation isn't ruined because my son doesn't want to ride something.

Some irrational fears are age related and will not be there as they get older. The child that is afraid of the dark is rarely afraid as a teen and later.

There is a difference by fear of the unknown(a ride they have never been on) and a true fear. Your theory of what you should do works with fear of the unknown but not with true fear.

I am not trying to be rude or mean and hope i don't come off as so but I just had to add my 2 cents.

Note to self: Never bring my child to the lead adolescent psychologist at Medical College of Georgia!
Note to Brioli: The way of dealing with children's fears is very different than the way of dealing with adolescents fears.

 

[Monty]

Utter hogwash! That your particular approach worked for your children does not in any way make it likely to work for others'. IMO deliberately causing your child trauma is child abuse, plain and simple. This kind of argument that it happened to work for you [as far as you know, you haven't seen what kinds of therapy your children may need when they're adults as a result of your bullying] is similar to my parent's generation beating their children with belts or other weaponry because their parents did it to them and they turned out OK.

That anyone would recommend corporal or psychological punishment to parents in this day and age is abhorrent to me.

Each parent has the right to raise their children in the manner they see fit within the limits of the law. So, until such time as mental cruelty to children is defined in law as wrong, you can treat your children like that. But don't recommend it to me.

 

[disneyliv85]

Just wondering what prompted you to start this thread?

To each his own, all kids are different.

 

[brent2124]

Wow are you somehow related to Hitler or something? That is the most insane thing I have every read regarding kids and theme park rides. It kind of makes me think of 'cruel and unusual punishment'. As others said just because it worked for your kids in the short run it doesnt mean it wil work for other kids or that it hasnt scared your children emotionaly. I didnt ride roller coasters with inversions until i was in high school but i didnt have a low self esteem by any means. Children at a young age cant differeniate between rational and irrational fears or even comprehend what that means. Al kids have different likes and dislikes and change as they get older. Kids grow into sertain things and as they do they get over there fears. I personaly would hate something if I were forced by my parents to do something i was afraid of. All i can say for your kids is that seems to me to be child abusive ad hopefully they suffered no long term damage.

 

[maggiegrace1]

I agree with everyones posts..

This started in another thread about kids being scared on rides and her and I went back and forth because I would never make my daughter do something that scared her..

 

[GenerationX]

I take it the OP is serious about this, and this is not a joke.

The OP's technique may work, but it is completely inadvisable. For one, this is extremely rude to other park guests. A shrieking child will ruin the attraction for everyone else on it. Two, and most important since it trumps all else, this is a safety issue. A terrified child will not behave rationally and could do something to endanger themselves, other guests, or the CMs. Bad, bad idea.

As for forcing kids to eat food they don't want to eat, that is also a bad idea. Making new food available to kids is the way to go. Studies have shown that most people need to be exposed to a food 5-10 times before they're interested in trying it.

Save making kids do something for things that are actually important. Going on theme park rides is not one of them.

 

[TwoTigersMom]

Brioli, I forced my oldest son to go on ToT when he reached the appropriate height. He was a little nervous about it to begin with and become utterly terrified on the ride. A year later, we tried once more. I talked him into riding it with me and he did. Still scared. We were doing baby swap because I have a younger son too. So as soon as me and the oldest came off the ride, my husband took the oldest's hand from mine and took him on again. This time he kept telling my husband he didn't want to, but hubby talked him into trying it one more time. Both had drenched pants when they got off the ride :lookaroun My son said "I TOLD you it scared me!" So word to the wise, be careful forcing your children to do things... especially if they have a full bladder and you have no change of clothes with you.

 

[happymom52003]

I agree with everyones posts..

So do I.

There was only one time I forced my child on a ride. It was our first day of our January 2008 trip, and my youngest was a few months from turning three. It was her 4th Disney trip, and she had always done great on all of the rides. We had just been there about 8 months before, and she rode everything that she was tall enough for.

We got in line for POTC, and she started screaming. I could tell that she was really scared, so I took her out of line. I was baffled, because she had always done fine on that ride. Then I realized it was probably just her age....alot of kids go through stranger anxiety, etc. at age 2 1/2.

I was a little disappointed and concerned she would act like that on all of the rides, but I put her feelings first. The last thing I wanted to do was give her bad memories of our favorite place on earth! So I decided to head to Fantasy Land with her to ease her back into the rides.

We took her on the carousel, then on Small World. She loved both. Then we decided to try Peter Pan. When she saw the pirate ship ride vehicles, she started crying and said she did not want to go. However, in this instance I was about 99% sure she would love the ride. Peter Pan is one of her favorite movies, and she had been on this ride countless times on our previous trips and loved it.

So I forced her to go through the line, even though she was crying. I felt bad, but my instincts ended up being correct. She LOVED it, and begged to go on it again.

However, while I forced her to go on Peter Pan, I did not force her on the Haunted Mansion. She started screaming in the stretching room, and my husband took her out right away. I also would have never forced her on the pirate ride. But by the end of the trip she was going on it by her choice.

I would never force my children on a ride that they were scared of. The Peter Pan incident was unique.....I know my child, and I knew she would love it since she had been on it so many times before and she loves the movie so much. There was always the chance I could have been wrong.....and had I been, I would not have forced her on any more rides.

So even though I had one time when I forced my child on a ride, I completely disagree with the OP on this subject.

 

[mep517]

This is such an interesting debate. I agree with everyone and would like to assert to OP that there are varying degrees of ride fear. Encouraging a child to go on Snow White or Peter Pan is very different than forcing them on a roller coaster or haunted house.

I was the only person in my family who didn't like rollercoasters. My parents (who are very wonderful and loving) would always make me feel bad about my fear of heights. They made me go on occasion and, while I did briefly enjoy myself, the fear outweighed the excitement and I resented my parents for making me go (and for making me feel bad if I didn't).

We are taking our DDs to Disney in 3 weeks and have discussed the rides at length with our oldest (who's 3 1/2). We will not be taking her on HM, but are encouraging her to go on POTC, Snow White and Maelstrom. because I think she will enjoy it while she's there. But if she decides she doesn't want to, we will take her out and go on to the next. There's plenty to do at WDW, no point in ruining any portion of our trip with tears and screaming

 

[eagles]

i just wanted to comment on the rational vs irrational fear. i am a full grown adult and had a horrible event take place. as i was in the military at the time, i was required to see a shrink. well this particular shrink made my irrational fears unimportant and tried to tell me i shouldn't even have them. i did have both kinds of fear. but on the irrational issue, it just doesn't make a difference, this is a feeling that you have and you just can't turn it on and off because someone tells you oh that is irrational.
..i don't care what kind of fear it is, if my kids have it, then they have it, and it is real to them.

 

[pjulie75]

Hi everyone, I don't like these negative threads but wanted to express my view. I can't see a CM allowing a child on a ride having a TOTAL MELTDOWN, it isn't meant to be torture it is meant to be fun:goodnevil, what if the kid had a major panic attack! I understand we fear things and if we confront them we can overcome but I would never force my kids on a ride, it is too stressful for them, too stressful for me and I can imagine the other riders around me passing comment about putting a distressed child on a ride. I do try and steer them to try different things and encourge them in a postive manner but not force. My daughter who was 4 last year went on TOT and she was excited in the queue but I wee bit stunned during the ride. She is going to go on again this year (her choice) and says she loved it but the picture shows a nervous wee girl, her twin sisters absolutely didn't want on ride and wouldn't make her. I think it can heighten her fears and do the opposite.

 

[Erika]

i just wanted to comment on the rational vs irrational fear. i am a full grown adult and had a horrible event take place. as i was in the military at the time, i was required to see a shrink. well this particular shrink made my irrational fears unimportant and tried to tell me i shouldn't even have them. i did have both kinds of fear. but on the irrational issue, it just doesn't make a difference, this is a feeling that you have and you just can't turn it on and off because someone tells you oh that is irrational.
..i don't care what kind of fear it is, if my kids have it, then they have it, and it is real to them.

Well stated

 

[Pooh'sBuddy]

To each his own, but I want our kids to trust us.

We prepped our 4 1/2 year old to ride on Soarin'. We watched Samantha Brown's Disney Favorites show and he was excited to experience it. When we got there and watched the pre-flight video, the little word "fear" was mentioned. His bravery left him and we had to leave. I wasn't going to torture him just so I could ride it. I wasn't happy that I had to drop him off with the hubby and stand in line again, but I understood it was real to him.

He then surprised me with LOVING Stitch's Great Escape and Snow White's Scary Adventure. Both of our boys rode Haunted Mansion with us. It helped our 2 1/2 year old that I kept giggling during the whole attraction. He didn't want to ride Maelstrom. We didn't make him ride it, either. He didn't want to ride Living with the Land, but we made him do that.

 

[Brioli]

Utter hogwash! That your particular approach worked for your children does not in any way make it likely to work for others'. IMO deliberately causing your child trauma is child abuse, plain and simple. This kind of argument that it happened to work for you [as far as you know, you haven't seen what kinds of therapy your children may need when they're adults as a result of your bullying] is similar to my parent's generation beating their children with belts or other weaponry because their parents did it to them and they turned out OK.

That anyone would recommend corporal or psychological punishment to parents in this day and age is abhorrent to me.

Each parent has the right to raise their children in the manner they see fit within the limits of the law. So, until such time as mental cruelty to children is defined in law as wrong, you can treat your children like that. But don't recommend it to me.

I truly don't appreciate this response. I never once implied that you should EVER under ANY CIRCUMSTANCES bully any child into anything. It is a systematic approach always done with love and reassurance. My children are fantastic and very well rounded thank you.

If my children were traumatized by this I would know it by now. If anything, they are living life to it's fullest and very happy. To me it sounds like many of you are spoiling your children, which is one of the biggest problems with Americans. You act like I said you should force your kids to go into a WAR zone or something. Yea...like take your kids to Iraq...

Geez....It about irrational fears...Do you want your children to grow up afraid?

And deep inside...those of you who are afraid of things that others aren't.....Do you really enjoy being that way? Are you saying that you don't get mad at yourself for being afraid?

Whether you realize it or not, it affects your self confidence!

OH and FYI....What I said above has nothing to do with Corporal punishment, and I NEVER ONCE stated anything that had to do with corporal punishment.

NOTE TO SELF: "Do not give any advice on this message board"

 

[Brioli]

Brioli, I forced my oldest son to go on ToT when he reached the appropriate height. He was a little nervous about it to begin with and become utterly terrified on the ride. A year later, we tried once more. I talked him into riding it with me and he did. Still scared. We were doing baby swap because I have a younger son too. So as soon as me and the oldest came off the ride, my husband took the oldest's hand from mine and took him on again. This time he kept telling my husband he didn't want to, but hubby talked him into trying it one more time. Both had drenched pants when they got off the ride :lookaroun My son said "I TOLD you it scared me!" So word to the wise, be careful forcing your children to do things... especially if they have a full bladder and you have no change of clothes with you.

That's different...If you try it once and they are still upset and scared then don't do it again for awhile. In most cases this is not the case.

I suppose I should have made it clear that each time should be once for each situation. I mean if afterwards they are upset then don't do it again until they are ready...



Bottom line is you have to do what's best for your child. It worked great with mine, and I never ever used aggression, threats, or punishment.

To the person that said an adolescent Psychologist is different...No, they are not. He is a child and adolescent psychologist and deals with children all the way up to age 16. He didn't become the lead psychologist for no reason people! He is good at what he does. Just because it doesn't make sense to some of you doesn't mean it's not true. If someone tried to teach you how to build a microchip, would you understand them? Maybe some of you would, but most of you wouldn't. Does that mean that what the person is trying to teach you isn't true or fact? No it doesn't.

Sometimes many of the most important things are things we cannot understand. That does not make them not so.

 

[maggiegrace1]

I truly don't appreciate this response. I never once implied that you should EVER under ANY CIRCUMSTANCES bully any child into anything. It is a systematic approach always done with love and reassurance. My children are fantastic and very well rounded thank you.

If my children were traumatized by this I would know it by now. If anything, they are living life to it's fullest and very happy. To me it sounds like many of you are spoiling your children, which is one of the biggest problems with Americans. You act like I said you should force your kids to go into a WAR zone or something. Yea...like take your kids to Iraq...

Geez....It about irrational fears...Do you want your children to grow up afraid?

And deep inside...those of you who are afraid of things that others aren't.....Do you really enjoy being that way? Are you saying that you don't get mad at yourself for being afraid?

Whether you realize it or not, it affects your self confidence!

OH and FYI....What I said above has nothing to do with Corporal punishment, and I NEVER ONCE stated anything that had to do with corporal punishment.

NOTE TO SELF: "Do not give any advice on this message board"

The thing is that I think most here agree on is that forcing a child to do something that they do not want to do because they say they are scared is like punishing them.

I would feel the same way if someone forced me to go into a bird house where birds are flying all around me..it would be like living in hell for me.

You may think that these fears they have are not justified but in their minds it is something that is truly scary to them and in my opinion making them do something that scares them will cause more harm for them in the future and make them less trusting of me.

As for me being scared of birds..Why would I get mad at myself for being scared of birds?

I choose not to go around them and that is my choice because they SCARE me...just like horroe movies SCARE me...they truly SCARE me and so I choose not to watch them.

My life is not bad because I have these fears, I do not feel like I have an unfulfilled life because of these fears.

As for not giving advice on this board anymore, this is a DISCUSSION board and you posted what you felt was advice for us and others came back with their opinion on it...if you can not handle our opinions then maybe you should not post your advice..it works both ways..:shrug:

 

[Brioli]

Wow are you somehow related to Hitler or something? That is the most insane thing I have every read regarding kids and theme park rides. It kind of makes me think of 'cruel and unusual punishment'. As others said just because it worked for your kids in the short run it doesnt mean it wil work for other kids or that it hasnt scared your children emotionaly. I didnt ride roller coasters with inversions until i was in high school but i didnt have a low self esteem by any means. Children at a young age cant differeniate between rational and irrational fears or even comprehend what that means. Al kids have different likes and dislikes and change as they get older. Kids grow into sertain things and as they do they get over there fears. I personaly would hate something if I were forced by my parents to do something i was afraid of. All i can say for your kids is that seems to me to be child abusive ad hopefully they suffered no long term damage.

I'm sorry, I was assuming that each of you would know that I was talking about "age appropriate" rides. You can't even RIDE a roller coaster as a small child due to height restrictions it's not safe.

 

[Hakunamatata]

NOTE TO SELF: "Do not give any advice on this message board"

You can give all the advice you want, just dont expect people to take it, embrace it, love it, or not respond if they dont agree.

I personally have mixed feelings about this topic. Our little girl was never affraid of POTC, HM, etc. She has been going since she was two. She is now almost 11. Last year she became terrified of POTC and HM for some unknown reason. Did we drag her on kicking and screaming, no. Did we strongly encourage her to go on, absolutely. After sitting her down and telling her that in life, if you let things that scare you keep you from doing something, you might actually miss out on some really fun stuff. By the end of the trip, she was OK with both and proud that she had overcome her fear. She still brags that she is not affraid of them.

 

[Brioli]

So do I.

There was only one time I forced my child on a ride. It was our first day of our January 2008 trip, and my youngest was a few months from turning three. It was her 4th Disney trip, and she had always done great on all of the rides. We had just been there about 8 months before, and she rode everything that she was tall enough for.

We got in line for POTC, and she started screaming. I could tell that she was really scared, so I took her out of line. I was baffled, because she had always done fine on that ride. Then I realized it was probably just her age....alot of kids go through stranger anxiety, etc. at age 2 1/2.

I was a little disappointed and concerned she would act like that on all of the rides, but I put her feelings first. The last thing I wanted to do was give her bad memories of our favorite place on earth! So I decided to head to Fantasy Land with her to ease her back into the rides.

We took her on the carousel, then on Small World. She loved both. Then we decided to try Peter Pan. When she saw the pirate ship ride vehicles, she started crying and said she did not want to go. However, in this instance I was about 99% sure she would love the ride. Peter Pan is one of her favorite movies, and she had been on this ride countless times on our previous trips and loved it.

So I forced her to go through the line, even though she was crying. I felt bad, but my instincts ended up being correct. She LOVED it, and begged to go on it again.

However, while I forced her to go on Peter Pan, I did not force her on the Haunted Mansion. She started screaming in the stretching room, and my husband took her out right away. I also would have never forced her on the pirate ride. But by the end of the trip she was going on it by her choice.

I would never force my children on a ride that they were scared of. The Peter Pan incident was unique.....I know my child, and I knew she would love it since she had been on it so many times before and she loves the movie so much. There was always the chance I could have been wrong.....and had I been, I would not have forced her on any more rides.

So even though I had one time when I forced my child on a ride, I completely disagree with the OP on this subject.

This makes perfect sense. That is why I said "each child is unique". You do not want to force a child on something...THAT YOU KNOW...YOUR CHILD...WILL NEVER LIKE RIGHT NOW PERIOD.

I was referring to things that you know that they will like I never made my son go into a haunted house until he was ready...because I knew he would hate it period. Now, Roller Coasters were a different story (and he was 8 for his first time). I knew he would love them because he was already a dare devil (and he did).

I suppose I should have made my post a little more clear. I was truly generalizing the post thinking about sleeping alone at night for example and other fears. I am a terrible typer, so I didn't make some of this clear.