Never done this before, but it seems like a fun narcissistic exercise, so I'm game.
Background - My husband and I have had a motorhome for about ten years now. Since then, we’ve gone to Florida almost every year in the winter or spring. Those trips to Florida always involve a 3 - 4 day stop at WDW. And now that my children are school-age, our trips tend to be during the height of Spring Break Flying Monkey Season (Easter Week).
In the next 2 weeks I’ll be frantically cleaning and packing the motorhome. Perhaps cooking a few freezer dinners that we can reheat if needed.
So here’s the plan:
The people - Me (Schneewittchen), DH (Grumpy), DS (Dopey), DD (Cindylala)
The dogs - Stinkerbell and Chubby (they will sleep, eat, pee, repeat for the entire trip, so they won't be mentioned again)
The vehicle - Edsel, a 14 year-old, 30' Class C, V10 Dinosaur-juice slurping beast
Friday, March 25, 2016 - Pre-dawn launch (5 - 6 AM-ish) from Washington, DC suburbs taking I-95 South. Hoping for sleeping kids until we hit the Richmond beltway area. Bringing a portable DVD player for each kid and about 20 Disney movies. Planning for random stops to stretch around Smithfield, NC and Santee, SC. Aiming to stop for the night at a KOA campground south of Savannah, GA. There’s a 95% chance of a disappointing Arby’s fast food lunch. Maybe I should pack some Wonder Bread and cold cuts and hope for a rest area lunch break. And if traffic cooperates and we make camp before sunset, Grumpy will grill something for dinner and the kids will roll around in the sand at “The World’s Oldest Playground - featuring freaky rocking poultry and dang hot metal slides”.
Saturday, March 26, 2016 - Pre-dawn launch (6 AM-ish) from Savannah, GA taking I-95 South and then I-4 West. This time the early launch is to catch the lovely sunrise over the marshes. Chances are good we’ll be stopping at a disreputable looking Walmart to buy whatever essentials we forgot to pack. (Last year it was extra sneakers for the kids, the year before Grumpy forgot to pack his underwear.) I’m hoping it’s something easier like red solo cups….. I’m expecting a painful Taco Bell lunch. But maybe cold cuts in a Walmart parking lot is a better deal. Anyway, if we really do get that early launch, we’ll be in St. Pete’s by lunchtime!!!!! So maybe we’re having lunch at the campground, busting out our bicycles for a quick ride on the Pinellas County Trail and taking a dip in the pool. At dinnertime I’m going to insist on going somewhere for a fried grouper dinner. Because.
Sunday, March 27, 2016 - It’s Easter. Let’s go to the beach. Eat more sad, sandy ham sandwiches on the beach and get burnt. MORE FRIED GROUPER FOR DINNER!!!!
Monday, March 28, 2016 - The preview day - WDW!!!!!!! Take our sweet time crawling from St. Pete’s to WDW. Stop at Orange World to buy 50 lbs of weedy-looking Florida oranges. Have lunch at Chik-fil-a and this time I’m happy and not complaining about fast food. Tears of joy streaming down our faces as we glide beneath the giant wallet-stealing rat sign. Be in line checking in at Ft. Wilderness by about 12:30 pm. Park the buggy. Plug in the hook-ups. Argue with the Magic Bands - regret that I ordered mine before Purple was a thing - jerks. Catch a bus to the outdoor mall formerly known as Downtown Disney. BUY ALL THE SOUVENIRS. Catch a bus back to camp. Put Cindylala in the stupid glitterfart Tinkerbell outfit, let Dope be Captain Hook (I’ll even give him an eyeliner curly mustache) and catch the boat to the Contemporary for at 6:40 PM ADR at Chef Mickey’s. Wheeee! I hug/mug Mickey and cry. Grump takes pictures. Go to the Fantasia shops - BUY ALL THE TOYS. Catch the monorail to the Poly. Go to the Pineapple Lanai - EAT ALL THE DOLE WHIPS. Catch the Electrical Water Pageant at Poly, Contemporary or the Ft. Wilderness beach…. Sleep soundly and have magical 8 bit dreams. Or drink five alcoholic freezer slurpees because I’m too excited to sleep.
Tuesday, March 29, 2016 - The main event - MK!!!!! Wake at 5:45. Fruit Loops and coffee - the breakfast of champions. Put Cindylala in her Cinderella dress and let Dope wear his Jack Sparrow hat. Don’t forget the contraband glow sticks and Disneyland mouse ears. Line up for the first boat to MK by about 7:15. Singing, dancing, Mickey, weeping, rope drop!!!!! Run to Adventureland. PoTC, Jungle Cruise, HM……… ALL THE RIDES. Get Grump more coffee. Country Bears, IASM, Mermaid, Dumbo.... More ALL THE RIDES. Fast passes for Peter Pan, SDMT, and Pooh. Probably un-pizzas at Pinocchio’s Village Haus for lunch and ADRs for a 7ish dinner at the Crystal Palace. Everyone hugs/mugs Piglet. Weeping. Grump takes more pictures. "Where’s my Dole Whip?" Run back to Adventureland and take care of that. PeopleMover, the Speedway, the Liberty Belle after dark. "Are there more rides?" Fireworks and Electrical parade. Boat back to camp. Sleep like the dead.
Wednesday, March 30, 2016 - adult day - EPCOT!!!!! Wake at 6 I hope. Snow White dress for Cindylala maybe Peter Pan hat for Dope. 7:30 am - a slow mickey waffle breakfast at Trail’s End. Lots of coffee for Grump. Boat to Contemporary. Monorail to EPCOT. I guess we should get on some rides. Maybe Figment, Living with the Land and Ellen’s Energy Adventure. Lunch ADRs at Restaurant Marrkesh. Schnee and Grump play Around the World. Schnee now only refers to herself in the third person. Cindylala and Dope are bored. "There are no rides here." Schnee drinks all of the light, refreshing grapefruit beer. Grump is slamming Kronenbourgs. Fast passes for Nemo, Spaceship Earth and Test Track. Dinner ADRs at Akershus. Little Snow White and big Snow White together at least. Schnee's life is complete now that she can live vicariously through Cindyla. Grump takes another picture. "You know, Pineapple Promenade sells a Dole Whip knock-off." "It would be better with rum." Fire and water show. The longest monorail line ever. Boat back to camp. Two hangovers, one motorhome toilet.....
Thursday, March 31, 2016 - the Revenge of the MK!!! Everything hurts. Wake at 5:45??? Water…. Coffee….. Put Cindylala in her NEW SURPRISE Aurora dress (I wub u mama, bess mama ebber) and let Dope wear his smelly Jack Sparrow hat again. Line up for the first boat to MK by about 7:15. Singing, dancing, Mickey, weeping, rope drop!!!!! Hobble to Liberty Square. Do stuff. Breathe this time. Fish n Chips at Columbia Harbour House for lunch. Just enjoy the magic. Fast passes to Tomorrowland Speedway, BTMR, and Splash Mountain. Leave some time in the early evening and go back to camp to hose off the glitter. Hop on a boat to Wilderness Lodge for dinner ADRs at Artist Point around 8. "We should have gotten a babysitter." Relax. "Do you want to head over to the Poly for another Dole Whip?"
Friday, April 1, 2016 - The End. Knees hurt, feet swollen, can’t walk. Wake late. Crawl to Trail’s End for more coffee and waffles. Check out by 11. Drive to Savannah. "Why does it seem to take longer going in this direction?"
Saturday, April 2, 2016 - Drive to DC.
Sunday, April 3, 2016 - Grump asks "why don’t we fly next year?" Schnee balances the checkbook and cries. Grump suggests making summer national parks trip reservations that afternoon. And Schnee starts feeling the compulsive OCD urge to over-plan the next WDW trip too.
Monday, April 4, 2016 - Schnee calls this random girl she went to high school with that’s now a travel agent (Florida hausfrau) specializing in Disney. Schnee asks her about rooms in the Contemporary for Easter 2017, has a stroke over the prices and then gives her the credit card number anyway…….
Background - My husband and I have had a motorhome for about ten years now. Since then, we’ve gone to Florida almost every year in the winter or spring. Those trips to Florida always involve a 3 - 4 day stop at WDW. And now that my children are school-age, our trips tend to be during the height of Spring Break Flying Monkey Season (Easter Week).
In the next 2 weeks I’ll be frantically cleaning and packing the motorhome. Perhaps cooking a few freezer dinners that we can reheat if needed.
So here’s the plan:
The people - Me (Schneewittchen), DH (Grumpy), DS (Dopey), DD (Cindylala)
The dogs - Stinkerbell and Chubby (they will sleep, eat, pee, repeat for the entire trip, so they won't be mentioned again)
The vehicle - Edsel, a 14 year-old, 30' Class C, V10 Dinosaur-juice slurping beast
Friday, March 25, 2016 - Pre-dawn launch (5 - 6 AM-ish) from Washington, DC suburbs taking I-95 South. Hoping for sleeping kids until we hit the Richmond beltway area. Bringing a portable DVD player for each kid and about 20 Disney movies. Planning for random stops to stretch around Smithfield, NC and Santee, SC. Aiming to stop for the night at a KOA campground south of Savannah, GA. There’s a 95% chance of a disappointing Arby’s fast food lunch. Maybe I should pack some Wonder Bread and cold cuts and hope for a rest area lunch break. And if traffic cooperates and we make camp before sunset, Grumpy will grill something for dinner and the kids will roll around in the sand at “The World’s Oldest Playground - featuring freaky rocking poultry and dang hot metal slides”.
Saturday, March 26, 2016 - Pre-dawn launch (6 AM-ish) from Savannah, GA taking I-95 South and then I-4 West. This time the early launch is to catch the lovely sunrise over the marshes. Chances are good we’ll be stopping at a disreputable looking Walmart to buy whatever essentials we forgot to pack. (Last year it was extra sneakers for the kids, the year before Grumpy forgot to pack his underwear.) I’m hoping it’s something easier like red solo cups….. I’m expecting a painful Taco Bell lunch. But maybe cold cuts in a Walmart parking lot is a better deal. Anyway, if we really do get that early launch, we’ll be in St. Pete’s by lunchtime!!!!! So maybe we’re having lunch at the campground, busting out our bicycles for a quick ride on the Pinellas County Trail and taking a dip in the pool. At dinnertime I’m going to insist on going somewhere for a fried grouper dinner. Because.
Sunday, March 27, 2016 - It’s Easter. Let’s go to the beach. Eat more sad, sandy ham sandwiches on the beach and get burnt. MORE FRIED GROUPER FOR DINNER!!!!
Monday, March 28, 2016 - The preview day - WDW!!!!!!! Take our sweet time crawling from St. Pete’s to WDW. Stop at Orange World to buy 50 lbs of weedy-looking Florida oranges. Have lunch at Chik-fil-a and this time I’m happy and not complaining about fast food. Tears of joy streaming down our faces as we glide beneath the giant wallet-stealing rat sign. Be in line checking in at Ft. Wilderness by about 12:30 pm. Park the buggy. Plug in the hook-ups. Argue with the Magic Bands - regret that I ordered mine before Purple was a thing - jerks. Catch a bus to the outdoor mall formerly known as Downtown Disney. BUY ALL THE SOUVENIRS. Catch a bus back to camp. Put Cindylala in the stupid glitterfart Tinkerbell outfit, let Dope be Captain Hook (I’ll even give him an eyeliner curly mustache) and catch the boat to the Contemporary for at 6:40 PM ADR at Chef Mickey’s. Wheeee! I hug/mug Mickey and cry. Grump takes pictures. Go to the Fantasia shops - BUY ALL THE TOYS. Catch the monorail to the Poly. Go to the Pineapple Lanai - EAT ALL THE DOLE WHIPS. Catch the Electrical Water Pageant at Poly, Contemporary or the Ft. Wilderness beach…. Sleep soundly and have magical 8 bit dreams. Or drink five alcoholic freezer slurpees because I’m too excited to sleep.
Tuesday, March 29, 2016 - The main event - MK!!!!! Wake at 5:45. Fruit Loops and coffee - the breakfast of champions. Put Cindylala in her Cinderella dress and let Dope wear his Jack Sparrow hat. Don’t forget the contraband glow sticks and Disneyland mouse ears. Line up for the first boat to MK by about 7:15. Singing, dancing, Mickey, weeping, rope drop!!!!! Run to Adventureland. PoTC, Jungle Cruise, HM……… ALL THE RIDES. Get Grump more coffee. Country Bears, IASM, Mermaid, Dumbo.... More ALL THE RIDES. Fast passes for Peter Pan, SDMT, and Pooh. Probably un-pizzas at Pinocchio’s Village Haus for lunch and ADRs for a 7ish dinner at the Crystal Palace. Everyone hugs/mugs Piglet. Weeping. Grump takes more pictures. "Where’s my Dole Whip?" Run back to Adventureland and take care of that. PeopleMover, the Speedway, the Liberty Belle after dark. "Are there more rides?" Fireworks and Electrical parade. Boat back to camp. Sleep like the dead.
Wednesday, March 30, 2016 - adult day - EPCOT!!!!! Wake at 6 I hope. Snow White dress for Cindylala maybe Peter Pan hat for Dope. 7:30 am - a slow mickey waffle breakfast at Trail’s End. Lots of coffee for Grump. Boat to Contemporary. Monorail to EPCOT. I guess we should get on some rides. Maybe Figment, Living with the Land and Ellen’s Energy Adventure. Lunch ADRs at Restaurant Marrkesh. Schnee and Grump play Around the World. Schnee now only refers to herself in the third person. Cindylala and Dope are bored. "There are no rides here." Schnee drinks all of the light, refreshing grapefruit beer. Grump is slamming Kronenbourgs. Fast passes for Nemo, Spaceship Earth and Test Track. Dinner ADRs at Akershus. Little Snow White and big Snow White together at least. Schnee's life is complete now that she can live vicariously through Cindyla. Grump takes another picture. "You know, Pineapple Promenade sells a Dole Whip knock-off." "It would be better with rum." Fire and water show. The longest monorail line ever. Boat back to camp. Two hangovers, one motorhome toilet.....
Thursday, March 31, 2016 - the Revenge of the MK!!! Everything hurts. Wake at 5:45??? Water…. Coffee….. Put Cindylala in her NEW SURPRISE Aurora dress (I wub u mama, bess mama ebber) and let Dope wear his smelly Jack Sparrow hat again. Line up for the first boat to MK by about 7:15. Singing, dancing, Mickey, weeping, rope drop!!!!! Hobble to Liberty Square. Do stuff. Breathe this time. Fish n Chips at Columbia Harbour House for lunch. Just enjoy the magic. Fast passes to Tomorrowland Speedway, BTMR, and Splash Mountain. Leave some time in the early evening and go back to camp to hose off the glitter. Hop on a boat to Wilderness Lodge for dinner ADRs at Artist Point around 8. "We should have gotten a babysitter." Relax. "Do you want to head over to the Poly for another Dole Whip?"
Friday, April 1, 2016 - The End. Knees hurt, feet swollen, can’t walk. Wake late. Crawl to Trail’s End for more coffee and waffles. Check out by 11. Drive to Savannah. "Why does it seem to take longer going in this direction?"
Saturday, April 2, 2016 - Drive to DC.
Sunday, April 3, 2016 - Grump asks "why don’t we fly next year?" Schnee balances the checkbook and cries. Grump suggests making summer national parks trip reservations that afternoon. And Schnee starts feeling the compulsive OCD urge to over-plan the next WDW trip too.
Monday, April 4, 2016 - Schnee calls this random girl she went to high school with that’s now a travel agent (Florida hausfrau) specializing in Disney. Schnee asks her about rooms in the Contemporary for Easter 2017, has a stroke over the prices and then gives her the credit card number anyway…….
