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LOL, the annual "worst" Christmas carol thread
- Thread starter eliza61nyc
- Start date
Smiley/OCD
Well-Known Member
I have to add Katy Perry’s new version of “White Christmas” to the list...Katy, what were you thinking when you entered the studio? I really like your music, but man, Bing’s rolling over in his grave!!! Worst version EVER
Last year I ripped into Simply Having a Wonderful Christmas Time for it's melodic and lyrical banality.
But this year, a new contender has entered the ring because it seems radio stations have been taken over by Satan himself and he's decided that this year, Christmas Wrapping should be in heavy rotation. It supersedes the song McCartney phoned in with its complete lack of any melodic or lyrical beauty and throws in horrible vocals. Even worse, it goes on longer than Simply Having. Here's the song and lyrics to holiday suicide by...
Bah Humbug, now that's too strong!
'Cause it is my favorite holiday
But all this year's been a busy blur
Don't think I have the energy
To add to my already mad rush
Just 'cause it's 'tis the season
The perfect gift for me would be
Completions and connections left from last year
Ski shop encounter most interesting
Had his number but never the time
Most of '81 passed along those lines
So deck those halls Trim those trees
Raise up cups of Christmas cheer
I just need to catch my breath
Christmas by myself this year
Calendar picture Frozen landscape
Chill this room for twenty-four days
Evergreens Sparkling snow
Get this winter over with!
Flash back to spring time saw him again
Would have been good to go for lunch
Couldn't agree when we were both free
We tried, we said we'd keep in touch
Didn't of course 'till summer time
Out to the beach to his boat
Could I join him?
No This time it was me
Sunburn in the third degree
Now the calendar's just one page
Of course I am excited
Tonight's the night I've set my mind
Not to do too much about it
Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas
But I think I'll miss this one this year
Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas
But I think I'll miss this one this year
Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas
But I think I'll miss this one this year
Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas
But I think I'll miss this one this year
Hardly dashing through the snow
'Cause I bundled up too tight
Last minute have-to-dos
A few cards, a few calls
Because it's RSVP
No, thanks No party lights
It's Christmas Eve, gonna relax
Turn down all of my invites
Last fall I had a night to myself
Same guy called, Halloween party
Waited all night for him to show
This time his car wouldn't go
Forget it, it's cold, it's getting late
Trudge on home to celebrate
In a quiet way unwind
Doing Christmas right this time
A&P has provided me
With the world's smallest turkey
Already in the oven, nice and hot
Oh damn! Guess what I forgot
So on with the boots
Back out in the snow
To the only all night grocery
When what to my wondering eyes should appear
In the line is that guy I've been chasing all year
'Spending this one alone,' he said
'Give me a break, this year's been crazy'
I said 'Me too, but why are you
You mean you forgot cranberries too?'
Then suddenly we laughed and laughed
Caught on to what was happening
That Christmas magic's brought this tale
To a very happy ending
Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas
Couldn't miss this one this year
Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas
Couldn't miss this one this year
Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas
Couldn't miss this one this year
Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas
Couldn't miss this one this year
Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas
Couldn't miss this one this year
Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas
Couldn't miss this one this year
Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas
But this year, a new contender has entered the ring because it seems radio stations have been taken over by Satan himself and he's decided that this year, Christmas Wrapping should be in heavy rotation. It supersedes the song McCartney phoned in with its complete lack of any melodic or lyrical beauty and throws in horrible vocals. Even worse, it goes on longer than Simply Having. Here's the song and lyrics to holiday suicide by...
Bah Humbug, now that's too strong!
'Cause it is my favorite holiday
But all this year's been a busy blur
Don't think I have the energy
To add to my already mad rush
Just 'cause it's 'tis the season
The perfect gift for me would be
Completions and connections left from last year
Ski shop encounter most interesting
Had his number but never the time
Most of '81 passed along those lines
So deck those halls Trim those trees
Raise up cups of Christmas cheer
I just need to catch my breath
Christmas by myself this year
Calendar picture Frozen landscape
Chill this room for twenty-four days
Evergreens Sparkling snow
Get this winter over with!
Flash back to spring time saw him again
Would have been good to go for lunch
Couldn't agree when we were both free
We tried, we said we'd keep in touch
Didn't of course 'till summer time
Out to the beach to his boat
Could I join him?
No This time it was me
Sunburn in the third degree
Now the calendar's just one page
Of course I am excited
Tonight's the night I've set my mind
Not to do too much about it
Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas
But I think I'll miss this one this year
Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas
But I think I'll miss this one this year
Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas
But I think I'll miss this one this year
Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas
But I think I'll miss this one this year
Hardly dashing through the snow
'Cause I bundled up too tight
Last minute have-to-dos
A few cards, a few calls
Because it's RSVP
No, thanks No party lights
It's Christmas Eve, gonna relax
Turn down all of my invites
Last fall I had a night to myself
Same guy called, Halloween party
Waited all night for him to show
This time his car wouldn't go
Forget it, it's cold, it's getting late
Trudge on home to celebrate
In a quiet way unwind
Doing Christmas right this time
A&P has provided me
With the world's smallest turkey
Already in the oven, nice and hot
Oh damn! Guess what I forgot
So on with the boots
Back out in the snow
To the only all night grocery
When what to my wondering eyes should appear
In the line is that guy I've been chasing all year
'Spending this one alone,' he said
'Give me a break, this year's been crazy'
I said 'Me too, but why are you
You mean you forgot cranberries too?'
Then suddenly we laughed and laughed
Caught on to what was happening
That Christmas magic's brought this tale
To a very happy ending
Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas
Couldn't miss this one this year
Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas
Couldn't miss this one this year
Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas
Couldn't miss this one this year
Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas
Couldn't miss this one this year
Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas
Couldn't miss this one this year
Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas
Couldn't miss this one this year
Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas
May God have mercy on your tasteless soul.
Bless you. You think i have a soul .
Sold it to finance my last wdw vacation.
Edit; why are we taking musical advice from a penguin. All you guys are good for is dancing
Last edited:
Sans Souci
Well-Known Member
I can't stand this one, either. It's probably because I have an intense dislike for "I Know What Boys Like." Not to speak ill of the dead, but, OK, sis...
Sans Souci
Well-Known Member
A shower thought I had this morning...who decided "Hallelujah" was a Christmas song? I've been hearing this played as a Christmas song for the past 5-6 years.
You could argue for it's inclusion as a christmas song due to the fact that the original was released in December.
Not to mention: it's awful.
For, who decided it was appropriate for any occasion? It's one of those songs that people don't pay attention to the verses, because if they did, they'd realize it makes zero sense. The artists who covered it had wildly different interpretations of the nonsense lyrics, often changing words to suit their interpretation. Not to mention Cohen himself couldn't decide of the dozens of verses he wrote, which were canonical. Then it gets overused by all the movies and TV shows that used it as emotional background music that seems religious and dramatic but not realizing that it gets the dramatic stories of the Bible wrong.
Not since Michael Jackson put into We Are the World the lyrics that were biblically sounding, but completely opposite of what the Bible says, namely "As God has shown us, by turning stones to bread..." (which didn't happen, it was a temptation that Jesus refused), has there been such a distortion of the Bible in pop music.
But you know... it has a nice chord progression: "The fourth, the fifth, the minor fall and the major lift." Which is a chord progression literally thousands of popular songs have (and King David would certainly not have had at that time).
Ah, the Die Hard rule.
13*Minute*Wait
Well-Known Member
Worst Christmas song EVER!
Princess Leia
Well-Known Member
Somehow this is the first time I’ve heard this song (and I didn’t make it very far into listening to it, stopped after the first line was sung).
There are literally millions of versions of the standards, and yet the local iheart radio station plays only a select few. Variety would be nice.
Sans Souci
Well-Known Member
You're from the land of the "Christmas Number One." What surprises me is that Christmas Number One's aren't always Christmas songs. Hand to heart, when I lived in England, the Christmas Number One was the theme to "Bob the Builder" one year.
So I could see how you would think this was a Christmas song.
macefamily
Well-Known Member
Did something happen with the rights to Mariah Carey's All I Want For Christmas ? While in the park at Universal Studios, you would hear that song at least four times during the day. We were at the parks for three days, and we did not hear it once.
StarWarsGirl
Well-Known Member
erasure fan1
Well-Known Member
Man I'm liking Universal more and more everyday. I'd say that's the highlight of the trip then.
