Trip Report The Trip That Nearly Wasn't!

Prelude to a Dis

Picture it: November, 2013. Thor: The Dark World ruled the box office. We lamented how we'll never be royals. And a certain someone typing this trip report became debt-free for the first time. A freelance job paid very handsomely; enough to get out of debt, rejuvenate my savings account, AND plan a little trip to the happiest place on Earth.

The boyfriend (BF) had never been. This needed to be corrected. I had taken him to Disneyland the year before, nervous that he'd find the whole thing hokey, but when we both burst into tears when it snowed on Main Street after Believe...In Holiday Magic, I knew I had a believer. We had also been talking a lot with our Disney Friend (DF), who knows just about everything there is to know about the parks. He was thinking about going during a break from work at the beginning of January. Once that check was cashed, we pulled the trigger! A three-man jaunt to WDW January 6-11!

Wow. We were really going. I had only been twice in my life, once for a week in '91 with my family, and once for five days in '98 for my senior spring break trip. Both times offsite, both times incredible. But this was the real deal, Holyfield. DF suggested we stay at Port Orleans Riverside, and, because I hadn't quite yet fallen all the way down the Disney rabbit hole, I had never heard of it but deferred to his expertise. I've heard one or two or twelve billion complaints on these boards about MDE, but boy, oh boy did we have fun planning FP+ and dining! Things had really changed in 15 years (OMGmysenioryearwas15yearsagowhatamIdoingwithmylife), and I was insanely excited to be in the driver's seat of planning the trip.

Flash forward to January 5th, the night before the trip. DF spent the night at our place, because we live crazy-close to the airport. I went to bed early, giddy as a 1st grader. In just a few hours, we'd get up at the BC of dawn, hop in a car, and presto! A magical flying machine would take us to Neverland and everything would be great. Easy peasy, right? Wrongzo.

"Our flight has been canceled. The next available flight is Wednesday night."

Despite clear, mild weather, that was the rude awakening the BF laid on me at about 1 in the morning. 1 in the morning on MONDAY. Uh, pretty sure a Wednesday night flight would involve missing three days of unspeakable glee. Unacceptable, obvs. Have any of you ever been on the phone with JetBlue for two and a half hours in the middle of the night, terrified that your hopes and dreams of vacation bliss will be dashed? It's awesome. Highly recommended. Our first attempt was to rebook our original flight, from LGA to MCO. Nope. Wednesday night was the first available. Uh...should we rent a car and drive to Philly and fly from there? No flights. Boston? No flights. Washington? Nada. As I was on the phone with him, I kept reloading JetBlue.com. Flights kept popping up that the dude on the phone was missing!

"Hey! There's now a flight late tonight out of LaGuardia to Orlando. Do you see it?"

He found it and rebooked my BF on it. If DF and I had to go Wednesday, at least BF would be there for most of the planned trip. DF suddenly had a brainstorm: what about flights to other cities in Florida? Duh. Why hadn't we thought of that? I pulled up a map of Florida, product of the public school system that I am. Ooh! Tampa's close! Are there any flights to Tampa?

Whoa! There's a flight out of JFK to Tampa only an our after our original flight! With the car rental, we'd be missing 2-3 hours of the magic, tops! I told the dude (who never found us a flight; I literally would tell him what flights were available online and he'd book us on them) to book us.

"Passenger BF...is booked."

Hurray!

"Passenger DF...is booked."

Yessir! We're on our way!

"I was not able to rebook you. The seat is no longer available."

AM I IN A MOVIE?!? My boyfriend and friend are leaving for a week of delight, and I'm forced to meet them on Wednesday?!? Have I gone insane?

"Is there anything else I can do for you, sir?"
"I am not hanging up with you until I'm also on this flight to Tampa. And that's all there is to it."

I reloaded the page over and over again, like a doctor on a TV show yelling "CLEAR!", trying futilely to revive a long-dead patient. Hope was fading. Fast. Then, suddenly:

"A SEAT JUST OPENED UP. BOOK IT NOW, DUDE. BOOK IT NOW."
"Stand by...stand by...you are booked, sir."

We cheered with as much energy as three exhausted, stressed out dudes at 3:30 in the morning could. We got a couple hours of sleep, then popped back up, ready to pop over to JFK for smooth sailing to Tamp-town. Wrongzo againzo.

It was pouring freezing rain with a force that would make Noah go "Uh...yikes." The driver could barely see on the way to the airport. Bumper-to-bumper traffic. We were running out of time. At JFK, we stepped into the most chaotic state I've ever seen an airport in. People screaming, pushing, no discernible lines...it was like five minutes from grass skirts, body paint, and human sacrifice. Thank Walt that DF insisted we get Even More Speed when we rebooked; if we hadn't, we would've missed the flight.

Smooth flight. Nice landing. Picked up the rental and headed to Orlando; that is, after trusty navigators BF and DF spent the first few minutes of the drive figuring out how to play their iPods in the car. Um, y'know what, guys? I'd rather have the slightest clue where I'm going than be hearing the perfect Depeche Mode song right now. Cool? Cool. We stopped for a bite at Arby's because we don't have any Arby's in NYC and I love Arby's and I'm a gross monster, and as we stuffed our grateful faces with beeves and cheddars, we found out that JetBlue canceled all remaining flights out of NYC for the next two days. If we hadn't acted as fast as we did when our flight was canceled, we wouldn't have gotten to Florida.

DF turned on the Disney jams as we neared that familiar stretch of road. It was in our sights. It was really happening. Walt Disney World.

Next: Day One, Day Won
 

stevehousse

Well-Known Member
Prelude to a Dis

Picture it: November, 2013. Thor: The Dark World ruled the box office. We lamented how we'll never be royals. And a certain someone typing this trip report became debt-free for the first time. A freelance job paid very handsomely; enough to get out of debt, rejuvenate my savings account, AND plan a little trip to the happiest place on Earth.

The boyfriend (BF) had never been. This needed to be corrected. I had taken him to Disneyland the year before, nervous that he'd find the whole thing hokey, but when we both burst into tears when it snowed on Main Street after Believe...In Holiday Magic, I knew I had a believer. We had also been talking a lot with our Disney Friend (DF), who knows just about everything there is to know about the parks. He was thinking about going during a break from work at the beginning of January. Once that check was cashed, we pulled the trigger! A three-man jaunt to WDW January 6-11!

Wow. We were really going. I had only been twice in my life, once for a week in '91 with my family, and once for five days in '98 for my senior spring break trip. Both times offsite, both times incredible. But this was the real deal, Holyfield. DF suggested we stay at Port Orleans Riverside, and, because I hadn't quite yet fallen all the way down the Disney rabbit hole, I had never heard of it but deferred to his expertise. I've heard one or two or twelve billion complaints on these boards about MDE, but boy, oh boy did we have fun planning FP+ and dining! Things had really changed in 15 years (OMGmysenioryearwas15yearsagowhatamIdoingwithmylife), and I was insanely excited to be in the driver's seat of planning the trip.

Flash forward to January 5th, the night before the trip. DF spent the night at our place, because we live crazy-close to the airport. I went to bed early, giddy as a 1st grader. In just a few hours, we'd get up at the BC of dawn, hop in a car, and presto! A magical flying machine would take us to Neverland and everything would be great. Easy peasy, right? Wrongzo.

"Our flight has been canceled. The next available flight is Wednesday night."

Despite clear, mild weather, that was the rude awakening the BF laid on me at about 1 in the morning. 1 in the morning on MONDAY. Uh, pretty sure a Wednesday night flight would involve missing three days of unspeakable glee. Unacceptable, obvs. Have any of you ever been on the phone with JetBlue for two and a half hours in the middle of the night, terrified that your hopes and dreams of vacation bliss will be dashed? It's awesome. Highly recommended. Our first attempt was to rebook our original flight, from LGA to MCO. Nope. Wednesday night was the first available. Uh...should we rent a car and drive to Philly and fly from there? No flights. Boston? No flights. Washington? Nada. As I was on the phone with him, I kept reloading JetBlue.com. Flights kept popping up that the dude on the phone was missing!

"Hey! There's now a flight late tonight out of LaGuardia to Orlando. Do you see it?"

He found it and rebooked my BF on it. If DF and I had to go Wednesday, at least BF would be there for most of the planned trip. DF suddenly had a brainstorm: what about flights to other cities in Florida? Duh. Why hadn't we thought of that? I pulled up a map of Florida, product of the public school system that I am. Ooh! Tampa's close! Are there any flights to Tampa?

Whoa! There's a flight out of JFK to Tampa only an our after our original flight! With the car rental, we'd be missing 2-3 hours of the magic, tops! I told the dude (who never found us a flight; I literally would tell him what flights were available online and he'd book us on them) to book us.

"Passenger BF...is booked."

Hurray!

"Passenger DF...is booked."

Yessir! We're on our way!

"I was not able to rebook you. The seat is no longer available."

AM I IN A MOVIE?!? My boyfriend and friend are leaving for a week of delight, and I'm forced to meet them on Wednesday?!? Have I gone insane?

"Is there anything else I can do for you, sir?"
"I am not hanging up with you until I'm also on this flight to Tampa. And that's all there is to it."

I reloaded the page over and over again, like a doctor on a TV show yelling "CLEAR!", trying futilely to revive a long-dead patient. Hope was fading. Fast. Then, suddenly:

"A SEAT JUST OPENED UP. BOOK IT NOW, DUDE. BOOK IT NOW."
"Stand by...stand by...you are booked, sir."

We cheered with as much energy as three exhausted, stressed out dudes at 3:30 in the morning could. We got a couple hours of sleep, then popped back up, ready to pop over to JFK for smooth sailing to Tamp-town. Wrongzo againzo.

It was pouring freezing rain with a force that would make Noah go "Uh...yikes." The driver could barely see on the way to the airport. Bumper-to-bumper traffic. We were running out of time. At JFK, we stepped into the most chaotic state I've ever seen an airport in. People screaming, pushing, no discernible lines...it was like five minutes from grass skirts, body paint, and human sacrifice. Thank Walt that DF insisted we get Even More Speed when we rebooked; if we hadn't, we would've missed the flight.

Smooth flight. Nice landing. Picked up the rental and headed to Orlando; that is, after trusty navigators BF and DF spent the first few minutes of the drive figuring out how to play their iPods in the car. Um, y'know what, guys? I'd rather have the slightest clue where I'm going than be hearing the perfect Depeche Mode song right now. Cool? Cool. We stopped for a bite at Arby's because we don't have any Arby's in NYC and I love Arby's and I'm a gross monster, and as we stuffed our grateful faces with beeves and cheddars, we found out that JetBlue canceled all remaining flights out of NYC for the next two days. If we hadn't acted as fast as we did when our flight was canceled, we wouldn't have gotten to Florida.

DF turned on the Disney jams as we neared that familiar stretch of road. It was in our sights. It was really happening. Walt Disney World.

Next: Day One, Day Won
Can't wait to hear more dude! What a crazy start to ur trip!
 

AliceJaina

Member
Yikes! What a start. Back in 2011 Jet Blue had to cancel our flight after being in the airport all morning. We had to go home and wait until the next morning. Not fun explaining that to my 3 yo. Can't wait to read more of your report.
 

greebomusic

Well-Known Member
OK.... I'm ready now.. continue please?
Popcorn-Stephen-Colbert_zps93ff899d.gif
 

UnhealthilyObsessed

Well-Known Member
Original Poster
Day One: Day Won

We parked the rental car right in front of the lobby of Port Orleans Riverside. I was doing a medium-good job of keeping it together as I took out my luggage, once meant for the Magical Express until seven circles of hell broke loose. We trudged wearily through the front door.

And then I just full-on lost it.

I think it was a combination of exhaustion, excitement, and being completely blown away by how gorgeous the POR lobby was, but I could not keep the tears in my eyes. It's like I was watching Mr. Holland's Opus, Old Yeller, and The Fault In Our Stars all at once. Of course, I planned the trip, so Sniffles McGee checked in with a CM, pretending his face wasn't the very, very moistest.

We drove to our room (a new experience; a hotel so big you can drive from one part of it to another without it feeling frivolous) and giddily unlocked the door with our sweet Magic Bands. That's right; I called 'em sweet. I love Magic Bands, and I don't care who knows it. Anyway, this is what we were greeted with:

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Oh! Did I mention that when we booked the trip, there were no standard rooms available, so three adult males got themselves a princess pad?!? Because we totally did. We read our lovely welcome letter from Princess Tiana, turned on the fiber optic firework bayou bedposts, and generally had a royal good time. After a quick perusal of Disney details and a much-needed costume change, it was time to hit the parks. DF had gone ahead and made us reservations at Crystal Palace for dinner, so MK it was.

When we got off the bus, a Monorail streaked by overhead as we took in the garden Mickey out front. More moisture appeared on my face, and it wasn't just because it was lightly misting outside. Hello, Main Street USA! Ooh! It's Cinderella's Castle! Hello, gorgeous. BF definitely took note of the considerable difference between it and Sleeping Beauty's castle (or, as my best friend calls it, "that peach, low castle") as the three of us decided on a plan of attack: Pirates of the Caribbean.

I keep reading about how DL's Pirates is superior to WDW's because it's longer, you pass Blue Bayou, etc. Poppycock. WDW's Pirates may be shorter, but it's perfectly paced. Passing the waterfall projection, that short-but-fulfilling drop, and suddenly you're in the pirate ship cannon scene? It's unbeatable. I remember being 11 and riding it for the first time with my dad. When we got to that huge pirate ship scene, he just kept saying "Wow" over and over. Still makes me feel that way, Jack Sparrows notwithstanding. Wowie-wow-wow-wow.

Then it was time to meet up with DF's friends, who seemed even more encyclopedic with Disney knowledge than DF. At the time, I was like, "Man, these people sure are into Disney..." And now I'm on this message board writing a trip report with two months until my next WDW trip. WHAT HAVE I BECOME?!? We got our Enchanted Tiki Bird and Jungle Cruise on before parting ways and taking a sweet climb up the Swiss Family Robinson tree, which I was pleased to see had been left un-Tarzanified. It was getting dark, and it was amazing to take in the illuminated mountains and castle for the first time.

Long too line for Dole Whips. Harumph. Corn dogs would have to do.

We made our way to the Haunted Mansion, which, to be honest, I was nervous about. Don't get me wrong: I love the Haunted Mansion. I have even before I rode it, with my mom promising me I'd be riding in a car with ghosts. And then it happened! So I'm a big, big fan. The BF was a different story. His first and only exposure to HM was Thanksgiving week 2011 in Disneyland, where Jack Skellington reigns supreme. I was charmed enough by it, but he was. Not. A. Fan. So I had all but written it off as the ride started; "Well, hopefully he'll like the next ride." But as we passed the dancing ghosts in the dining hall, I heard "Wow." Man, I love hearing that "Wow!" BF was totally knocked out by HM. Then, it was my turn to be knocked out. Remember, it had been 15 years since I had last ridden it at WDW. So when the ghost in our car RIPPED MY HEAD OFF MY BODY AND PUT IT ON MY BF'S HEAD, I BEGAN SPEAKING IN ALL CAPS. Coolest thing I've ever seen.

Celebrate the Magic...wow. Just another example of Disney combining jaw-dropping technology with sentiment and heart. The 1-2 punch of Celebrate and Wishes is like chopping an onion. By this point, I had given up on wiping away my tears and just let those sweet salty babies drop.

But the crying was not yet over, because it was time for an ADR at Crystal Palace! Now, I only sort of knew what I was getting into. That it was a character buffet, yadda yadda yadda, endless sense of awe and childlike wonder, etc. etc. But BF had no earthly idea about any of it. He just knew we were eating dinner, and again, I was nervous. Sure, he was a big fan of Disneyland, and I convinced him to come to WDW, and he was even into the Royal Rooms, but taking pictures with Pooh and Tigger? This may have been a bridge too far.

We filled our plates with food (good food, by the way! Maybe the first time I'd ever seen vegetables in a Disney Park?) and returned to our table. No characters in sight. BF was pleased with his meal! Man, even Disney cuisine is getting a pass? This is going great. Still, no way to predict what his reaction to the characters will be...

Then I saw him make a face I'd never seen before. His eyes widened and his eyebrows arched skyward, and his 41 years looked more like seven as he became a kid right in front of me. Eeyore was making his way around the tables, and it was dawning on him that eventually he'd get to us. But instead of a photo of me crying for the 38th time that day, here's a picture of the Mickey confetti on the table:

unnamed-10.jpg

Eeyore got to our table, immediately rubbed BF and DF's heads. And the photo I took is probably the single most joyful image I've ever seen. If the rest of the vacation was hellfire, brimstone, and the Imagination Pavilion, this alone was worth the trip. Obviously, we made best friends with Eeyore, Tigger, Piglet, and Pooh, before partaking in the nightly Friendship Parade and back out onto the mean streets of Main.

We already felt lucky enough to have even gotten to WDW. But we realized we were even luckier when we learned that we arrived on the last full day of WDW's Christmas celebration. That's right, we got to see the castle looking like this.
unnamed-11.jpg

Purr. Tee.

I'm no mathematician, but I'm pretty sure 36 hours of being awake - 2 hours "sleep" + 2.5 hours on the phone with JetBlue + a 3 hour plane ride + a 1 hour car ride + 5 hours in the park + a belly full of buffet = coma. We headed back to POR to do all the sleeps.
unnamed-12.jpg

Next: Day Two: "Is There A Place I Can Lie Down?"
 
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MickeyMomV

Well-Known Member
Love this trip report already!!!
Prelude to a Dis

Picture it: November, 2013. Thor: The Dark World ruled the box office. We lamented how we'll never be royals. And a certain someone typing this trip report became debt-free for the first time. A freelance job paid very handsomely; enough to get out of debt, rejuvenate my savings account, AND plan a little trip to the happiest place on Earth.

The boyfriend (BF) had never been. This needed to be corrected. I had taken him to Disneyland the year before, nervous that he'd find the whole thing hokey, but when we both burst into tears when it snowed on Main Street after Believe...In Holiday Magic, I knew I had a believer. We had also been talking a lot with our Disney Friend (DF), who knows just about everything there is to know about the parks. He was thinking about going during a break from work at the beginning of January. Once that check was cashed, we pulled the trigger! A three-man jaunt to WDW January 6-11!

Wow. We were really going. I had only been twice in my life, once for a week in '91 with my family, and once for five days in '98 for my senior spring break trip. Both times offsite, both times incredible. But this was the real deal, Holyfield. DF suggested we stay at Port Orleans Riverside, and, because I hadn't quite yet fallen all the way down the Disney rabbit hole, I had never heard of it but deferred to his expertise. I've heard one or two or twelve billion complaints on these boards about MDE, but boy, oh boy did we have fun planning FP+ and dining! Things had really changed in 15 years (OMGmysenioryearwas15yearsagowhatamIdoingwithmylife), and I was insanely excited to be in the driver's seat of planning the trip.

Flash forward to January 5th, the night before the trip. DF spent the night at our place, because we live crazy-close to the airport. I went to bed early, giddy as a 1st grader. In just a few hours, we'd get up at the BC of dawn, hop in a car, and presto! A magical flying machine would take us to Neverland and everything would be great. Easy peasy, right? Wrongzo.

"Our flight has been canceled. The next available flight is Wednesday night."

Despite clear, mild weather, that was the rude awakening the BF laid on me at about 1 in the morning. 1 in the morning on MONDAY. Uh, pretty sure a Wednesday night flight would involve missing three days of unspeakable glee. Unacceptable, obvs. Have any of you ever been on the phone with JetBlue for two and a half hours in the middle of the night, terrified that your hopes and dreams of vacation bliss will be dashed? It's awesome. Highly recommended. Our first attempt was to rebook our original flight, from LGA to MCO. Nope. Wednesday night was the first available. Uh...should we rent a car and drive to Philly and fly from there? No flights. Boston? No flights. Washington? Nada. As I was on the phone with him, I kept reloading JetBlue.com. Flights kept popping up that the dude on the phone was missing!

"Hey! There's now a flight late tonight out of LaGuardia to Orlando. Do you see it?"

He found it and rebooked my BF on it. If DF and I had to go Wednesday, at least BF would be there for most of the planned trip. DF suddenly had a brainstorm: what about flights to other cities in Florida? Duh. Why hadn't we thought of that? I pulled up a map of Florida, product of the public school system that I am. Ooh! Tampa's close! Are there any flights to Tampa?

Whoa! There's a flight out of JFK to Tampa only an our after our original flight! With the car rental, we'd be missing 2-3 hours of the magic, tops! I told the dude (who never found us a flight; I literally would tell him what flights were available online and he'd book us on them) to book us.

"Passenger BF...is booked."

Hurray!

"Passenger DF...is booked."

Yessir! We're on our way!

"I was not able to rebook you. The seat is no longer available."

AM I IN A MOVIE?!? My boyfriend and friend are leaving for a week of delight, and I'm forced to meet them on Wednesday?!? Have I gone insane?

"Is there anything else I can do for you, sir?"
"I am not hanging up with you until I'm also on this flight to Tampa. And that's all there is to it."

I reloaded the page over and over again, like a doctor on a TV show yelling "CLEAR!", trying futilely to revive a long-dead patient. Hope was fading. Fast. Then, suddenly:

"A SEAT JUST OPENED UP. BOOK IT NOW, DUDE. BOOK IT NOW."
"Stand by...stand by...you are booked, sir."

We cheered with as much energy as three exhausted, stressed out dudes at 3:30 in the morning could. We got a couple hours of sleep, then popped back up, ready to pop over to JFK for smooth sailing to Tamp-town. Wrongzo againzo.

It was pouring freezing rain with a force that would make Noah go "Uh...yikes." The driver could barely see on the way to the airport. Bumper-to-bumper traffic. We were running out of time. At JFK, we stepped into the most chaotic state I've ever seen an airport in. People screaming, pushing, no discernible lines...it was like five minutes from grass skirts, body paint, and human sacrifice. Thank Walt that DF insisted we get Even More Speed when we rebooked; if we hadn't, we would've missed the flight.

Smooth flight. Nice landing. Picked up the rental and headed to Orlando; that is, after trusty navigators BF and DF spent the first few minutes of the drive figuring out how to play their iPods in the car. Um, y'know what, guys? I'd rather have the slightest clue where I'm going than be hearing the perfect Depeche Mode song right now. Cool? Cool. We stopped for a bite at Arby's because we don't have any Arby's in NYC and I love Arby's and I'm a gross monster, and as we stuffed our grateful faces with beeves and cheddars, we found out that JetBlue canceled all remaining flights out of NYC for the next two days. If we hadn't acted as fast as we did when our flight was canceled, we wouldn't have gotten to Florida.

DF turned on the Disney jams as we neared that familiar stretch of road. It was in our sights. It was really happening. Walt Disney World.

Next: Day One, Day Won
 

UnhealthilyObsessed

Well-Known Member
Original Poster
Day Two: "Is There A Place I Can Lie Down?"

Woke up at 6am like #$*&ing maniacs.

We had to drop off our rental car at the closest Alamo location...which turned out to be at the Walt Disney Dolphin. DF informed us how close that was to Epcot; thus, it became an Epcot day. We pulled up to the front doors, expecting to be told to drive around to the Alamo entrance, or wait 20 minutes for an Alamo specialist, or that we were sorely misinformed and had to return to Tampa...nope. The valet was like, "We'll take it from here, sir." Simple as that. I could get used to this place!

We cut through the Dolphin, which was pretty cool and charming in a slightly-dated 80's modernism way. Made me wish I had teased bangs and was wearing something fuchsia and with impossibly pointy shoulder pads. Perhaps tackle the BF or DF into a water feature. Michael Graves designed our toaster and coffee maker too, and I'm not sure I'd want to stay in those.
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We walked from the back of the Dolphin, taking in the Boardwalk, Yacht Club, and Beach Club en route to the International Gateway entrance. What a beautiful walk. Shining sun, pink and blue skies, and nobody around. I had already fallen in love with POR, but YC/BC and BW looked really cool, too. BW in particular reminded me of how nice it would be to do some Downtown Disney-esque things without having to go to Downtown Disney. All of this would've been even more perfect...if it wasn't THIRTY DEGREES OUTSIDE. We were not ready for that jelly. Rolls? I don't know, you guys.

We were one of the first fifty people through that park entrance, and we briskly walked through England and Canada on our way to the Land Pavilion. I kept checking in with BF to see what he was thinking of Epcot, trying to see it through his eyes, being exposed to it for the first time. He was digging it.

No wait for Soarin', so we hit it. Guess we could make a different FP+ selection for today! Soarin' was fun, but BF and I had done it at DCA and DF had ridden it approximately 9 puh-jillion times. It was time for something new. Since we were already in the pavilion, it was Living With The Land time. Again, so nervous that BF would not be a fan, since it's pretty edu-taining and Epcotty. But if he did like it, it was safe to assume he'd dig this park. SUCCESS! BF LOVED Living With the Land. So much that he asked to go on again immediately afterwards so he could get better pictures. DF and I were happy to oblige. For our upcoming return trip in November, I made a reservation for Behind the Seeds. BF is gonna freak out when he finds out.
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Looking at all that produce was making us famished, so we had a really good breakfast at Sunshine Seasons! We all got totally different things, and all of them were terrific. Definitely a cut above typical Disney breakfast fare. I can see why that place gets so much love on these boards.

I had been in the park for an hour and hadn't had a good, embarrassing cry yet. So obviously I was due. And that good, embarrassing cry arrived in the dumbest possible form: the opening of Circle of Life: An Environmental Fable. You have my full permission to mock me as much as you'd like. DF warned us that this was not exactly a must-do, but a Lion King short with all the original voices felt pretty must-do to me. All in all, it was fine, but nothing to text home about (I mean, who writes?). But still, I'm a sucker for that song.

Onto The Seas With Nemo & Friends! I liked The Living Seas, but this was fantastic! Loved the dark ride, loved the aquarium, and we even made a new best friend!
unnamed-13.jpg

His name is Muncho and he loves lettuce. He doesn't have much to say, but you have the sense he'd be there for you when you need him. Or if you have 100 or so pounds of lettuce.

We also met real-life Nemo and Dory!
unnamed-14.jpg

They were not nearly as charismatic or entertaining in person. They barely spoke! And when they did, it was about geopolitics and string theory. Yawn.

BF and I walked into Turtle Talk With Crush not knowing the first thing about it. Once we realized what was happening, our jaws got bruised from dropping to the floor. We alternately howled with laughter, gawked in absolute awe, and "awww"ed at the mega-cuteness of the kids interacting with Crush. I MEAN, IS THE CM ON A MIC AND WORKING CRUSH LIKE A VIDEO GAME?!? HOW DOES IT WORK?!?

After a little more dolphin-gazing, we headed to Spaceship Earth . This was one of my favorites as a kid, and I heard it had been drastically altered. So I arrived under the geodesic dome with some trepidation. All in all, I think it's still pretty great. Though when we began our descent back down, I definitely thought, "Man, this has just been a grid of stars for a while. Right? Is there anything else to this?" Then the interactive video kicked in. I don't hate it nearly as much as many on these boards, but it's a definite tonal shift from the first half of the ride. And not in a great way. At least my girl Data Banks is around to lend some ferocity to the proceedings:
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Next stop: Mission: SPACE, or, as I like to call it, Not Horizons. I was pretty heartbroken when DF broke the news to me that some of my Epcot favorites were gone: Horizons, World of Motion, the entire Wonders of Life Pavilion. What?!? What a bummer. Well, I'm sure they didn't go and replace everything with non-educational thrill rides or just straight-up abandon a pavilion...oh, wait. They super-mega-totally did those things. Don't get me wrong: Epcot has plenty of magic, but man, oh man, what it used to be was on another level. I'm not saying anything most of you don't already think. Hm. When did this box of All-Purpose Cheer appear under my feet?

Well, Mission: SPACE was kind of a fiasco. Of course we went for Orange Team. And after an intro video from Gary Sinise's hairpiece, I was pretty shocked to see straight-up barf bags in the ride. BF has already sworn off ToT after one ride on it as Disneyland, so again my nerves kicked in for him. The ride itself? Okay, I guess. Those 2.5 Gs were certainly a singular sensation. As commander, BF was flipping his switches dutifully, so maybe he wasn't totally hating it. I didn't dare look all the way over at him, lest we begin a three-man race for the mayor of Barfsville, but at least he wasn't totally incapacitated. Well, we got off and he could barely walk straight. DF and I kept asking if he was okay and he would mutter "yes." We weren't buying it, but we played along. We proposed walking over to Test Track to use our FPs, and he finally caved and said "I'm still pretty green. Is there a place I can lie down?"

And so, our journey to the Epcot First Aid Station at Odyssey Center began. They might as well call it the Mission: SPACE First Aid Center, because the nurses knew immediately what BF's deal was and what to do about it.

"Do you just want to lie down for an hour or so?"
"Yes, please."

He then got a FP for one of the interactive napping stations, sponsored by Xerox. And just in time! Because the Festival of Antibiotics Spectacular was marching from the entrance to the biohazard disposal box! Goofy makes a sexier Cipro syringe than I expected. Okay, none of those things happened. As far as you know.

DF and I bid BF a magical beauty sleep and queued up for Test Track. Cool stuff! I noticed a torn piece of wallpaper in one of the rooms and threw a fake fit: "Walt wouldn't stand for this!" DF informed me that a certain population of message boarders would agree with me, but wouldn't be joking. I half-believed him until I saw these boards for myself. Yeesh.

Really dug TT and its interactive elements, even if my awesome car design earned a lower score than DF's lame ugly garbage-mobile. And the post-show goodies were so fun to play around with, I barely even realized the whole thing was a giant commercial for Chevrolet: Like A Rock. Visit your local Chevy dealer for 0% APR financing for the first six months and $2500 cash back!

We picked up BF, seemingly refreshed now that his Prince Charming had come for him, and headed to World Showcase. We started with Mexico because we were all starving, the once-queasy BF included, and we all love Mexican food, because we're human beings. We arrived at the Cantina, or as I call it, Disgusting Giant Birdville. Why? BECAUSE THERE WERE DISGUSTING GIANT BIRDS GETTING UP IN EVERYONE'S BUSINESS. New York birds are relatively fearless, and they wouldn't stand a chance against this shameless horde of avian thugs. But as grossed out as we were, the siren song of carnitas tacos and churros with caramel sauce was too seductive and sweet. I noticed that the seating area closer to the lagoon was way less birdy. BF got his food first and headed to a table. Then, he made a classic rookie mistake: he left his food for ONE SECOND to grab a napkin. And a giant, nasty gull made one of BF's tacos its own personal Tippi Hedren. A CM was nice enough to replace his whole meal, and in a hurry! But we decided to eat on the ledge of the Mexico Pavilion rather than deal with Birdemic 3: This Time, It's Got Guacamole.

Good job, Mexico Pavilion! It's really cool in there. I can't say I have very vivid memories of it from either of my previous trips. I may never have been; is that possible? Anyway, Gran Fiesta Tour was...fine. The best part is passing the diners at San Angel Inn; it was so groovy that we have ADRs there for our November trip. And before you tell me, yes; I know the food is no great shakes. But the ambience and theming look so fun that we're okay with it. It's the East Coast's answer to Blue Bayou. La Cava del Tequila is also a must-do for the next trip; we skipped it this time because DF doesn't drink, and who wants to feel left out at WDW?

Next stop, Norway. The Frozen stuff was already at the Stave Church. We probably would've been more into it had we seen Frozen by then, which we hadn't. It wasn't until mid-March that armed Disney agents dropped through our skylight on ziplines and insisted upon a mandatory viewing. The longest we waited for any attraction at all the entire trip was about 25 minutes, and it was for The Maelstrom. Um...I know it's a moot point by now, but man, that ride has not aged well. The mural is literally insane. One of the female oil riggers looks exactly like our friend John's mom, and that was probably the highlight. When we were done, BF was like, "We waited 25 minutes for that?" Fair enough, BF. Fair enough. I had never stuck around for the Norway movie; this time we watched it and basked in the glory of its terribleness.

"Working. Playing. Living. Norway."
"Fish. Oil. High-waisted pants. Norway."
"Almonds. Photosynthesis. Precious metals. Norway."
"Hats. Butter. The dizzying feeling of emptiness that overcomes you when you realize how infinitesimal your place in the universe is. Norway."

China? Not much to say, other than how ugly and un-detailed it is:
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What a snooze, am I right? Plus, standing in that spot in the center that has perfect acoustics? That wasn't remotely incredible or inspiring at all. Also, all of this was obvs sarcasm and it was seriously amazing.

Germany: so cool! We love beer, so Biergarten is a must for our November trip. Italy seemed cool, but also mostly food-based? Plus, let's face it: we were kind of rushing to the American Adventure to check out Voices of Liberty. Well, DF and I did. BF and a cappella patriotic songs go together like toothpaste and orange juice. I, on the other hand, swelled with nationalistic pride and cried again, surprising no one. Nor were there any shocked faces when I did it again watching the American Adventure. That was a definite WDW first for me, and it was unbelievable.

The Japan Pavilion is so, so gorgeous. Mitsukoshi was amazing! Glad we found the back of the store where the candy and the sake was, because we definitely had both. It was a nice aperitif for the meal we were about to have. The anime exhibit at Bijutsu-kan was really cool too.

We admittedly rushed through Morocco, because our reservation time for Chefs de France was quickly approaching. And guys, I must say, it was kind of the dud meal of our whole trip. The French onion soup was pretty amazing, but all of our entrees were straight-up bad. Heavy without much flavor. Super-crowded, unnecessarily bright for a dinner service, and very loud. And frankly, our server was kind of a weirdo. If we hadn't been sitting right next to a couple happily eating while their school-age child openly slept with their head on the table, the whole thing would've been a bust. But hey, can't win them all. At least it was "free"! ;)

IllumiNations time! DF, because he's a straight-up baller, knew exactly where to stand. And I was excited, because it had probably been two hours or so since I blubbered like a school girl. Now...my guess is that the Earth Globe isn't supposed to go dim in the middle of the show for like three minutes as majestic music plays and there's nothing to look at. Am I right? Unless IllumiNations was directed by Lars von Trier or something. Still, a mere hiccup. The show was spectacular.

We ambled lazily towards the front gate to head back to POR, stopping at gift shops, learning about who the hell Duffy is from DF, etc. We opened and closed Epcot, with much more still to be done. I was pretty impressed by BF's willingness to go non-stop, especially considering it was buh-freezing outside. As Spaceship Earth grew smaller and smaller behind us, I got a little sad. But that feeling was fleeting, as a brand-new adventure was a mere night's sleep away. It's not every day you get to go to a Disney park you've never been to before, and that would happen tomorrow, with Animal Kingdom.
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Next: Day Three: It's Seriously Not A Zoo, You Guys
 

officialtom

Well-Known Member
Dude, I am in LOVE with this review. I think we're on the same level of obsessed-ness, although I've been a couple more times. I'm beyond jealous of your upcoming November trip. Hoping I'll get to go again next Feb/March, but I'm also building a house, so bills bills bills...

My bf is just starting his second of four years of a second university degree, and we're planning to go ASAP after he graduates IN THREE MORE YEARS. I'm going a little bit insane with anticipation. I might need to be committed to the nuthouse before we actually get to go. Have I mentioned that he has only been once, when he was younger, and he stayed OFF SITE??? The horror!!!!

Keep the review coming. And for god sakes, post some pics of the three of you!
 

DisSplash

Well-Known Member
Ditto, ditto, ditto. If I was drinking mom, I would be falling out of my chair as I read through your humorous commentary. Instead, I almost spit out my diet coke at various points of your crafty banter. You are one funny dude, Sniffles McGhee. So, so funny!

I have never done the Mission Space thing and I never intend to (green or orange), so my condolences to your BF for his unfortunate reaction, but happy to see that it did not totally kill his day or his appetite for Disney fare. That;'s half the Disney experience, in my humble and hungry opinion! Too bad about Chefs de France. Did the kid at the next table at least have the good sense to be sleeping on some food? That would have made for a great photo ....
 

DVCPluto

Well-Known Member
Can't wait to hear your opinion on DAK... I'm thinking you might tear up, but I can't be sure. ;)

Loved everything so far - especially about the birds. My son fed one of them chicken once and they came back for more... Just wrong. Total psycho birds.
 

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