I have talked to CMs both in Guest Relations and Attractions. The program is uneven and there are still a lot of people trying to abuse it.
The way it is supposed to work, is that you go to City Hall and discuss what you need for your child and your party to access the attractions equally with other visitors. DCA attraction queues were designed and built to be fully accessible for guests with mobility impairments. Generally at DCA, a DAS card will only offer special access for guests with cognitive disabilities who have trouble with crowds and/or waiting. At DL Park, there is special accomodation at attractions with accessibility limitations for guests with visible assistive devices, including crutches, prostheses, canes, walkers, wheelchairs, etc. without needing a DAS card. However, you do need to visit city hall if you are using a "stroller as wheelchair" because you will need an identifying strip like an airport luggage tag. BTW, this includes if Grandma is using the stroller as a walker!
If you ask for a specific feature on your DAS card, the CM will probably ask you how this accommodation will help you. Most of the CMs are trying to do a good job. At some older attractions, there is limited space for a long "wheelchair line" out the backdoor (Pirates is hell on earth), so they issue return times that are equal to the wait you would have in the attraction queue. If you have a DAS card, you get your return time at one of the central kiosks around the park. If you have an assistive device and the attraction is issuing return times, you get your admission tickets scanned at the attraction and receive a return time.
NOTE: Do NOT assume that you just go in the exit of any attraction. Always ask at the attraction entrance (this position is called the "Greeter") for how to proceed, even if you visited last month or even last week. If your child has cognitive disabilities, use your resources of having other adults get your return times outside of your son's hearing or keeping him occupied or distracted. Also, make use of your Fastpasses. This is a big plus, in conjunction with return times. The two systems are completely separate.
I have both visible and hidden disabilities and have visited DL and WDW with friends and family with various disabilities. I have experienced both the good and bad of the GAC and DAS programs, as well as abuse by people trying to game the system and uneven application by CMs. My best advice is to proceed with minimal expectations and maximum flexibility. Be prepared to offer distractions and alternatives if something doesn't go as easily or smoothly as you would like.
Personally, I think a lot of people's frustration comes from unrealistic expectations as much as CM misconduct. There are a lot of people who believe that the DAS card is a "Willy Wonka Golden Ticket" that will get them at the front of any line, and don't get me started on the fakers. Ideally, you will be able to access all the attractions you want to ride with little or no inconvenience. Think positive and approach CMs with the assumption that they are there to help you until and unless they prove to the contrary. Nothing gets a CMs hackles up faster than guests with a chip on their shoulder.
I hope you and your family have a memorable visit!
