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Should I skip my High School graduation?

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by wdwmagicfan1, May 12, 2017.

  1. wdwmagicfan1

    wdwmagicfan1 New Member

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    Hi everybody, first off let me say that I am a regular poster here, but I am just using an anonymous account for this post because I am a pretty private person. So here is my scenario. I have been diagnosed with depression and anxiety, and back in December, things got so bad that I was removed from public school and I became a homeschooler. Well, the school that I was unenrolled from was gracious enough to allow me to walk with the rest of my class if I want to. But here is the situation- while my depression has gotten drastically better, my anxiety is currently through the roof. While I want to walk, every time I think about it I feel extremely nervous. I have been thinking about this day in and day out, and I just cannot come to a conclusion. My parents are pressuring me to walk, and I feel as though the school wants me to as well. Don’t get me wrong, I realize what a big deal this is, and how important it is to my parents, and how I may regret not walking the stage when I am older. But I am really struggling with this. I will be getting my diploma either way, so it just comes down to if I want to walk the stage or not. I would really like some opinions on what I should do. This isn’t just some teenager going “oh, I don’t feel like it”. I genuinely care about this but I feel as though it will be too much for me to handle. Please give any opinions for or against!
     
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  2. Goofyernmost

    Goofyernmost Well-Known Member

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    Why not give it a try. Worst case scenario is you have to leave. Having been through two graduations of my own, high school and college, two at my daughters graduations and three with my wife, I can comfortably go on record saying the 99.9% of the ceremony is a crashing bore. And the only thing you think about is not falling asleep during most of it. Otherwise you participation involves walking, shaking a hand, grabbing a diploma and sitting down. No being asked to speak, no extra stuff to do. It is one of the easiest things in the world to deal with. If you don't go... well, the world will not come to an end, but, it is likely that sooner or later, you will kick yourself for not trying. You only graduate from HS once. Whatever you decide... congratulations and good luck with everything.
     
  3. larryz

    larryz Well-Known Member

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    Just keep playing this over and over... as you do, imagine yourself lining up, walking up on stage, taking your diploma and shaking a hand, then walking off stage and back to your seat. Piece of cake...
     
    Last edited: May 12, 2017
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  4. Uncle Lupe

    Uncle Lupe Well-Known Member

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    YOLO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Take the walk with no regrets to have down the road. Take the walk with pride not anxiety. Take the walk as the last steps in this chapter of your life and the first steps of a new one.
     
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  5. rob0519

    rob0519 Well-Known Member

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    It's great that you're looking here for advice, but hopefully there is someone in your life that you trust, other than your parents to look to for advice, grandparents, clergy, therapist, etc. It's easy for people to say take the walk, but only you know how you feel. Being pressured generally just makes anxiety worse. Being back in the same surroundings that you were in last December could trigger the depression and anxiety again.
    Your peace of mind going forward for the rest of your life is more important than anything, even your parents feelings. We wanted our younger daughter to accept her college diploma in person, but she chose not to for her own reasons. Were my wife and I disappointed, yes, but we got over that quickly. I'm surprised they're pressuring you to do this knowing how you feel. Congratulations on getting your diploma and Best Wishes on making the right decision for you.
     
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  6. Goofyernmost

    Goofyernmost Well-Known Member

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    Although that is to some extent true and we don't really know this person, there are two ways to enable. One way is just let someone give in to emotions that are bound to change with time. The other is to enable them to make the move to help themselves over a hurdle by encouraging them to overcome their fears. Even a baby bird is sometimes pushed from the nest in order to learn to fly. So far I have only seen gentle persuasion, not pressure. Suggestions are different then orders. Besides the OP hasn't returned at all anyway, so it is probably nothing to worry about for us.
     
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  7. Minthorne

    Minthorne Well-Known Member

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    Life is about saying "yes" but most people only manage "maybe".
     
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  8. rob0519

    rob0519 Well-Known Member

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    "My parents are pressuring me to walk, and I feel as though the school wants me to as well." So while you don't think anyone here is offering more than "gentle persuasion", the OP used the word pressured. Her depression was serious enough for her to leave school in her senior year and finish at home. Each individual and their circumstances are different. Yes, sometimes facing your fears is a good thing, sometimes it does end badly as well. Hopefully, she makes the decision she feels is best for her.
     
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  9. Goofyernmost

    Goofyernmost Well-Known Member

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    Sadly, we cannot control how people perceive things. All we can do is hope that suggestions that are made do not do any harm. If you read my original post, I specifically said that "not going is not the end of the world" of they didn't go and then "whatever, you decide, congrats, etc. I cannot help it IF the OP takes that as pressure or not. All I can do is offer support and options. Not saying anything, in my opinion, simply means that someone was reaching out, and we just didn't care. How our life goes does not limit itself to just today. There is today, tomorrow, the day after and the so on. What we do today can and usually does affect us a long way down the road. Advice is not pressuring anyone.
     
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  10. wdwmagicfan1

    wdwmagicfan1 New Member Original Poster

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    Thank you for all of the kind words everybody. It really means a lot to me.
     
  11. 21stamps

    21stamps Well-Known Member

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    When I first read the title I was going to give a list of reasons. But then I read your post and you already listed all of those reasons. The decision is yours, obviously, But everything that you said and your parents have said is true. I hope that you do choose to walk because I would hate to see you regret it later on.

    Do they still have a trial run in schools? We did when I was in high school, if so then it would be great to gauge how you feel from that.

    Do you have a therapist who can talk this out with you as well and maybe help you with ways to prepare for it? it's just such a momentous occasion. One that is truly once-in-a-lifetime.
     
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  12. DisneyPrincess5

    DisneyPrincess5 Well-Known Member

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    I battled similar issues in high school so I feel for you. If you work hard and get the help you deserve, you will completely change your life's course around. Trust me. Keep going!

    I chose not to walk at my high school graduation.
    My parents were displeased but I was shall we say not the easiest of people at the time, so they chose not to fight a battle I wasn't budging on.
    I made that choice because I had multiple falling outs with friends/classmates and hated high school in general and was just done with that environment. I had gone to a private school in another town from K-8 with friends who I missed dearly so my high school experience was with a crowd I never really felt connected to so I really didn't care about walking.
    I was already accepted and set to attend college that Fall which I was very proud of and felt that the college grad walk was far more mearningful for me. Meaning, I knew I'd walk at that graduation so walking at my high school graduation seemed meaningless to me.

    I did not walk and I don't regret it for a second. I'll be graduating with my graduate degree next year which I am most proud to walk at. I actually get teary thinking about it.

    The difference between me and you is that you actually want to. I wouldn't ignore that desire. Keep working towards what you want, not towards what anxiety tempts you to do.

    Congrats on completing your high school education, which ever route you take!
     
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  13. wdwmagicfan1

    wdwmagicfan1 New Member Original Poster

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    Yes, we have a trial run, and that makes me just as anxious TBH. And I do have a therapist that I plan on discussing this with as well.
     
  14. GenerationX

    GenerationX Well-Known Member

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    Unless you're a total screw-up, graduating high school is a given. Many like to say it's a big deal, but it's not something you'll look back on in 30 years and say, "I'm so proud for having graduated high school". The ceremonies are complete bores. I've got one more I need to attend in a week for son #3, then I am finally done with them.

    We are bombarded with messages saying we have to do things that are, in fact, not at all mandatory. Try to weigh what's best for you. If you can get yourself to a calm, open, or curious state before the event, you'll probably be glad that you went. If not, you probably won't.
     
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  15. wdwmagicfan1

    wdwmagicfan1 New Member Original Poster

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    So my dad just accused me of "not graduating high school" if I don't walk. My mom is the one that has mostly helped me through this stuff, and my dad just doesn't understand. I'm starting to lean towards not walking, but this really ticks me off. I'm still getting a diploma either way, therefore I am a graduate. I really don't know what to do anymore.
     
  16. Goofyernmost

    Goofyernmost Well-Known Member

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    I hate to say this about your Dad, but, geez, how stupid can one get? The diploma is just a piece of paper that is put in a frame eventually and never taken out again for the rest of your life. Of course, you can graduate without walking up and getting it, but, they will send it to you anyway. That isn't the reason for going, it is the social celebration of a lot of hard work that went into earning it. It is the memory of the completion of a big job and sharing it with others that did the same. The ceremony itself is just a validation of the fact that you did the work and have achieved that important level of development in your life, however, it is social only. It doesn't change the fact that you have accomplished an important step in your life. Go or don't go.. you still have graduated.
     
    Last edited: May 15, 2017
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  17. 21stamps

    21stamps Well-Known Member

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    I hate to assume here, but I wonder if he meant- that's what you might feel like if you don't go. Not excusing it, just an odd thing to say.

    I read a couple of comments here that got me thinking. I look back on high school, and at my graduation, and I remember it vividly. I didn't think it was stupid, neither did my parents. Graduating high school should be a given, but I don't think it's celebrated only because of the accomplishment, I think it's celebrated for what it represents- of course the hard work of the previous 12 years, but also- kids moving away from their parents for the first time, moving away from their friends- most likely to a different city, entering a completely different stage of your life, probably somewhat independently for the first time. All of this should be celebrated, because that is a huge deal imo.

    But, I look back on mine so fondly mainly because of my friends, because of the memories we made along the way, of the chapter we were closing, and because of the adventures we were about to embark on. It was a bittersweet yet exciting time.

    If you don't look at high school with those fond memories, and you don't care to celebrate your past and future with these people, then maybe it will be better to skip it if it is stressing you out. If you are only walking for the piece of paper, then no, it isn't necessary.
     
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