Family wedding drama, wwyd?

[daisyduckie]

Going to try and keep this as simple as possible, though the drama has been going on for a while.

Dear Niece moved out of state with her fiancee. Her and her mom (my only sis) have had issues getting along for years.

Dear Niece is getting married (back home) and sis is paying for some of it.

Dear Niece is wedding dress shopping in a few weeks and wants me to go. Sis has trouble holding things together when she sees me and DN getting along, as their relationship is so bad. Sis doesn't want me to go along dress shopping. DN has told her she wants me there, and sis had a melt down over it.

Would you go or not? Feel a bit caught between a rock and a hard place. Yes, I would love to go! Feel it is DN's wedding, and she should have a say. However don't want to cause Dear Sis any more emotional stress. Don't want DN upset with me either.

 

[epcotisbest]

Going to try and keep this as simple as possible, though the drama has been going on for a while.

Dear Niece moved out of state with her fiancee. Her and her mom (my only sis) have had issues getting along for years.

Dear Niece is getting married (back home) and sis is paying for some of it.

Dear Niece is wedding dress shopping in a few weeks and wants me to go. Sis has trouble holding things together when she sees me and DN getting along, as their relationship is so bad. Sis doesn't want me to go along dress shopping. DN has told her she wants me there, and sis had a melt down over it.

Would you go or not? Feel a bit caught between a rock and a hard place. Yes, I would love to go! Feel it is DN's wedding, and she should have a say. However don't want to cause Dear Sis any more emotional stress. Don't want DN upset with me either.

I think all that matters is what is best for your niece. Good luck determining whatever that may be.

 

[Nemo14]

Personally I think I would go with your niece for the first round (you know it will take more than one). Get a feel of what she likes and what works for her. Then on the next round, have your sister go. There is something so special about the first time you see your daughter as a bride, and it's an honor that your niece wants you to be there for it, but don't deny your sister that moment either.

 

[MOXOMUMD]

This is like the third thread you've made about big drama with your sister. Cut the ties and move on with your life!

 

[Ricky Spanish]

If your niece and her mother do not get along, why is she letting her help pay for things?
She should not accept mom's money.
Then she can do whatever she wants to do for her wedding.
Like taking her aunt dress shopping.

 

[StarWarsGirl]

Your answer here is quite simple. Your niece asked you to go. Therefore, you should go. Whatever resentment your sister has needs to be worked out between her and your niece like the adults that they are. You shouldn't have to sacrifice your relationship with your niece just because your sister doesn't have a good relationship with her.

And to be frank, it's really not your problem to deal with. Your niece is an adult. She needs to figure out what to do about her relationship with her mother. You can offer advice, be a sounding board, but you shouldn't get involved beyond being there when asked regardless of how your sister responds. And if your sister has another fit about you going or asks you not to go, your response can be, "She asked me to go, and I intend to go." The fact that you have a better relationship with her daughter than she does is not your problem, and her jealousy of you is also not your problem.

 

[daisyduckie]

This is like the third thread you've made about big drama with your sister. Cut the ties and move on with your life!

Tried to. We didn't speak for about 6 months when I told both her and my niece that they should go to therapy if they wanted to try and salvage a good relationship. We were all miserable. So now I'm trying as best as I can to not take sides in any drama, and to not upset the apple cart as much as possible.

 

[daisyduckie]

If your niece and her mother do not get along, why is she letting her help pay for things?
She should not accept mom's money.
Then she can do whatever she wants to do for her wedding.
Like taking her aunt dress shopping.

I told my niece that too. If you take your mom's money she gets some say.