What Disney characters will never say

[mharrington]

I think we should all have an idea of how this game should be played, but let's try to keep things clean, if you know what I mean, capisce? You can think of anything you'd never expect Disney characters to say, but no usage of swears at any time. Anyway, I'll begin this thread by showing you a few examples of what Disney characters would never say...

ALICE: I want nothing more than to follow the instructions of mad people.

---

PETER PAN: (seeing Hook hanging from a cliff from his hook in Skull Rock) Well, well, a codfish on a hook. Or should I say, "Hook, line and sinker".
CAPTAIN HOOK: I'll get you for that bad pun, Pan! Smee, blast him for that bad pun!

---

RABBIT: (Winnie the Pooh is stuck in Rabbit's door) That's a bad addiction, Pooh. From now on, it's the South Beach Diet for you.
WINNIE THE POOH: But Rabbit, it's a curse, I tell ya! But the honey is rather tasty.

There you go; have fun! But no usage of foul language at any time.

 

[Dragonrider1227]

ALL DISNEY CHARACTERS: "Let's go to Universal Studios!!!" :lol:

 

[DTM93]

Darn, I just thought of that too, haha.

 

[unkadug]

Boy, it's hot in here.

 

[dandaman]

"You think God's in charge here?! I'M IN CHARGE HERE! I've been in charge since the 1950's in case ya haven't noticed, ho-ho!"

--MM

 

[mharrington]

"You think God's in charge here?! I'M IN CHARGE HERE! I've been in charge since the 1950's in case ya haven't noticed, ho-ho!"

--MM

Funny, that sounds like how John Lennon claimed that The Beatles were bigger than Jesus, which caused a bit of an uproar. Also...

GEPPETTO: Pinocchio! Where have you been?! You're in for the spanking of a lifetime, young man!

 

[wdwfan100]

Grumpy: Snow White for get about your prince and grab me a brew. It was a hot day in the mine.

Snow White: Get you own *&%$ beer


Sorry, I may have gone over the top

 

[unkadug]

Cinderella: Forget about Prince Charming...I'm going to Mannequins Thursday with Pocohontas.

 

[dandaman]

Jiminy: Pinocchio, wait! You can't follow Honest John to Pleasure Island!

Pinocchio: You mean it's an immoral place filled with false promise?

Jiminy: No, I mean it's closed. That's just stupid what you said.

 

[Dragonrider1227]

jiminy: Pinocchio, wait! You can't follow honest john to pleasure island!

Pinocchio: You mean it's an immoral place filled with false promise?

Jiminy: No, i mean it's closed. That's just stupid what you said.

:ROFLOL:
Mickey: I love you Daisy! Marry me!!!

 

[mharrington]

:ROFLOL:
Mickey: I love you Daisy! Marry me!!!

DONALD: I love you, Minnie! Will you marry me?!?

 

[rmforney]

I figured I’d be long dead in the ground before I see this one:

Huey, Dewey, and Louis do something to upset Donald. We find that his usual tirade actually translates into:
“Now boys, I appreciate your creativity, but let’s see if we can work out any disagreement in a calm, focused, non-violent(and unfunny) way…”

 

[SWatsi]

DONALD: I love you, Minnie! Will you marry me?!?

GOOFY: I love you Pluto! Marry Me!

 

[mharrington]

MARY POPPINS: (using a tape measurer) As I expected: "Mary Poppins, practically perfect in every way."
JANE: (taking the tape) That's not what it says, it says "Mary Poppins, wanted for crimes against the crown..."
MARY: (snatching the tape back and stomping on Jane's foot) Learn to keep your eyes and hands to yourself, you ruddy brat!
MICHAEL: Hey, don't talk to my sister like that!
(Mary pulls a gun on them)
MARY: So you wanna do things the hard way, huh? Well, if you two don't shut your ruddy mouths, you will both get your bloomin' brains blown out, see?!
(Jane breaks down crying)
MARY: I said, shut yer bloomin' mouth!
(She pistol-whips Jane)
JANE: Father, help!
(Downstairs, Mr. Banks hears the ruckus)
MR. BANKS: Sounds like that woman is whipping those children into shape already. I love her!
(Back upstairs, Jane calms down)
MARY: That's better, we're all calm now. (she instantly changes back to her usual preppy self) Now children, let's play tidy up the nursery. And if you do a good job I'll bring you some licorice.
MICHAEL: But I don't like licorice.
MARY: (upset again) YOU'LL LEARN TO LIKE WHAT I BLOOMIN' DARN WELL TELL YOU TO LIKE!!!

 

[dandaman]

Close the thread, he wins.

 

[mharrington]

POCAHONTAS: (after talking to Grandmother Willow) Talking to a tree? Okay, I've officially lost my mind!

---

From the New Year's Day, 2006, issue of "Mother Goose and Grimm":

DISNEY'S DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES

BELLE: My husband is an animal.
CINDERELLA: Mine still drives a pumpkin.
SNOW WHITE: My husband leaves me at home with 7 little ones.
ARIEL: Mine wants me to wear fishnet stockings.
AURORA: I just pretend I'm asleep.

 

[mharrington]

COACHMAN (from "Pinocchio"): Give a bad boy enough rope and he'll soon make a Democrat of himself!

 

[Random Vids Inc]

RAFIKI: "I thought about dropping him"

 

[talfonso]

ALL DISNEY CHARACTERS: "Let's go to Universal Studios!!!" :lol:

Hahahahahahaha - how about this:

Tigger (recalling that unfortunate incident in January 2007, in disgust): YUCK! Tiggers don't like kickboxing!

 

[piratetreasure]

MARY POPPINS: (using a tape measurer) As I expected: "Mary Poppins, practically perfect in every way."
JANE: (taking the tape) That's not what it says, it says "Mary Poppins, wanted for crimes against the crown..."
MARY: (snatching the tape back and stomping on Jane's foot) Learn to keep your eyes and hands to yourself, you ruddy brat!
MICHAEL: Hey, don't talk to my sister like that!
(Mary pulls a gun on them)
MARY: So you wanna do things the hard way, huh? Well, if you two don't shut your ruddy mouths, you will both get your bloomin' brains blown out, see?!
(Jane breaks down crying)
MARY: I said, shut yer bloomin' mouth!
(She pistol-whips Jane)
JANE: Father, help!
(Downstairs, Mr. Banks hears the ruckus)
MR. BANKS: Sounds like that woman is whipping those children into shape already. I love her!
(Back upstairs, Jane calms down)
MARY: That's better, we're all calm now. (she instantly changes back to her usual preppy self) Now children, let's play tidy up the nursery. And if you do a good job I'll bring you some licorice.
MICHAEL: But I don't like licorice.
MARY: (upset again) YOU'LL LEARN TO LIKE WHAT I BLOOMIN' DARN WELL TELL YOU TO LIKE!!!

I haven't laughed this hard in a while! Good job!!