Husband and I are taking Disney Trip, March 2020 w/ Daughters but kind of separate? Need advice and experience stories

[Jewels0621]

DH&I are at YC resort and they will be at ASMovies resort. It will be for their 20 and 21 birthdays but they are paying for their trips and we'll be paying for ours. We're flying in from KY early and hope to be on the same flight but that's not guaranteed. DH and I are definitely set on YC for couple time. We'll help them with some expenses if needed, but it's their first "grown up" experience and won't pay for a majority of their trips. But we plan on treating them to a special event. We'll have cell phones of course, but Husband and I have been worrying a little about them being away from us and coordinating plans or meeting up. We seem more concerned then they do. We want to spend time with them but not be clingy. Boy do I sound like a helicopter mom?! Sooo, anyone else been the parent or child in a similar position? Was it easy or frustrating to book stuff like ADR,FP? Just looking for advice, tips,etc. and venting I guess. I searched the forums and nothing seems to match? Day 1 set for MK for all of us together, rest of itinerary not set in stone.

 

[mousehockey37]

So you're staying at YC and the kids are at All Star Movies.... I guess a nice birthday treat would be switching around and letting them stay at YC and you and DH take ASM, just my opinion.

So I guess a question here is... is this a family trip? Or are you just going at the same time your kids are?

While 20/21 is still young, they're adults and they should be able to do this trip themselves. I'd have a loose plan of meeting up once or twice for a family thing or two, but other than that... you're on your trip and they're on theirs, leave them be.

And, you don't sound like a helicopter parent... you're proving to be the prime example of one.

 

[CaptainAmerica]

Boy do I sound like a helicopter mom?!

Yes.

 

[Jewels0621]

So you're staying at YC and the kids are at All Star Movies.... I guess a nice birthday treat would be switching around and letting them stay at YC and you and DH take ASM, just my opinion.

So I guess a question here is... is this a family trip? Or are you just going at the same time your kids are?

While 20/21 is still young, they're adults and they should be able to do this trip themselves. I'd have a loose plan of meeting up once or twice for a family thing or two, but other than that... you're on your trip and they're on theirs, leave them be.

And, you don't sound like a helicopter parent... you're proving to be the prime example of one.

Well, I probably am but they don't seem to be complaining since they live at home rent free. They wouldn't even want to be at the YC, too stuffy. I like the loose plan idea.

 

[CaptainAmerica]

Well, I probably am but they don't seem to be complaining since they live at home rent free. They wouldn't even want to be at the YC, too stuffy. I like the loose plan idea.

Step one: kick them out or start charging rent.

 

[DisneyJoe]

What is your worry?

 

[mousehockey37]

Well, I probably am but they don't seem to be complaining since they live at home rent free. They wouldn't even want to be at the YC, too stuffy. I like the loose plan idea.

How about this... How about let them handle their own finances and if they find they can't afford the trip before they go, they don't go? I understand parents should want to help with finances, but it's not exactly letting them grow up if you step in and pay the rest of their way for "expenses should they need it"... They can either afford the trip or they can't.

 

[CaptainAmerica]

How about this... How about let them handle their own finances and if they find they can't afford the trip before they go, they don't go? I understand parents should want to help with finances, but it's not exactly letting them grow up if you step in and pay the rest of their way for "expenses should they need it"... They can either afford the trip or they can't.

Unless it's fully a family trip. When my family all travels together, I pay for my immediate family, my parents pay for themselves, my married sister pays for her and her husband, and we all chip in to pay for my college student sister.

 

[mousehockey37]

Unless it's fully a family trip. When my family all travels together, I pay for my immediate family, my parents pay for themselves, my married sister pays for her and her husband, and we all chip in to pay for my college student sister.

That's along the lines of what I'm saying... if it's one big family trip, I'd expect the parents to help. However, this isn't that.

 

[Jewels0621]

How about this... How about let them handle their own finances and if they find they can't afford the trip before they go, they don't go? I understand parents should want to help with finances, but it's not exactly letting them grow up if you step in and pay the rest of their way for "expenses should they need it"... They can either afford the trip or they can't.

Thanks, they are pretty responsible and have already saved up to pay for the trip. I'm just thinking if they need something down there. I must haven't communicate right.

What is your worry?

What is your worry?

Our "worry" is a convenience thing, like flying in together, meeting up easily, not so much as if they can handle it or not.

 

[DisneyJoe]

Have you been to WDW before?

 

[Jewels0621]

That's along the lines of what I'm saying... if it's one big family trip, I'd expect the parents to help. However, this isn't that.

This is new territory for us. We went them last time in 2007, when they were children. When we go to comic book conventions with them now, it's not a matter of payment, it's them doing their thing, and we do ours, and hang out sometimes together. I know the trip will be on a much larger scale, similar but different.

 

[aliceismad]

Have you flat out asked them how much time they want to spend with you?

Why not have some standing meetings (e.g., dinner ressie on certain nights or a morning planned to tour a park together) and then leave the rest a bit more flexible? If you and DH are there for couple time, perhaps some more romantic dinner dates are planned for the two of you?

It’s Disney. Your adult children will fine. You have cell phones to communicate with.

 

[Jewels0621]

Have you been to WDW before?

Yes, in August 2007

 

[mousehockey37]

Thanks, they are pretty responsible and have already saved up to pay for the trip. I'm just thinking if they need something down there. I must haven't communicate right.


Our "worry" is a convenience thing, like flying in together, meeting up easily, not so much as if they can handle it or not.

I think you communicated correctly and just aren't happy the responses aren't going the direction you had hoped. Mom and dad won't always be around to bail them out, so it's best they figure it out now.

As for your "worry"... It's time to let the kids go. What does it matter if you're on the same flight? Meeting up? Fine, have a few "family" times booked, but other than that, any "meeting up" or "checking in" is absolutely unnecessary.

 

[Jewels0621]

Have you flat out asked them how much time they want to spend with you?

Why not have some standing meetings (e.g., dinner ressie on certain nights or a morning planned to tour a park together) and then leave the rest a bit more flexible? If you and DH are there for couple time, perhaps some more romantic dinner dates are planned for the two of you?

It’s Disney. Your adult children will fine. You have cell phones to communicate with.

 

[aliceismad]

Regarding the FPs and ADRs, if you have MDE and are linked to their accounts (or if they don’t have accounts) you can make plans for them. Or you could have a travel agent help with that.

 

[Jewels0621]

I think you communicated correctly and just aren't happy the responses aren't going the direction you had hoped. Mom and dad won't always be around to bail them out, so it's best they figure it out now.

As for your "worry"... It's time to let the kids go. What does it matter if you're on the same flight? Meeting up? Fine, have a few "family" times booked, but other than that, any "meeting up" or "checking in" is absolutely unnecessary.

I'm quite fine and settled with my relationship with my daughters and husband. Thanks for the parenting advice, I am really looking for Disney World advice.

You're right, I know we'll have cell phones. I was hoping for past experiences to help plan my trip.

 

[mousehockey37]

I'm quite fine and settled with my relationship with my daughters and husband. Thanks for the parenting advice, I am really looking for Disney World

You're right, I know we'll have cell phones. I was hoping for past experiences to help plan my trip.

Put the chopper in the hangar then. There's obviously issues you aren't comfortable with, otherwise, you wouldn't have started this thread.

 

[Jewels0621]

Regarding the FPs and ADRs, if you have MDE and are linked to their accounts (or if they don’t have accounts) you can make plans for them. Or you could have a travel agent help with that.

Thank you!